Adam’s Boys (24 page)

But then she felt the mattress slump a little beneath her. Uncovering her eyes she saw that Adam was next to her. He'd perched on the side of the bed, one arm stretched across her hips as he leant towards her.

“They're your anxieties he's trying to deal with—not his,” Adam said gently. “Can I be brutally honest here?”

Abbie nodded, but her heart launched itself into her mouth as she braced herself for Adam's verdict on her disastrous mothering of his little boy.

“You need to show Henry how to accept fear and uncertainty. He needs to learn that sometimes those two things can be micro-managed and sometimes they can't. And if they can't, then they have to be taken on as a part of life.”

“Micro-managed?” she asked, her voice dry.

“Yes, Abbie,” he repeated smiling, his kind eyes crinkling in a way that suggested that maybe he didn't think she was the worst mother in the world after all. “You even thought you could micro-manage me, but you had no hope, did you?”

Abbie smiled back at him, her heart soaring at the tentative renewal of tenderness that was creeping up between them. Yet it was more than just renewal. It was beginning to feel like a blueprint for a relationship—a good one.

Was it possible they were learning by a series of two steps forward, one step back, that they needed the quiet, intimate moments when they could relax together and talk things over? In fact, perhaps those moments could be the inspiration for all the blueprints she'd ever need to draw up for Adam's big picture life—if he ever let her back into it.

“Henry loves you,” Abbie began again, digging deep for the truth buried within her, yearning to be set free. “He wants to be with you and he's stressed and unhappy because he thinks I don't. That's where his anxieties are coming from. He's convinced I'm going to pull the rug out from beneath his new relationship with you at any second.”

“Well then, what
do
you want?” Adam asked, his jaw line setting hard like cooling molten rock. “You said you love me but do you want me as I am or are you going to wait for some guy who'll let you move him around your life like a chess piece?”

Abbie reached out her hand and trailed her fingertips down his cheekbone and across his lips before sitting upright and bringing her face very close to his.

“I want you exactly the way you are.”

“With all my faults and flaws? Because love is not a settlement deed, no matter how hard you try to make it into one,” he replied almost sternly. “You won't be able to micro-manage it and there are no guarantees. We can make promises about tomorrow but all we can really give each other is today. Tomorrow will always be a leap of faith.”

“I know, but this is not just about whether I want you. It's also about whether you want me. Can you take a leap of faith too, after everything that's happened?”

“All I want is to be with you,” he replied feelingly, caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I've felt that on so many levels from the moment you fainted in front of me at the supermarket that first day I met Henry. But since we were in the Cotswolds, it's been all consuming. It's not just because I love you, but because I need you as a friend, a lover, a soul mate. I need you to spit the dummy when I get caught up in my own world and forget not to be selfish and arrogant. But most of all, I need you to wrap me up with your passion for life, because I never want to forget again that life is worth being passionate about.”

Abbie leant back against the pillows and locked her hands behind her head. Looking up at the ceiling she felt as though she needed to centre herself amidst her burgeoning emotions before dropping her gaze back to his.

“I was so sure it was too late,” she confessed quietly. “I thought I'd hurt you too much.”

“I
was
hurt last Saturday morning—and very angry,” he admitted readily. “But I've hurt you along the way too. I was so caught up in my own needs with the boys that I was completely insensitive to yours. My lowest point was when I didn't protect you from Kate that morning at the cottage. Until you pointed that out to me I had no idea how much I'd taken you for granted.”

“You really believe we can do this, don't you?”

“I believe …” he began thoughtfully before suddenly taking hold of her waist and pulling her down on the bed so that she found herself flat on her back. He then climbed over her, suit pants, tie and all, to lie down beside her.

“No, I don't believe, I know,” he began again, his face tantalisingly close to hers. “I know that you and I love each other. I know that we can give ourselves to our boys and to each other today. And I believe that we can do it again tomorrow.”

“And the day after that?” Abbie smiled in teasing challenge as she slipped her arms around his neck. “Come on, Adam, you have no intention of taking life one day at a time—you've never lived like that. You're the big picture guy after all.”

Adam grinned as he trailed his fingers through her hair. “You're right. I have absolute faith that you and I will love each other for the rest of our lives, but one day at a time works better for you.”

“You don't need to offer me a one-day-at-a-time life anymore. I want to strap myself in for the whole Adam Cooper rollercoaster ride, even if I'm not quite sure what will be around the next corner.”

“If we can grab a few moments together like this every day or so, then I'm convinced we'll be invincible,” he pledged. “But as for that ride, I know you say you'll take it on but you shouldn't have to live like that. From now on, I'll start thinking out loud as soon as an idea begins to brew. Deal?”

“Deal,” Abbie repeated in happy relief before he caught her lips and kissed her with such euphoria she thought she might melt beneath him. When he finally broke away and gazed at her he had an expression of unfathomable contentment on his face, so much so that she could hardly find the words she wanted to say.

“What is it?” he asked gently.

“I want the four of us to move to England—for good.”

He searched her face, his brows drawing together in urgent enquiry of the feelings behind her proposal but in the end he said nothing.

“Firstly, so that we can be near your parents and Maeve too,” Abbie explained. “She told me this morning she wants to make her move back to Ireland permanent so that she can be with her sister. Secondly, so that you can become the Prime Minister of Great Britain, or whatever job it is you have your eye on,” she added teasingly. “And thirdly, so that I can run Justin's precious London office or he'll never forgive me.”

Adam eyed her quizzically. “Since when have you been concocting lists of hard-headed, logical reasons for life? I thought that was my domain. I also thought you wanted to stay in Australia.”

“It wasn't about staying here. Well, in the beginning maybe, when I was frightened about losing control over my life and Henry's. But my real problem was that you made me feel like I was going to be nothing more than scaffolding in your life. Then when your feelings for me changed, I was so blinded by my own fears and mistrust I didn't know which way was up. But now I know that wherever you and the boys are is my home. And anyway, I'll happily move countries to be with a man who stacks a dishwasher like he's performing surgery.”

He laughed, but then unable to wait any longer kissed her again as her mind drifted into an exquisite state of consciousness where she knew nothing else except that she needed the man in her arms in every part of her life—forever.

“Stick ‘em up!”

Abbie dropped her newspaper and handbag onto the floor and immediately raised her hands in front of the four height challenged bandits. They were armed with Nerf guns and lined up in front of her in the hallway. They were also wearing Zorro masks and had clearly been lying in wait for her to burst through the front door, eager to escape the rare London snowstorm gathering strength outside.

“Take anything but don't shoot me!” she cried out in mock distress.

“We don't want to take anything,” the tallest of the tiny bandits explained. His dark hair was standing up in tufts on top of his head and the dark eyes behind the mask suggested an uncanny resemblance to Peter Cooper.

The four of them were dressed up in a hodgepodge of fighting costumes ranging from cowboys to superheroes. Clearly a major raid had been carried out on Pete and Henry's dress-up box; and Abbie could pretty much picture the complete chaos of their bedroom in the wake of that raid.

“Okay then, can I put my hands down?” she asked tentatively.

“So long as you don't move until you deliver the goods,” a redheaded bandit declared; he looked suspiciously like Perry Middleton, Pete's best friend from school.

“Hang on. I thought you said you didn't want anything from me,” Abbie asked in challenge as she rested her hands on her hips.

“Not stuff,” a Henry look-a-like retorted in his cowboy pants and superman cape. “What we want is for you to let Perry and Josh sleepover tonight. Dad said ‘yes' if it's okay with you,” Henry added, dropping his cover momentarily.

“Oh he did, did he?” Abbie smirked at the four boys grinning up at her. Of course they were grinning—they'd already secured their object of the evening because they knew Abbie was unlikely to deny them what they wanted when Adam hadn't put his foot down.

“What about school tomorrow?” she queried, wondering why Adam had gone soft on a Thursday night when they were both strict about weeknight sleepovers.

“Pupil free day!” Josh Middleton, Perry's little brother had declared at that point.

“Oh that's right,” Abbie purred. “Henry and Pete, haven't you told the boys that I always set revision homework after breakfast on pupil free days for any little boys who happen to be in my house?”

With that Perry and Josh looked aghast at Pete and Henry.

“She's kidding!” Pete explained, grinning at Abbie as he caught her wink.

“What about your mum, Perry and Josh? How does she feel about a sleepover?”

“She said it's okay with her if it's okay with you.”

“Hmm, down to me a second time. Oh, the pressure! What shall I decide?” Abbie declared teasingly, enjoying the four expectant expressions in front of her.

But then Henry couldn't bear the suspense any longer. Dropping his gun to the floor with a clatter he threw his arms around her waist and began to jump up and down. “Say yes!” he wailed imploringly.

Abbie smiled down at her four-year-old and ran her hand through his hair. It was darkening up over the English winter—he looked more like his father than ever.

“Okay,” Abbie replied, relieving them all of their agony of suspense.

“Yee-hah!” they whooped around the hallway before one of them yelled, “Come on, let's go down to the basement again.”

“Don't stay down there too long boys, it's too … cold,” Abbie finished in a whisper, knowing the boys were halfway down the stairs and would never hear her final words above the din they were making.

Abbie dragged a hand through her hair—damp and dishevelled from the snow—and leaning over to pick up her things she felt that feeling deep within herself again and smiled.

With a clatter of high heels on the timber floor, she made her way towards the kitchen and the music booming from there. Coldplay was on—Adam's favourite. He always played music when he was cooking, and from the aromas wafting through the doorway she guessed they were eating penne carbonara for dinner tonight—one of his specialties.

Sure enough, as she paused at the doorway, she could see he was hard at work separating eggs as a load of pancetta and garlic crisped up in the fry pan. He was singing along to the music very loudly, in fact in complete abandonment, falling into silence every now and then if he had to concentrate on not combining yolks and whites. But as soon as the momentary cooking problem was resolved he'd break out again into whistling—louder than his singing—until he could pick up the words in the song again. He reminded Abbie of one those old fashioned one-man bands, trying to do five things at once quite badly but somehow pulling it all together in the end.

Abbie dropped her things onto the chair next to the door and walked towards her husband, wondering whether seeing him at the end of the day would ever not make her feel as incredible as it did every night.

She doubted it.

The music was so loud and Adam's concentration so intent that he didn't see her until she was nearly at his side. When he finally did see her his face lit up. He dropped the block of parmesan cheese he was grating and grabbing her around the waist swung her around the room for a few rounds of ‘Paradise'.

Abbie laughed helplessly, even though half the ingredients from his apron were transferring themselves onto the front of one of her more expensive suits—she didn't care.

When he grew tired of dancing and wanted to hold her, he slid his arms around her waist and kissed her so passionately she thought her legs might collapse from underneath her.

What a welcome! She'd looked forward to their reunion all day—he hadn't disappointed her.

“Two extra boys and penne carbonara for dinner,” he yelled to be heard over the music. “That okay with you?”

“That's fine,” she laughed, noticing cream smeared across his forehead.

He then reached for the remote and turned the music down as she reached for a cloth to wipe the cream off his face.

“How was work?” he asked with a warm smile, gathering her up in his arms again.

“Busy. I need to talk to you about some things that have cropped up,” Abbie explained, eager to get the office hassles out of the way as quickly as possible so that she could move onto a topic that was much more important to her that night. “Later on we'll need to call Justin to make some decisions. You know that lawyer from Robinson Simons who wants to bring his class action practice across to us, well he was on the phone again today. He's still keen so we need to sit down with him and start talking soon.”