Addicted After All (47 page)

“I’ll never live it down if I wear these,” Rose tells us, folding them neatly. She pauses, hesitates. And then begins unfolding. “Fuck it.” She takes off her panties beneath her black robe.

Daisy and I hop together, cheering Rose on. “Put them on! Put them on!” we chant.

She hisses at us to be quiet, her eyes on the door like someone is going to walk in any minute. They aren’t going to. It’s locked—

The door swings open. I
thought
I locked it. Lo shuts it behind him, but thankfully Rose has already finished switching out her panties.

“Loren!” Rose shouts, about to claw his face to shreds.

He shields his eyes with his hand. “Jesus Christ. You’re not even dressed yet?” He checks his watch. “The event starts in an hour.” Daisy disappears into Rose’s closet for an outfit, and I slip the lilac dress over my head.

“We were having wardrobe malfunctions,” Rose lies.

Even with his eyes covered, he produces a signature half-smile that’s drop-dead-gorgeous. “That’s not what Twitter said.”

Rose glowers at me, one that should belong in the depths of hell.

I recoil and my phone slips out of my hand, clattering to the floor. Rose follows Daisy to the closet, and I bend down to retrieve my cell.

The minute I stand back up, I spin around and lock eyes with Lo. He wears a full-on smile, no longer bitter or sarcastic. This one dimples his cheeks. I scan him from head-to-toe. His black tailored suit, black button-down, and red pocket square fits his personality. His longer hair on top is pushed back, the sides short in this stylish, cool way. Loren Hale is edgy. Always has been. And even if he has to please a board of fourteen people, he hasn’t changed.

My whole body heats in a good-bad way. Especially as he slowly nears me, never breaking from my gaze. And then his hands fall to my waist. And then lower. To my ass. My heart thuds. Especially as his hands vanish beneath my dress.

Oh wait…he saw me bend down and…

He snaps the hem of my panties, and I almost crumble in his arms.

“Where’d you get these?” he asks, turning me around, so my ass faces him. And then he lifts up my dress. I’m caught already.

“They were supposed to be a surprise,” I tell him as he checks out my butt, and he even squeezes. I can’t—holy shit. “Lo…” My breath shallows.

He kisses my neck and then rotates me once more, my ass no longer his visual. My arousal has peaked a little bit. And he says, “Later tonight, I’m fucking you hard.”

I nod with growing eyes.
Yes. Yes, please.

He spanks me lightly. Oh my God. I fling my arms around his waist, holding on tight. This is nice.

“Do you need me to zip you?” he asks.

“Wha…?” I frown.

“Your dress, Lil.”

“Oh yeah. Sure.”

Without moving me, he raises the zipper up to my shoulder blades. My sisters’ chatter in the closet is muffled by the wall, and for the most part, a heavy silence falls in Rose’s room.

I look up at him and realize he’s no longer smiling from ear-to-ear. He seems far off in thought.

Under his breath, he says, “I came in here to talk to you about tonight.”

“Oh…” It’s one of the last Hale Co. events before the board picks a new CEO. During it, Moffy and Jane will be with the best babysitter in the world. Poppy even told me that was her official title, so I haven’t worried too much about him.

Now the meaning behind this event hits me like a tidal wave. Lo and I haven’t talked about the CEO position much. There’s been this quiet understanding between Ryke, Daisy, Lo and me that we’re all trying to win the spot for each other.

Lo holds my face, his fingers now combing through my hair. “Lil…” His eyes bore into mine, so powerful that it steals my breath. “I need you to believe in me.”

The bottom of my stomach drops. “I do…I always do.”

He licks his lips. “Then
please
, trust me to take this job. No one thinks I can handle it, but I at least need you to.”

I frown deeply. For me, it’s always been more than his addiction. “I don’t want you to work for Hale Co. if you don’t want to.”

“I’m telling you,
I want to.
”

I don’t know if I believe him. And that’s what he’s asking of me. That’s the scary part.

His chest falls heavily as he reads my reaction. “Please, Lil.”

He’s asking me to self-sabotage. I see it in his eyes. I open my mouth but nothing comes out at first. I want to believe him. More than anything.

He draws me closer to his body. “I would be more hurt watching you in Hale Co. than I
ever
would by being there. I don’t want to suffer through that.
Please.
” The conviction and sincerity in his voice pushes me to one side and solidifies my choice.

I don’t hesitate this time. “Okay,” I agree, and my anxiety starts to lessen. I’d planned to schmooze tonight—or at least try and put my best foot forward, even if it’s like swimming with sharks.

He exhales like I just lifted a hundred pound weight off his chest. It makes me feel like I chose right this time. He hugs me and then kisses my temple. “Thank you.”

I whisper, “Not that I was your biggest competition.” I ranked near the bottom of the list. Daisy and Ryke are far worthier adversaries.

I can sense him smiling before I even look up. “You were a great opponent,” he tells me. “I think Ryke was scared of you.”

I perk up. “Really?”

He nods. “Oh yeah.” He partially teases me, and I punch his arm lightly. He mock winces and rubs the spot.

“What do I do then?” I ask him. “Should I not go?”

“No, you have to go,” he tells me. “Just be standoffish. Stay by a plant or something and eat.”

“Like we usually do?” I ask with a smile.

He doesn’t share it. “I have to talk with the board, so you’ll be alone…”

Oh. Right. “Yeah, yeah,” I say softly. “I can be aloof though.” It’s my natural state of being. “I’m rooting for you, just so you know.”

He breaks into a laugh, his eyes welling with tears—like it’s the first time he’s heard those words. In this context, I realize that it most likely is.

My heart swells. Yep, I’m rooting for you, Loren Hale.
You got this.

{ 49 }

LOREN HALE

Hale Co. has thrown a massive fall charity event in support of a children’s hospital downtown. By massive, everyone with deep pockets in Philly was invited, regardless if they’re involved with Hale Co. or not.

It’s simple. Serve drinks, good food, and have people share their stories of how Hale Co. reached out to them when they were in need. Afterwards, people will open their checkbooks. I’ve been to so many of these that they feel more routine than any school function would.

I sip a glass of water while a speaker finishes her story, and then I head towards the crowds to find Daniel Perth, one of the board members. But I don’t have to squeeze between bodies. The moment I step near, they break for me.

Seas of people create paths, just so that I can pass through. I’ve never been anything more than a nuisance. I expect glares to drill into me. But they just nod and smile. It’s been like this all night. I feel different. Older. Stronger.

I carry more confidence in my gait, and I wonder, if all this time, I just needed belief in myself. And then I’d receive this response. It overwhelms me in ways I can’t explain.

But I just move forward.

A minute later, I find Daniel by the cheese and wine bar with three other board members. One female, two males.

Daniel raises his red wine in welcome. “Enjoying yourself?”

“The wine could be better,” I banter with a half-smile.

He laughs at the joke and pats my shoulder. “I was just telling Irene about your idea for a designer clothes line for infants and toddlers.”

Irene, a severe woman with a narrowed stare, tries to crush me beneath a harsh gaze. I return hers with a colder one, not at all intimidated by her or him or any one of the board members. They don’t compare to my father. Not even close.

Her lips twitch into a smile as she asks, “Are you sure you can have Rose Calloway agree to this partnership?”

“We’re not best friends,” I say dryly, “but I know I can convince her.”

“How so?” Irene looks doubtful as she eats a cracker.

“Because she’s like my bratty older sister. Even though we can’t stand each other at times, we still love one another and she’d be willing to do this for me.” I know she would. “Though, she’ll need to be a partner in that division. Rose likes her titles, and she won’t want to take orders from me.” I’m always honest with the board.

I decided, early on, that I won’t lie for anything anymore. It’s not healthy. It’s not worth the pain. And if I want to live my life as a better, more whole person, this is what I have to do. It’s like I can breathe with every sentence. I’m no longer dreading my future.

For the first time, I yearn for tomorrow and cherish yesterday and live for today. It’s peace that no one will take from me.

“You should talk to her and start pitching names for the clothing line,” Daniel says as he finishes off his wine.

Irene nods. “It’s a strong concept, and most women like Rose.”

Another guy asks, “Are you prepared to work with her?” He wears a bemused smile like he understands Rose’s reputation for being a handful.

“I am. And if we don’t kill each other, I’ll call it a success.”

They all laugh. I understand that they’re used to someone like me. I pretty much share the same humor as my dad, so it doesn’t fall on deaf ears. I’ve fit in more easily with them than I ever thought I would.

“Hey.” My brother’s voice sounds behind me. He sets a hand on my shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Yeah.” I nod to Daniel. “I’ll talk to you all later.”

“Maybe the wine will grow on you by then,” Daniel jokes.

“If only,” I banter back, my brother’s fingertips digging into my shoulder. I turn around quickly and head over to an empty high-top table by the wall.

He starts, “You’re not drinking—”

“No,” I retort. “It was just a joke.”
One I can fucking handle.
My clutch on my glass tightens, especially as I scrutinize his wardrobe again.

He’s wearing a business suit, something my dad loved seeing him in. Navy blue, tailored, wide-tie. He even shaved this morning, an attempt to try harder and be something he’s not.

“You look stupid,” I tell him.

Ryke glares. “I heard you the first four fucking times.”

I feel my jaw jut out as I clench my teeth. I hate that he’s taking this route to win. He’s cursed out too many of the board members to be a real option anyway. He can try to change his appearance, but he can’t change a lot of things that make him who he is.

And honestly, I thank God for that.

“What did you want?” I ask.

He runs an anxious hand through his hair. I notice dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept much. “Have you seen Dad’s text?” I realize he’s grasping his cellphone in a fist.

My brows knot in confusion, and I pull my cell from my pocket. I set it on silent for the event. With one click, I scroll through all the missed messages.

New standings. Maybe this will put a fire under your asses tonight.
– Dad

I skim all four texts, sent almost at the same time.

Lily Calloway: the board thinks you’re still too quiet. And since Maximoff’s birth, you’ve become aloof and disinterested. 4 out of 14 board members approve.
– Dad

I look over my shoulder. Lingering by the chocolate fountain, Lily snacks on cheese cubes with a toothpick. I’d feel guiltier by leaving her alone if she didn’t have this silly grin on her face. She’s absorbed in her new smart phone—social media, I’m pretty damn sure.

I’m happy that it’s making her happy and not the inverse for once.

 I try to let out a breath. She’s out of the running. She won’t go out of her way to try either. It’s less pressure on me. It makes this easier.

I swallow hard and continue reading.

Loren Hale: everyone is overall impressed (as they should be). They find you charming, likeable and tough. The few that had problems with me are still hesitant on committing to you. 11 out of 14 love you.
– Dad

How do I even convince these last three to like me? I’m so much like my dad. I internally grimace as I contemplate different avenues. I try to block them out before I read on.

Ryke Meadows: you’ve vastly improved. You’re approachable and show willingness to change. The majority believe you’d be a strong leader for the company. 11 out of 14 love you.
– Dad

My stomach sinks and cold bites my neck. I’d counted my brother out for the past month. I go rigid, not able to say anything. My eyes hit the screen again.

Daisy Calloway: you’ve shown maturity and seem genuinely interested in the company. You’re also beyond personable with great energy and enthusiasm. 13 of the 14 love you. Irene hesitates to have you as CEO. She thinks you’re too wild and young. Find a way to please her, and the company is yours. Congratulations.
– Dad

Now I understand why Ryke rushed over to me. A worse outcome than Ryke taking over the company would be Daisy. My brother’s features are hard as rock.

“This can’t fucking happen.” He points at my phone.

I pocket my cell. “What you’re feeling now is self-inflicted,” I shoot back. “You can end this
—
”

“Fucking stop,” he growls lowly.

I shake my head. “All you have to do is tell her. Just say it, bro. You’d rather the position go to
me
than her.” He thinks he’s subjecting me to hell, but he’s not. It’s not unbearable. This is where I was always supposed to be.

“I can’t fucking choose
her
over you, or vice versa.” Darkness sweeps over his face like a passing storm.

It’s like this is a sin he refuses to commit. “It’s
not
a sin,” I tell him outright. “I’m not going to hate you for choosing a better life for the girl you love. I’m not that fucking guy.”
Not anymore.