Addicted After All (61 page)

Before she can march over to him, Connor notices her approaching and breaks away from his conversation with the neighbors. Rose narrows her eyes at the fake teeth in his mouth. “Those probably make you slur and yet you’re still schmoozing.”

“It’s what I’m good at,” Connor says,
clearly
. Her eyes turn to fire and he only grins wider. Jesus. “Assumptions are what you aren’t good at, darling”

“I’m better at them than you, and that’s all that matters.” She holds out her hands for Jane. “Come here, little gremlin. We’re matching. You don’t need to be in the hands of an egotistical vampire.”

Connor beams and when they stare at each other it’s like two dominant personalities equalizing out. Impossible. But somehow right. I shake my head and leave their sides just as they turn their conversation to French.

I finally make it back to Lily, sliding next to her. I hand her the cookie and then lift Moffy in my arms.

“Have you seen Daisy?” Ryke suddenly asks us, coming over with a plate of chips and spinach dip. “I can’t fucking find her.”

“Check the moon,” I tell him.

He gives me a weird look.

My lips pull in a dry smile. “That’s where she claims she goes in her answering machine message.”

“Hilarious.” He pops a chip in his mouth.

Moffy squirms, waking from his nap. He tries to suck on my finger, and before I ask, Lil passes me his bottle. I press it to his lips, and he eagerly grips the sides as he drinks.

Then Lily makes a gasping noise.

“What?” I quickly look up at her, but she’s not focused on Moffy.

“You don’t see it,” she says, trying to cover my eyes. Hers are planted on something by the apple bobbing tub.

“Too late,” I tell her, my gaze narrowing at Garrison dressed as
nothing.
He just wears all-black. And he fixes my sister’s wet hair off her forehead, her costume: Chun-Li from
Street Fighter
. His hand brushes her hip, and she lets out a nervous laugh.

I like him. But I like her more. Willow is
my
responsibility while she lives in Philly, and his track-record is shit.

“They’re cute,” Lily reminds me.

I shake my head and grimace the longer I watch this young romance unfold. I wonder if we were that love sick growing up.

Ryke tells Lily, “He’s a fucking hormonal teenage guy with anger issues. It’s not cute.”

Lily swallows a bite of cookie. “I was a hormonal teenage girl. Minus the teenage part, I still kind of am…”

“And you’re adorable,” I tell Lily, kissing her temple.

“
Anger issues
,” Ryke emphasizes, licking his fingers.

Garrison slings his arm around Willow’s waist. Great. Quickly, I press a hand to Moffy’s ear and shout, “Hey! You two!”

Willow and Garrison’s heads whip over to the hay bales across the pool. It takes a single Hale death-glare for them to break apart like a bomb exploded at their feet.

“That was mean,” Lily tells me.

Ryke butts in, “You wouldn’t think it was mean if you knew the shit he said about you.”

“What?” she frowns.

I’m not close enough to slap the back of my brother’s head, but I’d like to. “He has no filter,” I remind her. “He’s working on it.” Hopefully. I’ve talked to him a lot at Superheroes & Scones. He’s still a dick, but he’s less of a dick now than he was before.

Ryke has a hard time forgiving any guy who degrades women—except maybe me. I called his own mom a word that he can’t even say…and at the time, I thought she was my mother. It’s fucked up.
I
was fucked up. So I get that guy. More than anyone probably will.

“Ca-caw!” someone shouts from up high. We all follow the noise to the roof of the house. “Ca-caw!” Daisy, wearing an antler headband and a brown shirt, sits on the shingles. Her gaze is pinned right on my brother. “Hunt me.”

She might as well have said
fuck me.
I try to tune them out and feed my kid, but it’s hard not to overhear.

“Deer don’t ca-caw, Calloway,” Ryke deadpans.

She gasps. “How’d you know I was a deer?” Her smile brightens as she swings her legs off the ledge. Her hair is pulled back in a braid, her long scar visible across her face.

Lily slaps my arm repeatedly. “Nerd star alert,” she tells me.

Jesus Christ, I don’t have the mental stability to watch both couples at the same time. My brain will implode on impact. I purposefully just train my focus on my brother if I have to choose one. I missed his reply to Daisy, but he trashes his plate and heads to her.

Instead of entering the house, he climbs up the drainpipe, using his upper-body strength. Making it look like he’s taking the fucking stairs to reach Daisy. When he sits his ass on the shingles and kisses her, more than a few people clap and cheer.

But all I see is a guy who’ll be bedridden for a month and a half after a high-risk surgery. And even if he’s okay after that, I see a guy who’s willing to climb four-thousand foot cliffs with no rope to catch him.

My brother’s lifespan is shorter than mine. I know it. And I hate it.

He deserves to outlive me and every goddamn person here.

Never in my life did I think having a brother would change me. Make me better than who I am. But there’s something about siblings that pushes you to thrive in ways that a parent can’t.

“Hey, Lil,” I breathe, putting Moffy’s bottle down.

“Hmm?” She’s fixated on Connor and Rose, a giddy smile on her face. Her sister saved her. I said that to Ryke earlier, and it’s the fucking truth. Rose took care of Lily when I was in rehab; she was there when I should’ve been. When I
couldn’t
be.

And the words just leave me. “Someday,” I say, “I want another kid.”

She freezes and very slowly turns to face me, stunned in disbelief. I’ve never professed this or even let it linger for longer than a second. “What…?”

I lick my lips. “I
believe
that we can raise more than one kid. It doesn’t have to be in a year or two or even three. But someday, I want to meet Luna and whoever else. I don’t want Maximoff to be an only child like I was growing up.”

I’ve lived both versions: no siblings, siblings. For me, there’s no question which one I’d choose again.

I wait for Lily’s response, but her facial expression hasn’t shifted past shocked.

“Unless…you don’t…” I trail off, watching her chin quake.

And then she breaks into a smile, tears rolling down her cheeks. That’s a yes. She’s wanted this, I realize. But she didn’t entertain it—for me.

“You thought one and done?” I ask with a rising smile.

She nods, rubbing her forearms across her cheeks, drying her tears. “I know you love him,” she sniffs. “So much. But you never talked about it.”

I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “I never told you this but having a kid, it affected me.” I exhale these strong sentiments that propel me forward. “And I’m not saying it’s been easy or it’s been this magic solution to my problems. Sometimes it made things worse, overwhelmed me, but…it shook me. It woke me up.” I pause. “And somewhere in my head, I tightened the things that’d been coming loose. I know they can always unscrew again. I know that I can relapse down the line. But I’m not looking at the worst parts of my life anymore. I’m focusing on the best things I have. And there are a whole hell of a lot of those.”

Lily’s eyes say
I love you.
So many of them that my chest rises in sync with hers. Moffy in my arms, she inches closer to me and rests her cheek on my chest.

I hug her against me and kiss the outside of her lips. She’s not crossing her legs or squirming. Or pleading for sex. Tears squeeze through the creases of her eyes, this gorgeous, happy smile playing at her lips.

“I’m supposed to give you presents on your birthday,” she murmurs, “not the other way around.”

“You’ve given me enough to last a hundred more birthdays, love.” At twenty-five, I am in desperate love with a girl who desperately loves me back. There is nothing more that I want than to experience life with her.

She touches Moffy’s tiny fingers, and she skims his cheek with a gentle, caring brush of her thumb.

My family. My wife. My son.

Never did I think I’d be the recipient of fragile, precious things.

Every single part of me is alive today. And it’ll be tomorrow. I’m not dying in my own body anymore. I am truly living. Peace courses through me. It’s the quiet that I never thought existed. And the heaven that I never believed was meant for me.

Lily and I—we may have started our relationship as pretend.

But for as long as I can remember, our love has always been real.

COMING IN WINTER/SPRING 2015

Even though Lily & Lo’s love story has concluded, their lives continue in FUEL THE FIRE and LONG WAY DOWN – the Calloway Sisters spin-off series.

The extended epilogue of the Addicted series will be included in LONG WAY DOWN.

COMING IN LATE 2015

DAMAGED LIKE US

The first book in the new adult Like Us Series.

What happens when the Addicted kids are all grown up?

The Like Us series will revolve around the next generation in the Addicted world as they navigate college, love, family and fame.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

So many people have made the Addicted series special to us. In ways that we can’t justly articulate. It’s been a whirlwind and a dream, and to know that this is a reality that we can share with you—there is nothing more powerful for us and so we want to begin by saying thank you.

To our mom—our very own Rose Calloway. Thank you for your constant, unwavering love. You’ve taught us about family, loyalty and given us a great deal of confidence, all while wearing heels. You’re one of the most generous human beings, and we only hope to grow up with a fraction of your heart. At 23, we have a long way to go, but we’re ready, thanks to you.

To our dad and brother—thanks for always believing in us. It has made standing up and moving forward after any tumbles and falls so much easier. We love you both.

And to the Fizzle Force, fans of the Addicted series—you mean much more to us than just fans. You’re all our friends. Whether we’ve met you, whether you’re anonymous, whether the most you’ve done is read our work. You have changed us. You’ve made us better writers. You’ve made us push ourselves. And we can walk away from Lily & Lo now in peace.

Thank you for sticking with us. Thank you for standing behind these characters. You’re the Wampa cap to our Lily. The high heels to our Rose. And the sunshine to our Daisy. Without you, this series wouldn’t be what it is now.

Have hope. Stay strong. We’ll see you again, even if this is goodbye from Lily & Lo.

As Lily would say,
thankyouthankyouthankyou
.

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