Addy And The Smart Guy (Big Girl Panties #3) (23 page)

When her body went limp, he gathered her against his chest and stroked her hair. One of her hands rested along his neck. He smiled, perfectly content. "You have a way of making nothing else matter, Addy."

She smiled against his chest. "I could say the same for you."

"What was that all about? Jumping me like that?"

She giggled. "It excited me that you want to do something like this, something so huge, with me."

"Yet, you say you have to think about it. What's your hesitation?"

She sat up and looked in his eyes. "My only hesitation is that it feels like you're offering me a two year relationship."

"I am, Addy. Two years together. And if we like the job, we can sign on for more time. If we like each other, we can keep going with the relationship. I thought you would be glad that I was offering something long term."

She stared into him for a long time. Then she stood and fixed her bra. "I need to change. So do you."
 

Grey stood and grabbed her arm. "Wait. Are you still going to think about it?"

She smiled tightly. "Yes. I want to go with you. I just need to decide whether your offer is enough for me."

He felt his own expression fall. "Enough for you? Addy, I'm willing to commit to two years with you. That's huge for me. Are you telling me you can't compromise that much?"

"I'm telling you I need to think about it."

He looked away. He'd expected hesitation. He'd figured she would want to think about it because it meant traveling to far away places, giving up some of the comforts she was used to, leaving her loved ones behind. It hadn't occurred to him that her only hesitation would be his lack of commitment. "I don't understand. Are you telling me you would go with me if I proposed?"

"You're not proposing, are you? So I'm telling you I need to think about it."

He sat down and began gathering his things. "Fine, Addy. Let's get married. Let's tell each other we'll be together forever. Let's make a bunch of promises we'll never be able to keep and then pop out some kids who will have to suffer the consequences of our delusions." He hefted his computer bag on his shoulder as he stood and faced her. "Whatever it takes for you to come with me."

Two tears slipped down her cheeks, and Grey felt like an absolute jerk. "All's I said was I needed to think about it," she whispered.

"Yeah? And I thought I'd offered you something you'd want. I mean, I understand if you hesitate to travel so far away for such a long period of time. But to consider rejecting me because I'm not committing to you enough? We've been fucking for less than three weeks, Addy. Even if I did believe in marriage, we've hardly got a foundation for it at this point, do we?"

She shook her head, looking like a little kid getting a lecture.
 

"Do you understand how unreasonable it is for you to put this on me?"

She nodded, another tear spilling out.

He sighed and looked down at his feet. "I don't know what to do. I love you, Addy, but I just—" He froze and looked up at her, mentally begging the universe for a take-back. He hadn't meant those particular words. "I mean, I care about you. I'm attracted to you. I mean…whatever my feelings for you…I just can't change who I am. And maybe…maybe it's best if we just…" He let the words hang, as unwilling to commit to breaking up as he was to marrying.

Addy just gaped at him, her lips pressed together and her tear-filled eyes wide.

Grey swallowed down the confusing feelings warring to get out. At this point, it was best if he didn't try to talk anymore. Enough damage had been done. He walked toward the door. "I'll meet you in my office in a half an hour. We'll walk to the committee thing together." He left without looking back.

Dr. Markham, Dean Richter, and two other professors sat on one side of a conference table while Grey and Addy sat on the other. Earlier, after Grey had left to go to his apartment, Addy had picked up her phone and made a lunch date. She hoped this review or interrogation or whatever it was wouldn't take too long.
 

"Ms. Hart, we just have a few questions for you," Dr. Markham began.

Addy was simply sick of the shit. "Could I just make a statement? I'm pretty sure it'll answer all your questions. Then you all can do whatever it is you do to decide whether I've earned my thesis or not."

This earned her a tight smile from Dean Richter and a glare from Markham. "Go ahead," Dr. Markham said.

"Until three weeks ago, I never once behaved inappropriately in any manner with Dr. McDaniel. But I've been attracted to him since I've known him, and the two of us went away together over spring break. We've had several encounters since then."

"By encounters you mean…?"

"Good old-fashioned fucking, Dr. Markham," Addy said.

Grey dropped his head back and groaned.

"Ms. Hart, if you'll kindly police your language."

"You asked," Addy said. "May I continue?"

Dr. Markham grudgingly nodded her head.

"My thesis is meticulously documented. I've cited all my sources, including several articles by Dr. McDaniel. I've sought counsel from him as he was my advisor, but I've never throughout the course of writing my thesis, behaved unethically. He's never shown me favoritism. I've never sought favoritism. He's never used his position of authority to coerce me. I've never used my body to get good grades from him. That's all I have to say."

"So you claim that these 'encounters' have all been mutually consensual?"

"Enthusiastically so."

Grey shot her a look, but she could see he was trying not to smile.
 

Dr. Markham sighed heavily, clearly annoyed with Addy. "Of course we'll have to scrutinize your thesis more heavily."

"Of course," Addy replied.

"Dr. McDaniel," Dean Richter said, "Is there anything you want to say?"

"Yes. I want it known that I made the first advance. I invited her away with me over spring break. Had I not done that, she likely wouldn't be in this position."

Addy rolled her eyes, frustrated that he was taking that blame when she'd asked him not to.

"I also want to apologize for lying to you yesterday," Grey said to Dean Richter. "I hadn't talked to Addison, yet, to see how she wanted to handle it, and to tell you the truth, I was completely caught off guard by Caroline's behavior."

Addy snorted. "She came to my apartment and beat me up. You were surprised she was stalking you?"

Grey shot her a 'not now' look.
 

"Of course I accept your apology, Greyson," Dean Richter said, "Though my trust will be much harder to earn back. I must confess to feeling quite disappointed."

"I know, Erika. I regret the lie, I really do."

"You don't regret the affair?"

Grey glanced at Addy, offered her a sad smile, and then replied, "Just the timing of it. I could have waited six more weeks and taken her away for the whole summer."

Addy blushed and bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling.
 

"Listen, you all know Addison," Grey continued, "She's not being irresponsible. She's not being rebellious or immature. She simply followed her heart like we all do from time to time. We should have waited until she graduated, but we didn't, and now I'm asking you to please trust what you know about her. She's got far too much pride and integrity to cheat. She's worked extremely hard and done an amazing job."

"We'll determine that for ourselves," Dr. Markham said in her craggy voice.

There were a few more questions before Addy was dismissed. Grey stayed behind to talk with Dean Richter, so Addy headed back to his office. As she meandered her way across campus, she wondered what she'd expected of the whole thing. She must have prepared herself to get expelled or whatever happened to people who slept with their thesis advisors.
 

Instead, her review was going to go forward, her thesis judged on its own merit. The only exception being if they found any evidence of plagiarism or academic dishonesty within the document itself, which they wouldn't.
 

Addy inhaled the warm, spring air. Trees were budding with white flowers and pale, green leaves. The sun was warm and there was that familiar buzz of excitement that always came at the end of the school year. She never was for sure whether the excitement came from spring or from graduation. Either way, it was nice to be surrounded by the energy when she, herself, felt so low.

As she walked into the political science building and began climbing the stairs to the offices, a pair of students walked by her. One of them called her a slut as she passed by. Addy froze only a second before continuing up the stairs. She should have expected it, but it still stung. When she topped the stairs, she saw Ben leaning outside the door to Grey's office.

Addy's heart sank. Even though Ben was smiling, she still felt awful. She'd ignored two of his calls, and now he was finding out all this stuff about her through Gwen's vicious gossip.
 

Never one to back down in fear, Addy strolled up to him. "Hello," she said tentatively.

"Hey, Addy. You look good today. Maybe even…glowing?"

She blushed and smiled down at her feet. "Not glowing."

Ben tipped her chin up. "No? So you're not…?"

"Knocked up? No."

Ben nodded. "Any plans to be?"

"Definitely not."

He laughed, obviously the most good-natured man on the planet. "Well, listen. I came here because I don't like letting things hang or fizzle or whatever. I can take a hint. You haven't called me, haven't answered my calls. I just want to get it straight from you. You aren't going to be hanging out with me anytime soon, are you?"

She gazed up at him. "I'm an idiot."

"Nah, you're just in love. It happens."

A laugh escaped. "So you believe in love?"

"Of course I do. Who doesn't believe in love? Although I'll say, you're the first girl I've met I thought I might actually like to fall in love with, just from the little I know about you."

"What about marriage? Do you believe in happy marriages?"

"Well, sure. My parents are in one. I think I can make it happen for myself someday."

"And kids? You want kids someday?"

"A half dozen or so, yeah."

Addy groaned and fell back against the wall. "I'm an idiot."

Ben chuckled and turned toward her, brushing his knuckles gently along her cheekbone. "I'm not going to wait on you or anything. But if you ever find yourself free and interested, give me a call, okay? I guarantee you if I'm still free, I'll definitely be interested."

"You won't be free for long, Ben. Not too many idiots like me willing to pass up such an amazing deal."

He smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and walked away, passing by a scowling Grey as he headed toward the stairs. Grey turned his scowl to Addy. "Is that revenge for Caroline?"

She just about spat in his face over that. "You think I'm that vindictive? Fuck you, Grey."

This startled the scowl off his face. He rolled his shoulders back and stood taller. "You're right. That was unfair of me."

Addy didn't bother agreeing with him. She led the way into his office. "So do you still have a job?" she asked.

"No," he answered, "but only because I'm resigning. Like I said, honey. With or without you, I'm going."

She did her best not to let the pain in her heart show on her face.
 

"It's just, I need an answer, Addy. By the end of the week."

She frowned. "That soon? Why?"

"Because if you aren't coming with me, then I'm going to take the three month training job Troy offered me. But if you're coming, then I'll volunteer, with you, for two years. And I need to get him an answer on the training job by Friday."

"Okay," she said. "I'll let you know."

She had her back to him, straightening some papers on her desk.

"So you're still considering it?" he asked. "Even after…"
 

She let him trail off. Let him wait for her answer. "If you still want me to consider it."

"More than anything, Addy. I want this with you more than anything. I love…"

She smiled to herself. He just couldn't seem to keep that word from slipping out.

Grey cleared his throat. "I mean, I care for you, very much." He came up behind her and gripped her shoulders. "More than I've ever cared for anyone. And…and if it's going to take a ring and a vow to get you to come with me, then I'll give it to you."

"I think you know good and well that's not the kind of marriage proposal I want."

His forehead dropped to the top of her head. "Yeah, I know."

She turned in his arms and embraced him. "I've got a lunch date with your mom."

He jumped back, nearly shoving her into her desk. "What?"

She grinned. "I called her because I remembered she said she'd tell me why you are the way you are. I thought she might give me some insights into your character to help me decide."

His smile was hesitant. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You're seriously doing background research on me…with my mother?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

He threw up his hands and went round his desk to fall into his chair. "No. Not a problem. Of course, if you really want to know why I am the way I am, you should have lunch with my father. I'd dress conservatively, though, if I were you; you look about his type. Which isn't saying much since his only requirements are young and female, so…" He finished with a shrug and glared at the all like a pouting child.

Addy could only stand there and gape at him. This was the most personal life detail he'd ever given her. This was the most vulnerable he'd ever looked. There was anger, there. Anger and bitterness and resentment. "Wow. You really keep that all hidden."

His head snapped round to look at her. "What?"

"Your feelings about your dad."

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm not defined by my feelings about my dad."

"That's not what you just said. You said if I really wanted to know about you, I should meet your father—"

"I know what I just said. My point is, I'm neither of my parents. I'm not my complacent, sardonic mother. And I'm not my heartless, womanizing father. So really, you're wasting your time."