Admission of Love (32 page)

Chapter Twenty-seven

Nana Lil’s eyes opened slowly and she frowned at the recognizable stench of a hospital. Her time was near, and she knew it. She would have much preferred to be at home to pass on to other the side, but there was nothing she could do about that now.

She sighed, allowing her mind to drift to precious moments in her life. Clearly she remembered the sweetness of her first lover, the pride of her graduation from high school, the resilience of struggling in the civil rights movement of the Deep South, the joy and beauty of her simple wedding, the strength it took to bear her only child, the dedication of raising a son she was proud of. She could almost feel the pure pleasure of sitting at his wedding to Reena, and the happiness on the day of the birth of the twins. The soul-searing pain of the death of her son and his wife, whom she loved as a daughter, still affected her deeply. But she left with many wonderful years spent raising her boys.

Her life played like a movie before her eyes. Moments of laughter or crying as she reviewed what she considered to be a long and fruitful life. She had done everything she was set on this earth to do. She had no complaints.

Her time had come.

She breathed deeply, wincing at the sudden sharp stiffness of her neck. Slowly the monitor showed her blood pressure decline and her heart rate increase. The alarm sounded at the nursing station that her vitals were nearing a danger zone.

But even before they reached her and attempted to revive her, Lil smiled in death and felt her spirit lift to the heavens.

∞

Would life ever be the same without her? Already it seemed the sun was not as bright and the flowers had lost their fragrance. Everything was dull and lifeless. Everything was different, and it would never be quite the same again.

Chloe reached across the seat of the truck to take Devon’s hand in hers as he drove home. She saw the grief and misery on his face. Would his pain ever go away? Would hers? She worried because, unlike Deshawn, he had not yet cried, not even when the doctor first came and told them that she suffered another rupture of the aneurysm before they could repair it, leading to the last fatal stroke.

She glanced over at him. It wasn’t healthy to hold emotions in like that, was it? “Devon,” Chloe began, not quite sure what to say.

Chloe just fell silent. She felt useless. She didn’t even know what to tell him to make his grief lessen. But she was in pain as well. She had hoped never to feel the death of another person so close to her. Would they ever be able to get through it all?

∞

Devon was numb. His body felt outside of itself. He moved through the motions like a robot. This had to be one of the worst days of his life. Nana Lil was gone.

No more wisdom and love, hugs and reprimands. All of it, her bluntness, her humor, her kindness ... it was all gone.

Chloe reached for his hand, and he felt comfort but was still distanced from everything. He felt like he was watching his own life play before his eyes, trying desperately to push the STOP or PAUSE button to make this horrible scene disappear. But that was impossible.

∞

He pulled the truck into Chloe’s yard, and she gasped in surprise. “Oh my God.”

Chloe got out of the truck, her mouth ajar in wonder. Who knew her front yard could look so beautiful? It was truly breathtaking. On both sides of the paved driveway were elegant lampposts surrounded by a climbing vine of clematis of the deepest purple blooms. Golden black-eyed Susans and pink coneflowers adorned the middle, and lush pachysandra evergreen ground cover surrounded the base.

The walkways, patio and driveway were complete and lined with square flower planters that perfectly matched the shutters of the house and were filled with beacon silver ground cover. Its striking white leaves had green margins that glowed. In between the boxes were ground lights that lit the walkway and helped the foliage gleam.

Corner gardens were on both sides of the house, made up of pink hydrangea, icy blue dwarf lilies, golden daylilies and lewisias in shades of salmon, apricot and plum.

It was all so beautiful and perfect with many more years of growth and blossoming to come and make it even better. If only winter wasn't so near, causing the blooms to fade. Chloe’s eyes filled with tears and her heart swelled at the beauty of the landscape, but mostly because of the thoughtfulness and hard work that had gone into creating it.

Love built this garden, and she knew that.

Devon’s footsteps crunched against the gravel and she turned to face him, a questioning look in her eyes. “It’s all so glorious, Devon. Who did all of this?”

He held her suitcase easily in one hand as he looked down at her. Pain flickered in the depths; before the obsidian pools became dull again. He nodded, “Nana Lil and I worked on it together. She wanted it to look nice for when . . . you came back.”

Devon cleared his throat, moving to walk past Chloe to climb the porch steps. “You’re probably tired and want to get settled in.”

“Devon,” Chloe said softly. “She was right. I was coming back. I just wish you would believe that, especially at a time like this when we need each other. I don’t want to go through this without you by my side.”

He paused on the last step, his foot almost suspended in air. “Chloe, don’t do this ... not now.”

“You’re right,” she said, pain knifing her stomach. “I’m sorry.”

She doubted the time would ever come for them to be together. There always seemed to be an obstacle in their path to happiness. Frankly she didn’t know if she had the will or the strength to fight for it anymore, especially after the way he hurt her when he left New York almost three months ago. But not once during that time did her love fade for him. She couldn’t stop caring for him, even when she tried.

There was nothing more she wanted in the world than to be in his arms and hear him say—

No!
This wasn’t healthy. No matter how much she dreamed for something, that wouldn’t make it so. She couldn’t make Devon love her.

Chloe took a deep breath to steady her nerves, but as she looked at the stillness of his back as he entered the house, she saw the beauty of the garden and thought of the returning of one of God’s angels to heaven. All of it overwhelmed her.
I refuse to cry,
she thought, wrapping her arms around herself and closing her eyes against a wave of pain.

When she opened them again, Devon was stepping back out onto the porch. She looked up at him, praying the desperation she felt was not in the depths of her eyes. But he could read the depths surely
“Please Devon don’t leave me alone to deal with this”
would be seen.

“I sat the suitcase in the foyer,” he said, moving down the steps with controlled movements. “I’m going to head on home. Deshawn and I have to start making calls.”

Chloe nodded, keeping her arms around herself. “Just call if there’s anything I can do."

Like letting me love you, Devon.

“I’ll let you know when the arrangements for the wake and funeral are made. There’ll be a setting up at the house once the town learns about . . . about, uh . . . it.”

She could tell how difficult it was for him to even say that his precious grandmother had passed on. “Devon—”

“I’ll talk to you later, Chloe.”

She bit her lip, turning to watch him as he climbed into the truck and backed out of the yard. Would they ever be on the same wavelength in this game called love?

No mother, no grandparents, a deadbeat father, a best friend a thousand miles away, Nana Lil gone over to the other side, and no Devon. She felt hollow inside.

Chloe climbed the steps into the house, closing the front doors behind her. A wave of pleasure filled her at the familiar scent and sight of her home. This was where she was meant to be. Well, here
and
in Devon’s arms.

She looked back out the window to the garden he had planted for her. He flew to New York after she told him and the world that she missed him. He broke his friendship with Alicia for her. Never would she forget the look in his eyes at the hospital when he first saw her standing next to the taxi.

It had been the look of—

Chloe’s heart raced as she clearly remembered his eyes that night. Frantically she looked through her purse for the keys to her Navigator. She
had
to tell Devon that she loved him. She could not explain why, but something deep inside of her said to tell him.

With victory, she found her keys and raced out the door to find her man.

∞

Devon drove slowly, his thoughts filled with all the day’s events. His Nana was gone. When he went inside the house tonight, she wouldn’t be there. The house would never be the same again. His life would never be the same again.

Chloe had come. When he needed her the most she had been there, appearing suddenly as if she were his own guardian angel. And she suffered to help him through this horrible grieving he would have to deal with. What did he do?

Distance himself, afraid he would tell her just how much he loved her, pull her into his arms and not let her go . . . ever.

When he first started work on the garden at her house it was a way for him to express the deep love he had for her. Nana Lil had said, after she joined him in the planting, that Chloe would love it when she returned. She had always been so sure that Chloe was coming back home, when he had nothing but doubts.

And now here she was, as beautiful as ever and back in Holtsville, but for how long? If only he could force her to stay and never leave. If only he could force her to love him the way he loved her, deeply and passionately with no remorse.

He thought of the look in her eyes when she came to the hospital, stood before him and pulled him into a tight comforting embrace. It had immediately warmed and soothed him. A look of—

Devon slammed on the brakes, his mouth ajar as he made a very sweet and indulging discovery. But was he wrong? He had to know.

There was only one way. He had to tell Chloe he loved her. Lord knows why, but he suddenly had the courage he lacked all these months to do just that.

The tires squealed against the pavement as he did a wicked U-turn and headed back to his woman.

∞

It was déjà vu. Just like their very first meeting. As they both raced down the road in opposite directions, their vehicles almost collided, both having to brake with a loud deafening squeal of tires. Almost as if by miracle, they stopped directly across from each other. They both jumped out of the cars and came to stand in front of one another.

They both swore they could hear the electricity crackle between them, just like their first meeting in this very same road, but there also was the sweet refrains of love this time. Clearly the emotion showed in each of their faces as Devon pulled her into his arms, and kissed her with enough passion to spread love across the world.

“Chloe . . . I . . .”

“Devon, baby I . . .”

They both spoke in unison, after they slowly broke the kiss, the words blended together in perfect harmony as they looked deeply into each other’s eyes. “I love you.”

∞

"Now you know, I can get real used to this. I did more good up here in heaven to get them two together than I did down there with them.”

Nana Lil smiled down on them from the heavens above. “Don’t you worry, babies, your Nana will be with you always," she said softly.

She had found her own happiness on the other side as she reunited with family members and friends long since passed. Never had she known such joy as when she was again in the arms of her beloved mother. She felt whole as she then embraced her own son and daughter-in-law. But there was one person she had yet to greet and that was her next mission . . . meeting Adell Bolton.

∞

Devon caressed the side of her beautiful face where they stood embraced in the middle of the road. “Chloe, I never knew when you came into my life that you were the woman who would make me whole, who would fill so many needs that I didn’t even know I had. I’ve been a fool, afraid of my own feelings and still believing the worst of you. I love you from the very depths of my soul and I do not, no I will not live my life without you any longer. Say you’ll grow old with me as my wife.”

Chloe’s knees buckled. She was so overwhelmed that this strong, brooding man loved her just as much as she loved him. Did anyone deserve such happiness? And now he wanted to share his life with her. “I have loved you since before I was willing to admit that I did. I don’t want to ever go through what I’ve gone through these past three months. I have missed you until I ached. I’m sorry for whatever part I played in keeping us apart. We were meant to be. I love you so very much, Devon. I would be very honored to grow old with you, in Holtsville.”

“Nana Lil would be so happy, I just . . . wish she was here.”

His saddened voice hurt her as she wrapped him into a tight embrace. Soon she felt the dampness of his tears soak her neck. Gently she kissed his cheek. “She’s here. You may not see her, but you can feel her in the wind blowing across your cheek, or the sun warming your body, or in the very air you breathe to survive. She’s all around us. Nana Lil would never leave any of us all alone.”