Adventures in the Screen Trade (43 page)

CREDITS COME TO AN END.

CUT TO

INSIDE THE SHOP as the overhead bell on the door squawks. WILLIE steps in, shuts the door. The bell squawks again.

We are a long way fron the world of Vidal Sassoon. the shop is small, a few benches and some magazines piled an a couple of tables. Two barber chairs two sinks, calen- dars with photographs on the walls.

Seated in a corner, his hands fold in his lap, is a MAN. He stands now, and as he does -

CUT TO

MR. BIMBAUM, CLOSE UP. Small, aging, ageless. He wears a rumpled suit; even if it came directly from the dry cleaners, it would still look rumpled on him. He's a little paunchy now, and he was never Tyrone Power, But his eyes are bright. When Mr. Bimbauni stares at you. It is very hard not to look away,

CUT TO WILLIE, hopping into the nearest chair.

WILLIE

Okay. let's get it going, I'm destroying Porky McKee.

Now this geyser of information bursts from him; as he speaks, he points quickly to various drawers and shelves.

Shears are there, clippers are there, razors there, towels there, shampoo's there-

BIMBAUM hasn't moved-what he seems to be doing is just staring at MLLIE' s head.

BIMBAUM An expert, huh?

WILLIE

Whenever my father hires anybody, I get to be the guinea pig, so. . . (now he stops, a bit confused as we)

CUT TO

BIMBAUM, advancing slowly toward the chair, his eyes fixated on WILLIE's head. Ho walks around it alowly, bends down, looks up at it, stands on tiptoe, looks down.

CUT TO

WILLIE, watching the old guy.

WILLIE What 're you doing?

BIMBAUM makes no reply. He places his hands on MILLIE'S head, fingers wide apart.

Something wrong?

CUT TO

BIMBAUM. Again no answer. He is concentrating deeply. Now he takes his hands from WILLIE's head, makes an imaginary replica of it in the air.

BIMBAUM

finally nods to himself, says one word) Spherical.

WILLIE Hub?

BIMBAUM Head shape spherical.

CUT TO

THE SINK, as BIMBAUM turns on the spigots, adjusts them to his liking.

BIMBAUM Name? WILLIE

(watching as Bimbaum takes a barber's cape, pulls it over hia chest) Willie.

(as Bimbaum knots the cape behind his neck) Name?

BIMBAUM H.Bimbaum.

And on that piece of information-

CUT TO

WILLIE, and he can't help it, he just breaks out laugh- ing.

BIMBAUM That is funny why?

WILLIE (trying for control]

Well . . . It's just- I mean, if the "H" is worse than the "Bimbaum" it must be a really horrible name. (and he laughs again)

CUT TO

BIMBAUM. Thoughtfully, he stands there, and when WIL- LIE's laughter is done, he swats the kid on top of the head.

WILLIE

That hurt.

BIMBAUM Was supposed to.

He goes to the sink now, gestures for WILLIE to bend for- ward. He looks at WILLIE's hair a moment, shakes his head.

Some butcher gave you your last haircut.

CUT TO WILLIE. Looks up.

WILLIE Yeah?

(and he points to the other bar- ber's chair) Well. my father gave it to me.

CUT TO

BIMBAUM. He leans in TOWARD THE CAMERA, speaks very distinctly.

BIMBAUM

Then your father is a butcher. . . .

And with that, he reaches for some shampoo as we

CUT TO

SOMETHING SILVER IN EXTREME CLOSE UP.

HOLD ON IT. We don't know what it is, but that's okay, we're not going to stay on it forever- -now there seem to be two slivers of silver and they're at right angles to each other as wo

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

BIMBAUM'S SCISSORS. He holds it up to the light, studies it a moment, concentrating deeply.

CUT TO

WILLIE, watching the OLD GUY, not knowing quite what to make of it.

CUT TO

THE SHOP, and as BIMBAUM's soissors catch the light, it seems for an instant as if the walls and ceiling are filled with dots of brightness, a shower of sparkling dots and

CUT TO

BIMBAUM, as now, still holding the scissors, he works the blades-they make a rhythm-snip-snip-snip.

CUT TO

WILLIE, watching, as BIMBAUM makes the rhythm again-- snip-saip-snip. It's the same rhythm as the start of the first three notes of "Jingle Bells," and under his breath WILLIE, almost without knowing it, hums that tune. "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. .."

CUT TO

BIMBAUM. as he moves close to WILLIE now, the scissors continuing their snipping sound, and he takes some hair between his long beautiful fingers, gradually moves the fingers down to just the tips of the hair. makes a first snip and

CUT TO

A few tiny bits of hair fallig and

CUT TO

BIMBAUM, moving around the chair, making another almost imperceptible snip and

CUT TO

WILLIE, shifting in the chair, getting comfortable and

CUT TO

BIMBAUM in motion, another snip, another and

CUTTO

MORE HAIR FALLING, Just the smallest amount imaginable, and

CUT TO THE SCISSORS, snip-snip-snip, and

CUT TO

WILLIE, relaxing, humming ''Jingle Bells." and

CUT TO

THE WALLS as the bright dots dance and

CUT TO

WILLIE watching the dots-there's a calendar on the wall of a beautiful springtime abot of a river and rocks and grass and great green trees, and as the dots move across the scene-

CUT TO

BIMBAUM'S EYES-"-bright, and as he moves gracefully around the chair-

CUT TO

MORE SNIPPETS OF HAIR falling away and

CUT TO

WILLIE, deeply relaxed now, a kind of daydreamy look on his face and we

CUT TO

THE SCHOOLYARD, only it's all kind of hazy and WILLIE is aiming his shooting marble at another marble an impossible distance away, and PORKY is waving his arms, try- ing to distract him, and a CROWD OF PEOPLE watches as WILLIE casually shoots his marble and it flies through the air and bingo-a perfect hit and the CROWD is amazed and

CUT TO

THE DOTS, continuing their dance as 'Bimbaum's Theme' ' begins again, lilting and lovely and

CUT TO

THE SCHOOLYARD again, again kind of hazy, and the CROWD is bigger and WILLIE has to make an even more impossible shot, the marble is much too far away to hit, and as PORKY stands there WILLIE moves his arm behind his back and does the shot that way and again-bingo, another per- fect hit and this time PORKY Is amazed, too, along with the CROWD, which ia much bigger now, and they start to clap and WILLIE modestly acknowledges their admiration as PORKY walks over to him, carrying a gigantic golden trophy that is inscribed "Champion of the Known World, ' ' and he hands it to WILLIE, who graciously accepts it, bows to the CROWD, which is huge now. and they shake their heads in wonder as they continue to clap away and

CUT TO

BIMBAUM, fierce in his conoontration now, his beautiful fingers always moving, his silver scissors snipping away and CUT TO

WILLIE, eyes starting to close as he looks at the calendar photo of the river and the trees and "Bimbaum's Theme' ' is louder than before, louder and more beautiful and

CUT TO

THE CALENDAR PHOTOGRAPH OF THE RIVER, only now the river starts to flow, aod the sound of the water foamiog around the rooks begins to build-and now the great trees start to bend in a spring wind, and that sound, the wind sound, joins the rush of the water, and it's so lovely, so perfect and lovely, all you want to do is lie down by the water's edge in the thick grass and stare at the blue sky with the white clouds and the giant green trees gracefully moving as the wind passes through and

HOLD ON THE FLOWING RIVER. And the trees and the sky as "Bimbaum's Theme' reaches a climax-

CUT SHARPLY TO THE BELL ABOVE THE BARBERSHOP DOOR as MORRIS enters.

MORRIS Done?

CUT TO BIMBAUM. floating the cape away from WILLIE's body.

BIMBAUM Done.

CUT TO

MORRIS. He glances at WILLIE, moves to BIMBAUM, who stands by the sink. (We haven't seen MILLIE yet-not clearly. We don't know what he looks like.)

MORRIS

The haircut is maybe a trifle close.

BIMBAUM snorts, turns away. puts the shampoo back.

As I said, atrifle close--but otherwise acceptable. Biabaum-you got & job.

And on that- CUT TO

WILLIE out the door and gone and now A SERIES OF QUICK CUTS-

but not of WILLIE, of his shadow as he retraces his steps back to the marble game- -the bearded up movie house as the shadow flits by- -the shadow racing across the town square- -now the railroad tracks as the shadow pauses, darts across- -faster than before, the shadow races up the bill and now-

CUT TO

PORKY McKEE alone at the schoolyard. PORKY is playing a game of Big Pot by himself, carefully shooting marbles out of a large chalked circle.

MILLIE'S VOICE (OVER) (coming closer) Prepare to die.

PORKY says nothing. He is clearly steamed about some- thing.

C'mon, let's go, hurry it up. PORKY

Don't tell me hurry-you've been gone al- most two hours- (and he points off-)

CUT TO

A CLOCK high on the wall of the school. It reads almost five o'clock.

CUT TO PORKY. Cotinues to shoot marbles. Angry as hell.

PORKY

It was maybe three when you left.

(louder)

I think it stinks, disappearing like that-

And now, as he turns, looks up at WILLIE--

CUT TO

PORKY. CLOSE UP. And the anger goes, replaced by surprise.

PORKY (soft) Willie. . .that's a beautiful hair cut.

And now, at last-

CUT TO

WILLIE, and what PORKY saya is true: The scruffy figure that left the playground two hours ago has been replaced by a great-looking kid.

WILLIE ...it is? , . .

CUT TO

PORKY. He makes a nod. CUT TO

PORKY You look fantastic.

CUT TO

A SCHOOL WINDOW as WILLIE takes a long look at himself, PORKY reflected alongside. There is a pause, then-

WILLIE (a little nod) I guess I do. . . .

Now, from the TWO of them reflected in the window- CUT TO

THE TWO OF THEM jogging home. dusk. The street is lined with ordinary-looking houses. PORKY waves, veers off into one. WILLIE waves back, heada for the next. He slows aa he approaches it, reaches into a pocket, takes out a small harmonica. He tries playing "Jingle Bells," doesn't do it very well, shrugs, throws open the back door, and we

CUT TO CHUNKS OF CARROTS being plopped into a large pot of thick, bubbling stew.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

THE KITCHEN as MILLIE enters. His mother, EMMA, is working the stove like Toscanini, moving from burner to oven and back. She's a slightly pudgy woman, probably the same age as her husband-mid-forties.

EMMA

(stirring the stew) How's the new one?

WILLIE

(moving close, turning for inspection) Take a peek.

EMMA (delighted) Look at the glamour boy.

WILLIE His name's H. Binbaum-

EMMA -nice name-

WILLIE -father's already hired him.

CUT TO

EMMA, pulling open the oven a apeck, checking on the progress of some freshly baked bread.

EMMA

Naturally. The man is obviously a craftsman.

CUT TO MILLIE. His voice going soft.

WILLIE

You want to know what he said about Fa- ther? He said Father was a butcher.

EMMA (shrugs)

That's strong language-your father isn't exactly a butcher-but he isn't a craftsman either.

There is the sound now of the front door opening and closing.

MORRIS'S VOICE f OVER) Everybody is whore?

EMMA (calling out) Give a guess.

CUT TO

MORRIS actually bounding into the kitchen--he seams very excited.

MORRIS

Ho-ho, have I get a surprise- (now he gestures behind him)

CUT TO BIMBAUM, a small battered suitcase In hand, standing behind MORRIS.

MORRIS

-Bimbaum here is going to rent the spare room, meals extra. Binbaum, my wife,

They nod.

EMMA

You gave my Willie here a fine cut.

BIMBAUM Of course; where's my room?

EMMA

(points toward the back stairs) Where ' s your luggage?

BIMBAUM holds up his small bag.

That 's all?

BIMBAUM

What am I, a fairy princess who needs a ball gown? I'm a barber. A barber needs a few clothes and a bunch of scissors. What more luggage?

EMMA

Willie will show you the room.

BIMBAUM

This place is so big I can't find it my- self?

(he goes to the back ataira) If I get lost, I promise to holier for help.

CUT TO EMMA, staring as he disappears. Now she turns on MORRIS.

EMMA

Ho-ho, some surprise: since when do we run a boarding house?

MORRIS

Since when do you object to a little extra money-business ain't so hot.

EMMA

Business is the same as always-and that man got the manners of a pig.

MORRIS

Maybe ho ain't sociable, but, Emma, you should see him out hair.

CUT TO MORRIS, going to her now, taking her handa.

MORRIS This afternoon, he did Mr. Dietrich, the postman, the one with a head like a nose. In ninety minutes, Mr. Dietrich was cute. The man's an artist, Brnna, a real artist. Where else should he live?

EMMA hesitates, then takes a big wooden spoon, digs out a chunk of beef, gives it to MORRIS.

MORRIS

(eating the peace offering) Perfection. . . .

HOLD ON the TWO of them, then- CUT TO

A PORCH OUTSIDE THE LIVING ROOM. MLLIE and PORKY are playing checkers. Some time has passed-WILME's hair is longer than before. It's night. EMMA joins then.

EMMA (sinking into a chair) I couldn't take anymore.

WILLiE They still at itf (he turns, looks inside-)

CUT TO

THE LIVING ROOM. BIMBAUM and MORRIS are visible-MORRIS watching as BIMBAUM moves his scissors through the air, as if demonstrating something. MORRIS is studying everything BIMBAUM does.

CUT TO

THE PORCH.