Aeralis (5 page)

“We still keep our own customs,” he continued. “We have pitched our tents at the far end of the Compound land, far from this place. With our ability to escape harm from the Mechs, some of us can hunt freely at night.”

I nodded. We’d shared the serum that kept the Watchers—or Mechs, as Stone called them—at bay with those of the Wanderers’ tribe who’d joined us in the liberation of Iceliss. It had been necessary for our plot to work, as all the people present in the village square had to be able to repel the Watchers and drive them toward the Farthers instead. It was also how we’d convinced them to help us in the first place. Now, anyone whose blood carried the serum could walk the Frost freely.

“Do you go to Iceliss now?” I asked.

Stone’s expression shuttered. “Unfortunately, yes. I must obtain goods there. I bring furs to trade.”

“Unfortunately?”

“We are not always welcome,” he said shortly.

I remembered the conflict yesterday in the village, and the angry words aimed at “outsiders.” I flinched.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You are always welcome in my house,” I said.

His eyes were dark as they held mine. “And you, Lia Weaver, are always welcome in our camp. If you ever need anything, ask me.”

We parted, and I headed for the former Mayor’s house. Adam’s new mission. Jonn’s health. The letter from my mother.

I found Ivy in the bedroom when I opened the door. She sat on the bed, running her fingers over the edge of the quilt absentmindedly. I recognized it as my mother’s Frost quilt, a piece cunningly woven as a map that depicted key places in our land, including Iceliss and other ancient ruins.

“I spoke to Jonn,” she said, without turning around.

I let the door shut behind me. I drifted to the side of the bed but didn’t sit.

“And?”

She lowered her head. Her fingers continued to stroke the quilt determinedly, as if the fabric were in need of soothing.

“He said you told him he was dying.”

I sighed. I wouldn’t deny it.

Ivy’s face creased with anger. “He would hardly speak to me. He stared at the wall and mumbled answers. How could you upset him at a time like this?”

“Upset him? I told him the truth. He needed to know.”

Ivy snorted. “Don’t try to make your motives out to be so selfless and moral. You were angry with him.”

“Aren’t you? He did this to himself! He infected himself on purpose, Ivy, and now he’s dying! He’s leaving us, just like...” Like everyone else always did. But I didn’t say that. It was too painful.

“He infected himself?”

“Yes! He tricked me into bringing the Sickness back in a box, and he made himself sick to try to cure his crooked leg and his seizures. And now he’s dying.”

My sister was silent for a long time. “He has lost all hope, Lia. I think maybe you know what that feels like.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never done what he’s done. I can’t simply accept what he did and move on without feeling angry.”

“Not everyone is you,” she said quietly. “We don’t all have your strength, your stamina.” The words were an accusation, and they left me feeling tired and alone.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ve been harsh. I...” I couldn’t continue the sentence, so I stopped.

Ivy reached out one hand and squeezed my fingers. There was an eloquence to her silence. Slowly, like falling asleep, I leaned my head on her shoulder. She cried, the tears dripping onto my neck, and I sat motionless and absorbed her grief as I stared at the bureau and thought about the letter inside it.

When should I tell her what I’d discovered?

Should
I tell her?

At the moment, introducing more questions into my family’s life was the last thing I wanted to do.

Instead of reaching for the drawer, I put both arms around Ivy. Hesitantly, I patted her back, and she gripped me with both hands and sobbed.

In the end, I didn’t say anything about the letter. I didn’t say anything at all.

FIVE

ADAM AND I sat before a flickering fire burning in the grate of the Mayor’s parlor. Darkness swathed the house, and all the other rooms were quiet. Everyone else slept. I sat cross-legged on the ground in the middle of the rug, just close enough to the fire to feel the warmth on my face. Adam faced me, his back to the wall and his hands on his knees. He was a picture of patience, like a predator waiting in the forest for its prey. His eyes tracked my nervous hand movements, and he didn’t speak as I poured out my worries and objections about his mission to Aeralis and my duties as I remained behind.

“The villagers are restless and angry. They’re hearing rumors about the Sickness. They’re uncertain about the Wanderers. It seems unwise for most of the agents to leave at this time. I...I just don’t know if I trust the Trio’s judgment in this,” I finished.

Adam’s expression was unreadable. “You are not required to continue serving as a Thorns operative now that the Frost has been liberated,” he said. “The resulting new government—what system you have in place now—is friendly to our cause, and we have no need for secrecy here. We can work as allies with the Frost dwellers. You may be freed from your oath, if you wish.”

You may be freed from your oath
.

Was that what he wanted? Was that what
I
wanted?

I’d never found being a member of the Thorns oppressive. But now that our struggles here were of a different sort, perhaps it was time for me to withdraw myself. However, I still believed in their cause. I still wanted to be a part of it. I shook my head.

“I still want to help.”

Adam didn’t smile, but the muscles around his eyes and mouth relaxed. He’d been worried? Did he think I would part from the Thorns so easily?

“What about you?” I asked.

His eyes darkened into some emotion I couldn’t read. “I cannot untangle myself so easily. Nor do I wish to. I have other objectives yet to be achieved.”

“So you’re going to leave.” As I spoke the words, a hard lump formed in the pit of my stomach. I felt sick.

“Yes.” He looked away, at the fire, and his eyelashes flickered. I couldn’t tell what he thought about it.

“How can the Trio expect you to integrate into Aeralian society if you go to Astralux to aid the rebellion there?” I demanded. “Where will you stay? You have no money, no connections. What do the Thorns want from you? Magic? This is madness.”

“The Thorns have operatives in Astralux,” he said quietly after a while. “I am not without connections. And there are Korr and Gabe.”

My heart jumped at the mention of Gabe. “I’m not sure how useful those two will be.”

“I think we could come to an arrangement if necessary.”

An arrangement.

“Do you trust them?”

He shrugged gracefully. He wore an unreadable expression.

“What kind of arrangement?” I asked.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “We’ve already had at least one of our operatives spend some time in Astralux.”

“You?”

He smiled faintly. “Yes, but an intimate knowledge of the walls of a prison cell is hardly useful in this instance. No, I was thinking of another operative who could accompany me and help me integrate into Aeralian society.”

“
Ann
?”

He nodded.

Indignation rushed over me in a hot wave. “I don’t...How could you ask her to...?” I stopped, overwhelmed by my objections. My friend had already gone through so much. She’d spent months in captivity there. And now he wanted her to return?

“Think about it,” Adam said. “She has all the connections. She knows the city somewhat, she and Korr have an understanding of sorts, and she and her father were recently expelled from Iceliss.”

“An understanding,” I repeated. Is that what we would call it?

He tipped his head to one side, that maddening gesture that meant everything and nothing.

“And you? What are you supposed to be to her? Her brother? Her betrothed? Her servant?”

“Perhaps,” he said. “We haven’t arranged a story yet for me.”

We sat in silence a moment. He was contemplative; I was seething. I didn’t want to send Ann back into the sneering clutches of Korr.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly.

“What does Ann think?”

~

I’d expected her to refuse instantly when Adam told her his plan, or at least I’d expected her to rant at the injustice of being forced to endure Korr’s presence again, but she said nothing for a long time. She sat with her hands in her lap and her head down. Her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed, and then she raised her head and looked at Adam. Her eyes gleamed like stars, hard and bright. “I’ll go,” she said.

“What?” I demanded.

“I’ll go.”

Adam nodded, relief evident in the way he flicked his eyes to mine and the way his mouth curled ever so slightly at the corners. “I will speak with the Trio.”

“Perhaps you should take some time to consider—” I sputtered after he left.

“No,” she said. “I’m sure.”

“Ann,” I said. “They can’t make you do this. You’ve paid your debt to the Thorns. You can withdraw from the organization if you wish, and it’s safe enough for you to do so and simply stay here. Adam told me about it last night. Any of us could, if we wished.”

Ann stood and paced to one of the farmhouse windows. She pressed one hand to the glass. When she spoke, her breath fogged the pane. “I’m needed there, and I’m not needed here. I have no skills to aid the village during this time of transition. My quota was always a sham. I’m useless, and I’m not welcome here any longer.”

“You’re not useless,” I said firmly. “And the Frost is your home. You are always welcome in it.”

“I wish that were true. Maybe someday, if I do this, I will be.”

My eyes burned. She had sacrificed so much for us, and she was being driven away. I wanted to choke just thinking about it.

Ann reached out and touched my hand. “I want to go, Lia. I need to go.”

Her words did not reassure me. Instead, they filled me with dread.

~

That night, before another fire in the parlor of the former Mayor’s house, Adam explained the plan to me. Ann would accompany him by wagon into the Aeralian wilderness, where they’d meet a Thorns operative called Raven at a farmhouse across the border. There, they’d trade their Frost garments and wagon for Farther fare.

I listened to everything he said without comment, and when he’d finished, I stared into the flames.

“Lia,” Adam said gently. “She’ll be all right.”

“You’ll be working with Korr.”

“We’ve worked with him before.”

I sighed. “Yes, but—”

Adam studied my face. “Is this discomfort stemming from a concern for Ann or a distaste for Korr’s affection for her?”

I swallowed. I didn’t have an answer.

He reached for my hand. “I won’t tell you not to worry, but I will promise you that we’ll be careful and vigilant.”

I squeezed his fingers in thanks.

~

Adam and I walked the Frost together for what might be our final time. Icicles dripped on my cheeks, my hair. Flowers were unfolding against the melting ice. Green misted the distance. My cloak felt heavy and useless. Green growth had begun to push through the snow, and spots of color dotted the white landscape. Winter was fading.

But inside, I was a frozen block of numbness.

“After we meet the Thorns operative on the Aeralian plain, Ann will continue on alone to Korr’s house in Aeralis, and I will travel into Astralux via a different route, so our arrivals do not occur simultaneously and thus do not attract any undue notice,” he explained as we walked.

Visions of the too-wide Aeralian landscape, the waving grasses and the gaping sky, filled my mind and threatened to split me. I drew my imaginings back to the present and turned to him.

“Do you think anyone would be watching for your arrival?” I asked.

He paused a moment, brushing a branch away from his eyes before responding. His expression shifted as if he were remembering some long-ago incident that still caused him pain. “You’d be surprised.”

Aeralis. This was really happening. Pain splintered in my chest. I dragged in a lungful of snow-scented air and let it out before speaking. “And what about those you’re leaving here? What will you tell them? What should I tell them?”

“Ivy can know,” he said, his eyes searching mine. “Jonn, of course. But the rest, well, they cannot know about the mission. Let them think what they want. No one will be surprised to see Ann leave, so her actions will need little explanation.”

“You could pretend to move back into the Frost,” I said, looking around for something to focus on besides his face so he wouldn’t see the distress on mine. “Back to your farm.”

“Perhaps,” he said.

I drew in a string of short breaths. I would not ask him to stay again, but I ached to.

He reached out to touch me, but his hand stopped before his fingers brushed mine. “The Frost is still vulnerable. Our fledgling freedom could be dashed in an instant. We need stability. All of us. Even the Farthers. By going, I am protecting them.” He lowered his voice. “I’m protecting you.”

We stood there, surrounded by forest and feelings and thousands of words left unspoken, and my heart broke into a hundred pieces. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I turned and headed for the village. Adam let me go without following.

~

They left in the early dark of morning.

I joined Adam as he left the Mayor’s house to retrieve Ann. Our eyes met and I sighed quietly; he nodded. Together, we descended the steps of the house and headed for the center of town. The silence between us was a world of words—he touched my hand just once, a graze of his fingers across my palm that sent tingles through my arm and to my heart, a gesture of support and affection. I stepped closer to him, and he didn’t move away.

We passed through the village and reached the gate, flanked by steel reminders of our recent occupation. We entered the Cages, and the shadows still had the power to make me shudder as they flicked over my face and shoulders. I walked fast, my footsteps punctuating the hush of the Frost. Adam matched my pace without comment.