Afraid to Fly (Fearless #2) (39 page)

I
GAZED DOWN AT
the woman in my arms and prayed to the gods of heaven and earth that this wasn’t a dream.

Last night had been insane. Kami and Blaine got engaged in front of all their friends and family, and I’d made it my mission to win Raven back, even if I made a fool of myself. Even if she rejected me at every turn. Even if she had listened to all my fucked up, convoluted reasons why we shouldn’t be together, flicked me the bird and walked out of my life for good.

Why?

This right here.

Having her in my arms, her naked, perfect skin dewed with the remnants of sex and sweat. Getting to kiss her mouth, her neck, and her shoulders as she slept. Watching the glow of sunrise touch her paleness, causing it to warm under my touch.

I did it all for this. For her. Because I loved her more than I hated me. And because I loved her—really, truly loved her—I found that hating me wasn’t nearly as easy as it used to be. Because if this beautiful being could love someone like me, despite all the ways I’ve hurt her—past and present—and despite all the ways
I’ve
been hurt, then I couldn’t be all that bad. She saw something in me. She saw beyond all the exterior bullshit, the slick lines and cheesy anecdotes, and I became transparent in my feelings for her. And like I’d always believed, she captured the beauty . . . the beauty in
me.
The parts of me that had been buried so deep within my pain and loathing that I could no longer find it. I could no longer
feel
it.

Now, here we were, a tangled web of arms and legs and sex-mussed hair. And I’d never felt more alive, more loved, and
free.
Freer than I ever thought possible. Freer than people like me—and her, and even Toby—probably deserved.

Her love for me made me weightless. It made me daring. And every time I looked in her eyes, I felt the wind beneath my arms and the sun at my back. I tipped my head to the sky and tasted the sweetness in the air. And with her and Toby at my side, I
flew.

The End.

Or is it?

“
Y
OU’RE SURE ABOUT THIS?”

Raven looked at me with a smirk on her plump, kiss-ravaged lips. I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and my need for physical contact seemed to be amplified whenever she was around.

“I’m sure,” she nodded. “I appreciate that you’re worried about us, Dom, but I won’t let you take care of us. I am not a kept woman.”

Despite my better efforts to make her stay, Raven had insisted on going back to her apartment. I had already talked it over with Angel—there was plenty of room here for her and Toby. Ang had even agreed to tone down the wild antics. I guess we’d both been getting burnt out from the steady stream of faceless women that had once graced these hallways. Hell, the hardwood was damn near worn from so many walks-of-shame.

“You know it’s not like that,” I assured her, trying to pull her back into bed with me. God, I could never get enough of her. I was starting to think I was borderline addicted, itching like a fiend for my next fix of Melanie Raven West. She was my disease, and the cure to my ailing body and soul.

She looked at the watch on her slender wrist and cursed under her breath. “Shit, I gotta get to my shift. Tonight, ok? The three of us can watch movies. We might even spend the night. Depends on if you’re a good boy.”

I made a low noise in my throat that ended with a groan. “Good boy? I thought you liked me because I was trouble.”

She leaned forward to sweep her tongue across my lips, tasting my desperate need for her. “I
like
you, because you’re trouble. But I
love
you, because you’re
you.”

That was all the motivation I needed. With one swift movement, I grasped her by the waist, pulled her back into bed, and pinned her body under mine.

Five more minutes. Blaine would understand.

T
HEY WERE AT IT
again.

Well, I couldn’t
hear
them, or any gross crap like that—
ew
—but I knew what sex was, and I knew couples liked to do it.
Duh.
I just didn’t get
why.
Seemed totally sick to me.
Yuck.

But Mel was happy, and that made me happy. I knew it was difficult for her having to raise a kid alone, working day and night, plus finishing her nursing degree. She deserved to be with someone that made her smile. And I couldn’t think of anyone better than Mr. D. He was the best. And Mel only deserved the best.

Plus all her
“visits”
with him allowed me to play Xbox and PS4 whenever I wanted. We never had video games growing up—we couldn’t afford them after my dad left. So that was awesome. And…it meant I could see Angel.

God, she was gorgeous. Like, if I was ten years older, or she was ten years younger, I would totally want her to be my girlfriend. I’d never imagined I’d ever want that with someone, but I wanted that with her. It was stupid—I know. Even if she was my age, I couldn’t even freakin’ speak to ask her out. And who would want some head case like me? Not a freakin’ rock star.

But, for the sake of dreaming, maybe I would ask her. Maybe I
could
speak…for her. Or someone like her. Beautiful, and nice, and funny, and totally cool.

Mel had worked through her crazy to be with Dom, and I believed that no one else
but
him could break through to her. So maybe there was someone out there for me too? Someone to give me reason to swallow down my fear and sadness, open my mouth, and say…

“Hi. I’m Toby.”

I've always felt that writing acknowledgments was right up there with writing blurbs-hard as hell. Not because I'm not grateful-Lord knows I am. But because there is absolutely no way to sum up my gratitude into words that could ever express what my supporters mean to me. So yeah…acknowledgments suck. But the people in my life don't, so I'll do the best that I can.

I first want to thank Mia Sheridan, Emmy Montes and Rebecca Shea for making sure my ass was on point with capturing this emotional story. Thank you for being gentle and kind with Dom, and giving him a swift kick in the pants when needed. I love you all!

Thank you to the JFJ Girls for all your loyalty and support from the very beginning! Extra special love & hugs to Shanta, Louisa, Alicia, the Jennifers (Diaz & Noe), Andrea, Sandy, Holly, Martha and Sofia for all the shares and pimping. You girls are amazing!

I also want to thank my PR & Marketing team, Sassy Savvy Fabulous PR for all their hard work and dedication. Sharon and Melissa, you have been incredible, and I respect and appreciate everything you have done for me.

Big hugs to The Rock Stars of Romance for all their help in promoting Afraid to Fly. Lisa, you have been so professional and helpful. Thank you for all your hard work in giving ATF wings! And Milasy…what can I say, babe? I heart you more than salted caramel cookies, and I am so thankful for our friendship.

To my amazing editor, Tracey, who has been with me since FOF… Woman, we've done it again! Thank you so much for being such an important part of this process. I am so happy to have you on my side. And to Kara, my proofreader, I am so glad to have the chance to work with you! You're awesome, woman!

My formatter, Stacey, is incredible at what she does, and I am thankful to work with her once again. So glad to have met you! Hang Le, you are amazing and so crazy brilliant. Thank you! And to Regina, who has kicked ass with yet another unbelievable cover…Girl, your talent never ceases to amaze me! I love you!

I want to give HUGE props to Mo. Honestly, there is no amount of thanks I could give to properly encompass how much you mean to me. I am so grateful for all your dedication and friendship. And your hair. Because, let's face it-hair is important. #priorities

Thank you to all the wonderful readers, bloggers and reviewers who have supported me through this journey by sharing, posting and reading ATF. I could not do this without all of you!

Lastly, I want to thank my family for sticking it out through the craziness. When I set out to write ATF, I honestly didn't know what I was signing up for. And I absolutely love you guys with all my heart for having my back and loving me through all the chaos.

To anyone I may have missed, please chalk it up to my head and not my heart. It's the Friday night before release week and I'm literally running on fumes, coffee and liquor. Please believe that I am truly grateful for you all!

Xoxo,

-S

Most known for her starring role in a popular sitcom as a child, S.L. Jennings went on to earn her law degree from Harvard at the young age of 16. While studying for the bar exam and recording her debut hit album, she also won the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking invention of calorie-free wine. When she isn’t conquering the seas in her yacht or flying her Gulfstream, she likes to spin elaborate webs of lies and has even documented a few of these said falsehoods.

Some of S.L.’s devious lies:

FEAR OF FALLING
(a Fearless novel)