After Earth (3 page)

Or the guilt. I had no idea what was wrong, but could it have something to do with me waking the Ursa? Maybe the ship wasn't made to withstand the kind of violent thrashing that the giant beast had done when it caught my scent? Okay, that didn't make sense, not for a ship made to travel through space, but the timing of all this made me feel like I was being punished somehow, for stepping out of line.

And then I felt the impact. I saw wave after wave of asteroids strike the ship, tossing it around like it was a toy. I grabbed onto my seat as the entire ship shook. Muscles tensed, I braced myself. This was so much bigger than me, so much worse than I had imagined, that the guilt disappeared, replaced by pure survival instinct.

Alarms sounded throughout the ship as bigger and bigger asteroids pounded against the hull. We tipped dangerously from side to side and I gripped my seat even harder, feeling its edges bite into my palms.

“Caution. Critical hull damage,” blared the voice of the onboard computer. “Caution. Main power failure.”

All I could do was sit there, like my dad told me to, hoping that everything would be okay and trying not to completely freak out.

Something big hit the tail of the ship. Hard. It swung around wildly, knocking the breath out of me. Before I could recover, something bigger hit us even harder, shaking the whole ship again. I was starting to hyperventilate. It took everything I had not to unsnap my harness and run after my father. I wanted to feel like I was doing
something
. I hadn't felt this helpless since that day with Senshi: a little kid hiding while an Ursa tore through our apartment, my sister trying and failing to defeat it. I hunkered down in my seat while the captain tried and failed to keep asteroids from ripping our ship to pieces. Both times, I did nothing—except follow orders.

Another asteroid knocked us sideways, and I heard the screech and tearing of metal. That could only mean something major had broken. I had never been in a ship like this before, but even I knew that meant we were going to crash. No one screamed. Rangers are all trained better than that. But I think we all, in that moment, braced ourselves for the end.

And then a blinding white light flashed outside the windows. We rocketed forward, so fast that I was pinned back against my seat. At first I thought this was what death looked like, but then I remembered our science lesson on space travel. This was what my teacher said a wormhole was like. Someone—the pilot? My dad?—must've decided it was our best chance to reach a place we could land.

Suddenly, we burst into a peaceful stretch of winking stars. Through the window, I saw pieces flying off of our ship. This was not going to end well.

Then the navigator's voice came over the speakers. “Cabin pressure dropping, heavy damage to outer hull. Breach possible in middle cabin.” The Rangers sprang into action, doing their best to reinforce the cabin. I wanted to help, but my father—the Commander General—had ordered me to stay put. I didn't want to get in his way.

I gasped for breath, and a Ranger handed me an oxygen mask before exiting to the rear of the cabin. I was shaking with fear. This ship was going down and there was not one thing I could do to stop it, or to make sure I would survive when it did. I hated the thought of dying a Cadet and not a Ranger. I hated the thought of my mother losing another child. But it didn't matter how I felt. There was nothing I could do.

A blue-and-green planet appeared in the distance, and our ship careened toward it. We whooshed past a small space buoy, and its recorded message began playing on a loop: “Warning. This planet has been declared unfit for human habitation. Placed under Class-One Quarantine by the Interplanetary Authority. Under penalty of law, do not attempt to land. Repeat, do not attempt to land.” It played so many times that I had no trouble memorizing every word.

I heard the pilot shouting over the radio. “Mayday, Mayday, this is Hesper-Two-Niner-Niner heavy in distress! We took heavy damage from an asteroid storm and are going down with bingo power! Request immediate rescue, repeat, request immediate rescue!”

The main cabin shuddered so violently I thought it would break apart. I saw my dad steadying himself, his respirator face mask in place, as he made his way from the cockpit back to me. As bad as things were, I still felt relief wash over me. With my dad here, nothing could go wrong. He was Cypher Raige, the Original Ghost, Commander General of Nova Prime.

Despite the ship's shaking, all the Rangers were working to reinforce the bulkhead area as warning lights flashed above them. Their military training was obvious in every precise movement. But I found myself wondering if that would be enough.

I wanted to help, but my dad pressed his hand to my chest, keeping me in place. He helped me fasten my belt and harness, pulling them tight. I locked eyes with him, feeling the calm still radiating from him. I had no idea how he could remain calm. I wondered if this was how you ghosted, if this was the secret. And then my dad was slammed into the corner of the main cabin, and I finally released the scream I'd been holding back as he was tossed around like a rag doll. The squeal of splintering metal ripped through the cabin, and I clapped my hands over my ears to block it out. It didn't help. Our ship was being torn to shreds. Dad was whipped to the front of the ship and out of sight. I shouted for him, but the howling of the wind drowned out my voice.

Our ship broke in two. High-pressure air rushed into the cabin. The two halves of our ship fell away from each other. Twenty Rangers, still struggling to solder the ship back together, spun away with the rear section of the ship. The ship continued to break apart as we fell. I struggled to remain conscious, but the g-force was too much for me. Everything went black.

//////// ENTRY 5

W
hen I woke up, the world had tilted around me. Cords dangled from the ceiling at random angles. I heard the quiet hum of the ship's computers and, in the distance, a buzz that might have been insects. I tried to sit up but my double harness pulled me back. I fumbled with the buckles, finally managing to release them. Stumbling to my feet, I swayed in the aisle.

Then my training kicked in: assess your condition. I ran through my symptoms: dizzy, groggy, confused. I understood that I was in shock, but I didn't know how to snap myself out of it. I just knew I had to find my dad.

A few shafts of light sliced into the cabin through the passenger windows and the gaping hole where the rest of the ship used to be. Past where the ship now ended, I could see some kind of cavern outside.

My breath fogged my oxygen mask and I pulled it down around my neck, trying to get my bearings. I immediately gasped for air. A digital meter on my mask read
Low Oxygen: 15%. Caution
. I yanked the mask back on and took a deep gulp. Relief. I tightened my mask before heading down the aisle to see what else was left.

I saw a body tangled between the seats, too twisted to be alive. I stared in horror at the Ranger, but despite the tight knot of fear coiling in my stomach, I forced myself to keep going. I couldn't stay here. I had to find my dad.

Debris cluttered the aisle, and I did my best to avoid the sharp metal shards. Suddenly I heard a loud beep, followed by a bang and a buzz. I turned to see what it was as two sets of air lock doors began to close. They banged against a Ranger who lay lifeless between them. I saw that his arm was stuck, but the doors kept pushing against him, beeping and buzzing as they struggled to close. The computer's voice blared: “Remove obstruction. Remove obstruction.” I wanted to run, but I wanted the sounds to stop too. And I couldn't let the doors keep crashing into that Ranger. He deserved better. Making my way toward him, I nudged him past the doors with my foot until he was clear. He probably deserved better than that too, but it was the best I could do. I had never touched a dead body before. I couldn't handle anything more than that, not yet.

The doors slammed closed and the alarms stopped blaring. A suction sound followed, and air blew hard through the vents. “Repressurizing complete,” the computer announced. Now I could take off my mask.

Peering into an adjacent corridor, I spotted a hand that I immediately recognized as my dad's. I rushed over and pulled a piece of debris off of him. He lay on the ground, his legs pinned beneath a fragment of the ship. I struggled to lift it, but it was too heavy. Looking around for help, I saw a long metal rod that had fallen from the ceiling. Wedging it between the ground and the debris to make a lever, I pushed with all my strength. Finally, the large piece of metal lifted off of his legs. I edged it away until it tipped over away from my father, slamming into the floor so hard that the ship shook again.

As I knelt beside my dad, I was relieved to see his breath fogging his face mask—just a little, but better than nothing. I curled up on the floor beside him, watching for even the slightest movement. Maybe I was still in shock, because I couldn't seem to think of anything else to do. But my dad—my big, powerful, heroic dad—just lay there, motionless. I couldn't help it—I started to cry.

I tried to get control of myself, but I couldn't. Was I really going to have to watch my father die, just like I did with my sister? I didn't think I could go through that again.

I will never, ever, ever forget that day. I was playing Ranger in my room when the air raid siren ripped through the city. I ran to the window and looked down at the walkway two stories below, trying to see what was happening. My first thought was Ursa, but there had been other emergencies in our colony too. Then I saw Senshi, my sister, running through the crowd of people who were rushing back to their own apartments. I knew she was coming for me.

When she burst into my room, I was struck as always by how strong she looked, dressed in her rust-colored Ranger uniform, her cutlass in her hand. At nineteen, she was so much more grown up than eight-year-old me, but she never treated me like I was a baby. She was my hero, my best friend, the most amazing girl in the world—everything a big sister should be.

She shouted that we had to go. We heard a screech so awful it seemed like even the sound of it would tear me to shreds. I covered my ears, wanting to hide. I knew what that sound was without asking. It was an Ursa, and it was coming for us.

Senshi said the Skrel had surprised us, sending ships to drop those monsters on us again. There was supposed to be an early-warning system in place, but somehow the Skrel had found a way around it. I remember her asking if I was afraid. I tried to tell her I wasn't, but I couldn't fool her. I was terrified.

Another unearthly shriek tore through the air, even closer now. I scrambled beneath the hammock where I had always slept. Scooting into the corner to make room for my sister, I called out to her, thinking we could hide together until reinforcements arrived.

But of course, that was never an option. Not for my sister, not for any Ranger. Rangers are sworn to protect the planet, especially from Ursa. As I watched, Senshi spotted the glass greenhouse where I'd been growing plants beneath my window. She hit a button and the round container slid open. Attaching her cutlass to her back to keep it out of the way, she started yanking my plants out, scattering dirt, leaves, and roots until the box was completely empty. I still didn't understand what she was doing, but if destroying my indoor garden would somehow help us, I wasn't about to complain.

“Climb in here, okay?” she said, sliding the box toward me. As I crawled in, she explained that it would shield my scent from the Ursa. They are drawn to our fear, and I knew I was drenched in mine. I couldn't stop it, couldn't conceal it, couldn't ghost like our dad. I knew it, and so did she.

Once I was inside, she handed me the remote that controlled the lid. “You use this when I tell you to. Or when another Ranger tells you to. Other than that, don't come out. No matter what.” I opened my mouth to protest but she shook her head. “That's an order.”

It was a direct order from a Ranger. Everyone on Nova Prime knows you don't disobey those. From inside my glass box, I felt far away from my sister, so powerful with her cutlass strapped to her back, ready for battle. But then she leaned in, cupping my chin in her hand, her enormous brown eyes searching my face. “Did you hear what I said, little brother?”

Of course I did. I will never forget her words. They changed my life forever.

I saw the depth of feeling in her eyes, but her voice was as cool and sharp as her cutlass's blades, leaving no room for argument. Her eyes were my sister's, but her voice was a Ranger's. Another screech sliced through the room, so much closer this time, and she quickly sealed me in the case.

I watched as she stood and pulled the cutlass from her back. She tapped out a pattern on her weapon, the C-30 cutlass, and it morphed into a two-meter-long, double-ended, razor-sharp sword. Then I saw a hulking shadow pass across the wall to the next room. Senshi saw it too.

Spinning her cutlass in her hand, she crept into the other room. And there was the Ursa, directly in front of her. All I could see was the bottom of its muscular six-legged body as my sister advanced on it. I heard furniture crashing aside as the Ursa dodged her cutlass. She wielded her weapon like the natural fighter she was, but I never saw her connect. Then one of the beast's massive arms lashed out at her. She leapt into the air, pushing off the wall to escape, but the monster's next blow connected, throwing her across the room.

I clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming.

That thing was hurting my sister, and I wanted to stop it,
needed
to stop it. But as I tried to think of some way to help, fear held me frozen in place. Fear—and the thought of how angry Senshi would be if I disobeyed her orders, even if it was to try to save her. So I stayed hidden. Just a frightened little kid.

The creature pounced on her again, and I heard her cry out, “Dad,” in a voice so full of pain that it broke my heart. And that's when the anger began to well up in me too, because I couldn't save her but
he
could have. And where was he when we needed him most? Far away, saving other people I'm sure, but leaving his own children unprotected and alone.

I couldn't see her past the Ursa's massive body, but I heard its claws and teeth slashing and ripping. Finally the monster backed away, and I caught a glimpse of her lying still in the corner of the room. Shaking and sobbing, I fought to stay silent until the creature was gone.

My sister was dead, and I felt like I was dying too. Maybe I should have leapt to her defense, just to spare myself from living with the unbearable pain of watching her die. But I couldn't have done that to her. If there were one thing my sister would've wanted, however and whenever she died, it would be to know that her baby brother was safe. I know that for sure, because I knew her. I loved her more than anything—but she loved me even more. That was why she came here as soon as the Ursa landed, because if she could save one person in the world, it was me.

Senshi used to tuck me in at night, when Dad was away and Mom was working late. And when I couldn't sleep because I was afraid of monsters, she would say, “If an Ursa gets in here, it'll never have a chance to get you. I'll just walk right up to it and cut it down.” At least she had been right about the first half of that vow. She always promised to protect me, no matter what, and she had kept her promise—and I had let her.

I wish I had been older and stronger that day so I could have saved her. I replay the scene in my head at least once a day, trying to imagine how it could have gone differently. Maybe if I had snuck up on the beast, I could have killed it while it was trying to kill her. Sometimes that seems possible, and other times, I can see the monster whirling to kill me while my sister lay dying and can see the devastation that would've been in her eyes, knowing that she died for nothing because the Ursa got me too.

We would've made an unbelievable team someday—the two children of Cypher Raige, fighting Ursa side by side. I can see it so clearly even though we never got the chance. I miss her so, so much. And I know if anyone misses her as much as I do, it's my dad. But the thing that should have brought us even closer together drove us apart. She was his favorite, and I was just the one who let her die.