After Victory: A Searching for Glory Novel (A Second Chance Love Story) (8 page)

After staring blankly at the wall for several minutes, I found myself reaching for my phone. Since most of my friends had children that were still in diapers, I couldn’t depend on them for sage advice. Deep down, I knew that there was only one person I wanted to talk to right then anyway, and it wasn’t one of women I occasionally drank wine with while listening to them complain about their husbands.

Jake answered on the second ring and sounded so cheerful I almost changed my mind about canceling our date. My older sister would come sit with Denton if I asked her to, especially when I told her that I had plans with a man. But I didn’t feel right leaving Denton while he was so upset, even if it meant having him take his anger out on me.

I was secretly pleased when I heard the disappointment in Jake’s voice. At least I wasn’t the only one bummed about the last minute cancellation. When I explained why I had to beg off, Jake was understanding. It was nice to be dealing with a man that didn’t play games or get irritated that he wasn’t the most important person in my life.

We hung up after promises that the date would be rescheduled and assurances that Jake wasn’t upset by the last minute change of plans. Just talking to him had made me feel better and I decided to try to have a conversation with Denton. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t respond to my knock on his door. He probably had headphones blocking his ears from the world. I pushed open the door and was hit in the face by a blast of cold air. The bedroom window stood wide open.

“Denton, are you trying to freeze yourself to death?” I said, turning toward the corner of his room where he was usually seated in front of his video games. The television was off and Denton was gone.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Jake

I made my usual visit to Vic’s grave in the morning. Despite the cold, I stayed longer than usual. It took a while to fill her in on everything that had happened in the last week. I probably looked insane to the other cemetery visitors who were quietly placing flowers near the tombstones of their loved ones. My conversations with Vic’s marble stone were just as animated and vocal as they had been when she was alive. I had no idea if her spirit was hanging around listening to me babble, but that didn’t matter. The visits had always been more for me than for her.

“I talked to Glor this morning and she said Johnny is recovering more and more every hour. They actually got him sitting up a couple of hours ago.” I had carried on in excruciating detail because I was avoiding the next topic. I needed to tell her about my date. “Kate and I are supposed to go to an art exhibit tonight. She swears it will be fun, but you know how lame I am when it comes to that kind of thing. Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

I didn’t want to say those words. The truth was that I had been looking forward to our date since the moment she asked me to go. I looked forward to any time I got to spend with Kate. But when I glanced down, I caught the flash of the silver band on my ring finger. I hadn’t taken it off for even a moment in the last two years. How could I go on a date when I still considered myself a married man? How could I let someone into my heart when it still belonged to another woman?

“I think it could be good for me, Vic. She makes me happy and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.” I chuckled softly. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. You told me that you wanted me to move on before you were even gone. I think I’m just trying to convince myself.”

The marble stone was ice cold under my hand as I brushed away a light dusting of snow. It was strange how touching something so completely devoid of life could make me feel physically connected to my wife. “I’m scared to start something new. It will mean that I’m moving on and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.”

For so long I had been making excuses to everyone: the kids weren’t ready, I was too busy, I wasn’t interested in anyone. At first, all of those had been true. But now the only reason I hadn’t moved on was that I didn’t want to let go of Vic.

It took another ten minutes for me to find the strength to leave. Somehow it felt different this time even though I knew I would be back again the following Saturday. Before heading home, I stopped by the hospital to see how John was doing. Miraculously, Glory wasn’t there.

“Where’s the other patient?” I joked, glancing toward her empty chair.

“She went home to get some of my things,” he said in a scratchy voice. No doubt his throat was still raw from tube that had been shoved down it.

“Hair products?” I joked.

John looked significantly better than he had even the day before. He was sitting up, propped against three pillows. His bruises were finally starting to fade and his skin was no longer shockingly pale. Part of his scalp was still shaved though.

“Funny.” He didn’t bother faking a laugh.

“Glor told me you were doing better when I talked to her this morning. She didn’t tell me your sunny disposition had returned though.” I dodged a table full of cards and balloons to sit next to the bed. “Also, when did you make so many friends? I thought I was your only friend.”

He stared blankly at the table. “I think those are from Glory’s fans. One of those cards has a marriage proposal for her in case I don’t pull through.”

“Julia told me your accident was all over the internet. Though I believe you were named as Gloria Star’s baby daddy.” I studied John carefully, hoping to see a normal reaction from him. Normally he was quick with a smile or a roll of his eyes. So far his expression had been flat. I told myself it was probably because of the pain meds they were pumping into his system. “How’s the pain?”

“I wouldn’t know.” He eyed the I.V. that was plugged into his arm. “Everything is numb.”

“Numb?” I knew that the medication was strong, but it was surprising that he wasn’t having at least some pain. “I suppose that’s a good thing.”

His eyes grew dark as he turned in my direction. “Good? I can’t feel anything below my waist and you think that’s a good thing?”

“What?” Instinctively, I glanced at where his legs were covered by the thin hospital blanket.  Nothing moved below the surface. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Glory didn’t tell you?” His eyes narrowed dangerously.

I shrugged. “She told me you were doing better.”

“Better.” He scoffed and cast his eyes toward the IV that was still piping fluids into his body. “Glory is in denial.”

“The doctor never mentioned any spinal damage,” I said.

“It’s not my spine causing the problem.” He pointed to the bandage that still covered most of his head. “The bleeding and swelling in my brain has caused some temporary damage, or at least that’s what the doctor calls it. Too bad he has no idea how to fix it.”

It was unusual to see John so irritated. I had no idea what to say to him. Fortunately, Glory appeared in the doorway just in time to interrupt the awkwardness.

“It’s my two favorite men.” Her normally beautiful face looked strained. She forced a smile as she leaned down and kissed John’s cheek. “I’m surprised you didn’t convince Jake to help you escape while I was gone.”

“It would be a little hard to escape considering I can’t even move.” He gave her a look that I had never seen.

Glory was never one to wilt in the face of drama and she regarded him with open frustration. “If you’re looking for someone to feel sorry for you, it’s time you find a new fiancé.”

“The doctor said the paralysis is temporary, right?” I interjected, hoping to stop a fight before it could truly start.

“Yes. Once his brain heals, everything should go back to normal.” She shrugged out of her puffy winter coat and tossed it into an empty chair before leaning against the windowsill. “That could happen tomorrow, or a few months from now. There’s no way to know right now.”

I asked my next question after a lot of hesitation. “Is there any chance the paralysis could be permanent?”

John looked away, his eyes focused outside the window over Glory’s shoulder. Her eyes were focused on him, hovering between sadness and helplessness. “At this point, the doctor can’t rule out that possibility.”

Glory’s words stayed with me long after I left the hospital. For the last week, we had been so sure that everything would be okay if John would just open his eyes. Now he was sitting up and talking easily, but everything wasn’t okay. Even worse, there was no guarantee that things would be okay ever again.

I took the long way home, contemplating if I should tell the kids about John’s condition. They had already been through so much lately, I hated to cause them any more pain. But I knew that it wasn’t a secret I could hide from them. They were already asking when they would be able to see their Uncle John.

The early morning snow had faded away and the sun was shining brightly when I turned onto the gravel road that led to my old farmhouse. Vic had been a reluctant participant in my foray into farming. I had been drawn to the idea of living on the outskirts of town with acres of land to grow our life together. Vic would have preferred that we live in the heart of the town so that the kids could ride their bikes around the neighborhood and we could make grocery runs in less than ten minutes.

I gave up the farm just a couple of months after Vic passed. As a single parent to four kids, I couldn’t justify the time I spent working in the field. John had been quick to offer me a job at his shop and I was already good with cars. Now I had no real reason to keep the old farmhouse, but I couldn’t imagine selling it. This was the place where Vic and I had built our family. It was the place where she had spent her final days. It was our home.

Just as I turned off the engine, Kate called. I had been looking forward to our date all week so I was more than a little bummed when she had to cancel. As a parent, I appreciated what she was trying to do with Denton. I just wish she didn’t have to do it now.

The silence inside the house was deafening. For just a second, I worried that the kids had been kidnapped. Then I noticed a pie sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Grandma came by,” Julia said, gliding into the kitchen in a way that only teenager girls were able to move. “She was dropping off a pie and then decided to take the kids shopping.”

My mother lived an hour away. We used to see her for birthday and holidays, but she had been showing up more regularly since the funeral. I suspected that she doubted my ability to keep my children alive.

“The kids?” I smirked. “Last time I checked, you were one of my kids.”

“I don’t feel like a kid anymore,” Julia said, placing a dirty plate into the sink. “I think I stopped being a kid when Mom died.”

It pained me to hear the hollowness in her voice. “I’m sorry for that, kiddo. You’ve had to grow up too fast. And I’m sorry I’ve been relying on you so much lately with your siblings. It’s not fair for me to expect you to watch them all the time.”

“It’s okay.” She sat on one of the kitchen chairs, curling her knees to her chest. When she sat like that, I saw the little girl that used to sit in that same chair helping her mom bake cookies. That felt like a lifetime ago. “How’s Uncle John?”

I had already decided that I was going to tell her the truth, but I figured a little apple pie would help both of us digest the news. I cut two big slices and placed them on the table.

“His injury is pretty serious,” I said, after taking a bite. “He has some temporary paralysis and can’t move his legs.”

“He’s paralyzed?” Her eyes widened. “I thought you said he was going to be okay.”

“He will be okay. It’s just going to take a little while.” As was often the case when I looked at my oldest daughter, I felt a painful tightening in my chest. With each passing day, she looked more and more like her mother. “It’s been a while since you and I have been alone like this.”

She nodded, sending a cascade of blond hair over her face. “It’s nice.”

“How’s school?” I used to know every boring detail about my kids’ lives. As the years went by, I felt them slowly slipping away from me.

“School is fine. I have a big chemistry test on Monday.” Julia picked at her pie with one tong of her fork.

“How’s Grayson?” It took all of my strength not to make a face when I said his name.

She shrugged. “He’s busy with basketball. The regional game is tonight.”

“Right.” I vaguely remembered hearing her tell Glory that she was excited to cheer at the game. “Do you need a ride to the game?”

“No.” She took a tentative bite of a piece of apple. “The squad is meeting at the school and we’re riding together on the bus.”

I wished I had thought to grab a beer to enjoy with my pie. A little alcohol might help the next words come out of my mouth more easily. “Glory mentioned to me that the two of you had a chat. Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me what it was about. But I have a few guesses.”

“It’s nothing bad,” she said, her cheeks turning a vibrant red. “Just girl stuff.”

“I’m not trying to embarrass you, Jules. I want you to be able to talk to your aunt about stuff and not worry that she’s going to tell me.” I sighed. “But I also want you to know that you can come to me with things, too. I’m not as old and out of touch as you might think.”

“You are pretty old,” she said with a faint smirk.

She had a point. I said, “I’m only a few years older than Glory. And I was only a couple of years older than you when I became a father. I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world, but I want you to have a different path. I want you to go to college and travel and get a job that you love. Then, many, many, many years later, you can fall in love and get married.”

“I’m not going to get pregnant, Dad,” she said bluntly, sounding mature beyond her years. “Mom told me how it all works.”

“Yeah, well, I knew how it worked too and you still made an appearance a few years earlier than I would’ve liked.” I pulled her barely-touched piece of pie closer to me and scooped a big piece onto my fork. “I just want you to enjoy being a kid for a while longer. Your mom never got to do that and I see you headed down that same path. Part of that is my fault- I need to stop depending on you like an adult.”

“I don’t mind.” She tugged at a loose string on her sleeve. “I like helping you out. You don’t have to do everything yourself. We’re a family.”

“Maybe so, but I am the father and I order you to stop being so grown up.” I was rewarded with a smile that warmed my heart.

“Okay. If you say so, Dad.” She stood up in a hurry and came over to me. For the first time in many years, she curled into my lap and put her arms around my neck. “I love you.”

As a wave of emotion ran through every fiber of my being, I replied, “Sweet girl, I love you more than you will ever know.”

Julia left for the game not long after that. I couldn’t remember the last time I was alone in the house and wished that I had more time to enjoy it. Piles of laundry and a messy house took priority over relaxation. After I picked up the tenth pair of shoes, I reminded myself that one day the house would be empty for good and I would miss these days.