After Victory: A Searching for Glory Novel (A Second Chance Love Story) (9 page)

Then I started thinking about what my life would be like in ten years. I would only be in my mid-forties with four grown children. Heck, there was a good chance I would be a grandfather by then. At the rate I was going, there was a good chance I would still be alone, too. That was a sobering thought.

Perhaps if I hadn’t been on the verge of a panic attack, I might have thought better of my next move. Instead, in a daze, I grabbed my car keys and headed back into town. Spontaneity wasn’t exactly my strength, but I needed to mix things up a little bit if I didn’t want to keep on the same lonely path.

Kate answered the door a few seconds after I knocked. Seeing the frazzled expression on her face made me think that I had made a big mistake. She had said that she needed to stay home to keep an eye on Denton and I had thought maybe it would be okay if she had some company. Now I was worried that I had been too presumptuous.

“Kate, hey. Sorry to catch you by surprise like this.” I noticed that a faint smile appeared on her face the second she saw me. “I know you have to stay home because of Denton, but I thought maybe you would be up for some company. At least for a little while.”

Her head tilted slightly to the left and her eyes narrowed. “How did you know?”

“Know what?” I asked with a hesitant smile.

“That I really need a friend right now.” She pulled the door open wide. “Come in. I’ll get us both a drink.”

We ended up in the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch but turned toward one another. With cold beers in hand, Kate told me about the last couple of hours. After our phone call, she went to Denton’s room and discovered that he had snuck away. After a moment of panic, she drove around the neighborhood hoping to catch him before he got very far away. When that didn’t work, she started calling his friends.

“I talked to four sets of parents before Brad called. He was on his way to pick up Denton from the gas station out on the highway. That’s almost ten miles away.” Kate bit hard on her lip and picked at her beer label with a chipped fingernail. “Anything could have happened to him. He could’ve been hit by a car or someone could’ve grabbed him…”

It was a game that all parents played, running the worst possible scenarios over and over in our heads. “He’s with his father now. He’ll be fine after he has a little time to get over his anger.”

“Have any of your kids ever run away?” Kate asked.

“Not to my knowledge. I’m pretty sure it’s always been just the four that currently live with me.” I offered her a sympathetic smile. “But at least one of them threatens to run away every day. My kids are just too lazy to follow through.”

“Denton used to cry every morning before school because he didn’t want to be away from me. Now he can’t stand to be around me.”

I understood that feeling all too well. “I think that’s just a requirement of raising teenagers. He’ll come back around when he needs you to do his laundry in college.”

“What a relief,” Kate said, laughing softly. “Another beer?”

“Uh…” I glanced at the empty bottle in my hand. “Let me check in with my sitter first.”

What I hoped would be a quick call turned into something much longer as my mother asked a dozen questions about why I needed her to stay with the kids. My vague response that I was hanging out with a friend didn’t fool her. I had never been good at lying to my mother.

After I admitted that I was having a drink with a woman, she gladly agreed to keep the kids for as long as I needed, even all night. I tried not to read too much into that offer. It was too disturbing to think that my own mother might be hoping I was about to get lucky.

Kate and I continued our conversation over a few more drinks. I was surprised at how easy it was to lose track of time as we shared stories about our pasts. We had been peripherally involved in each other’s lives for a long time, all the way back to when Kate and Glory had become friends in high school. But in all those years we had never really gotten to know each other. The more I got to know Kate, the more I liked her.

“You used to be a dancer? No way.” I don’t know why I was so surprised when she admitted that she had been an avid dancer throughout her childhood. “Prove it.”

“Prove it?” She giggled uncertainly. “How? Should I put on a tutu and pirouette around the room?”

At the risk of ruining the moment, I stood and offered her my hand. “Dance with me.”

“I’m sorry?” She stared up at me with wide eyes. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Only if you hate the idea.” I smiled nervously.

Kate stared for a few seconds longer and I held my breath, exhaling slowly only when she placed her soft hand in mine. “Let’s dance,” she said.

Her old stereo had been playing all night, setting a soft backdrop to our impromptu dance. Kate was hesitant as she put her hand on my shoulder.

“Too corny?” I asked as we swayed to the music. “We can stop if you want.”

“No,” she protested quickly. “I mean, it’s pretty corny. But I don’t want to stop.”

It was the closest I had been to another woman in almost two decades. Holding another woman in my arms felt wrong even though we weren’t doing anything sexual and even though I was technically a single man. But while holding another woman felt wrong, holding Kate felt right. As she smiled at me, I noticed the gold flecks in her eyes and the light dusting of freckles across her nose. She was a beautiful woman.

“I really like you, Kate,” I said, probably sounding lame. I had never been accused of being suave around women.

She moved an inch closer to me, looking up at me through long lashes. “Prove it,” she said with a small smirk.

“Prove it? How?”

“Kiss me,” she said.

I wasn’t going to make her say it again. Before I could talk myself out of it, I cupped her chin in my hand and pressed my lips firmly against hers. Kate responded by leaning into my body until it seemed like every inch of us was touching. With her lips against mine and the floral scent of her perfume bathing the air, I realized that I no longer just liked Kate. I was falling for her.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Kate reluctantly suggested that we should end our date. It was late – well after dark. With a few beers working their way through my system, we both agreed it would be best if I stayed for the night.

I slept soundly, content for the first time in a long time. The booze might have had something to do with my restful night. When I opened my eyes, it took me a few seconds to remember where I was. Kate’s living room came into focus and I slowly sat up on the couch. Surprisingly, I didn’t have an ounce of a hangover. The delicious smell of brewing coffee beckoned me from the kitchen.

Kate was sitting at the table, nursing a nearly empty mug of coffee. She looked tired and her eyes didn’t quite meet mine when she looked up. A closer look revealed that her cheeks were damp. She had been crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, assuming it would be Denton or Brad-related.

Her next words cut right through me, effectively ending any romantic notions I might have had about us.

“Jake, we need to talk.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Glory

Six weeks after Johnny was released from the hospital, he still hadn’t recovered completely. Feeling had returned to his legs and he was able to move them slowly and even stand for short periods of time and walk a few steps, but he wasn’t progressing as quickly as he would have liked. That disappointment led to an all-around sour attitude and for the first time in our relationship we were bickering constantly.

It didn’t help that I hadn’t been feeling well. With Jack, I hadn’t even experienced morning sickness. This second pregnancy was different. I felt nauseas regularly and was exhausted most of the time. With Johnny mostly immobile, I had to take over all the household work including Jack’s overnight wakeup calls.

Running on such little sleep meant that I didn’t have the patience needed to coddle my fiancé. It was only when I would remind myself how close I’d come to losing him forever that I managed to swallow my pride and my words before I said something that I would regret. I had to believe that our troubles were only temporary.

On the last Saturday in March, I set about my day determined to change things between us. I hated fighting with Johnny.

After breakfast I was playing with Jack on the floor while Johnny watched us from the couch. The only time he didn’t look frustrated was when he looked at his son. At least that relationship was still solid.

“J.J. and Marta are staying over tonight,” I said, cautiously reminding him that our evening wasn’t going to be a peaceful one. “Jake is taking Chris to the basketball game and Julia will be there cheering. It’s the State championships.”

I wasn’t sure why I was rambling nervously to the man that I had known almost my entire life. I was so worried that I would say one wrong word and the contented look would vanish from his face. As frustrated as I had been with him lately, I would give anything not to see him hurting.

“You told me this already,” he said flatly.

“Right. Sorry.” I turned back to Jack who was clapping his hands and giggling excitedly. The baby thumped happily in my belly. “She’s kicking again.”

Johnny looked at me in surprise. “Hard?”

“Yeah.” I stood and walked over to him.

Without hesitating, he placed his hand over the swell of my belly. I couldn’t remember the last time we had touched in a non-clinical way. I had missed that intimacy.

“She’s a tough girl,” Johnny said, a faint smile softening the hard lines of his face. “Just like her mother.”

“I think this we can blame on her father.” I said meaningfully, covering his hand with mine.

The gentleness left his eyes almost instantly and he pulled his hand away. I tried hard not to let the hurt register on my face.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he said, standing unsteadily just long enough to move to his wheel chair. The physical therapists he had been working with said that he was strong enough to walk around the house without the chair as long as he moved slowly, but Johnny had been reluctant to rely on his own legs.

“Let me know if you need any help,” I said, partly trying to be helpful and partly trying to be playful.

Johnny ignored any innuendo and said, “I’ll be fine.”

When the kids came over after lunch, I was left watching all three of them well he went to take a nap. Johnny claimed that using the chair made him tired, but I was worried that he was sinking into a depression.

After putting Jack down for his nap, I joined the older kids in the living room where they were setting up a board game for us to play.

“Is Uncle John feeling better?” J.J. asked.

“He is doing fine. Just a little tired today.” I faked a smile. “You should know that I’m really good at this game. I apologize in advance for how badly I’m about to destroy you.”

“Yeah right,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Last time we played this you came in last.”

Marta giggled. “You stink at this game.”

“I was having a bad day last time. It won’t happen again.” I settled on the floor with them and helped set up the game pieces. “I’m really glad you guys could come over. It’s been a while since you’ve stayed here.”

“Do you think we’ll still be able to stay after you have the baby?” Marta asked, eying my bulging stomach.

“Of course.” I studied her carefully. “Why do you think things will change after the baby comes?”

She shrugged. “Things changed after Jack was born. Two babies will make you twice as busy and you won’t have time for us.”

“Nonsense.” I tugged lightly on her pigtail. “I will
always
have time for you. No matter how many babies I have.”

“Are you going to have a lot of babies?” she asked, giggling again.

“I don’t know.” It was something that Johnny and I had never really discussed. So far, the first two hadn’t been planned. If I had asked him a month ago, he probably would have said he wanted a bunch of kids. Now, I wasn’t sure he was even excited about having a second one. “How many babies do you think I should have?”

“Six,” she said quickly.

“Nine,” J.J. said with complete confidence. “Then you would have enough for a baseball team.”

I laughed despite the small bubble of terror in my stomach. “I think I’ll stick with the two for a while.”

We played games for the next couple of hours. Despite my prediction, I didn’t win even once. When Jack woke up from his nap, I took all of the kids outside. It was a rare warm day and it had been months since it had been nice enough to play outside. The older kids raced around the yard kicking a soccer ball while Jack pushed his truck in the grass.

I looked up in surprise when Johnny stepped slowly onto the porch, holding two mugs of coffee.

“You’re up,” I said, smiling automatically. No matter how difficult things were between us, I always felt a small thrill of excitement when I saw him.

“Couldn’t stay inside all day when the weather is like this.” He handed me a coffee and then sat next to me on the old bench. “Spring is almost here.”

“It is.” I shot a quick glance in his direction and was pleased to see that he was smiling. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” His arm went over the back of the bench and his fingers brushed my shoulder. “I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.”

Jack stood as he pushed his truck over a pile of rocks. He had been walking for a couple of months, but he was still unsteady on his feet. I could see that he was about to fall and normally would have been able to catch him in time. With my pregnant belly, I wasn’t able to move fast enough.

He started crying the second he hit the ground. Most of the impact was on his knees and I knew that he would be okay, but it still broke my heart to see him in pain.

“Jacky, it’s okay. Mommy’s coming.” I hurried over and bent to pick him up.

A blinding pain shot through my core, causing me to double over. I clutched at my stomach and gasped. “Johnny.”

He was already on his feet. Something must have taken over his body because as he moved toward me, there was no trace of the paralysis. He caught me in his arms before I could hit the ground.

“Glor, what’s wrong?” he asked, sounding frightened.

I sucked in a quick breath as another wave of pain tore through me. “It’s the baby, Johnny. We’re losing her.”