Again, but Better (35 page)

I can’t believe I’ve reached this stage of my
Again, but Better
book journey. I’m writing the acknowledgments for my first novel? This is surreal. I have so many people to thank. The first two have to be my parents. Thank you for letting me study abroad. Those four months forever changed me, and the paths I would choose to take.

To my agent, JL, and my editor, Eileen, thank
you for believing in this long, rambly contemporary book and continuously challenging me through the revision process. Thank you to the entire team at New Leaf and Wednesday Books.

Thank you to my best friend, Dr. Katie McCormick-Huhn, for sitting on the phone with me, brainstorming titles and names, and helping me work through any scene at all hours of the night. Thank you for being the first
person to read this story, back when it was in its most primal state. Thank you for always cheering me on. Your enthusiasm and kind words were so integral to this book.

Thank you, Julia Friley. You’ve been reading my crap, and helping me make it better, since 2011. Thank you for constantly pushing me to cut shit out of this book, helping me with emails, and tolerating my insecure calls and texts.
Thank you for picking up the phone and brainstorming major plot drama whenever I found myself in a bind. Thank you for reading Part One three separate times. This book wouldn’t be the same without you.

Thank you, Kat O’Keeffe, for agreeing to be critique partners with me, even though I was such a noob. Your feedback and support are always spot-on.

Thank you, Natasha Polis, for reading Draft
Three and being there to discuss these characters with me whenever I needed to. Also, thanks for that time we sat around during a thunderstorm reading the chapters aloud in the dark.

Thank you to my other best friend, Dr. Jenna Presto, for reading a huge chunk of the first draft and being my official go-to source of knowledge for all things med school.

Thanks to Tiernan Bertrand-Essington and
Christina Marie for providing me with thoughtful, valuable feedback when I needed it most.

Thank you to my cousin Holly Springhorn for being the first person under twenty to read a chunk of the draft. Thank you for sending me so much love.

Jesse George, Kat O’Keeffe, Larry Lane, Sasha Alsberg, Kristina Marjieh, and Allison Gottlieb, thank you for your endless support throughout this process.

To my siblings, Olivia and Paul: If you made it to the end of this book, thank you for reading it—it means a lot. Olivia, I’m honored to have written the second book you’ve ever voluntarily read. I hope you’re not reading this before you actually finish the book.

Thank you, Juan, for the endless encouragement in the final stages of the publishing process.

To my whole Booktube, Bookternet family,
ALL OF YOU: Thank you for being the best, kindest, most welcoming, most understanding, most supportive, gorgeous friends a girl could ask for.

To my subscribers/viewers: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are a perpetual source of happiness for me. You have enriched my life in every way. I hope you enjoyed my first book. I hope it made you happy in some way or another. I hope you laughed. I
hope it made you want to face your fears. *AGGRESSIVELY HUGS YOU* *APOLOGIZES*

Nana, thank you for blessing me with your passion for reading. Mrs. Gearing, thank you for reading aloud to us in class and enforcing DEAR time in fourth grade. J. K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, thank you for the stories that made me fall in love with books.

Dearest reader, thank you for picking this up and supporting
my writing endeavors. I hope
Again, but Better
brought you joy! If you’re not a big reader, I hope this made you want to read more! If it didn’t, please hit me up on YouTube at http://youtube.com/polandbananasBOOKS so I can try to turn you via video.

xoxo

2018

Christine Riccio
’s polandbananasBOOKS YouTube channel has more than 400,000 book-loving subscribers. She makes comedic book reviews, vlogs, sketches, and writing videos chronicling the creation of her own novel. She’s also one of the three YouTubers behind BOOKSPLOSION, YouTube’s longest-running book club. For the past four years Christine has been collaborating with publishing companies and
authors and traveling across the United States to speak on book-related panels to further spread the reading love. You can sign up for email updates
here
.

1. Title Page
   
2. Copyright Notice
   
3. Dedication
   
4. Author’s Note
   
5. Part 1: 2011
   
6. 1. Take a Chance
   
7. 2. Make a Change
   
8. 3. Breathe, Just Breathe
   
9. 4. I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here
   
10. 5. Open Your Eyes and See
    
11. 6. Nothing’s Standing in My Way
    
12. 7. Never Mind
    
13. 8. I Want to Be the Rainstorm, Not the House of Cards
    
14. 9. Maybe We Can See the World Together
    
15. 10. Rome Ma-Ma
    
16. 11. What Comes Next?
    
17. 12. Has He Heard?
    
18. 13. Here Goes Nothing
    
19. 14. Sail?
    
20. 15. Fail
    
21. 16. A Million Little Shining Stars
    
22. 17. Such a Breakable Thread
    
23. 18. I Can Learn to Do It
    
24. 19. Drifting
    
25. 20. Spinning
    
26. 21. Ticking Away
    
27. 22. I Must Dream of the Things I Am Seeking
    
28. 23. Thunderbolt and Lightning
    
29. 24. Broken Dreams
    
30. 25. One Last Time
    
31. 26. Bye Bye Bye
    
32. Part 2: 2017
    
33. 27. What Page Are You On?
    
34. 28. More Than You Bargained For
    
35. 1. Helpless
    
36. 2. Somebody Catch My Breath
    
37. 3. I Thought Time Was an Hourglass Glued to the Table
    
38. 4. I’m the First in Line
    
39. 5. Reaching in the Dark
    
40. 6. What a Lovely Night
    
41. 7. There’s a Glow Off the Pavement
    
42. 8. Where Do We Go From Here?
    
43. 9. Might as Well Embrace It
    
44. 10. The Green Light, I Want It
    
45. 11. Come Together
    
46. 12. The Rush at the Beginning
    
47. 13. Close
    
48. 14. Don’t Stop Me Now
    
49. 15. Don’t, Don’t Know What It Is
    
50. 16. I’m a Goner
    
51. 17. Shining
    
52. 18. Break Your Walls
    
53. 19. Heavy as the Setting Sun
    
54. 20. Waves Come After Midnight
    
55. 21. Ford Every Stream
    
56. 22. Going for the Knockout
    
57. 23. I Have Confidence in Me
    
58. 24. Through Accepting Limits
    
59. 25. Twice as Hard, Half as Liked
    
60. 26. The Fear of Falling Apart
    
61. 27. Marching On
    
62. Epilogue
    
63. Acknowledgments
    
64. About the Author
    
65. Copyright
    

AGAIN, BUT BETTER.
Copyright © 2019 by Christine Riccio. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

www.wednesdaybooks.com

www.stmartins.com

Cover design by Kerri Resnick

Cover illustration by Jeff Östberg

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Names: Riccio, Christine, 1990– author.

Title:
Again, but better / Christine Riccio.

Description: New York: Wednesday Books, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2019002944 | ISBN 9781250299253 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781250299277 (ebook)

Classification: LCC PS3618.I279 A74 2019 | DDC 813/.6—dc23

LC record available at
https://lccn.loc.gov/2019002944

eISBN 9781250299277

Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use.
Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at
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First Edition: May 2019