Alexandr's Cherished Submissive (15 page)

“Uh...sure.” She started to inch toward the door, wanting to make her getaway. “It was nice meeting you, Dimitri.”

“Stop.” His tone was so authoritative she froze in place. “Come here.”

Chewing her lip, wishing she’d just made a run for it instead of stopping to be polite, she moved closer to the couch, extremely uncomfortable. “Yes?”

“Why do you sneak?”

“What?”

“You move quiet, like mouse.”

“I-uh, didn’t want to wake up Alex.”

The lie was so bold that it practically screamed in her every word, and Dimitri must have picked up on it because he frowned. “Why will you not meet eyes?”

He appeared genuinely upset, and she winced. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually get that drunk.”

“Ahhh, you are embarrassed. No need.”

“Right, so I’ll just be going now.”

“Wait.”

Once again, she froze in place. “Dimitri, I have to work, so I need to do some stuff.”

“My memory of last night is not so good. Yes? Too much vodka.”

She was sure Dimitri was going to tease her. He’d done it a lot last night, so his understanding eased her embarrassment a bit. “Yeah, way too much vodka.”

“I need to thank you.”

“For what?”

He studied her for a long moment, the amusement draining from his gaze and leaving behind a young man with eyes too old for his face. “My brother is hard man, filled with much responsibility. Has been long time since I see him laugh like he laugh with you. Is nice to see him happy. You are good friend. He likes you very much, and so do I.”

That damn blush came back, and she tried to hide her smile. “Thanks.”

The sound of movement came from Alex’s room, and she darted for the foyer, throwing a quick “Travel safe” to Dimitri before she ran out the door and into her apartment.

After she shut the door and locked it, she sprinted to her bathroom and took care of her full to bursting bladder. Then she dragged herself into the kitchen and took some aspirin before grabbing a muffin and eating half of it in an effort to ease her hangover. The light on her phone was blinking, so she listened to a message from one of her aunts back in the States, then another from one of her friends back home. The last message was from John, reminding her that they had a date tonight and to dress warm. Guilt raced through her as she thought about the fact that she woke up in one man’s arms and would be going out with another guy tonight.

Not that she’d done anything sexual with Alex…at least she didn’t think she had. She knew Alex well enough to know he wasn’t the kind of guy to take advantage of a drunk girl, and she was also well aware that she wasn’t his type. The thought that maybe her dream wasn’t a dream was too much to bear, and she shook her head, trying to block it out even as the motion made her brain hurt.

With a groan, she stumbled into her bedroom then headed for the shower, wondering if she’d thrown herself at him. The lack of bra and pants indicated that she might have tried, or she’d just taken them off because she usually slept in panties and an old, oversized T-shirt. God, what if she’d been so drunk she’d stripped in front of Alex? The hot water was doing wonders for her headache, but it did nothing to wash away the mortification filling her. A vague mental image of her kissing Alex, sucking on his tongue, in the soft darkness of his bedroom began to form, but she quickly banished the thought.

Last night, for the first time in a long time, she’d allowed herself to completely relax and let loose. Hell, the last time she’d gotten drunk that hadn’t involved a pity party over being homesick was back in college in Iowa. Oh, she’d gotten tipsy a time or two at one of her Uncle Pat’s parties and while sharing a bottle of wine with her Aunt Mary, but not shit faced, blacked out, smashed. It was all Dimitri’s fault. That man was a bad influence in the best of ways, and with every shot she’d done with him, she relaxed more and more until it felt like she was hanging out with old friends. Despite the dark nature of the previous night, both men had gone out of their way to include her in conversations, to put her at ease and make her feel welcome. Actually, they made her feel more than welcome. They made her feel safe. Dimitri had proven to be funny with a dry wit, and his obvious, over-the-top flirting pissed Alex off, which Jessica found amusing and kind of sweet.

Truth be told, she enjoyed Alex’s jealous reaction, or what her drunken mind had told her was him being jealous.

Toweling off, she brushed her teeth then studied her pink-cheeked face. She could always ask Alex if she’d gotten horny and tried to hump his leg, but she’d rather jump off Ha’Penny Bridge than talk about what a loser she was. He’d made it more than clear that he viewed her as a friend, and she was sure his handholding last night had been more for comfort than romance. Hell, she’d done everything but strip naked and spread her legs for him when he’d been there for her on the anniversary of her adopted mother’s passing, and he flat out wasn’t interested.

He obviously had a type, and an unsophisticated, skinny redhead wasn’t it.

When she met her bloodshot gaze in the mirror, she didn’t like the sadness and defeat she saw there. She wasn’t the kind of woman who enjoyed mind games, and she certainly didn’t want to waste her time with a man who would never return her affection as anything other than friendship. Yes, Alex was an amazing man, probably an amazing lover, and he made her feel more alive than she’d felt in a long time, but she was lonely. She wanted someone who would see her as a woman, someone she could fall in love with and maybe start to build something long-term. She wanted the kind of marriage her parents had rather than the constant heartache of wondering who Alex was fucking when he wasn’t with her.

Really, she needed to pull her tattered self-respect together and forget Alexandr Gorev.

Giving herself a stern glare before she turned from the mirror to grab her hair dryer, she vowed that she wouldn’t think about Alex tonight. She’d go out with John, enjoy Dublin, enjoy being alive and young, and maybe start to fall in love. Those thoughts fragmented when she picked up her clothes and caught a whiff of her handsome bodyguard’s unique citrus and sandalwood scent. She held up her shirt and buried her nose in the cloth, her heart aching as she tried to convince herself that she didn’t want Alex anymore.

Seven hours later, Jessica stepped back from the mirror and took a critical look at herself. The makeup managed to hide most of the dark circles under her eyes, and the blush added some color to her pale cheeks. All day, she’d swung between the need to go over to Alex’s place and pretend nothing was wrong like any mature, urbane woman would and wanting to do everything she could to avoid ever seeing him again. Maks had stopped by earlier to see if she would like to go get some coffee and was concerned by her appearance. She begged off saying she was hung over. He obviously didn’t believe her, and she had to practically shut the door in his face when he tried to come in so he could make her soup. When he asked her if Alex knew she was sick, she pretended that she was going to throw up in order to avoid talking about it.

She was such a coward.

Tugging at the edge of her black silk tunic shirt with its boat-neck collar, she turned this way and that in the mirror, making sure her dark green leggings fit perfectly where they disappeared into her black, calf-high boots. She’d curled her hair so it fell in ringlets down her back, and she wore the small diamond studs her parents had given her for her high school graduation. The outfit flattered her lean frame, but once again, she wished God had been a little more generous in the tits and ass department.

Maybe she should look into some padded underwear that would at least give her the illusion of having hips, instead of looking like a twelve-year-old boy. Or some of those bras that had built in supports. Then again, nothing would be more humiliating than getting naked with a man for the first time only to have him wonder where the hell all her curves went. Or copping a feel and getting a handful of foam padding.

With a sigh, she went out into her living room, trying to psych herself up about the night. John was a nice, good-looking guy, and he was really into her. If she was back home, her girlfriends would be over right now, helping her get ready for her date and giggling with her. Instead, she was alone, and a wave of homesickness swamped her. She had just picked her purse up from the couch to call her best friend Kisha when there was a knock on the front door. Taking a peek through the peephole, she was glad to see it was John, looking as handsome as ever in his leather jacket now paired with a dark wool flat cap that brought out the golden tones in his brown hair. He held a bouquet of pink roses in his arms, and that terrible hollowness of being homesick eased a little bit as she opened the door.

His dark eyes lit up at the sight of her, and his smile was genuine. “Jessica, you look amazing. Here. These are for you. I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you liked, but my mam said you can’t go wrong with roses.”

She took the flowers, inhaling their slightly spicy scent with a smile. “These are lovely, thank you. Come on in and let me put them in some water.”

After she cut the stems, she arranged the roses in a crystal vase. John wandered around her small living room, studying the pictures above her mantle. Inside of her cozy apartment he seemed bigger than she remembered, and she watched him as he stopped before a large, silver framed picture.

“This your mam and da?’”

She placed the roses on the small coffee table and moved to his side where he looked at a picture of her parents standing in front of their barn with Jessica sitting proudly on her first horse. It had been a beautiful summer day and the land stretching out into the horizon behind them was full of vibrant green corn stalks. For a moment, she could almost smell the fresh scent of the fields on a late summer evening, and her throat tightened. Her dad, a strong, tall man with dark hair and an easy smile, held her palomino horse’s reigns while her petite, blonde mother was snuggled into his side. It was her seventh birthday that day. She was wearing her best party dress and a purple, plastic, princess crown. A grin from ear to ear revealed that she was missing her two front teeth. For a moment, the memory of her father’s rich cologne filled her, and she ached to feel his strong arms around her, always ready to give her a hug.

Her parents adored her, and the feeling was entirely mutual.

God, she missed them.

“Yes, these are my parents.” She traced her fingers lightly over the glass, blinking back tears.

He glanced down at her placing the picture back after making a small, distressed sound. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

She touched her fingers to her lips then to the glass. “It’s okay. I just miss them. Kind of sneaks up on me every once in a while that they’re gone.”

John gently stroked her cheek and gave her a kind smile. “Whenever my sister is sad, she demands large quantities of chocolate. Let’s get going, and we can grab some hot chocolate from a place I know along the way. Then we’ll head over for the tree lighting.”

His obvious efforts to make her feel better did help, so she tried to shove her personal shit aside and enjoy her first date in almost a year. “Deal.”

Jessica stood outside of her apartment door in the communal hallway at some time after midnight, laughing quietly as John teased her. For once, she was actually all alone with a handsome young man. Peter had promised to not send any bodyguards with her tonight and it seemed like he’d kept his word. No doubt there’d been someone following her, but she hadn’t seen them. Feeling free for the first time in a long time, she’d had a great time walking the streets of Dublin with him and some of his friends, feeling normal for the first time in a long time. Dublin certainly had a different vibe than back home, but she was beginning to get used to the urban atmosphere. Plus, being around people her own age was something she’d been missing.

Oleg, Maks, and Alex were all fascinating in their own way, and they made her laugh, but there was a seriousness to them that never really left. John and his friends were the opposite—carefree, fun-loving, immature in the way only college boys could be. And it was nice to hang out with their girlfriends and talk about normal girl stuff. She’d even agreed to meet up with a few of them next week to go shopping, another activity she missed. Oh, she went with her Aunt Mary and had a great time, but it was different than having girlfriends to laugh with.

Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and from drinking a few too many beers, as she smacked John on the arm. “I did not make that face!”

“Yes, you did. I thought your eyes were going to pop out of your head.”

“I can’t believe they were having sex right there in the alley!”

A frisson of heat went through her, and she resisted the urge to press her thighs together. The sight of the couple, the woman facing the brick wall, her hands braced and legs spread with her skirt lifted over her pale hips while her man thrust into her, made Jessica incredibly aroused. With harsh thrusts of his hips, the man had fucked that mystery woman hard enough that she gave a helpless whimper every time he buried himself deep. Even though Jessica had only gotten a glimpse in the dim lighting, watching them made her pussy wet and her nipples as hard as diamonds. She didn’t know what it was about public sex and the idea of being seen and caught, but something about it had always been one of her favorite fantasies.

She’d only done something like that once, well twice if she counted having sex in the ocean, but it had been one of the best sexual experiences of her life. Last year, she’d been at a Halloween party off campus with her roommates and had gotten way too drunk and hooked up with a really cute guy dressed up like a pirate. They’d gone at it hot and heavy. Her costume disguised her, giving her the drunken courage to have sex with him in a place that was isolated, but where other people could see. They’d been alone on the balcony, and she knew that there were a couple guys below watching them and cheering them on. Knowing those strangers were getting turned on by looking at her had led to some good orgasms. Of course, the next day she was totally embarrassed, but the memory was still one of her favorite masturbation fantasies.