Alexandr's Reluctant Submissive (3 page)

“No, no you didn’t, not at all.” Desperately, she tried to make him understand why she went along with his father’s scheming. “If I had stayed, thousands of people would have died, Alex.”

Before he closed his eyes, she watched him struggle to hold back tears. The sight of her proud man so exposed, so raw, was for no one but her. He was giving her a gift by showing his open vulnerability and she understood that, understood a lot of things about her husband that had been a mystery to her before. Now she treasured the intimacy of this moment, fully appreciating it and realizing what an honor it was that he sought comfort from her.

She closed the distance between them then stroked his face gently and he turned into her touch, his eyes closed so tightly the faint lines around them had deepened into crevices. When he whispered her name, it was filled with a heartbreaking mixture of love and sorrow.

She was scarcely aware of her surroundings, could have been in the middle of a circus and the only thing she would be able to see was Alex. The entire situation was so surreal, and her mind was beginning to sort out the convoluted events that led to this moment, but she was still confused. First she needed to hear again what an evil, manipulative, powerful genius Alex’s father was. If she was thinking right, he’d played her with ease. Knowing just what to say to her younger self to make her flee, how to pray on her fears and weaknesses.

“You left me,” he murmured, his voice breaking.

“I didn’t want to leave you, it almost killed me, but your father made me believe some terrible things would happen if I stayed. I can’t understand why he gave you the information on me when he worked so hard to keep me from ever going back to you. It just doesn’t make sense.” Her breath hitched. “Why would he do this to us? Alex? Why? I never did anything to that man to justify this cruel game he’s played with our lives. How could he be so brutal? How could he deny Tatiana her father? And me my husband? Who the hell does he think he is?!”

He cupped her face in his rough hands as she fought back her tears and drank in the harsh, masculine beauty of his face. Right away she noted the scars that had been added to his handsome visage while they’d been apart, the worry lines. Even his gaze was duller beneath the anger and she longed for those gray depths to glow like they used to when he’d look at her. The memory of meeting all those years ago in her uncle Peter’s bar swamped her, and her breath hitched again and a tear spilled down her cheek.

“Alex. I’ve missed you so much.”

“
Eto piz`dets.
” He let out a low sigh and again closed his eyes, hiding his emotions from her. “You need to know that you are never leaving me. Ever. And neither is our daughter. We will be the family we are meant to be.”

She jolted and a small burst of adrenaline went through her. Right now Tatiana was vulnerable back in the States with just her nanny, Gwen, and a good security system to protect them. All too easily she could imagine a group of thugs sneaking their way up to the house, ready to kidnap or kill the vibrant and loving little girl. The need to physically hold Tatiana consumed her and she grasped the edges of Alex’s jacket, her worry evident in her voice. “Alex, we have to get Tatiana! We can’t leave her alone.”

“She is safe, I already have men loyal to me guarding her, unseen, and Krom is on his way to retrieve her.” His jaw clenched and his body tensed as well. “Besides, you were never alone. My father had men watching you. In the packet my father gave to Peter there were details from various security reports, including one where they had to stop a thief who had thought to target you.”

She blinked rapidly. “A thief? I can’t remember anyone trying to rob me.”

“Of course you do not. Your bodyguards did their job and you were never aware of the danger.”

The headache worsened and she pressed her fingertips to her forehead, trying to will it away. She’d been under so much stress lately and without fail, it triggered migraines. At first she’d been freaked out she had a tumor, it would be just her luck, but after extensive testing, her team of doctors had chalked it up to a hormonal shift that had happened after she gave birth. All she knew was that she had to get a grip on herself in a situation that she had utterly no control of.

Striving to find some way to mellow out, she took a seat on the deep couch and folded her shaking hands in her lap. It took two or three deep breaths, but by the time she’d regained her composure Alex had joined her, his warmth pressed up against her, distracting her in an entirely pleasant way.

He placed his large hands over hers, holding them beneath his strength. “I hate why they were there, but I am thankful they kept you safe, both of you, for me. You have no idea how overjoyed I am that you are here, really here, with me.
Prinsessa moya,
I thought you were lost to me forever.”

Now
she
was the one closing her eyes against the terrible beauty of the moment, overcome with emotion as his pet name for her rolled off his tongue, the adoration in those two words suffusing her chest with a pressure that was at once painful and good. How she’d yearned for those words, for his touch, for his everything.

Instead of giving him a chance to speak, she merely lifted her face to his and he lowered his head, his lips passing gently over hers. He exhaled just as she inhaled and she gratefully took his breath into her, tasting him on every level when he licked along the lower curve of her lip. In less than three heartbeats she was ravenous for him, eagerly stroking his tongue with hers, trying to devour him while he hummed with pleasure against her lips.

The taste of his wife exploded on his tongue, the crisp bite of apples mixed with a more sophisticated perfume teasing his senses. A low growl rumbled through him as he shoved her jacket off her shoulders then tore the thin silk of her shirt, stripping her as quickly as possible while she moaned into his mouth.

When his hands met the bare, smooth skin of her back, he paused for a moment, caressing the slender curve of her spine, the perfect sweep of her waist. Her nails dug into his pectoral muscles beneath his dress shirt as she sucked on his tongue then she shoved her skirt off without breaking their kiss. Greedy, she was so desperate for his touch that she silently screamed her need for him with every inch of her body. They tumbled back onto the wide leather sofa together, their movements hungry and rough.

For a moment he wondered if she’d been with anyone else, then decided he didn’t care. None of that mattered. She was here now, and she was never leaving him again. He’d gladly die first and spare himself the agony of losing her twice. Those dark thoughts twisted their kiss and he narrowed his eyes at her when she broke away, panting, her wide blue eyes searching his face as that familiar blush heated her cheeks.

Her gaze darted away then back to him, timid and vulnerable. “You need to know my body has changed. I don’t look the same as I did five years ago.”

The shame and apprehension in her low voice put him on alert. “What has happened?”

His fears of some type of maiming or torture raced through his thoughts while she scooted so she sat next to him in a beautiful amethyst-lace panties and bra set.

The first thing he noticed was that her breasts were a little bit larger and her belly softer. His cock throbbed as he took in her new curves, the lushness of her hips, the adorable bump of her small pooch. She would never be considered buxom, but she had filled out into a woman better than he’d ever imagined. There were some silvery lines on her hips that hadn’t been there before, and a few on her belly, but that was what being a mother sometimes did to a woman’s body.
His
child had made those marks, and they didn’t deter his interest in her one bit.

She made a nervous sound as her hands tried to cover the cute little roundness of her tummy. “We can turn off the lights if you like.”

“
Ti tak velikolEpna
,” he murmured, his gaze once again devouring her pale skin, the freckles that he so loved. “As if I would not gladly have you naked around me at all times. I used to think I imagined your beauty, that your loss had made everything better in my memory, but is untrue. You stun me with your exquisiteness. Give me privilege of pleasuring you, Jessica.”

Her hands shook on her belly and he forced himself to look away from the bounty that was his. As he met her apprehensive gaze, he placed both of his hands on her abdomen, loving how soft she was now, imagining how it would feel to sink between her slender, yet shapely legs. Easing her back on the couch, he looked down at her and his heart did a hard thump at the mixture of joy and pain that filled him. When he lay atop her now, he did not risk bruising himself on her hipbones. This fuller body of hers was driving him mad.

Her hands twitched beneath his and he was drawn from his mental worship of her. She nervously chewed her lower lip and he became aware of how uncomfortable she as. In a way, her unsure reactions reminded him of when they were first together and learning each other. During those early days in Rome she’d needed a lot of verbal reassurance, so he tried that tactic again.

“I remember when this belly was round with my child.” He leaned down and kissed along the side of her neck, unable to stop himself from licking and biting at the spot he knew made her aroused. “We will make it that way again.”

“Alex—”

“Later, we will discuss all of that later. Now is time to fuck. I must feel you around me.”

Her pupil’s dilated just as her hips jerked up and he loved that she was still responsive to his look, his voice. His touch. Moving her hands to her sides on the soft cushions of the couch, he growled out, “Keep them there.”

She nodded, her breath coming in short pants as a lovely blush suffused her chest. That had always fascinated him, the way her pale skin could reflect her desire. He leaned back and freed his cock from his pants, moved his shirt out of the way and gave his aching dick a quick stroke. Jessica made a decidedly hungry noise and reached for him, only to have him capture her hands. If she touched him he would explode, and he didn’t intend to do that anywhere but inside of her.

“I said keep them there. Or I will secure you.”

When he said that, he tightened his hands on her wrists, judging her reaction to the threat of bondage. He’d had enough time now that reality was finally setting in and he planned to handle things very carefully with Jessica. He had changed in their time apart and he could only hope that Jessica would embrace this new side of him that needed to own her pleasure, to give her so much she’d remember how good things were between them.

They had played with BDSM when they were together, but he’d done some things after her death that were so deep into edge play he hoped she never heard about it. He’d been desperate to feel something, anything other than emotional pain, and had gone through a phase where he’d needed the physical release of a good beating. He knew his craving to own her completely probably wasn’t healthy, but the fact that he wasn’t having a mental breakdown right now was a miracle.

Jessica licked her lips then purred, “Take me, Alex, any way you want. Tie me up, fuck me, spank me, anything. I need you, all of you.”

His cock jerked, eager to be inside her pussy that was so wet he could smell it, the familiar tang of her arousal bringing back a surge of memories of their times together in the past.

Memories that had been as dead as his wife.

That thought staggered him to a momentary halt. His breath hitched and he closed his eyes to fight the burn of tears he would not shed. The sorrow he still carried inside of him refused to accept that she was alive, but his body knew she was here. He could smell her in the air, taste her on his lips. His fingers touched impossibly soft freckled skin and she had a slight tan. When he had enough control over himself to look at her again, he found her amazing tilted blue eyes staring back into his own with such intensity that it stole his breath. The familiar tingle racing along his skin sizzled along his nerves like an electric caress. Her gaze promised passion, heat, love, and the wild arousal that he only got from his wife made his balls draw up tight as his body shuddered.

Something inside of him snapped, some control he’d never lost with any other woman, and he tore her panties from her with a rough shout. The sight of her neatly trimmed auburn pubic hair made his cock jerk, and with a shaky hand, he stroked those dark-red curls, damp with her arousal. Her nipples puckered against the lace of her bra, tempting him. A shiver worked through her, raising goose bumps along her skin while the fading sunlight cast shadows over her mesmerizing curves.

Unable to resist her any longer, he fit the aching head of his shaft against her wet entrance, then began to slowly push in.

They both gasped and he had to force his eyes to stay open as her tight sheath surrounded him, squeezing him in the way only she could. It was so good that sensual fire wrapped around his spine, the urge to come already pushing at him. Jessica was the only woman who tested his control like this. She arched and rolled her hips into his, taking him all the way to the root and sobbing with pleasure. Knowing he wasn’t going to last, he began to fuck her with a punishing rhythm, her cries as she swiftly came on his cock driving him wild.

She pulled him down for a kiss, sucking on his lips and tongue while she met him thrust for thrust, tears trailing down her cheeks even as she tightened around him again, her hands running over his shirt-clad back in a frantic manner. With a low growl he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her off the couch, then turned and sat with her astride.

With a cry of relief she slid down on his shaft, then rode him hard, their hips slapping together. The sight of her, his beloved wife, with her eyes closed and her head thrown back in ecstasy was too much for him. To his shame, tears fell down his scarred cheeks but he couldn’t stop them any more than he could stop the earth from turning. His long-suppressed emotions burst free from his iron-willed control and he surrendered himself to her. When her sheath tightened around him again he didn’t bother to try to hold back this time, instead clutching her as close to him as he could, her pussy sucking the cum right out of him with the tight, rippling contractions of her orgasm. Sublime contentment filled him and he couldn’t help the relaxed grin lifting the corners of his mouth. Erotic bliss, pure and clean.