All Access (Brothers of Rock #1) (rockstar contemporary romance) (8 page)

“Jess, wait a second.”

“What’s wrong?”

Johnnie put his hands to her hips and forced her to take a couple steps back.  He looked at her with the slight hesitation and regret of what he was about to say.

“I don’t want to just... have you once,” Johnnie said.  “I know that’s the image we have.  But that’s not what I want.”

“I understand,” Jess said.

“You’re not here for a hookup, Jess.  You’re here for a purpose.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re an artist, like me.  I’m in the middle of a decision, about a song.  I need someone to talk to about it.”

“I don’t know the first thing about music.”

“Maybe that’s just what I need.”

Johnnie walked away from Jess towards the large window at the end of the hotel room.  He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets.  When he turned his head, Jess froze and stared at the side view of Johnnie’s face.  His features were perfect but what caught Jess the most was his eyes.  She could see the power and the magic in them.  He looked out to a city but Jess was certain he saw more than a city.  He saw stories, beauty, something to write about.  Something to create.

Jess moved across the room, looking around the place.  She saw a guitar on the couch, notebooks on the table, but what she didn’t see was bottles of booze or drugs.  That prompted her to look at Johnnie again, wondering just what kind of man he was.  Someone who obviously loved the music and loved the shows.

“What’s it like?” Jess asked, still inching he ways towards the gorgeous rockstar.

“What’s what like?” Johnnie asked.

“Writing music?  Playing shows?”

Johnnie smiled.  He looked out the window, leaving Jess barely able to see the faint reflection of his face against the glass.

“It’s life,” Johnnie said.  “It’s everything I see and feel coming to life.  To express what I feel, what I hear, what I say.  Some people hear the faster songs and think they’re written for the purpose of being fast.  Loud music and all that.  But there’s more to it.  The lyrics tell a story and so does the music.  That’s why I always bring the songs to the band.”

Jess wondered why Johnnie always mentioned the band.  He did so as though he regretted what he said.  As though he kept trying to remind himself he had a band.

“As far as the shows go... it’s not about me and it’s not about the band.  It’s about the people.  The fans.  They show up, so we play.  They’re the ones that control it, not me.”  Johnnie looked over his shoulder and added, “Then again, if nobody showed up, I’d still play.  Because I have to.  It’s my release and my offering to the world.”

The words were beautiful and they all made sense to Jess.  For the people who asked her why she wrote books, this was why.  It was her release.  Her way of speaking to the world.  Her way of offering something. 

Jess moved faster now and when she was within reach of Johnnie, she slipped her arms around his waist.  She chased away the thoughts of Johnnie being a rockstar and she chased away the thoughts that she wasn’t good enough for him.

They could use each other.

Jess rested the side of her face on Johnnie’s back and interlocked her fingers around him.  She felt the muscles in his shirt and felt the waves of warmth rush through her body.  All her senses were activated and she resisted her urges to see if she could get Johnnie to take her to the bedroom. 

“Thank you for being here,” Johnnie said.  “I was worried you weren’t going to find my number on the autograph.”

“That was kind of risky,” Jess said.  “I’m surprised Marie didn’t call you.”

“I thought about it.  Well worth the risk.”

“If you say so.”

Silence came for a few seconds.  Then Johnnie asked, “What are you working on this week?”

“I’m a writer, so, a book.”

“Is it important?”

“I hope so,” Jess said.

“I mean, do you have to be here to write it?”

“No.  I can do whatever I want.  I’m waiting for a phone call though...”

A knock at the door ended their alone time. 

Johnnie spun around, but kept Jess’s hands around him.  He hugged her and looked down at her.

“Am I interrupting something?” Jess asked.

“No.  Just music stuff.  I have a phone interview with a magazine.  Stay with me.”

Jess shook her head.  “No.  That’s kind of important...”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Johnnie broke his hold and rushed to the door.  He opened it and ushered Peter in, who held his cell phone to his ear.  He took it away for a second and waved it at Johnnie.

“Hey, Timmy, listen, I’ve got Johnnie right here with me now,” Peter yelled into the phone.

Peter looked at Jess and smiled.  Johnnie put a hand up.  He mouthed,
It’s okay
, and then took a seat on the couch.  Peter followed suit and placed the phone on the table, putting it on speakerphone.

“You’re on, Timmy,” Peter yelled.

“Okay,” a voice came through.  “Johnnie, are you there, man?”

“I’m here.  How’s it hanging?”

“Amazing.  Thanks so much for the interview.”

“Anytime.”

Peter gave Johnnie a thumbs up.

Jess leaned against the window and watched Johnnie. 

“Okay, let’s start simple.  Tell me about the tour.  What’s it like?  Why the break?”

“The tour is amazing,” Johnnie said.  “Chasing Cross has the best fans in the world.  It never fails to amaze me how they show up, sing every song, and even when we throw a twist into the show, they love it.  We take breaks so our band and crew can spend time with their families.  Face it, we’re not getting any younger, right?”  Johnnie laughed.  “And being on the road year after year teaches you so much about life.  So many of our guys have wives and kids... and seeing them all growing up, it’s just something special to see.  Plus, everyone knows how much bigger and better the tours get  as we take our breaks.”

Peter tapped on Johnnie’s leg.  He mouthed to him,
Charity!
, and Johnnie nodded.

“We also have a big charity show coming up, so it’s not that long of a break.”

“Tell me about this twist in your show?” Timmy asked.

“We decided to play an acoustic version of “Chasing” last night.  I grabbed a guitar and the band just came together and pulled it off.  I don’t think we’ve ever played it like that before, at least live.  It was amazing.  We are surrounded by the best band members in the world with the best fans in the world cheering us on...”

Jess saw glimpses of herself in Johnnie, wondering if her life would be like that soon enough.  Her publisher was due to call her any day now.  Hopefully with big news.  Not just a big advance but maybe a big push.  A chance to do book signings, meet readers, and have that moment in the light. 

Johnnie was smooth and calm during the interview, answering with honesty and never forgetting the band.  Peter steered the interview when needed and Jess watched as Peter and Johnnie were able to speak to each other through mouthed words and different stares.

“Johnnie, thanks for the time,” Timmy said.  “Now, on your break, will you write?”

“Of course I will,” Johnnie said.  “I’m a musician.  I play, I write.  All the time.”

“What do you do with it?  The new material.”

“Take it to the band,” Johnnie said.  “Probably after the tour.  That’s when we usually decide on our next album.”

“Why not release it on your own?”

Johnnie looked at Peter and his lip started to curl.  “Why would I do that?”

“If you wrote it,” Timmy said.  “If you have that much ready to go...”

“Interview’s over,” Johnnie said.

He stood up and moved from the table, pointing to the phone, shaking his head.

“Wait, wait,” Peter said.  “Timmy...”

“It’s an honest question,” Timmy said.  “Johnnie’s the front man.  The man everyone wants.  His solo album...”

“I said the interview is over!” Johnnie boomed. 

He hurried and grabbed the phone, terminating the call.  He tossed the phone at Peter, then kicked the table.

“What the hell was that about?” he yelled.

“Calm down,” Peter said.  “You know these guys.  They try to pinch your nerves.”

“Pinch my nerves?  Give me a break, Peter.  Asking me about a solo project?”

“I can’t help what they ask,” Peter said.  “I swear, I had no idea he was going to throw that in there.  He was going to end with asking about the next album and when the tour picks up again.”

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” Johnnie asked.  “You better fix this, Peter.  If he prints anything about a solo project...”

“He won’t,” Peter said.  “I know Timmy.  He asks questions but he’s not a complete ass.”

“Just fix it.”

Peter stood and started scrolling through his phone.  He walked to the door and paused.  “Johnnie... I need you to relax for a little bit, okay?  I’m trying to work on a new deal with the label.  The last thing we need is to add to everything going on.”

“Everything going on?” Johnnie asked.

“Rick drinking.  Television broken.  Loud parties.”

“Don’t give me that,” Johnnie said.  “The label’s going to drop us because we’re loud?”

“I’m not saying that,” Peter said.  “What I am saying is that they’re looking for a mature, stable band.  It’s not like it was ten years ago.  You and I both know that.”

“Go call Timmy,” Johnnie said.  “Fix that mess.”

“Keep yours under control,” Peter said.

He left the room and Johnnie kicked the table again.  He started to pace a few steps and then let out a growl.  Jess watched as Johnnie flipped the table, sending his notebooks scattering.  The table hit the couch and rolled the guitar to it.

Jess stepped forward but stopped.  What could she say?  What could she do?

Johnnie finally turned, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry about that,” he whispered.  “It’s just...”

“It’s okay,” Jess said.  “Managers, right?”

Johnnie smiled.  “Just looking at you makes me calm down.”

“Good.  Keep looking at me.”

“Peter isn’t a bad guy.”

“I never said he was.”

“He means well,” Johnnie said.  “But he’s insistent that we change.  He’s so worried about the label...”

“It’s okay,” Jess said. 

“No, it’s not.  Not when magazines are asking questions about me like that.”

Johnnie sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  He moved towards Jess with speed, causing her to step back uneasily.

“I have an idea,” he said.

“An idea?”

“Yeah.  This place is crammed.  I can’t go away.  I can’t do anything.  Peter is hounding me about... this side project thing.”

Jess saw how Johnnie swallowed with regret.

“I don’t want anymore interviews, anymore questions.  And whatever the band is doing, that’s their life, not mine.”

“I agree,” Jess said.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“Okay.  Where do you want to go?  Won’t people recognize you?”

“Here, yes.  But not where I want to go.”

“Which is...?”

“I’ll take you home so you can pack.  Bring your laptop too.  We’re going to the mountains.”

“The mountains?”

Johnnie nodded with his eyes wide.  “I have a place in the mountains.  Secluded and quiet.  We could be there in time for dinner.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not at all.  Just me, you, and the mountains.”

Johnnie slid his hands into Jess’s and lowered his head.

“Come with me, Jess.  We can get to know each other.  Escape the world for a little bit.  Nobody can bother us.  Plus, I have to come back for the charity show.  Just for a few days.”

“You have everything we need?” Jess asked.

“Sure.  The only thing I need is you.  Come with me.”

“I noticed you didn’t ask me,” Jess said.  “You keep telling me.”

“Yeah?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Do you want a choice?”

Jess smiled.  “I think I made my choice... last night...”

Johnnie brought his lips to Jess’s.  They touched but he didn’t kiss her.  Instead, he said, “Me too...”

(14)

It felt like a secret operation as Jess ran behind Johnnie down the hall, holding his hand.  It was fun, innocent, and by the time they boarded the elevators, they were both laughing.  Jess worried that the elevator wouldn’t make it to the ground floor without someone trying to board the elevator. 

She was right.

They made it to the fourth floor when the elevator stopped.

Jess gripped his hand tight, wondering what would happen if someone recognized Johnnie. 

The doors opened and a man in a suit stepped in.  He turned, looked at the ground floor button, and did nothing.