All He Desires: The Complete Series (15 page)

"Yes, but having food reheated just because you’re afraid to try something new isn’t going to fix the problem. They could reheat it a thousand times, but if you refuse to eat it..." He shrugged.

Noting the disappointment in his voice, I took a sip of ice water and stared down the plate of fish. I’d had fish before, this was no big deal.
Fish sticks, you mean.
Same thing. It came out of the ocean. It had been cooked.
Just be happy he isn’t asking you to try sushi.
That was probably the next thing on his list.

Expand your palate.
I sighed and picked up a small piece of fish with my fork. Screwing my eyes tight, I dropped it in my mouth, swallowing before I had a chance to chew.

"That’s how you’re going to play, hmm?" Jake asked. "I want you to really taste the next bite. Let it sit on your tongue."

Ignoring the flavor of lemon and rosemary at the back of my throat, I took another bite, doing as Jake asked. At first all I could taste was the ocean water, but the longer I let it sit, the tangier it got. I decided to chew, surprised when the bite I had in my mouth wasn’t like the fish I’d thought of at all.

The texture was very similar to the steak he had in front of him, but it was also fish. I took another bite, savoring it just as much as the last one.

"Looks can be deceiving," Jake said with a smile in his voice. "It’s fish, but the taste and texture are different."

"What is it?"

"Swordfish. It’s a very meaty fish and doesn’t flake nearly as easily as say cod or haddock do. Question is, do you like it?"

I took another bite along with some buttered rice. "It’s okay, I guess."

"You guess?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Does that mean you’d try it again—be willing to try something new when I ask you to?"

"No slime?"

"No slime."

"I suppose I could be persuaded to try new things every once in a while."

"Good. Finish your meal, then we can talk."

* * * *

S
ometime between dessert and paying for our bill, Jake fell silent again. I figured he was just working up the nerve to talk about whatever he’d been hinting at earlier, but when I looked up to check on him, he didn’t meet my gaze. He didn’t even realize I was watching him until I reached across the table for his hand.

"You got quiet again," I said, canting my head to one side. "So, the stunt with the fish, you said it had something to do with my training?"

He nodded slowly, then as if he remembered why he brought me here in the first place, he came to life. "Not this week, but late next week, I need to ask you to do me a favor."

I inclined my head. "Anything."

"I just heard word from Master Devlin that Marisa’s pregnant."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. "Were they...was it planned?"

"I don’t think I understand what you mean."

"I mean...is that something they’d want?"

"Wanting and having are two different things. Regardless of if it was planned or not, Marisa will be retiring from doing demos at
The Limelight.
Devlin too. They asked me if we’d be willing to fill in while Marisa’s on leave."

Now it was my turn to wake up. "Wait a second. How far along is she?"
Because I sure as hell haven’t noticed anything different.

"A few months I’d imagine."

"And they continue to play?"

"Of course. Why wouldn’t they?"

"Isn’t it...dangerous? With her expecting and all?"

Jake frowned. "You've seen them play, right?"

"Of course."

"Have you really, truly watched them?" When I didn't respond, he said, "Has any of Master Devlin's actions ever left you to believe he'd be anything but gentle with her?"

I lowered my gaze and swallowed around the lump in my throat. "No. But how does that work?" Completely blown away with the fact that Marisa was with child just as much as she was still able to scene, I had no idea what to think.

"You aren’t asking for a lesson on the birds and the bees, are you?" Jake asked, his grin widening. "Because if you are, I can’t say I’m the best person to ask about that."

"I know how normal couples handle pregnancy, but how does it work...with us?"

Jake furrowed his brow. "We are a normal couple, Kira."

"You know what I mean."

He sighed. "Yes, I do. And pregnancy for those in our lifestyle works the same way as any other couple. There are changes they’ll have to make—sacrifices as well. But like most couples, the child is their biggest concern."

"What about play? Doesn’t Marisa...doesn’t she need it?"

All I could think about was the impact play she seemed to enjoy so much that I wasn’t sure how she’d be able to survive the next six to eight months without it. I hadn’t cared for the flogger at first, but through my training, I started to anticipate pleasure shortly after being flogged. In turn, that meant flogging felt good as well. But if Marisa couldn’t be flogged, what
could
she do? 

"Kira, the play doesn’t change as drastically as you might think," Jake said. "Listen. When a couple gets pregnant, they might need to change from their favorite position to something that makes her feel more comfortable, especially if she ends up being the kind of woman who gets extra horny while she’s with child. Play works the same way. Her tastes for it might change, and they may not. Even so, Devlin will make sure the activities they take part in are safe for both her and the child."

"I’m sorry, I just don’t understand," I said, unable to wrap my head around it. "After she has the child, they won’t even have time to—"

"Kira, stop this." Jake’s tone caught me off guard. "You’re looking at this the wrong way. They’re just like any other couple. They have jobs—just like every other couple. They have every right to have and raise a child. And they will. More importantly, they won’t leave the lifestyle just because they have children. They’ll need to adjust, but..." he cut himself off, possibly trying to find the right words. "They can and will still play. There are safe ways to continue in this lifestyle without endangering the mother or the baby."

"Like what?"

"You want me to spell it out?" He sighed. "Ice, hot wax, even some impact play is safe. Nipple clamps as well, but only until maybe the second trimester, otherwise she’ll be too sensitive. But this all depends on the sub and how she feels while she’s pregnant. She might want sex all the time or none at all. Just like everyone else when they find out they’re about to bring a child into this world." Jake waved his hand as if dismissing the subject altogether. "But that isn’t why I told you about them. Devlin has asked me to demo in his place at
The Limelight,
and I accepted. But I need you to do it with me. I need you to be open to the idea of being in the spotlight instead of watching from the shadows. I know you’re more than capable of doing this with me, but it’s up to you."

I swallowed hard. "And if I refuse?"

"I’ll still be doing the demos, but with another sub while her Dom explains the bondage to our audience. I’m the most experienced with rope bondage aside from Devlin. You’d be in good hands, but I know this is a limit we’ve avoided more often than not."

"For how long?"

"Until we can find another couple to take our place, or until Marisa is able to play in public again. She could still play now, but some of the new Doms and subs coming in might not like the idea of a pregnant woman being bound and gagged. Can you do this for me?"

I looked at my lap. "Are you sure I’m ready?"

"Yes. I wouldn’t be asking you if I thought otherwise."

"And the crowd?"

"You won’t even notice them. I promise."

Running a hand through my hair, I closed my eyes. I’d seen Devlin and Marisa do the demo a few times in the past, and it had always intrigued me. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to do it myself. In front of all those people.

"Kira?"

Clenching my jaw, I said, "I can try."

"That’s all I ask. If you are unable or are unwilling to do so, would it be okay if I did the demo with another sub? You can meet her first, but her Dom isn’t ready to use rope yet—not on his own."

"Why are you asking me for permission to tie up another sub?" I winced at the last two words.
Another sub.
He’d actually considered playing with another sub.

It’s not like he’s having an affair.

Wasn’t it?

He’s already told you about it. He wants to make sure you’re comfortable.

I wasn’t sure that was a possibility at this point.

"I’m not asking for your permission," Jake said. "I’ll do this with or without you as it’s my responsibility to the community to make sure they take part in safe play. What I am asking you to do is to do it with me—just for a few months. I’ll be helping this other Dom on the side, that is, unless you’re okay with doing the demos until Marisa returns."

"I’ll try," I said again, my voice shaking the slightest bit. "I can’t promise much more than that."

"That’s all I ask."

He stood from his side of the booth and helped me out of mine. A little more unsteady on my feet than when we first walked in, I let him guide me back outside and onto the streets of Seattle.
The Limelight
wasn’t too far from where we were, so when he turned down a side street, I wasn’t far behind him.

You can do this, Kira.

I had to do it. I couldn’t let him down.

You won’t.

I feared by questioning him at dinner, I already had.

We kept walking.

L
eather, rope, charms and bands.
I added the dwindling materials to my shopping list and frowned at how different it was compared to when I first began. The feathers, sequins and other decorations were nearly forgotten, hidden in a drawer only to be brought out when I felt a piece needed that extra flash.

Selling my masks in town had taken off a lot sooner than we’d expected, and once one shop took off, everyone else wanted in on it. I honestly wasn’t even what customers did with my masks once they took them home. It wasn’t like there were a lot of costume parties around here, and I admit, the prices weren’t easy to swallow by any means.

The leather got more extravagant, thinner and came in different colors. I’d gotten used to the idea of braiding strands of it together into a stronger cord, almost replacing my need for rope entirely. I used sterling silver charms in place of sequins along with bits of turquoise to give the leather some extra pop. 

But the price of the materials wasn’t what increased my cost. I spent more than double the time on my lifestyle inspired masks than I’d done with the more festive ones. And people actually liked them. At first I made them because Jake had challenged me to. But then I started to enjoy it, and little by little, I moved away from the usual materials and spent more time looking through catalogues for just the right charm for any given project.

I was about to place a stack of masks inside one of my boxes when Jake stepped through the front door. He hugged his arms around me and nuzzled my neck.

"That the next batch?" he asked.

"It is." I turned around to face him. "But I haven’t written the receipt yet."

"It can wait until later. They don’t need them until Saturday, anyway."

I smiled and melted against him. While I didn’t mind the creative side of things, I was more than willing to leave the billing and customer interaction to him. For starters, everyone seemed to know him as soon as he walked in the door. Not only that, but I found myself incredibly shy when I thought of shopping my masks to someone else.

Jake had more than enough confidence for the both of us.

"Oh, I wanted to run something by you," I said, taking his hand so he’d follow me over to one of my work tables. I held up the beginnings of a mask along with a braid of leather cord. "What if I made it so the masks had matching collars for the sub who wore them?"

His brow knitted above his eyes as he gave it some thought. "In theory, it sounds like a wonderful idea, but in practice, I don’t see many in the lifestyle using the collar seeing as they may already have one of their own."

I chewed my bottom lip. "You’re probably right. I hadn’t even thought of them already having one."

"Now wait a minute, I’m not saying to scrap the idea completely. I could see this working if you meet with collared subs and made them a mask to match, as a commission of sorts."

I nodded. "That could work, but that causes an even greater problem if a Dom doesn’t want his sub discussing his or her collar with others."

"That it does. It isn’t a bad idea. It just needs some polish. Hold on to this though," Jake said, gesturing to the mask I had in my hands. "I may have a use for it."

"But it isn’t done yet."

"So finish it."

"What are you planning to do with it?" I placed the mask on the table, ignoring it for the moment.

"I’m not sure just, but I like this." He held one of the turquoise stones between his thumb and forefinger. "It’s a wonderful contrast to the black and grays of the leather."

I checked the clock above the counter then looked back at him. "You’re home early."

"We have plans, remember?"

I closed my eyes and drew in a breath. "I do."
Not that I'm ready.

The
My demo at
The Limelight
had gnawed at the front of my mind all day. Most days I could lose myself in my work, but today proved to be exceptionally difficult, and Jake's reminder only made matters worse.

Jake rubbed my shoulders. "You’ll do fine."

I winced as he worked out a few kinks in my back—the same kinks I was sure to have once the evening was over. "You keep saying that."

"And I'll keep repeating myself for as long as it takes. I promise you, it isn't as bad as whatever's going on in your head. That's your anticipation, and while I love making you anxious, I prefer doing it during a scene, not before. Now, go on and get cleaned." He turned me toward the door and swatted me on the ass. "We need to arrive early to get everything ready."