All I Need Is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans: The Tired Supergirl's Search for Grace (4 page)

He defied their control, their careful wording of questions, their rules and regulations with jokes and wittiness and love. The real people, the ones with their problems written on their faces and their sins flung out in the open, they adored him. Because they knew he was on their side.

I don’t think that God is into humiliating people. He gives us gifts and wants us to use them for his glory and purposes. But I do think that he wants us to recognize ourselves for who we really are. We are scared, imperfect people who desperately need him to fill our lives with his truth and clarity. We need the ability to accept ourselves and others without reservation, like he does. He never said, “Come unto me all you who are smart, who had time to work out, who know a bazillion Scriptures, and have all the problems of the universe solved. I’m prideful and I have a lot of expectations. I am perfect. Be like me. In general, you will be exhausted every day trying to live up to my example.” every day trying to live up to It goes something like this:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

Matthew 11:28–30

I never got that from Mrs. Prideful. I could never live up to the person she told me I should be.

Are you tired? Are you weighed down with the heaviness of life? Jesus wants to team up with you. The yoke he wants you to share is light, and if we let him, he carries most of the load. Because he can. He’s God. If we lean into him, knowing who we really are, in all our weakness, he will provide for us and care for us and teach us, because he knows who he really is. The Almighty. And how about some rest? He’d like to give you a break. We get to leave the trying and the pretending of being prideful and embrace the easiness of humility when we attach ourselves to Christ.

And now that Mrs. Prideful has been ripped from our earrings and been banished to her prideful lair, I think we will actually be able to hear what Jesus is whispering in our ears. That he loves us. Just as we are.

4

I WORRY
ABOUT THINGS

I
worry. A lot. I have some anxiety. I’ve been known to be filled with angst. I worry about our finances. All the time. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends and their struggles. I worry about pollution, wars, and conflict in the world. I worry about our church and the success of our ministry along with the fact that my house is never clean and the laundry never ends. I worry about people who don’t know Jesus and about the people who do know Jesus but don’t act like him. I worry about the strip of spider veins that wrapped itself around my upper thigh when I wasn’t looking.

Worry is an endless, vicious cycle. It is a game played in the mind, and we supergirls never win. There is always something to worry about. There are many, many things that are stressful and wrong in this world. It is, quite literally, all going to hell in a handbasket. Everywhere you turn there is some sort of conflict or crisis on a global level. If we take it down to tired supergirl level, the world that we live in and where we try to walk out our journey of faith, we are constantly hit by a barrage of inconsistencies, trials, and general mayhem. Relationships going awry. Stressful work situations. Financial burdens. Physical ailments. Plumbing issues. Fashion disasters. Church spats. It makes a supergirl tired just thinking about it. And that is what we do. Think. Ponder. Agonize.

Thanks to our good friend Worry Man. Here he comes to wreck the day! Worry Man likes to remind us of things we should be using our brain power on and focusing our emotional energy toward. Anything we can worry about, he will bring up. There you are, minding your own business, gingerly sipping on a latte, and BAM!

“I don’t think your mom likes your boyfriend. You better think about that.”

Or, “I wonder why your best friend didn’t call you this past weekend? I wonder if she’s hanging out with someone else. Huh.”

He likes to frame his thoughts with phrases like “You should be concerned about . . .” or “Have you ever wondered about . . .”

That’s all it takes to set our minds off into a frenzy of “what ifs” and “I thinks” as we create false conversations in our head and imagine different scenarios of how these situations will play out. Worry Man is trying to impress upon us that we have the power to change something with our worrying.

The other day, I was late getting back to my house. I was supposed to be at home baking scones and prepping coffee for the playgroup I had offered to host. Two other moms were coming. I was already a bit harried that I hadn’t swept the kitchen floor or picked up the toys littering our living room. At the time my friends Paula and Angie were supposedly arriving at my house, I was still fifteen minutes away from home. My mind began to race with all the things these two friends must be thinking of me, like how inconsiderate I was to invite them over and not be home when they arrived. Or how they would look with disdain upon my unkempt, crumb-covered carpet. Or how utterly disgusted they would be to find out there were no scones of any kind, not even a baggy of stale graham crackers waiting for them, when they were welcomed into my home.

This thought process escalated in my mind to an impending altercation.

I imagined Paula and Angie berating me for my thoughtlessness. I imagined how I would have to defend my actions, my dirty house, and lack of breakfast goods, maybe using some form of karate and the Jedi mind trick to get them to see how I hadn’t set out to intentionally ruin their morning. Mind you, both Paula and Angie are the most laid-back, gracious women you will ever meet. We laugh a lot when we are together and have never come to blows over a lack of pastry. I have never seen either one angry, let alone throw down over a late playdate. But that is beside the point.

Worry Man was working overtime in this tired supergirl’s head. He had me on the mat, pinned down by anxiety and frustration, and I was worn out by the time I pulled up into my driveway. Angie was standing by her car, holding her four-week-old infant. I jumped out, feeling a bit defensive and, above all things, worried.

“How long have you been waiting? I am so sorry,” I burbled on until she said, “Oh, I just got here.” At that moment my phone rang.

I answered to find out Paula was just leaving her house and wouldn’t be getting there for another fifteen minutes. It was all I could do to keep from collapsing on the couch utterly exhausted and emotionally wrung out. And all for no reason. No reason! They were both running late too, and seemed remarkably at ease with themselves, while I had been caught up in an emotional quagmire with Worry Man, rehearsing different angry scenarios in my head.

And so we come to the futility of worrying that Jesus addressed on the Sermon on the Mount. He talked to the crowd in a way they had never heard before. He talked about real-life stuff, not heady theology.

So I tell you, don’t worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn’t life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not.

Matthew 6:25–27

(And yet, worry comes so very naturally. We supergirls think worrying about things may add at least a little clarity to our lives. And we’re not really worrying . . . we like to call it critical thinking . . . or problem solving . . . after all, we are intelligent people.) Jesus continues:

And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!

Matthew 6:28–30

(But did Solomon have to worry about a good pair of jeans? We’re not sure how it all went down back then, but jeans are the staple our fashion life hinges on. They are far past utilitarian. We can dress them up. We can dress them down. Finding the right wash, fit, and style is enough to cause even the most worthy of us supergirls to worry.)

So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Matthew 6:31–34

Now that whole pagan comment. That’s a little bit hurtful. It suggests that the people who were supposed to be following God were caught up in the same worries as the people who were not following God, and here Jesus points it out. He asks, “Why?” Because they should have known that if they were following God with all their hearts, he would give them all that they needed. How is it that they got so caught up in the emotional struggle of worrying? Of losing precious thinking time and emotional energy on things they had absolutely no control over? Their worry would not change that. Now you would think that Jesus was speaking directly to a bunch of supergirls in this passage. Because here is where Jesus gets at the heart of the worrying issue.

Sometimes we supergirls think that God is not concerned with the details of our lives. We know that he cares about the condition of our hearts or any variety of heavenly issues. But when it comes to our daily living, like paying the rent or finding a good job or that last guy we dated, not to mention the right pair of jeans, that is something that doesn’t really concern God and we need to take care of that ourselves. But that is the exact opposite of what Jesus says. He strips it down to the most basic of necessities. What will you eat, drink, or wear today? Don’t run after it. God has already taken care of it. Just seek him, and everything else will be given to you.

While we are focusing all our thoughts on fixing problems, imagining outcomes, and replaying conversations that have already taken place, we could be communicating with the one who actually has the ability to make a difference in our lives. Jesus is telling us that what we need, God will provide.

Worry Man loses his superpowers when we run after God. It is that simple. Because when we worry (seeking answers in ourselves), we end up where we started. With ourselves. But when we look to God (seeking answers in the creator of the universe), we find an endless supply of answers, miracles, and wisdom that we cannot access any other way. Worry Man says, “Wait, come back, let’s think about next week and all the problems that are facing you.”

And you say, “I have heard that God even cares about tiny birds, and he meets all their needs, so I think I’ll hang out with him and let him take care of next week.”

And the beauty of it, tired supergirl, is that he will. It may look different than the outcome you imagined in your head. In fact, it probably will blow you away. That’s just how he likes to work things. And just in case you are wondering, he even takes care of playdates that have gone awry. So there, take that, Worry Man.

5

I FORGET THERE IS NO
MORE CONDEMNATION
IN CHRIST

R
ene and I were chatting last night. She is another supergirl trying to keep it real and follow Jesus. We were talking about grace . . . which we would like to have. And peace . . . which we know we should have truckloads of. And freedom from condemnation . . . because that would just make life a lot more pleasant. We would really, really like to get rid of all that condemnation. But we just can’t let ourselves. We grew up in church, we know the rules, and we are just too good at knowing how bad we are.

Condemnation. It’s all about justice and getting what we deserve. Condemnation is about death. We sin. And the penalty for sin is death. But we’re not talking about early Bible times, with the-whole-tribe-of-Israel-knows-your-sin-and-takes-you-outside-of-the-city-walls-and-stones-you condemnation. This is the twenty-first century, for goodness’ sake. We’re talking about mind-numbing-if-you-only-knew-me-and-what-I’ve-done-and-how-I-fail-every-day condemnation, where we die small deaths all day long because we know we will never live up to the perfection of Christ.