All I Need Is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans: The Tired Supergirl's Search for Grace (9 page)

And truly, we supergirls want to set things right as well. It is in the poor treatment of ourselves or of others that we supergirls are moved to anger. Nothing gets us steamed like when we see someone shamed or made fun of. Or when we are told we are less than we are. Or when we see a picture of a starving baby, pitiful and crying. We get furious. Violence against women? We are maddened. Children being molested? A seething, righteous anger pierces our hearts. And in these moments the voice of our Redeemer is loud.

The Instigator is saying, “Let’s tear this place up.” jesus is saying, “Let’s make it what it was meant to be.”

While the Instigator wants us to spend our anger on the pettiness of life, Jesus is inviting us to join him in using our anger to make life better. And while the Instigator would love the daily wrongs that rub against us to ignite into a raging fire, Jesus is wondering if we could let go of the anger that damages those around us and invites us to be angry with him about the things that matter. He would like us to get good and mad about babies that are too skinny, kids that have never met their dads, and people dying without knowing who he is. He is hoping we will rage against poverty, injustice, and people being mean to each other. And he would really like us to be a part of the solution.

Paul says it this way in Romans 12:21: “Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.”

Jesus would love for us to do some good. To love some hurting people. And help some babies get fed. He would especially like us to give someone a glass of water or a piece of chocolate in his name. And then he would really appreciate it if we could conquer some evil. He promises to help us. And I think we can do it. After all, we are supergirls.

11

I AM UNDISCIPLINED

I
would like to be able to tell you that I am disciplined. I would like to say that I have self-control. I would like to say that I am never late, I meet all expectations, I finish projects in a timely manner, and if I set my mind to something, I get it done. I would like to say all those things. But I would be lying. Instead I must say that I am usually late. This I blame on my children. I rarely meet my own expectations, and I am probably lacking in the area of others’ expectations of me as well. I tend to procrastinate. On a regular basis. I struggle to keep committed to things like proper sugar intake and craft kits. I have a needlepoint pillow I began soon after I married. I now have three children. It is still incomplete. I have such good intentions. I really do want to live my life in a way that is excellent. And yet when it comes to following through, I am found lacking.

Take my exercise program. I know I need to exercise at least three times a week, more if possible. I know I need to be completing some kind of weight-bearing routine to keep myself from becoming a poster child for osteoporosis. I know that exercise gives you more energy and can help with depression. So really, exercising not only benefits you but the people you interact with. I know these things. And yet my knowing these things does not necessarily translate into my doing these things. My current exercise program is that I buy exercise videos. I don’t actually do or even watch the videos. I just buy them. I have a nice row of shiny new DVDs lining my bookshelf. I see the infomercials on TV and I think,
Oh, that looks fun! I could do that. And they lost
twenty-three pounds in only four days. The other five exercise
videos I bought from the last five infomercials actually
required me to exercise. But this one looks like I don’t really
have to exercise. I just have to dance around in cute workout
gear and then I will look like that peppy cheerleader-type girl
who is leading the class.

Scott drew the line when the Perfect Gym arrived at the door. He could put up with me buying a few videos here and there, but when I purchased a piece of workout equipment that required three easy payments of $69.95 and claimed to give me abs of steel and thighs like a Greek goddess, all while folding down to a manageable size that could fit under my bed, he looked at me and said, “You know you’re sending that back, right?” that back,

“Yes.”

“Good. I’m glad we’re clear on that.”

Because he knows that I am not serious about exercising. I would have been paying three easy payments of $69.95 to store something under my bed. I really want to be serious. I know it is good for my health and if I don’t start lifting weights soon, I will lose all bone density and could possibly have one of those humps on my back when I am eighty. Why is it so hard to commit to something that is so beneficial? So life changing?

I’ll let you in on a little tired supergirl secret. Exercising is hard. And you sweat a lot. It requires stomach muscles and focus. Those are two things I am generally low on. After birthing three children, I don’t have any stomach muscles left. I am core-less. My biceps are okay since I tote small children and giant baskets of laundry around all day, but if you asked me to run a mile, I would collapse with hideous side cramps after a block or two. And yet I still long to be fit. I want to be strong and have energy and ward off depression. But really, what I would like more is to have all the benefits of exercise without having to get up off of my couch. If I could figure out a way to do this, I would.

Really, I would.

We tired supergirls would like to receive the benefits of living a disciplined life without actually having to discipline ourselves. While we may do fine at disciplining our children, setting boundaries and objectives, it is much more difficult to say no to ourselves. We would love to say no to ourselves— really, we would. Starting tomorrow. But as for today, this supergirl really needs that fat rich piece of chocolate heaven sitting in a pool of raspberry puree, topped with a dollop of real whipped cream. Who cares that your arteries are clogging just breathing in the aroma of all that chocolate goodness? The foil of the disciplined life is the Procrastinator. He agrees with you that discipline is important and that it really would add to your life. He just thinks you don’t need to worry about it right now. Maybe next Thursday, but today you should go right ahead and indulge yourself. He says things like, “Oh for goodness’ sake, don’t worry about the money. It will all work out in the end. Bankruptcy is not that big of a deal.”

Or, “Bible reading is overrated. Just get one of those mugs with a Scripture verse on the side and drink your coffee out of it. That works just as well. Start your Bible reading plan next Tuesday. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Or in my case, “It is quite possible to be in fantastic physical shape while remaining totally inert on your sofa. You are completely prepared to compete in a triathlon if you
wanted
to. You just don’t
want
to. That’s all. You can start exercising in the summer. That will give you the next six months to build up to it.”

The Procrastinator would love for us to remain exactly as we are. He would like to stunt the growth process, whether it is spiritual, physical, or emotional. He is against all kinds of things that require planning and foresight. He wants you stuck in the here and now.

Any runner is a planner. You may see people jogging around the park, footloose and fancy free, or so you think. But they are jogging with a goal in mind. Whether it is one mile or five, there is a course that they set out upon; they pace themselves and they go for it. Maybe they are training for a marathon or maybe they run every morning to keep their blood pressure down, but I guarantee you that the whole time they are running, they are not thinking,
Hey,
this is fantastic. I had no idea this was going to happen. I am
running. The wind is in my hair. The pavement is slapping
beneath my feet. I feel great.

There are moments when they do feel fantastic. There are moments when the endorphins kick in and there is no other place on God’s green earth they would rather be. But then there are the moments when the blister begins to form on the back right heel and each step feels like fire. Or there are the stabbing side cramps that come from not getting enough oxygen on a cold winter’s morning. Or there are the moments when they think,
Why am I not sitting by the fire,
sipping a latte right now?

The body begins to speak loudly, and it is up to the spirit to say, “I am doing this for a reason. I am pressing on for a reason. I am continuing this painful process for a reason.” The goal outweighs the momentary suffering. And that only comes from being disciplined. From being able to see past the momentary to the eternal or at least to next year. This runner is running because she knows that what awaits her at the end of the run is far better than what awaits her if she sits on her couch and watches exercise infomercials.

Being disciplined is not so much denying ourselves the things that we like as it is about adding to our lives. Discipline enables us to do more. To be more. Because if you can run one mile this week, you will probably be able to run two next week. And if you put one hundred dollars into savings each month, you will more than likely have some savings at the end of the year. And if you are able to say, “No, I will not have that chocolate piece of heaven with raspberry puree and whipped cream loveliness, even though it has my name engraved on it in chocolate sprinkles,” you may be able to keep yourself from the diabetic heritage that precedes you. When we supergirls are disciplined, we are not denying ourselves, we are investing in our future. And despite what advice the Procrastinator spews our way, it is a good thing to begin investing today. Not tomorrow or next Wednesday or four leap years from now, but today.

Paul looks at it like this:

Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24–27

Paul talks about disciplining himself so that he can share the gospel to the best of his ability. He knows that if he wants to achieve his goal of reaching the Jews, the Gentiles, the oppressed, the free, he has to set his sights on a goal. The prize. If not, he is going to miss out. He has to train himself to do what he should. Which brings to mind the thought that self-discipline is not something that comes naturally to Paul either. Which I find to be encouraging to us supergirls who become so easily distracted from the prize at hand.

It seems discipline is not something that just springs up within the breast and is easily obtained. Could anything be more difficult than saying no to something you truly long for, like hot chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven, a sparkly shirt on sale, or just thinking of yourself instead of considering others? No, I don’t think so. It goes against the grain to think long term instead of short term, which is the very essence of discipline. It is not easy to practice self-control. Discipline is unnatural. It is not in our nature. But when we ask Jesus to come in and change our lives and make us more like him, that can change. make us more like him, that can change.

Peter talks about it like this:

As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature.

So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness.

2 Peter 1:3–6

We tired supergirls do not simply decide one day that we will live a life of discipline or that we will exercise self-control in our lives. It begins with faith, pure and simple. When we believe in Jesus, we get to share in his divine nature, which is so very unlike our own nature. He alone gives us the power we need to live a disciplined life. As we begin to cling to his promises, we get to know God better. Knowing God leads to self-control.

This is exactly what the Procrastinator is afraid of. He is vastly afraid that we will get up off of our proverbial couch and tap into Jesus and his divine power. Because if we do, then for goodness’ sake, we might be able to live the life we were designed for. We will be able to see the prize for what it is. We will be able to see past the momentary temptations to the eternal goal. We will be able to run with endurance and with strength. His strength. And we will be able to finish this race, this path that has been set before us with integrity and—do we even dare say it—victory. And that is far better than a chocolate piece of heaven. Even with a dollop of whipped cream on top.