All I Want (7 page)

Sensitive

“Okay, you win. Hands down, this is the best homemade bread I’ve ever eaten.” Carly took another bite, savoring the warm bread with the butter melting on top. “How did you get it so crispy on the outside and so light and airy on the inside?”

“Callahan secret,” Sean replied, smirking at her and looking way too sexy for a man who’d just baked a loaf of fresh bread for her.

His mother’s care package had arrived on Tuesday morning. Sean said that since he knew he was going to have so much, he really wanted to share it with her…if she wanted to. Of course she did. But she wasn’t ready to go to his house yet, so he brought it all to hers.

Last Saturday, after everything was moved exactly as Brynn wanted it and Isabel cooked a feast of food, the entire group of Alec’s family and friends, along with their spouses, showed up to relax and hang out for a little while.

Carly had never been one for big crowds before. Even though she was a teacher and around people a lot, they were little people in her mind. Children that looked up to her, that needed her and her guidance. She had no problem communicating with children—that came naturally to her.

Adults, not so much. Brynn was easy. They’d known each other for years and could talk about anything. But the rest of the group intimidated her. Not just their social standing, but also their sheer size, both as a group and individually.

Thankfully, Sean stayed by her side all night. Almost like they were a couple, just like the rest of the group. Of course, they had only been on two dates, but still, they felt like a couple to her, and everyone treated them as such, too.

Not to mention, she’d never thought she’d feel comfortable in a group of large and intimating men, but having Sean next to her made it easier somehow.

The Harper men were all a few inches over six feet. Brynn’s brother-in-law, Ryan Mathews, and his brother, Lucas, were taller than the Harper brothers. And Lucas’s brother-in-law, Mac Malone, was the same height as Lucas. But the biggest of them all was Jack Reynolds, friend to everyone there. He had to be over six foot five easily and was just huge. Carly kept her distance from him. He was way too quiet and unnerved her too much, even though his wife, Cori, was tiny. And it did seem like Cori had Jack wrapped around her finger. Either way, Carly, still stayed away.

By the end of the night though, Carly had relaxed enough to not jump whenever Jack talked. That was a big step in her mind. Again, she kept fighting the urge to leave with all those big men around her. Yet she stayed. She hated to say they all seemed harmless to her, but they did.

A voice inside her wouldn’t relent. The bigger a man was, the meaner he could get, and the faster he could snap. She’d seen it enough, so she made sure she was aware at all times what was going on around her.

She’d wished the kids were there. She would have enjoyed them again, like she did at Brynn’s wedding. But she understood that everyone wanted a night without their children for a short period of time. Working around kids all the time, she knew adults needed their time alone too.

When some of the couples with families decided to leave, she got up too. Sean had stood up with her and walked her out. Next to her car again, he kissed her with as much heat as he had earlier. This time she looked around to make sure there were no witnesses.

Then she went on her merry way. That night in bed, she’d found herself thinking more and more about Sean. How he felt in her arms. How he made her feel.

Safe. She’d used that word before with Brynn. But after he stayed by her side all day, she’d felt it even more. She felt positive he had no idea why she was skittish around the men. But he stayed by her side, and somehow his presence relaxed her and let her enjoy her time with everyone.

On Sunday morning he’d called her. “How’d you like to go for a ride across the state border to Vermont and look at the fall foliage?” She’d thought it was an odd suggestion coming from a man. Not that she didn’t love the changing of the seasons, but she’d never known a man to make that suggestion for a date.

“I’d love to.” Anything to spend time with him. So he picked her up, they went for a ride, had a nice late lunch, talked the entire time about things in their lives and then he brought her home.

Of course he didn’t leave before he kissed her again. He traced his finger along her jaw. “You have the most delicious looking mouth,” he said before lowering his head. She was getting addicted to his kisses. His lips so soft and tender, his grasp of her so firm. Such a contradiction, and yet she found herself craving more of it.

She’d never liked being held so tight before. Or caged in. But he’d done it a few times against her car the day before, and against the wall right then. Surprisingly she found it more arousing than fearful.

Yesterday morning he’d sent her a text after his mother called him regarding her care package. She’d been teaching when the text came in, so she didn’t see it until her lunch break, but she didn’t hesitate to accept.

So here she sat, eating delicious home-baked bread with a nice salad. Not just some lettuce thrown in a bowl with tomatoes and cucumbers, but tons of vegetables mixed in.

Reaching for the salad dressing, she asked, “Do you really like a salad this much? Or was this to impress me?”

He laughed. Such a soft little chuckle. She was learning it was his way of saying “caught.” “I’m not sure I would say I like salad a lot, but I eat it. Remember, working in a pub I’ve seen my fair share of dishes. Women like salads loaded with stuff. At least that is what I learned, or my sisters have said enough times.”

This time she laughed. He was a good sport about it all with his sisters. As much as he joked about them calling and bugging him, it was always said with love. She could see that. “Well, I appreciate it. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I guess the same could be said for a woman.”

He looked startled for a moment, and suddenly she realized what she said and quickly amended, “That came out wrong. I’m not saying you’re trying to get to my heart. I mean, no, I’m not saying you are trying to woo me.” She covered her face with her hands. “Forget it. It always comes out of my mouth differently than what’s in my head.”

“Don’t worry. I knew what you meant. Why do you always get so paranoid when you think you say something I might not like?”

Getting worse and worse. Now she really needed to change the subject, and fast. Shrugging as nonchalantly as she could, she said, “Sorry. I just stumble around adults, I think. Comes from spending too much time around kids. That’s what Brynn always picks on me about.”

His smile led her to believe he was buying what she was saying, which was good.

Halfway through their soup, which she had to admit was the best potato and ham soup she’d ever had too, Sean’s phone rang. He looked at the caller and winced, then pressed the silence button. “Everything okay?”

“Sure. It would be rude to answer the phone on a date. Don’t you know that?” he asked, joking with her.

“Not if it’s important.”

“It’s not, trust me. It’s my mother.”

“Oh. Maybe you should get it.”

“Nope. I’ll call her later. Besides, watching me talk to my mother is a surefire way to diminish my manhood in your eyes.”

There was no way he could do that, not to her, but she wanted to know. “Why’s that?”

“Trust me. My mother will find a way to get me to say something foolish or ‘sensitive.’ Again, being around women for so long.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a sensitive man.”

“Really? Do you like that quality?”

She’d never really seen that quality in the men she dated, but she’d always thought she’d like it. Part of the reason she dated men more her size was she hoped they might be a bit more sensitive and less manly. But all she learned was that they often felt the need to make up for their size by being more controlling. “I might like it.”

“You don’t know?”

“I’m waiting to see it. Why don’t you try it out on me and let me decide?” She had no idea where that statement came from, but the way he threw his head back and laughed had her cringing. Again, she put her foot in her mouth.

“No, don’t start to apologize for saying that. I can see the look on your face. I laughed because it was cute. And you know what—maybe next time I’ll show you how sensitive I can be. I can do that without you having to witness me on the phone with my mother.”

That he knew she was going to apologize was a little unsettling. He’d obviously figured her out pretty fast and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. He didn’t give her a chance to comment on it though, because he asked her something she didn’t feel comfortable talking about, at least not fully. “So, are you close with your mom?”

She hedged. She was close with Trisha Springfield, just not in the same way Sean was with his mom. “Yes, we’re close. We’ve had only each other for a long time now.”

“You mentioned she lives with your grandmother, and that you did too when you were in school. Do you mind me asking about your father? You’ve never said anything. I wasn’t sure if maybe he passed away?”

Nope, her father was still alive. Unfortunately. And yep, she minded if he asked, but she wasn’t going to say that. Sean didn’t need to know specifics, at least not this early in a relationship. If they even had one. Nor did he need to know anything in depth about her mother. She tried to smile through the memories. “Let’s just say that I didn’t grow up with the same family dynamics that you did.”

“My family is pretty great, but they can be overbearing at times too. I guess we’ve all got horror stories we could share about family.”

She knew he was trying to make light of her comment. He’d seen right through her, she could tell. But she pretended that she didn’t notice, or that she wasn’t feeling any type of anxiety over the topic right now. Horror stories—he didn’t know the half of it.

Mother’s Soup

It’d been two days since his date with Carly. After he left, he called his mom. Well, not right after, because he needed time to get his body under control.

He was trying to go slow with Carly, but it was killing him to do it. She wasn’t making it easy on him, either.

She was just so reactive to him and his touch. Like petting a kitten, she always snuggled up to him for more, seeming to never get enough. He wouldn’t call her needy, not really. That seemed harsh to him. But it was more like she needed him. Which was better than needy, at least in his mind.

And he was fine with her needing him. He was more than willing to offer himself up to her at any point. All she had to do was give the sign. Only he wasn’t sure if she would, or if she had been and he was missing it.

Normally a good reader of people. He wouldn’t be doubting himself so much, but the few things he’d been able to read with Carly so far were when she was embarrassed over something silly she said, when she was holding on to him, and when she was trying to hide something.

He saw right through her when she was talking about her family, but he didn’t push. It wasn’t his place or the right time. She was nervous and clearly trying to hide something except he had no idea what. So what if she had a dysfunctional family? He sure the hell grew up in one. Most people did.

After he got his body under control enough, he called his mom. Because really, there was nothing worse than talking to your mother when you were thinking of taking another woman to bed.

“Hi, baby. How was my soup?”

Fighting the cringe over his mother’s endearment, he replied, “It was delicious as always.” Of course his mother knew he would eat it that day.

“There should be enough there for a few meals for you. How many cookies did you eat?”

She still wanted to know if he ate more sweets than his meal. “There are still plenty of cookies left, but not so much soup.”

“That’s a good boy. Save those cookies for later. How many beers did you drink?”

“Not one. I’m saving them for later too.”

“Oh really?” she asked slyly and he knew her mind was racing, quickly putting together the pieces. “Not a lot of soup left, and you didn’t touch the beer. So, did your date like my soup and cookies?”

“She did. Said it was the best she ever had, and I believed her.”

“I hope you fed her more than my soup and cookies. You better have done me proud and made a proper meal out of it,” she scolded him.

“You raised me well. I made her bread and a salad to go with it. She was duly impressed with me, just like I wanted.”

“So when do I get to meet her?”

“No time soon, so get that out of your head.” He was on to her. Not happening, not yet. Not until he had a better grasp on things.

“Can you tell me her name at the very least?”

“Why? So you can call the girls and then everyone can start sending me messages asking about her?”

“They’re going to anyway when I call them after we hang up. Don’t you think it would be easier if they referred to her by name, rather than ‘your date’?”

She had a point. “Carly. Carly Springfield. And before you ask, I’ll tell you she teaches fourth grade. That’s all you're getting out of me. It’s more than I planned on saying, but you always find a way to get information.”

“She sounds like a lovely young woman.”

“Just from her name and occupation you can say that? What if I said she pole dances at night and on the weekends?”

His mother laughed, just like he knew she would. She was used to him saying things like that. “If she did, then you wouldn’t have fed her your mother’s soup. You would have enjoyed her and pushed her along when you were done.”

Shit, he hated how she was always right. “Tell Dad thanks for the beer. I’m going to have one right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

She humored him, he knew, and just ignored the fact he blew off her statement. “I will. Have a good night. And tell Carly that I’ll send some of my minestrone next.”

***

At work, thoughts of Carly had Sean standing up from his desk and walking down the hall.
Knock, knock, knock.

Brynn looked up from her computer at Sean standing in the doorway. “Hey, Sean. What’s up?”

“I have the contracts that you needed for the  tenants.” He held his hand up with the five  contracts that current tenants had renewed on their rental properties. He walked in and handed them to her.

“Thanks.” She reached forward and grabbed them, then placed her hands on her desk. “What else is on your mind?”

There was no use denying that he wanted to talk to her. He didn’t need to knock on her door and deliver the contracts. It was worth a shot talking to Brynn. “I think I might have upset Carly. Or maybe made her uncomfortable.”

“What did you do?”

“Whoa there, pit bull. Back down from the fight.” He had no idea what caused Brynn to almost jump out of her chair, but that was a first he’d seen her like that. Maybe coming in here wasn’t a good idea. She was ready for battle, just waiting to pounce.

“Then tell me what you did to upset her.”

“I don’t know for sure if she was. Maybe she was just uncomfortable, but she tried to hide it, only I kind of caught on. All I did was ask about her parents,” he said, trying to assure her.

“Oh,” Brynn said, then relaxed back in her chair. “What did she say?”

“Not much. We were talking about my mother, so I asked if she was close to her mom. She said she was, but it was the way she said it. Still nothing major, I just got a weird vibe from it. Then I asked about her father. That’s when she started to look uncomfortable.”

“And what did she say to that?” Brynn asked, tilting her head to the side.

He wasn’t sure he liked the way Brynn was looking at him. Now he knew there was something going on, he didn’t know what and didn’t know how to find out. Not without coming out and asking, which he knew wasn’t going to give him any answers. “I just asked if he had passed away since she’s never mentioned him. I knew she lived with her mother and grandmother and that was it. She said he didn’t and then joked about not having the same family dynamics as I did growing up.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“I just don’t think she was being honest with me.”

“Does it matter right now? I can tell you she isn’t lying to you if that is what you’re worried about.”

“I didn’t really think she was. But I still feel like she was uneasy when I brought it up.”

“She probably was.” Brynn held her hand up when he went to talk again. “It’s not my place to tell you about Carly’s childhood. That’s for her. But her father has been out of her life since she was ten. She hasn’t seen him since then, and I’m pretty sure there has been no communication either. In her eyes, he probably is dead. Still, no worries, she is being honest about him in that respect.”

“Okay. I just don’t want to offend her or say something to upset her. I can’t be sure not to do that if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“That’s sweet that you’re concerned this early on. You’re a good guy, Sean. I know I bust on you, we all do, but I think you’re good for Carly.”

“Wow, did I just get your approval?” he asked, smirking.

“You had it, or you would have never gotten a second date once I found out about the first.”

“How’s that?” He was clueless as to why she was saying that to him, or how she could have prevented it.

“Trust me. I know Carly well, and I could have said some things that would have changed her mind.”

He didn’t like the look she was giving him, and he wished he knew what she would have said. He was pretty sure she didn’t know anything bad about him in terms of women. Hell, he never did anything to warrant negative comments in regards to that. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“So now that that is settled, how is everything else going? Four dates, right?”

“Does she tell you everything?”

“I wish,” Brynn said. “I haven’t been able to get any details out of her, nothing more than your drive on Sunday and dinner on Tuesday. Whatever secrets you two have are safe with her.”

No secrets to share. He wished he had something juicy to hide, but nope. Not yet. That did bring him to another thought though. Carly had said he could try out being a sensitive guy with her. He really wasn’t sure what that entailed, and he definitely didn’t want to ask his sisters. Since Brynn was Carly’s best friend, maybe she would help. “Tell me something about her I don’t know.”

“Excuse me? Didn’t I just say she doesn’t tell me anything about you two? Why would I share something about her?”

“Sorry. I want to do something different for a date. I just meant something she likes to do that maybe she wouldn’t think to bring up. Not a girlie thing, but something that maybe she wouldn’t mind doing, but would never think to ask.”

“Okay, now that is really sweet.”

He tried not to wince at the tender look Brynn just sent him. He guessed that was part of the sensitive side he was worried about showing to Carly the other night. Maybe there was something behind it, but he would rather think of it as considerate. “Don’t bust my balls. I just thought I would do something other than a typical night of going out to eat.”

He didn’t care for the smirk that just came to her face. “Well, she loves the theater. You could always take her to the Performing Arts Center for a play or something.”

He’d rather sit in a meeting with Phil and Alec all day long. On a day when it was raining out, and Alec was antsy and couldn’t sit still. Seriously, he should have never brought this up. “What else does she like?”

Brynn laughed at him. “Sorry, your face was priceless just now. Don’t worry, she’s asked me to go before and I’ve had the same reaction. She goes all the time so don’t think anything of it. There are a bunch of teachers in her school that are into that stuff. Me, I would rather work on the house than go to the theater.”

Sean knew that about Brynn. She was more basic. She wasn’t the type to get dressed up and do fancy dinners and parties and plays. That was a good thing because Alec was the furthest from that of all the men he knew. He should have known Carly would be into that though.

“She likes to do crafty things,” Brynn added. “All sorts of crafts. She is always knitting something, or painting a picture, making jewelry. She grew up doing those things with her mother and grandmother. I like to build things with wood and nails, but Carly likes to build things with softer materials. Maybe that will help.”

“Thanks. That does. I’ll figure something out.”

“Sean,” Brynn said when he turned to leave.

“Yeah.”

“I meant it earlier when I said you might be what she needs. So that means don’t mess her up either. Decide where you think you want to go or where you want to be if you haven’t already.”

He nodded and walked back to his office. He’d already decided. His mother was right—he would have never fed her his mother’s food if he hadn’t already decided. He’d dated women a lot longer and never even mentioned much of his family, let alone fed them his mom’s soup.

Something about Carly made him not even hesitate though. Her sweet nature, her kind soul, her tender side. All the things that he never knew he would find so attractive in a woman were now on the top of his list of things he couldn’t do without.