All I Want (11 page)

Sam’s mom looked at Carly, almost willing her to leave, so Carly nodded her head and walked to the door. “He wants to see you. Don’t argue.” Even though Carly turned the corner out of the room, she heard the rest, as much as she didn’t want to. “What did you say to her? Don’t tell your father you were talking to anyone, please.”

There was nothing Carly could do. She could see the signs all she wanted, but she couldn’t help anyone unless they came forward and asked, or unless she saw enough evidence to call the authorities. In this case, she had nothing, so her hands were tied.

“Carly, wait up!”

She turned as she walked out of the security doors to see Ben Harper jogging up to her. She didn’t even know he was in the unit. She fought not to slouch or appear nervous; there was no reason to be. He was Presley’s husband, Brynn’s brother-in-law. He was a nice guy, and he had gone out of his way to talk to her on numerous occasions and make her feel comfortable. “Hi, Ben.”

“Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Sure,” she said, hedging and wondering what this could be about.

He led her down a different hallway that had less foot traffic. “It’s a little quieter here. I saw you were in with Sam Murray just now.”

“Yes.” How’d he know? She could see the doorway and never saw him walk by or heard his approach.

“Can you tell me what is going on there?”

“What do you mean? I was helping her with her math.”

“No, not the math. With her family life. I’ve been watching her. I stop in and say hi, and I’ve been watching her mother’s reaction to it all. I don’t need the other nurses to tell me what they hear. But you just spent more time in there alone than I’ve seen anyone else do. I know you volunteer at a women’s shelter, you see and know the signs; tell me it’s not what I think.”

She was going to ask how he knew those things about her, but then remembered she had to fill out volunteer forms, which were complete with her education and experience, not to mention a background check had been run on her. It was easy enough that he’d know, though she was surprised he would take the time to look it over personally in his position. It seemed there was no reason to ask what he was talking about. “I’m afraid it is, but I have no proof.”

“Sam didn’t say anything?”

“No. It took time for me to even get her to talk to me about school. But the mannerisms are all there with her, and even more so with her mother. Did you know there is a younger sister in the house?”

“No. No, I didn’t. So you got something more at least. I’m going to keep a better eye on things. The father doesn’t come in often, so I don’t ever seem to catch him.”

“He is today.”

“How do you know?”

“Sam’s mother said he was getting out of work early and stopping over. Sam acted like she didn’t want him to. I don’t think I was meant to hear any of it. It was said quickly as I was leaving. I’m used to picking up on whispered words.”

Ben nodded, a cold look coming into his eyes. “Thanks. I’ll be around then. I’ll take care of it.”

Carly’s eyes went wide. The look on Ben’s face made her pause. As much as she tried to relax around him, his demeanor and stance was nothing like the funny, carefree guy she’d seen before. This was the type of guy she did everything in her power to stay away from. Avoid, if not run from.

“Relax, it’s not like I’m going to corner him,” he said, smiling, and suddenly he looked friendly again. A big grin on his face, one even reaching his eyes. “We want the same thing. The kids come first.”

“Yeah, yeah they do.”

Growing Up

“So what’s this I hear, you’re hanging out with Ben Harper on your day off?” Brynn asked later that night.

“What? How’d you hear?
What
did you hear?”

Brynn grabbed the wineglasses out of the cabinet and poured them each a glass. Carly was thrilled when Brynn called her earlier and asked if she could come over for a drink, saying that Alec was going to be late and she wanted some girl time. But now she was thinking maybe it wasn’t such a great idea. “I heard you were trying to steal Presley’s man.”

“What?” Carly shrieked and coughed. She really shouldn’t have taken a sip of wine before Brynn made that statement.

“You should see your face right now. It’s priceless.” Brynn bent over laughing, so much so that Droopy lifted his head up from his bed to see what the noise was all about.

“Not funny. You even scared your dog, laughing so loud,” Carly said, frowning, fighting her grin caused by Droopy’s confused look.

“Sorry, Droopy, but that’s what you get for running over to Aunt Carly and ignoring your mommy a few minutes ago.”

Carly laughed; it was true. When she walked in the door, Droopy ran over to her faster than she’d ever seen him move. He’d obviously missed her. She’d picked him right up, gave him a little cuddle and let him bathe her face for a few moments, then pushed him away. Puppy breath was still okay to her, but only in small doses. “Anyway, how did you know about Ben?”

“Nothing scandalous. Ben called Alec at the office to ask him something, and then he asked to speak to me.”

“Why did he want to talk to you?”

“What, I’m not allowed to talk to my brother-in-law? Geez, Carly, when did you become a man-hater? Here I thought Sean was loosening you up.”

Now what did Brynn know? “Okay, you’re making me nervous here. First, stop joking and tell me about Ben, then explain the comment about Sean.” She hoped to hell Sean wasn’t telling people about what they did last weekend. She’d thought she was a better judge of character than that. If he was telling people, then that was it: they were done. That was drawing the line in the sand, strong and firm, just reaffirming her lack of trust in men.

“Relax, Carly. I’m sorry. I’m just joking. You look upset,” Brynn said, softening her tone and looking pretty distressed.

“Just tell me, please.”

“It wasn’t anything important. Not what Ben talked to me about. It had to do with his house. They want to make some changes and Alec told him to talk to me first to get an idea of what he wanted so I could work it into the schedule. Then he just mentioned you were there today.”

“Did he tell you anything else?”

“No, why?
Are
you trying to steal him? Did you push him in a supply closet and have your wicked way with him?” Brynn asked, excited, with laughter in her voice.

Carly snorted. “Ha, ha. You of all people know better. Men like Ben make me run in the other direction. The fact that I stayed and talked to him is an improvement to what I would have done a year ago.”

“That’s true. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be picking on you about it. I just forget sometimes, you know.”

“Yeah, I do too. Then something like today happens and it brings it all front and center again.” Carly hated remembering the feeling deep in the pit of her stomach when teachers and nurses, even school counselors asked how she got the bruises on her arms. Or how her mother broke her wrist
again,
or worse yet, questioned the fat lip or black eye her mother was trying to hide behind sunglasses in the middle of the winter
.
And finally, why she missed so much school and never had a doctor’s note. They didn’t need to know that those times her mother was too weak or too hurt to get Carly ready for school, let alone drive her there.

“What happened today? Talk to me. Maybe it’ll help.”

“Nothing major. I just saw myself today in a little girl. Bits and pieces. Really, the emotional abuse on her more than anything. It’s not hard to miss when you lived it. Then her mother came in—the bruises and scars on her arms that she was trying to cover, along with the timid meekness.”

“Things you’ve seen and lived with,” Brynn finished for her.

“Yeah. I tried to get the little girl to talk, but she wouldn’t. I guess Ben had seen the signs too and said I’d spent more time with Sam—that’s the little girl’s name—than anyone else has been able to. Alone with her, that is. He suspected the abuse and wanted me to confirm it.”

“Did you?”

“I just said that I believed his suspicions were true and that I knew the father was stopping over tonight. What do you think he’ll do? I have to tell you, I didn’t care for the look on Ben’s face when he said he’d take care of it.”

“I can imagine. There are things about Ben I don’t know and don’t want to know. But I wouldn’t worry about it. He wouldn’t do anything illegal. But if he says he’ll take care of it, you can bet he’ll do something.”

Carly nodded. There was nothing else for her to say right now about it. It was out of her hands and she couldn’t stress and worry about it. It wouldn’t help Sam and it wouldn’t help Sam’s mother. “So what about Sean?”

“What about him?” Brynn asked, taking a brick of cheese out of the refrigerator along with some grapes. “You want anything else with this?”

“No, that’s good. I’m not that hungry. You made a comment about Sean loosening me up. Why did you say that? What has he told you?”

Brynn stopped and looked at Carly’s face. “Why is your face red?”

“It’s not,” she argued.

“Since I’m looking at it, I’m telling you it is. What happened? Did he hurt you?”

This time Brynn was looking angry and Carly softened. Brynn always had her back. “No. But I want to know why you said that. What did he tell you about us?”

Brynn relaxed, finished cutting up the cheese, and said, “Nothing. We don’t talk that much about you. I think he’s afraid of me.”

“I doubt that.”

“I don’t know. He came into my office a while back and said he was afraid he upset you. I all but jumped across the desk and laid him flat. You know I can do it too.”

“He never upset me. Why would he say that? Did he tell you why he thought that?”

“Once he told me to calm down and stop looking ready for battle, he explained that you two were talking about your families and he asked about your father.” Brynn stopped and reached for her hand again, giving Carly a little squeeze. “I didn’t tell him anything, don’t worry. But he sensed your unease and he was afraid he’d upset you or at least made you uncomfortable.”

She shouldn’t have been surprised that he sensed that in her. He seemed to be able to read her like a book. “What specifically did you say?”

“Nothing more than confirming he has been out of your life for years. You haven’t seen him in twenty years and that was it. I did say you probably were a little uneasy over the topic, but for him not to worry.”

“He accepted that?”

“He did. No worries. So enough talk about that. Give me the good stuff. Have you stripped him naked and pounced on him yet?”

She was going to kill him. “He told you!”

“What?” Brynn said, laughing hysterically. “No, he didn’t tell me anything. But did you? Did you really? Oh my God, Carly, did you really strip him and jump him? I’m so proud of you.” Brynn wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. “You’re growing up before my very eyes.”

“Stop it,” Carly said, not able to stop the laughter at this point. She shouldn’t have doubted Sean. She shouldn’t have thought or assumed he would blab about what they did behind closed doors. But it wouldn’t be the first time she’d been talked about. Only before it was about her being cold and timid. She wasn’t sure which was worse at the moment. Thinking she was weak in bed, or a wild animal. Either way, she wasn’t letting on.

“So tell me; you didn’t answer the question.”

“I’m not telling you anything. You don’t tell me about you and Alec and I don’t want to know,” Carly rushed out to say. “It’s private. You work with Sean. No, I can’t tell you anything. I can’t. You would just bust on him about it.”

“Protest much, Carly? You’re acting like I’m twisting your arm to tell me. Like you want to tell me and just need an excuse,” Brynn said, tilting her head to the side.

Did she? Was Brynn right? Did she want to say it? Maybe she did. She was
proud
of herself. Even more so that Sean said she was amazing. No, she couldn’t do it. It was too personal. She’d just got defensive thinking he’d talked about it. She couldn’t do it, no matter how much she wanted to right now. “Nope, my lips are sealed.”

“Here, have some more wine. Let’s see if I can loosen those lips up.”

“No, one glass. I have to drive home, you know?”

“If you didn’t have to work tomorrow you could stay the night. Just like the old times.”

“Yeah, I know. We had fun for that whole month you lived with me before you ditched me for the new house in the development. Then moved right on up to this gorgeous house on the lake with the boss you slept with.”

“Oh, you bitch! But that was funny, and you deserve a pass. Consider this your lucky day.”

Later that night lying in bed, Carly thought about her day helping the kids. It fulfilled her in a way that she needed.

Then watching Brynn and Alec together when he got home made her feel like a heel for the amount of jealousy that filled her. Seeing Alec come home to Brynn at the end of the day, watching her welcoming him and telling him she’d throw together a quick meal for him. Those were the things Carly wanted to be doing for a man of her own.

She wanted that life. She wondered if she’d ever see it. It was like looking though the toy store window and running her finger over the glass, hoping to touch all those wonderful things she’d dreamed of having and knowing it may never happen.

Only for once, one of those wonderful things in the window was actually touching her back. Maybe, just maybe she could get what she’d always wanted.