All I Want Is You (10 page)

              “So are you coming over or not silly guy?”

              “As long as you’ll have me I’ll be there.” he said. We talked a few more minutes before wrapping up the phone call. I would see him later it was no need for us to be cup caking on the phone all day plus I had to get back to work. I only had a few more hours to go before my day would be officially over.

              It was six o clock and I was so happy to be free. With traffic I knew it would take me at least forty-five minutes to get home so I decided to play my music.  My music definitely put me at ease. It really helped me cope with everyday life. I was finding my happy place again and I had to thank Renzo for that but I was starting to feel like I needed a little more. I wanted a man one that I was able to go to bed with every night, and one that was able to kiss me and wake me up every morning. I wanted to have the talk with Renzo but I didn’t want him to feel like I was putting any pressure on him so I decided to push my feelings to the side and just go with the flow. If it was supposed to happen I truly believed it would. My music stopped because the phone begin to ring. At least this time I didn’t have to screen the damn call.

              “What’s up ma?” I said as soon as I picked up the phone. There was so much noise in the background I couldn’t make out what she was saying.

              “Wyatt and Jacob are going at it Renee. I’ve already called the cops but I just wanted to let you know. They're gonna kill each other. Can you get here quick.” My mother said and then the call was dropped. I tried to call back but each time I got the voicemail. The traffic was thick as hell but I really needed to get to my mother’s place to see what the hell was going on. I didn’t understand why Jacob couldn’t take a damn hint. If I wasn’t done with him before I was sure enough done with his retarded ass now. The entire way there I was freaking out. I called Daria but I don’t know why I did that because she didn’t make the shit no better.

              “He’s what! Oh hell no I’m on my way over there now.” She fussed.

              “No Daria, don’t take Drake over there that’ll only make things worse.” I said.

              “Bitch who said anything about Drake. Drake ain’t even finna know about this here run plus I don’t need him I got Ms. Princess in tow.” She said. Ms. Princess was Daria’s purple pistol. That bitch never let the house without that got damn gun. She would always say its better to be safe than sorry.

              “Just don’t do anything until I get there please. This nigga is really losing it.” I said. I was speaking more to myself than I was speaking to her.

              “I told you not to give that old peon ass nigga no play. He’s not even a nigga in your league so I don’t even know how that shit happened. He’s a downgrade from--”

              “I don’t want to talk about that Daria damn. You know I’m trying to forget about that shit and you want to sit up here and bring that up. Damn man, you know I hate being in my feelings behind that bullshit I have enough going on over here.” I said. The tears slowly slid down my face. I don’t think I ever received the proper closure from that relationship. He was really a good dude but I wanted a bad boy. That’s what the fuck my stupid ass got for going after something I knew good and got damn well I didn’t need. I had everything I needed with him but I wanted to have my cake and eat it too and now he was gone forever. I saw on Facebook that he was getting married in St. Thomas next year. I couldn’t say I was happy for them but I couldn’t say I was sad either. I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy but damn I wanted to catch a break too. They said Karma was a bad bitch and well I guess I was finding that shit out first hand.

              “Renee, they got the fool in handcuffs.”

              “Damn you there already, I’m getting ready to pull up now.” I said as I released the call. When I arrived they had both Wyatt and Jacob sitting on separate curbs in handcuffs. My mom and Daria was standing in the driveway talking to one of the officers. I walked over to Wyatt to try to understand what all took place.

              “Hey sis.”

              “What’s up Wyatt, what the fuck happened here?” I asked. I was kinda scared to find out the answer because I knew that Jacob was the cause of this shit. He was the cause of a lot of heartache and pain within these past two years. I had never dealt with anything this toxic in my damn life.

              “You know what happened. Your little fuck boy nigga came over here on that dumb shit. He came banging on momma’s door scaring her and shit. I was around the corner when she called and I rushed over here and I mean the second I stopped the car the nigga was banging on my window asking where you were. Even if I knew I wasn’t gonna tell his retarded ass so he got mad and tried to bust my fucking window. I got out the car and that nigga swung on me. I blacked out after that.” He said. He took a deep breath probably trying to calm his nerves. I understood fully that nigga made everybody nerves bad.

              “Damn, I’m sorry Wyatt. I don’t mean to drag you into my shit. You got kids and Lisa and well I just feel bad.” I said.

              “Lisa left me a few weeks ago. I’ve been staying with momma I told her not to tell you. I fucked up for real sis. This chick is claiming she’s pregnant.” He said. My brother really did look stressed the hell out. I was usually always against him because he was always doing wrong but he had just come to my defense and on top of that he may have been getting hauled off to jail so I couldn’t kick him while he was down. I really felt sorry for my brother. It seemed like every since our father died he lost track of what was important. I knew his death affected him more than it affected me for the simple fact they were so close but he needed to grieve properly and move along. Carrying all that burden around with him wasn’t good and it would only continue to hurt him in the long run.

              “Damn I’m sorry I’ll talk to her. Let me see what’s going and who’s being charged with what.” I said before getting up and going to my mother. Of course if Jacob had anything to do with it that wouldn’t be happening.

              “So this is what I have to do to see your fucking face. You haven’t taken my call in weeks. What’s-”

              “Sir we have told you already to be quiet. We won’t tell you again.” The officer said. He seemed like he was very annoyed with Jacob and I didn’t blame him hell I was annoyed too.

              “Can I have a word with him?” I asked the officer. He looked at me to see if I was sure that was something I wanted to do and I nodded so he moved over a few steps enough to give us a little privacy but close enough to where he could get to me if he needed to.

              “Jacob what’s up? What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked.

              “Renee I’m just trying to talk to you and you are completely shutting me out.”

              “Can you see why Jacob. Look at this shit. You coming over to my moms causing all type of commotion and shit. We can’t do this Jacob. I know I’ve said I was done before and we had our slip-ups but I was dead ass serious when I told you a few weeks ago I was through with you. I can’t do this anymore. I want better and I deserve better. I’ve been sitting around in my feelings for far too long but it’s time for me to do me and the things that make me happy.”

              “Bitch so you think fucking other niggas is the way to go. If I wasn’t in these got damn cuffs I would--”

              “That’s enough. Ma’am are you okay?” The officer asked. I nodded but I wasn’t. Jacob was so cruel to me and I had been nothing more than be good to him. It was niggas like him who made it hard for the next nigga that came along. I used to think Jacob and I could really have something but the past year had been nothing but an up and down roller coaster. I wanted to press charges on his evil ass but I decided to let life deal with him but I was definitely done. I was washing my hands with that fool.

I walked over to my mother who grabbed me in for a hug. After the police got their statement they let my brother go and the hauled Jacob’s ass to jail. They also towed his car since it was parked in my mother’s driveway and she didn’t want it there. We sat around talking for about an hour before Renzo called and said he was on his way. Today had been very eventful but I knew that laying under Renzo would make me feel better. It always did. His presence put me at ease as much as I didn’t want to admit it Renzo was all that I needed.

Chapter 14

Jessa

              Renzo wasn’t lying when he said he was serving my ass with divorce papers, but I wasn’t making it that damn easy for him. I felt like he didn’t even try to fight for us, and I wasn’t feeling that shit. He really left the house taking majority of his belongings with him, and the things he didn’t take, I fucked up, because I was so damn upset with him. I didn’t know where he was staying, and he half ass answered the phone for me these days. This was definitely a new Renzo, and I didn’t like it one bit. I may not have been the same woman I was before, but damn, he didn’t give me a chance to prove to him that I could be that woman again.

              “Momma, I’m bored.” Raven said, jumping up and down in the bed. This little girl was really driving me crazy. I don’t know how other people did it, but kids wasn’t really for me. I tried to call Renzo so that he could come and get this brat of a daughter that he created, but of course, he didn’t answer, so I caved and called his mother. There was no way in hell I could go all day with Raven. She answered on the third ring.

              “What is it Jessa?”

              “Hello mother-in-law.”

              “Mrs. Waters. What do you want little girl?” She said. None of Renzo’s people really cared for me, and they made it very evident, but I didn’t know why. I had never done a thing to nobody, but for whatever reason, they always made me feel like the outsider.

              “I need a break.” I said. I didn’t give a damn that Raven had just come back home yesterday. It was time for her little badass to leave again. I would ask my parents if I could, but I couldn’t, and for very obvious reasons.

              “Jessa, that’s nothing new. You always need a break. What is going on with you? You don’t have any responsibilities over there, but the few you do have, you feel as though you can’t handle. You know what? My son is better than me, because I would’ve put your ass out and kept my damn house. Jessa you already know how I feel about you, so we don’t even need to speak on that, but you know what? Just pack her bags; she can come stay with me until you’re ready to grow up and be a damn mother.” She fussed. I wasn’t trying to hear all that shit. I just needed to know if she was going to keep her or not, and if not, I would drop her ass off to the got damn office. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, and I needed her out of my damn hair.

              “Thanks, I’ll be by there shortly.”

              “I’m sure.” she said right before the line went dead. I didn’t give a fuck what nobody said. I was doing Raven a favor by getting her away from me, because I could really snap at any time. No one really understood my pain, because I kept it all bottled in, but I really didn’t want to put Raven in harm’s way, so my best bet was to have her stay elsewhere.

              Packing her some clothes, my very active three-year-old was going crazy. It’s like she had no chill. If she wasn’t talking, she was running around the house, if she wasn’t doing that, she was screaming at her imaginary friends. If she wasn’t doing that, she was blasting the TV. I mean, the list of shit just went on and on.

              “Raven sit down!” I yelled, scaring her. Immediately, she begin to cry. I went into the restroom and closed the door. I needed a second to myself. About five minutes later, I felt a little better. I walked back into the room where Raven laid across the floor sleep. I picked her up and put her in the bed. I stared at my baby girl, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I was a complete mess. I really needed to get myself together. I held her close and cried myself to sleep as well.

              Waking up a few hours later, I finished packing her things and dropped her off. Mrs. Waters didn’t have much to say to me, and that was completely fine. I didn’t give two shits. Her speaking to me wasn’t going to make or break me. I called up my girl Tasha, and even she was too busy to hang with me, and that definitely had me feeling some type of way.

              “What you doing Tasha?” I asked, as soon as she picked up the phone.

              “Zeek stop baby. Girl, I’m getting ready to go get some drinks with him. What you got going on?” she said. This was the longest Tasha ever kept a nigga around, and I couldn’t lie, I was a little shocked and jealous all at the same time. Here she was, all happy and shit, and things around me were falling apart.

              “What about Gucci?”

              “What about him? That nigga didn’t want me, so I found a guy that did. Ain’t that right baby?” she said. They were probably being all nasty in the background, and I didn’t want to hear that shit. I ended that call just as quickly as I started it. I thought about going to visit my parents, but I already knew the war that was sure to start. I decided to scroll through Facebook. Since I was being nosey, I decided to stop by my husband’s page to see if he had made a status or something since he hadn’t taken any of my calls in the past few days. He hadn’t posted anything, but there was something that stood out to me on there. He was tagged in a date night post with some chick name Renee Flowers. I clicked on her page, but of course, that bitch was private, and from the profile picture, I couldn’t really get a good look.