All I Want Is You (6 page)

Chapter 8

Jessa

I had a very eventful day, and I was tired as hell. After my spa day and shopping until I dropped with my girl, we decided to go out to eat. Tasha chose Willie G’s Steak and Seafood since it was literally around the corner from the Galleria mall, and that was cool with me. I could always go for some steak and shrimp. See, a bitch like me had very expensive taste, so steak and shrimp was really all I ate.

“So when are you going to tell Renzo the--”

“There is nothing to tell him Tasha, damn. I wish you quit bringing the shit up already. Renzo and I are good.” I said, taking a sip of my wine. I ordered the most expensive bottle on the menu. Who cares? It wasn’t like it was my money anyway.

“Yea, okay. That’s what your mouth say.” Tasha spat.

“You know what, you really need to get you some business.” I said, taking a bite from my food.

“If you would quit playing and give me Gucci number, I would have some damn business, but until then, I’m going to be all up in yours.” She said, sipping from her wine as well. Tasha had been trying to get with Gucci for the longest. Gucci was Renzo’s best friend. He owned two barbershops, one in fifth ward, one in spring, and he also had a clothing store. He had all the hottest gear in there, and I couldn’t even knock that nigga’s hustle if I wanted to.

Tasha had approached Gucci on more than one occasion, and each time, that nigga shot her ass down. The last I knew, Gucci had a little situation going on, but I don’t know how serious they were. To me, that nigga was a true asshole, and he only spoke to me and kept it pushing. I didn’t care for him too much, but he was my husband’s best friend, so I tolerated his black ass. Plus, he had been around longer than me.

“Girl, you are a grown ass women. I have no control over what happens with you and that man.”

“I want his ass in the worse way ever. Do you know that, fucking with that nigga, I would be set man. I would be just like you then.” She said. We both shared a laugh. We finished dinner, and it was only seven; I wasn’t really ready to go home.

“You want to stop by Swagger?” I asked Tasha. Swagger was this lil’ spot right off of Southwest Freeway and Weslayan. It wasn’t too big, but they played cool music and the drinks were always on point. Plus, it was Friday, so I was more than sure they had a nice little crowd around this time of day.

“Girl, you know I’m with it. It’s not like I got a man to go home to.” She said. With that, we made the ten-minute drive to Swagger, and just like I thought, the place was already packed. It was people standing around outside, but I couldn’t really see what the crowd was looking like on the inside. This wasn’t no place you had to dress up and have on heels and shit, so I felt perfectly fine going in there with my sweat suit on.

“Damn, this bitch packed already. We gotta park all the way around the damn corner seems like.” Tasha fussed.

“Well, bitch, do you want to go up in here or not? It’s not like a bitch can pay for valet.”

“I know. I’m not tripping about going in there. I’m just saying look how far down we are.” She complained. Just as I was driving to park around the corner, I saw a car pulling out. I hurried to reverse the car and grabbed their parking spot.

“Is this better for you princess?” I said, looking at her as I parked the car.

“Haha, real cute. Come on, let’s go get our drink on.” she said, opening the door. Before we could even walk into the building, niggas was trying to holla at us. It was crazy; I was a married woman, but I loved the attention I received from other men. Sometimes, I would tell them I was married, sometimes I wouldn’t. Hell, it depended on my mood, and today… well, it just wasn’t one of those days that I felt like sharing that information.

Renzo and I never really wore our rings; I guess the trust was there. I didn’t trip on him for never wearing his, and he didn’t trip the few times I did take mine off. It probably didn’t matter to him anyway, because I had his initials stamped on my ring finger. I was a happily married woman; I just didn’t always feel like talking about it. Sometimes, I liked to converse with another man who wasn’t my husband. Did that make me a cheater? I didn’t think so.

I wasn’t having sex with anyone else or nothing like that, although, I should’ve been, because my husband was not serving the dick lately. Something was going on with him, but I didn’t know what it was. Lately, he just didn’t seem like the same man that I married. Seemed like we didn’t even talk anymore, and as much shit as I talked, I was in love with my husband. He provided for me in a way that no one else had. I didn’t think there was another man in Houston that could do for me what my husband did for me, so there was no reason for me to even look elsewhere, but that didn’t stop men from trying.

“Can I buy you ladies a drink?”

“And who are you?” I asked. I looked that nigga up and down, and I couldn’t lie, he was cute. He was tall, standing at about six-feet even, yellow-boned, with a taper fade and some deep ass waves, but again, I wasn’t really looking. My man was probably at home waiting for me.

“I’m Zeek; can I get y’all a drink or something?” he asked again with a smile. That nigga had the deepest dimples, but I was good. I wasn’t interested.

“Nah, we good.”

“Bitch, speak for yourself. I’ll have a shot of tequila and a Cîroc berry with cranberry.” Tasha said. I shook my head. We said one drink, and this bitch was ordering shots and shit. I would leave her ass right here with this nigga, no lie, because shots always had her ass acting crazy.

“You sure you don’t want anything lil’ momma.” Zeek asked again. I told him I was positive, and he walked over to the bar to grab Tasha’s drink.

“Bitch, you taking shots and shit? I promise, I’m not dealing with you and that shit tonight.” I said, as soon as Zeek was no longer in earshot way.

“You don’t have to, boo. I’m gonna tell that nigga to bring me home.” She said. I just shook my head. Although I did love my husband, I can’t lie. Sometimes, I was a little envious of Tasha. She lived life without a care in the world. She never had to answer to anyone or anything like that. She came and went as she pleased. She was her only responsibility, whereas I had to think about Renzo and Raven. I sighed, because I never really had a careful life. Renzo and I had been together so long I wasn’t really able to release everything I wanted to release, so yes, sometimes I was a little jealous that I wasn’t able to do everything that Tasha could do.

Zeek walked back with two drinks and two shots. I had already said I didn’t want anything, so I assumed the drinks were for him and Tasha. I was going to let them have at it, and I was getting ready to make that hour long drive home before Zeek stopped me.

“Where you going lil’ momma? Have a drink with your friend before you head out.” He said, handing the two drinks to me. Tasha smiled, we said cheers, and we took the shot. I stayed around throwing them back a little longer than expected, but it was at the expense of Zeek, so who really gave a shit? We stayed around drinking, laughing, and listening to the music, until I felt like it was time for me to go. I said my goodbyes, ensured that Tasha was good, and I left.

Making it to the house in record timing, I noticed that Renzo was already home. I looked at the car and noticed that the back end was fucked up like he had an accident or something. I went into the house and walked into the bedroom where I found him sitting up watching highlights on ESPN. I smiled once I saw my chocolate Adonis. Those drinks had me feeling myself, and honestly, I needed a release. I walked over to him and tried to kiss him, but he stopped me.

“Go brush your teeth Jess. Your breath smells like straight liquor, and you already know how I feel about that shit.” He said. His face showed pure disgust. Renzo did not like when I drank; he said whenever I did, I acted like a completely different person. I went into the restroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth. After I was done handling my hygiene, I came out and climbed into the bed with him. I was trying to straddle him, but again, he stopped me.

“Man, what the fuck is wrong now Renzo? You have been denying me sex for the past few weeks now, and I’m not understanding why. Are you fucking somebody else or something?” I asked, getting frustrated with him. I knew how much my man liked sex, and like I said, lately, that nigga had been very stingy with the dick.

“Girl, get out of my face with that dumb shit.” He said. Just like that, he was trying to dismiss my conversation, and I wasn’t feeling that shit. I wanted to talk about it.

“Baby, talk to me. What’s wrong?” I said. I was desperate. Not only was I desperate, but I was horny, too. Renzo turned the TV off and looked me straight in the eyes. I could tell whatever he wanted to say was serious so I was sure to pay attention to my husband I mean he was still the man of the house.

“You want to talk Jess let’s talk. I’m about to be really honest with you and at this point I’m not even giving a damn how you take it.” He said. He looked at me again as if he was waiting for me to speak, but I sat there silent trying to see which way this conversation was going; I surely wasn’t expecting his next response.

“I want a divorce.” He said. I looked at him with big eyes. Whatever liquor was in my system before was surely gone now. I definitely wasn’t tipsy anymore. Had I heard my husband correctly? The tears fell before I could even respond. I was so confused… What the hell did he mean a divorce?

“Wait a minute, what? I didn’t even know we were having serious issues. What do you mean you want a divorce? I’m not understanding.”

“Jess, baby girl, who are we fooling. I haven’t been happy in the past year. You don’t do shit that you used to do. On the cool, I’m starting to feel like everyone was right about you.” He said. That shit really set me off. No longer was I crying; now I was pissed.

“What the fuck you mean everyone was right? Right about what Renzo? You talking in circles homeboy.” I said. When I would get really upset, I tend to talk a little different, and Renzo hated that, but for whatever reason, he found the shit funny.

“Watch how you talk to me Jess. I’ve had enough of your shit. You walk around like you single and shit so go fucking be single. I’m not asking you to be here, nor am I begging your ass to stay. You don’t cook, you don’t clean, all of a sudden you don’t like sucking dick, your ass don’t want to take care of your own daughter. I mean, the list goes on and on. I’m tired of this shit. I’ve given you time to get your shit together, but you haven’t done anything to make me happy, and that’s real talk.” He said, getting up from the bed. I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t really know what to say to make him stay. He was throwing too much on me at one time.

“Baby wait. Can we talk about it please? I don’t want to be single. All I want is you.” I said, trying to get him to believe me. I wasn’t lying when I said he was all I wanted; I just didn’t mind having the extra attention.

“All you want is me, huh? Ok, well explain this.” He said, as he showed me a picture on his phone of me laughing with some guy at Swagger. I couldn’t even tell him his name if he asked, so why the hell was he tripping off of this little stupid ass picture. It really looked worse than what it really was.

“That’s nothing, me and Tasha went to have a few drinks tonight, and that guy asked my name. I told him and end of discussion.” I said. He looked at me and shook his head as he walked into the closet and pulled out some clothes.

“Wait, what you doing baby? You about to leave? You know I hate staying in this big ass house all by myself.” I pouted. Usually, whatever I wanted, Renzo would just take the bait, but I knew that nigga was mad; he started throwing his clothes into his Louis Vuitton duffle bag. That nigga wasn’t playing no games. As he packed his shit, I cried. I had royally fucked up with my husband, and I didn’t even know where to start to make it right.

“I need a break from this shit Jess. I love you, but I need some space.” He said, walking out of the door. All I wanted was my husband; everything else was irrelevant. I started to call Tasha and talk to her, but then I remembered she was with that dude probably somewhere getting fucked right now. I started to call my mother, but then I remembered she was going through issues of her own, so I would just have to figure this shit out by myself. Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep that night.

Chapter 9

Gucci

              "Good looking, bruh. I'm finna come through there for a minute. I needed to get out of that house before I killed that bitch." Renzo said.

I totally understood where that nigga was coming from, because Jessa was playing games. I sat in the back of Swagger watching her ass openly flirt with the niggas in there. Call it a bitch move if you want to, but I was looking out for my boy, who I had been friends with since birth. I took out my phone, snapped a picture, and sent it to his ass. It didn’t make it look no better when Zeek said he was going to holla at them, and she begin to chat with that nigga along with her thot ass friend. I didn’t like the either of those chicks, and I had my reasons.