All In (17 page)

“We haven’t had our meeting yet. Why?”

She looked at the ceiling and then back at him.

“Well, um…” Cass was chickening out. He was looking at her so earnestly.

“Casita. The new client is Casita Health Group.”

Her heart broke a little as his face fell, a cold veil replacing the mischief present just a moment before.

“Mad?”

“Well, that’s a kick in the shin,” he sighed.

She said nothing. She just watched him as the weight of what she told him sunk in.

“It’s fine, Cass. It is. It’s not like-“

“He put me on as Sales Lead. I’ll be working with their management, and-“

“What?” Maddox’s cold veil melted into hot anger. Oh, shit.

“I’m going to be working with their management to develop a plan, and-“

“Hell no.”

“Maddox-“

“No. No. No. That fucker. I’m gonna-“ Maddox stood up, practical upending his desk.

“Stop, Mad. Just stop,” Cass blocked his path to the door. “Think. Please, just think,” she stroked his cheek, forcing him to look down at her pleading eyes. He called them her Doe Eyes, though Lo nicknamed them Sad Puppy. They were brown, wide, and apparently had a way of softening the hardest of hearts. Cass didn’t know about that, but she did know the emotion behind them was real.

“If you go out there now, he’s sure to figure us out, and that is exactly what he wants,” she explained, her voice soft, soothing.

“What about what I want?” he grumbled, his fisted hands flexing and unflexing at his sides.

“Pounding in his face does nothing. It just gets us all fired.”

Maddox growled, but at least stomped over the the couch before sinking into it. Cass breathed.

“I need to do this job and do it well. I’ll do what I can to keep you out of it,” she continued as Maddox leaned back, his neck stretched over the back rest. Her anxiety was running rampant, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to run her tongue along the Adam’s apple that bobbed when he swallowed.

“I know.”

“Sweet stuff, I’m sorry.” She sat down next to him, letting his heat comfort her.

“Cass, there is so much you don’t know there, and I-“

“There is nothing, absolutely nothing, she can say to make me walk away from you,” she assured him, taking his hand in hers and tracing the lines of his palm.

She knew there wasn’t anything Dr. Marissa Paul could say to her that wasn’t worse than what Cass would say to herself, and hell if she’d let anyone else dictate who she dated. She’d dealt with jealous exes before, and she’d had boyfriends go back to those exes after they’d dated. But if things didn’t work out between her and Maddox, the thought making bile rise in her throat, it would be because of her anxieties, not because of some stupid doctor bimbo who never appreciated what she’d had. Because Maddox was amazing, and she didn’t need anyone else to tell her that.

T
here was everything
his cold bitch of an ex-wife could say to make Cass walk away from him, and icy fear stabbed his heart. He’d been prepared to battle Cass’ internal voice. He knew he could best that, but his ex-wife? His manipulative and vindictive ex? Well, that was another story.

There was a reason Maddox hadn’t stayed friends with Marissa. After the divorce, she’d weave his way back into his life anytime he started to get serious with a woman. It was uncanny how her radar worked, and even worse, how well her manipulations got to the women he was with or how they wove their way through his psyche. It wasn’t like Marissa wanted him back. She’d moved on with her new husband, and they had two boys that seemed to make her happy. But somehow, for some stupid reason that only made sense to Marissa, she didn’t want anyone else to have him.

And what the fuck was Phil thinking? He’d been right there every time Marissa fucked him over, and now he allowed this? Marissa’s company had approached Maddox a dozen times to handle their website, and Maddox always turned them down. He’d set them up with a friend’s company, and he thought they were happy. So why the change now?

Fucking Phil.

The move was ridiculous payback for the website redesign. Well, if Phil wanted to sign his death warrant, this was a great way to do it.

He leaned into Cass. He knew they were at work, and it was dangerous, but he needed to touch her. He needed to let her warmth rid him of this cold dread.

“Honey, let’s go home,” she whispered into the top of his head as he wrapped his arms around her. “We can curl up, watch a movie, maybe make some dinner.”

She sounded so normal, but she knew. His heart was being torn to shreds, and Marissa hadn’t even gotten her claws into Cass yet.

All he could do was nod.

* * *

T
he ice
in his bones didn’t wane when, on the way home, he got a text from Marissa. “You excited to work together? Just like old times, huh?” was all she said. He almost threw the phone out the window. Fuck her.

Cass didn’t miss the tension.

“Sweetie, sit down,” she instructed, as she stripped him of his suit coat and he took a seat on the couch. She straddled him from behind, and before he could protest that she should be straddling him from the front, those glorious fingers started kneading the stress knots from his shoulders. He couldn’t suppress a moan as his body turned to jelly at her ministrations.

“Mmmmhmmm,” she hummed as her thumbs worked through another knot in his muscle. The vibration going straight from his back to his cock, which was now pressing against his pants. But he’d deal with that later. Right now, he was enjoying her heavenly ministrations.

“Tell me about her,” she whispered as he found himself at the mercy of her hands.

He stiffened, but she met the strain with another press, release, press of her fingers.

“It doesn’t matter,” he moaned again as she found a particularly tight muscle next to his shoulder and coaxed its release.

“Oh, I think it does,” her voice stern but comforting all at once.

“Fine,” he sighed, “But you have to stop.”

“Stop what?”

“This.” He grabbed her hands and pulled her around front. “I can’t associate your magic fingers with her, okay?”

She gave him a pitiful look, but nodded, sitting in his lap and putting her head on his shoulder. God, he didn’t want to do this.

“We were married as soon as she finished med school,” he started. This wasn’t easy. “I thought she was perfect. Well, perfect in the sense that she was beautiful, smart, and would be an asset to my career. It never dawned on me that I should want more than that. I was Maddox Paul. I graduated top of my class at Brown. I was rising through the ranks of my company faster than any other executive. I was at the top of my game, and I needed a top notch wife that wouldn’t need much from me. I thought Marissa was that person.”

He took a breath before continuing, no longer looking at Cass. He was too afraid of what he’d see there. “She wasn’t warm. She wasn’t really affectionate, and she never demanded anything of me. It was easy. I had a gorgeous trophy who cared just as much about my pretty face as I cared about hers. I thought that was what marriage was.”

“But your parents, Maddox! They’re madly in love,” she interrupted. And she was right. His parents were madly in love, but they weren’t high powered executives. They were teachers. True love in his position was dangerous and uncommon. Most couple respected one another, but that deep, all-encompassing love like his parents had? He thought it impossible.

“I know, but Cass, the people at the top, it’s not like that for them. I couldn’t…I wouldn’t destroy someone I loved by bringing them into that world where everything is judged on the surface. Where it’s ‘What can you do for me today?’ Marissa grew up that way. She understood it.”

“But you didn’t hate each other,” Cass said, though he wasn’t sure if it was a statement or question.

“No. We didn’t. Actually, we had a lot of fun sometimes. She has a pretty great sense of humor, and she was…” he trailed off. No, that wasn’t something Cass needed to know. It didn’t matter how good Marissa was in bed. She’d given up after a couple of years, anyhow, probably when she turned her bedtime talents to the guy she was sleeping with behind his back.

“It’s okay, Maddox. You were married. I’d be stupid if I didn’t think it had gone unconsummated.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Just continue with the story.”

“Okay,” he took another breath. This was where things got hairy. “Look, we were a great team, at first. When her career took off, things started to change. She was getting a reputation as a leader in her field. Her articles were published. Her speaking engagements became more frequent. I thought it was great. Even though I wasn’t madly in love with her, I wanted the best for her. However, that’s when I think things changed for her. She started asking me to sacrifice my work to spend time with her. She didn’t want to go to functions. She went from being this strong, independent person to being being needy and demanding, and I didn’t know how to give that to her.”

“Because you weren’t in love with her,” Cass summarized. Damn. That woman just put a fine point on things, using her detached therapist voice—deep and soft, but no emotion.

“What?” he asked, not missing the way she was looking at him, as if there was something that he was missing.

“Did you ever think that the success was more than she was ready to take on? That maybe her being needy and demanding was about how everything she thought she wanted was coming up hollow. That she was looking to you to be her anchor?”

Fuck.

He shook his head. “No. Not once. But Cass…”

“Honey, I’m not justifying anything she did to you, but I know that, if I became this super successful person out of nowhere, I’d need something at home to hold onto. No, you weren’t the right person to do it, because you didn’t feel that way toward her, but I get it. I-“

“Cass, she fucking cheated on me.” There, he said it. Well, not really said it, more shouted it. He knew Cass could see the 72 sides of a situation. It’s what made her amazing at her job and an amazing friend. It’s also what tore her apart inside when she got close to someone. She was always analyzing. But there was nothing she could say to make cheating okay.

“Oh, sweetie.” She kissed him softly on the lips. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just-“

“Thought I was the one who fucked up.” He stiffened. Of course she did. Everyone did. He hadn’t told anyone except his sister, and she was great at keeping her mouth shut. No one knew that the great Maddox Paul couldn’t hold onto the perfect little wife.

“No!” She pushed him away, grabbing his cheeks. “No. In all my time…watching you with all those women. I—“ She swallowed hard and pulled a veil over the flash of hurt before placing her forehead against his. He tightened his grip. He knew those women were hard on Cass. But they were nothing. They weren’t her. They’d never be anything close to what he had with her.

“Cass…”

“Shhh. Just listen,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I’m going to tell you this once, Maddox Paul. And you are going to listen. You are amazing. You are warm and funny and smart and a pain in my ever loving ass. You aren’t that fresh out of college idiot trying to prove himself. You’re there. You’ve accomplished everything you’ve set to accomplish, save one thing, and you’re an idiot for thinking it was the one thing you didn’t need.”

“I-“

“I said shut up.” She put a finger over his mouth. “Listen. You thought you could do all this without opening up your heart, and when it finally came time to love, you got shit on. You both made mistakes. But it’s time to let that go and stop beating yourself up over it, Maddox. And stop beating her up. I don’t care if she’s still in love with you. I don’t care if she used you, threw you out like garbage, tore your heart out…I don’t care. I have you now, and I’m not planning on letting you go. Since the day you walked into my life, you’ve been my light. You’ve been my rock. You’ve been my everything. You may not think you should be loved, but you are. Madly,” she kissed him, “Deeply,” kissed him again. “And always.”

On the last kiss, he pulled her tight, his lips crashing into hers. His heart swelled. She loved him. Cassidy Moore loved him, and he loved her, too. Every bit of her. Let Marissa try to destroy this. He was ready to fight. There was no one who got him like Cass did. No one who had faith in him like she did. He knew what it took for Cass to say these things. She didn’t open up easily, and she definitely didn’t put her heart out there like she just had. Hell would freeze over before he’d allow his fucking ex-wife to break it.

* * *

D
arkness engulfed the room
, and he took in the deep, even breathing coming from Cass, her arm and leg draped over him as he lay on his back staring at a ceiling he couldn’t actually see. Now it was his turn to panic, but outside of the anxiety over fighting against one of the most manipulative women he knew, he was content. Cass’ breathing was like a lullaby, soothing his soul.

Damn, he was starting to sound like all those saps in the romantic comedies Cass forced him to watch when she was feeling particularly mean. How many times had he watched the male lead set aside his own ambitions or pride because of some piece of ass and chastised them for it? Maybe now he was just getting where they were coming from. He’d turn the world upside down for Cass, something he’d never have done for anyone else—not even the woman he’d married in his career-focused youth.

Maybe now he was just beginning to understand what his life had been missing, why his heart was so heavy when he went home to see his parents. Cass was right. His parents had always been so in love with one another. When he was a teenager, he’d rolled his eyes on more than one occasion at how affectionate they were with one another, but he’d attributed it to them being hometown sweethearts. He’d justified his marriage to Marissa by telling himself that his parents had never left their small town and didn’t live in the world he did.

But success had been hollow without someone else to fill the open spaces. When his mother received her tenure, his father took them all out for steak. When his father completed his Master’s, something he needed to become a guidance counselor, his mother baked him his favorite cookies for a month. She didn’t have to. She’d taken on extra clubs and summer school teaching jobs to help pay for that degree. His parents had saved every extra penny they’d had to put him and his sister through college, while keeping a roof over their heads and supporting one another in whatever whim breathed through them. They were each others’ cheerleader and support—and the sheer number of times he dealt with his friends’ teasing when his parents kissed, hugged, and goosed each other…they never lost that passion.

His heart clenched remembering all the glances and caresses between his parents, because he hadn’t understood it until now. He kicked himself for how oblivious he’d been to Cass. It wasn’t just that he’d denied how she felt about him, but it was also that he hadn’t realized how he’d felt about her and how he allowed himself to believe that her friendship was all he needed. That he’d somehow find a wife who would look great in publicity photos and have Cass to fill all the emotional craters in his heart. He was so stupid. As Cass inched closer to him in her sleep, he realized that he’d been lacking intimacy. Real intimacy. Not just sex. He lacked the person who pried his heart open, not to hurt him, but to fill him up.