All In: Paying His Way (Gambling With Love) (10 page)

Oh my God. The flashback of the night with Josh was more vivid than usual. At the time, I only remembered leaving the party with him, and then him fucking me from behind in his truck. The next morning, I did wake up in his bed, exhausted and confused like I drank too much, but after that trip down memory lane, I remember that I was completely sober. Maybe we started drinking at his house. There’s absolutely no memory of what we did there whatsoever. But now I know Josh had promised to keep fucking me, and I hadn’t wanted to be with him anymore but couldn’t leave.

Camden’s grumbles snap me out of the daydream. Even after I change his diaper and dress him, the unease that I felt that night with Josh years ago is still bugging me.

“Hey, you two ready to go?” Jordan asks when he walks through the front door.

“Yeah,” I reply, grabbing the diaper bag and looking around to make sure I’m not forgetting anything.

Jordan stops me with a hand on my shoulder “You okay?”

“Oh, well, yeah. Just had a weird dream earlier.”

“Don’t worry about this. It’ll be painless for Camden, and in a few days everything will calm down and get back to normal,” he assures me, his dark eyes soft and warm.

“I know,” I say, forcing a smile. I watch as Jordan picks up Camden from his swing and fastens him into his infant car seat like a pro. He’s so good at this, being an uncle, or actually more like a surrogate father. Jordan is such a nice guy, and Camden and I are lucky to have him want to take care of us.

“Ready, sweetheart?” he asks. His gaze is locked on mine and full of concern and sympathy when he lifts Camden’s seat by the handle, but still cradles the bottom just to make sure he’s safe. It’s in that moment that I realize I’m in love with him, and I’m pretty sure that he loves me and my son. Knowing that gives me comfort; because despite how rocky the road may be dealing with Jason, I know I’ll at least have Jordan by my side to help me through it.

Walking up to Jordan, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek while whispering my thanks to him.

Jordan

Maggie stays silent on the short trip to the lab. “You okay?” I ask again, reaching over to grab her hand when I roll to a stop at a red light.

“Yeah,” she says with a smile. “Just wish things were different. Less antagonistic with Jason.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” I tell her. “At least after this you’ll have his financial support.”

“I don’t want it,” she says with a shake of his head. “If he doesn’t want to contribute…then I don’t want to make him. It’s not worth the hassle. I would only feel guilty.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter. I can help out with whatever you need.”

“No, Jordan. I appreciate all you’ve done for us, but I need to get back on my feet. I’ll find a job once Camden’s a little older.”

“So, you’ll what?” I ask in annoyance. “Put him in a daycare that costs as much as you’ll make at some shitty, minimum wage job where you work fifty hours a week and never see him? What about breastfeeding?”

“I know it sucks, but that’s what single mothers have to do,” she says.

“Single mothers, yeah, but not you. I like having you in my house day and night. Maybe I’m old school, but I love that you cook for me and are there to take care of Camden instead of leaving him with some stranger.”

“I don’t like feeling this way,” she says softly, her eyes avoiding mine when I steal a quick glance.

“Feeling what way?” I ask as we pull up at the lab. My youngest, dumbest brother’s already here, leaning against his truck, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Like a burden. I need a purpose. I need to be useful and productive, or else I feel worthless.”

“You are being useful and productive. You’re raising a baby. That’s not the easiest thing in the world to do.”

“You know what I mean,” she says after we get parked.

“Look, let’s just get this done and then spend the afternoon at the park. I don’t have to go back to work, so…”

“Really?” she turns to me and asks with a blinding smile.

“Yeah. But we need to buy him a stroller first.”

The smile slips from her face. “You are a cunning one, Mr. Young.”

“Why, thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment,” I tease her before we both reach for the door handles to face the music, also known as my youngest sibling.

“Look, it’s the happy little family,” Jason snickers from beside the truck. “Tell me, Jordy, what happens when you have proof that he’s not related to you? Kick her to the curb?”

Grabbing Camden’s seat from the backseat, I tell myself that I’m gonna pretend like our mom and dad are watching from heaven and that they would be disappointed if I got into another fight with one of my brothers. That the rain from the clouds would be their tears of sadness as they see what’s left of our family going to hell.

“Come on and put your money where your mouth is,” I tell Jason when I approach him.

“Can’t fucking wait,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “Then I gotta get back to the base. But do raise a beer for me when you find out I was fatherhoodwinked.”

Scoffing at his continued denial, the three, or four of us, walk into the lab and ask for a paternity test. It’s quick and easy. They swab Jason’s mouth, Camden’s, and even Maggie’s since they said it will help with configuring her DNA in Camden. I have no problem footing the five hundred dollar bill for the test. We give them all three of our email addresses for the results, even though Jason won’t be able to see his since he can’t have a phone or computer on base. He doesn’t seem concerned.

“Have a nice life,” Jason says to Maggie or me, hell, maybe both of us when he walks to his truck and drives away.

“So, park?” I ask Maggie as the three of us load back up in my truck.

“Yeah, sounds fun,” she says with a smile. “I’m glad that’s over with.”

“Me too,” I agree, starting the car and buckling up. “Let’s go get a stroller, and then we’ll be set.”

“There’s no point in trying to dissuade you from buying one, is there?” she asks.

“Nope. About time you figured that out.”

I do buy Camden a stroller, a top-of-the-line one, with all the bells and whistles. Maggie practically hyperventilated at the cash register before I nudged her out the door. The price is still on her mind, based on her silence, and the punishment her bottom lip is currently taking as we walk one of the paved trails at the park.

“Mags?”

“Huh?” she asks.

“Let it go.”

“But…that’s…it’s too much…” she says, eyeing the stroller I’m pushing with disdain. And, no, I don’t feel like a pussy. I’m man enough to push a stroller for my nephew and enjoy this beautiful day with a beautiful woman that I’m starting to fall in love with.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened. Maybe it was right around the night she got robbed. That was the first time I realized just how much I cared about her because of how terrified I was, not just for her, but for Camden, too. I can’t help myself. I love that little guy. The sort of love that was pretty much instantaneous to meeting him. Sure, he doesn’t say much or do much but eat, sleep and look up at me with dark, inquisitive eyes. He’s really damn cute, and I think he likes me too, mostly when I put a bottle in his mouth. All I know is that he’s the only person who can wake me up in the middle of the night without pissing me off. I like taking care of him. He was a little cockblocker last night, but he was hungry and I got a killer blowjob afterwards, so we’re cool.

Even though I know without a doubt that things with Jason and Josh won’t be easy from here on out, I just don’t care anymore.

“What do you want me to make for dinner tonight?” Maggie asks, snapping me out of my musings.

“You know I’m not picky,” I reply, coming to a stop in front of the small, man-made pond and putting the brakes on the stroller down.

“Okay, so maybe I could do a roast? Do you have anything in mind for dessert, ‘cause I could make a blackberry cobbler –”

I swoop down and kiss her, holding her face in my hands to show her I’m not after a polite peck because we’re in public. I want the real deal, tongue tangling, passionate kiss. She tenses up at first, but finally relaxes, wrapping her arms around my waist. When we eventually come up for air, I answer her question.

“You. I want you for dessert.”

Her big, blue eyes stare up at me, still hazy from our kiss. “Let’s pick up something to eat on the way home, feed Camden and then spend the rest of the night in bed,” I suggest. “You can fix my favorite cobbler tomorrow.”

“Yes,” she says with a smile. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either.”

Maggie

Oh, my God. I’m so nervous. More nervous than my first time. I push thoughts of Jason out of my mind and only let myself think about the man on the other side of the bathroom door.

After drying off from my quick shower, I consider how to proceed. Walk out in a towel? Naked? Oh, God, I’m freaking out.

Jordan is like the man of my dreams. He’s sweet and kind, and so damn gorgeous. Never in a million years did I expect him to have interest in sleeping with me. But here we are, the night after we had oral sex that was out of this world, at least for me, and now we’re gonna finally make love. What if it’s not good, not because of him, but me? What if he decides my stretch marks are revolting? What if I-

“Mags?” Jordan calls through the door. “If you don’t hurry, Camden’s gonna wake up, and then I’ll be crying too.”

I can’t help but smile at his words, like he knows I’m freaking out in here, and he’s trying to reassure me without saying, “
Get the fuck over it, Mags
.”

Flicking off the bathroom light, I force myself to open the door naked.

“Thank fuck,” Jordan says from where he’s stretched out on the bed, an arm resting behind his head and not a single piece of clothing on. The sight is almost overwhelming, stopping me in my tracks. He’s so big and strong and…perfect. “Come here,” he orders, patting the spot on the bed next to him. I go to him, climbing on the bed with excitement and need like never before. This is about more than wanting the simple physical act of what we’re about to do. After the stress of the day, the weeks, hell, the months, and maybe even years, I need him to love me the way I’ve always wanted, but have never had before.

When I’m next to Jordan, he grabs me and pulls me on top of him before he buries both of his hands in my hair and brings my mouth down to his. His kiss is soft and sweet at first; but when I relax my body and lower it down on his, the kiss becomes a bit more urgent, desperate. Especially when my parted legs that are straddling him rub against his long, hard cock. Jordan groans into my mouth, and then flips us over, putting me on my back. I prefer this position and the way he grinds his steel shaft against my pussy. We swallow each other’s pants, until his mouth moves lower to suck on my breasts. I’m pretty sure he has a boob fetish since he always seems to head right for them. He and Camden have that in common.

The regret that Jordan’s not his father tries to pull me away from the happiness in this moment, so I push it aside. There’s no reason to worry about things that can’t be changed. Jordan may not be his father biologically, but he’ll be more of a father to him than his true one. A much better one, too.

“Where did you go?” Jordan asks, when he somehow notices my mind wandering.

“Sorry,” I say. “I was just thinking about how good you are with Camden. He’s lucky to have you as an uncle.”

Jordan smiles, and it’s so bright it could light up the dark sky. “You think so?” he asks, holding himself up on his forearms. “Because I’m starting to get pretty attached to that little guy. He’s really easy to love, isn’t he?”

My heart swells inside my chest, bigger than ever before when he tells me he loves my son.

“Yeah, he is,” I reply, blinking back my tears. Now is not the time to cry and ruin the moment.

“You’re pretty easy to love, too,” he says, leaning down to brush his lips over my cheek.

The world feels like it stopped spinning, or maybe it just reversed course, because those words are so powerful that it causes everything I’ve ever known to shift. And yet, even as moved as I am, I can’t respond. What do I say? Jordan didn’t actually come out and say he loved me, but he implied as much, or maybe I’m reading too much into a few simple words. He probably doesn’t really mean…

“I think I’ve loved you since the night Caleb and the police officer showed up at my door telling me you were in the hospital.” Jordan lowers his forehead to mine, and I close my eyes to try and prevent the tears. “I was so fucking worried about you and Camden, and knowing you two could’ve been hurt or worse…it reminded me of the night I found out about my parents. It was like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. The thought of losing you or him, even though I had only known you for a few days, was inconceivable. You’re my family now.”

There’s always been a nagging pit in my stomach that made me think Camden and I were nothing but an obligation to Jordan, like he felt he needed to take care of us because he was a good guy, and Jason’s older brother. But hearing his words…his words remove all of those doubts. He actually cares about us. He loves us.

I wrap my arms around his back and take the comfort and protection that he offers, wanting to show him I feel the same way.

“I love you so much, Jordan,” I tell him. “Please make love to me in case I wake up and this was all just a dream.”

“God, yes,” he says, kissing my cheek and then my jaw. His mouth takes its time, moving slowly down my body until he’s between my legs. He teases me so good with his tongue but stops just before I fall over the pleasure cliff.

Moving back up my body, Jordan’s dark eyes lock on mine as he rocks against me until he’s slipping in, filling up the emptiness in a way no one ever has before. His mouth crashes down on mine, and it’s possessive and hungry when he starts moving in and out of me faster. We clutch each other impossibly closer, but it’s not enough. I want to pull him inside of me, and never let him go.

Even after we both surrender to our releases and come back down from the blissful high, we stay connected. Minutes or hours pass, but it’s just the two of us joined, until Camden’s cries break the spell.

“I’ll feed him,” Jordan says when he pulls away from me after the best kiss, the best sex, from the best man ever.

“Thank you,” I tell him as I run my fingers through his short, messy hair, meaning not just for taking care of Camden now, but for everything.

“My pleasure,” he says with a wink as he climbs off of me. I instantly miss the heat of his body. “Speaking of my pleasure, don’t get dressed, ‘cause I’m not close to being done with you tonight.”

The smile on my face is bigger than ever before after hearing that promise. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” I tell Jordan as he slips out of the room.