All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood (40 page)

expectations about, 11, 18, 150–51, 250

goals of, 10, 135, 138, 175, 176, 234, 238, 241

government role in, 81–83, 92

happiness of, 4–6, 48, 158, 194, 238, 253

as “high-cost/high-reward activity,” 6, 12–13, 143

midlife reflections of, 226–27

midlife crisis of, 187

overscheduled, 119–26, 167

and “parent”
as a verb, 152, 238

regrets of, 231–33

Paul, Pamela, 165

permanent present: children as living in, 27–28, 100

Perry, Katy, 101

“pervasive busyness” sensation, 65

Phillips, Adam, 18, 24–26, 41, 44, 75, 102–3, 175, 193–94, 224, 225, 234

philosophy, 106–10

play, 28–29, 77–78, 101, 164–65, 167, 262

playgrounds, 167–68

playrooms, 163–65

Popenoe, David, 72

pornography: effects on adolescents, 211

positive psychology, 240

prefrontal cortex, 26–27, 31, 100, 101, 210, 211

preschoolers.
See
toddlers/preschoolers

Putnam, Robert, 62, 64–65

remembering self, 254–58

risk: adolescence and, 209–10, 212, 214

Roberts, J.M., 18

Rosin, Hanna, 53

Rossi, Alice, 3–4

Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 127

safety, child, 122, 167–69, 188, 196, 197, 238

Sandberg, Sheryl, 40–41

sandwich generation, 67

Sayer, Liana, 59–60

“schmoozers,” 62

self-control/restraint, 22–23, 25, 49

sex

adolescence and, 183–84, 199

marriage and, 50, 71–76, 203

Shapiro, Dani, 183

Shirky, Clay, 218, 220–21, 222

Simon, Robin, 82, 238–39, 251, 252, 253

single parents, 5, 48, 82, 155–59, 253, 259–60

Skinner, B.F., 36, 242

Slaughter, Anne-Marie, 41

sleep, 6, 20–23, 55–56, 75

sleep-training, 86–88, 89

social networks/interactions, 61–67, 217, 219

social safety nets, 81

Spock, Benjamin, 32, 62–63, 175, 176, 234

stages of adulthood, 229–30

stay-at-home parents, 18, 36, 55, 63–64, 154, 155, 199, 227–28

Steinberg, Laurence, 186–87, 189–90, 195, 198, 199, 205, 207–8, 211, 226–27

Steinberg, Wendy, 189

Stone, Arthur, 6

Stone, Linda, 37

stress, 37, 70–71, 82, 90, 189, 204

Sugar Land (Houston suburb), 131–34, 169

suicide, 251–52

summer camp, 121–22

Suzuki method, 179

task-switching, 37–38

technology, 122, 169–71, 216, 217, 218–23, 238

Tierney, John, 22–23

Tiger Moms, 93, 130, 133, 139, 142, 145–46, 147

time

decline in adolescent-family, 193

decline in couple’s together, 72–73

divided, 58–61

efficiency of, 79

gender differences in experiencing of, 79–80

and how much time parents spend with children, 181

toddlers/preschoolers, 25, 26, 68, 69, 73, 106, 192–93, 195

“Top 10 Percent Rule,” Texas, 133, 141

toys, 164, 165

University of California, Los Angeles: dual-earner study at, 55

University of Georgia: obedience study at, 69

University of Michigan: adolescent study at, 207

Vaillant, George, 242–44, 245, 250

Waldman, Ayelet, 155

Warner, Judith, 12, 82–83, 92, 143, 159

Weininger, Elliot, 149–50

Wertham, Fredric, 218

White House Middle Class Task Force, 143

Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe, 72

Whyte, William H., 128–29

Williams, Marjorie, 263, 264–65

Winnicott, Donald, 103

women

and balancing professional and family obligations, 42–43

college dropout rate of, 42–43

as domestic scientists, 153–54

as “having it all,” 41

midlife crisis of, 207–8

in the 1950s, 152–53

and wage gap between childless women and mothers, 143

See also
mothers

women’s movement, 42–43, 152–53

work

and change in experience of parenting, 8–9

and deferring professional ambitions, 40–44

flow and, 33–40

fulfillment of parents with, 199, 201

portability and accessibility of, 35, 37

and division of household labor, 53, 55

flow and, 36

happiness and, 5

Zelizer, Viviana, 9–10, 128, 170, 174, 187

about the author

JENNIFER SENIOR
is a contributing editor at
New York
magazine. She lives in New York with her family.

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copyright

ALL JOY AND NO FUN.
Copyright © 2014 by Jennifer Senior. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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