All the Sky (20 page)

“Havoc, no. You can’t be serious.”

Oh, he was serious. Keeping a firm grip on her, he looked around—there was a second building off to the side; he thought maybe the guy had said what they did in it, but he hadn’t cared. It was styled like an old Italian villa or whatever, and it had nooks all along the side. He tightened his grip on her arm and pulled her over.

She resisted him the whole way, but she was quiet. He knew she was trying not to make a scene. That was fine with him—a scene would get in his way. When he got her into a nice, dark corner, he pushed her into it and leaned in.

She put her hands between them. “Don’t, Hav. Not here.”

“Yeah, here.” He slid his hand into her jeans.

“I don’t want it.” Instead of fighting the way he’d hoped, she went still. She was looking out, trying to see who could see them. His hand eased between her legs. He grinned.

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t. I’m asking you to stop.”

He stopped and looked at her, his hand still between her legs, his fingers slick against her. He was confused. “But you’re so wet.”

“I’m asking you to stop.” Her eyes were steady on his, but the pulse in her throat was going like crazy. He’d thought it was arousal. Maybe he’d been wrong. But she was so wet—how did that make sense?

Well, he wasn’t horny anymore. Not as much, anyway. He took his hand out of her jeans.

This was not what he’d expected at all. He felt pissed and derailed. He also felt guilty. He didn’t know how to handle any of that. In a fit of pique, he slammed his hands to the rough wall on either side of her head. “Fuck!”

She blinked but didn’t flinch. When she pushed again on his shoulders, he backed off.

“I’m going to go back to the motel.”

She straightened her sweater and scooted out from between him and the wall. He let her, but then that felt wrong.

“Cory, wait.”

She turned back. “Just tell everybody I’m sick or something, please.” And then she walked down the hill.

He let her go. He didn’t know if that was the right thing. Was he supposed to stop her? But he leaned back against the wall he’d meant to fuck her on, and he let her go.

~oOo~

He met everybody for supper, and he told them that Cory was feeling bad. When the women fussed and asked if she needed anything, he didn’t know what to say or do, so he just said no, she didn’t need anything.

He wasn’t in the mood. He sat back and listened to the conversation, speaking when somebody addressed him directly, but otherwise, he supposed what he was doing was sulking. He had no way of working out what had happened. How had he fucked up? She was wet and panting for it, and still she’d said she didn’t want it. It didn’t make any kind of sense.

Chicks.

He should’ve gone to get whiskey last night, and stayed away from Cory’s room. It wasn’t too late to turn back. One night. No big deal. Go back to Signal Bend and pretend it hadn’t happened. Sure, she’d probably be pissed, but she’d get over it. Not too late.

Except yeah, it was. He could tell. For him it was too late. It sucked.

He watched some flouncy blonde—pretty old, but hot, with good tits—come to the table, and he realized she must have been the Lucinda Cory had spoken of earlier. And then he saw Lilli hand Bo over to Shannon and stand up. Isaac and Show stood, too. Then Badger. Oh. Havoc guessed he was supposed to as well, so he did. Over a chick, though? What the fuck?

Then Lilli stepped up and got right in the blonde broad’s face. When Havoc realized that he didn’t give a fuck that a chick fight was about to start, he knew his night was over. And he knew where he was going.

Not to the liquor store.

Isaac and Show diffused the situation between Lilli and the blonde, and then Isaac dragged said blonde off. Everybody else sat, but Show stayed on his feet, watching. Havoc waited until Isaac got back, and then he said good night and walked back to the motel.

He went straight to her door. It was early yet—fuck, even the kids had still been at the restaurant—and she wasn’t really sick. He knocked.

She opened the door, and this time the slider was engaged. That hurt his feelings—which surprised him.

“What, Hav? And don’t tell me I know.”

“Need to talk.”

“I don’t.” She leaned back, preparing to shut the door, and he put his hand on it, holding it open.

“I’m…I’m”—he couldn’t apologize. The word just wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “You gotta cut me some slack here, honey. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“That’s fucked up, Hav.”

“Yeah, I’m gettin’ that. You gonna let me in?”

“Get your hand off the door.”

“You gonna let me in?”

“I can’t if you don’t let me close the fucking door.”

Oh, right. The slider. He stepped back, and she closed the door. There was a pause of quite a few seconds, and he thought she’d just hoodwinked him, but then the door opened. Dressed in nothing but a long t-shirt that went almost down to her knees, like a nightgown or something, she walked backwards all the way to the other side of the room, putting the bed between them, as she had last night. He thought that was pretty unfair.

“Not gonna hurt you, Cory.”

“You have a hard time with the word no.”

Maybe that was true. He’d never bothered with chicks who would tell him no. To anything. He paid attention and picked the ones who were known to be game, and when he fucked a new one, he played it cool until everybody had her figured out.

“I don’t get why you said no. You were so hot for it.”

She laughed—one syllable, no humor. “You have the sexual maturity of a thirteen-year-old boy.”

“Fuck you. You gonna explain, so somebody
immature
like me can understand, or not?”

“I think
you
are hot. I spent a lot of today thinking about last night.
That
makes me hot.”

Thinking about her thinking about the night before, as he had been, getting turned on, maybe sitting right there next to him in the damn wineries, getting wet—that was
scalding
hot. He felt like he’d fucked up a real opportunity.

But she wasn’t done talking.

“Being yanked across the grounds of a winery in the middle of the day and shoved into a corner to get fucked while a hundred strangers watch? No, that’s not hot. Not to me. Being forced after I say no?
Not. Hot
. I don’t care what my body was doing.” She put her finger to her mouth. “These are the lips that matter.”

“I liked that you were fighting me.” He probably shouldn’t admit that, but the words were already out.

“Jesus. That’s a problem.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Cory. I…I like you. And I don’t get off on hurting women.”

Again that fucking breathy bark of a laugh. He hated that sound.

“You don’t trust me.”

“Why should I, Hav? More than not, you’ve tried to force me to do what you want.”

Okay, enough of this. Not even twenty-four hours, and she was trying to make him her bitch. He crossed the room and grabbed her arms—making an effort to hold her in place but not hurt her. Her eyes were on his, flashing and furious, maybe a little scared, but he could see it—he could fucking
smell
it—it
did
turn her on when he was like this. It had last night, too—gotten her so wet her juices ran down her thighs and all over him. Fuck, that had been amazing.

“Tell me to fucking go, then, and I’ll stay away. But I’m not always gonna ask. I’m not. I got no idea what we’re doing, but whatever it is, it’s not just on your terms. No fucking way. I’m not a hearts and flowers guy. That’s what you want, then I’ll go and let you look for him. But if you don’t tell me to go right here and now, then you’re mine.”

Her chest was heaving, every inhale bringing her collarbones into stark relief. “What does that mean, I’m yours?”

He didn’t even know. Those words had surprised the hell out of him. But he knew this: “I don’t beg.”

“Do you listen?”

“I’ll try. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s not good enough. That scares me.”

It was all he had. And he was through talking. “Decide, Cory. Now.”

She pushed against his grip on her arms, her eyes still flashing fire at him. She was going to tell him to go.

“Fuck you.” She shrugged him off, and he released her, feeling an unfamiliar and profoundly unpleasant weight in his chest.

Then she grabbed the neck of his kutte in her fists and pulled him down to kiss him. For a second, he was crippled with confusion and just let her. And then he understood, and he took that shit over.

Grabbing the t-shirt she was wearing and pulling it up, he wrapped his hands around her hips and lifted her off the floor. Done resisting, she looped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth wider, giving him everything he wanted. But her tongue tangled with his, and her hands gripped his head. She wasn’t giving up the fight. She was giving him the fight.

Fucking Christ, that was hotter than any of it. That’s what he wanted.

The bed was right there, but he carried her forward until she hit the wall. He wanted to have her against a fucking wall. He leaned in to hold her there and then pushed a hand between them, undoing his jeans and pulling himself free. Her sweet, hot, wet pussy was right there—no underwear, just her—and he pushed in deep, feeling her lush heat surrounding him. It was so much more intense than he remembered from just hours before.

She tore her mouth from his. “Hav, STOP!”

Motherfucker! Goddamn it! No sonofabitching WAY.

“What?!”

“Condom,” she gasped. “You need a condom.”

Oh, fuck. Not once ever in his life had he been unwrapped inside a woman, not even for a second. He never forgot that shit. Ever. No amount of drunk, no amount of wasted, no amount of horny had ever caused him to forget to wrap up.

He pulled out fast and set her on her feet. “Fuck. Sorry.” He fumbled in his pocket for a condom. His hands felt stupid, because his brain was still stuck on how absolutely unbelievable it had felt to be inside her without anything between them. And she wasn’t making anything easier; her hands were under his shirt, her fingers scratching at his belly, making him shiver and twitch.

At last, he got himself covered and, feeling hotter than he could remember, he grabbed her and put her back on the wall, filling her full as fast as he could. He wasn’t sure how much control he had; all the confusing shit of the past few hours had his head all turned around, and now he was all tangled up with her, inside and out, and she was breathing in his ear, making these fantastic little moans every time he went deep.

“Tell me you want it.”

She stiffened a little and didn’t answer. He thrust harder, bringing a harsh gasp from her.

“Tell me.”

“I do. I do.”

“What d’you want?”

Again, she didn’t answer. Mustering all the control he had left, he stopped moving. When she whimpered and moved her hips, he forced them to be still. She whimpered again. Then the only sound in the room was the steam-powered chug of their laboring breaths.

“Fuck me. God, I want you to fuck me.”

“My girl.” He let go, having at her as hard as he could, as hard as he needed to, until she bit down on his shoulder, shrieking into his kutte, and he unleashed the last part of himself, with what he could only think of as a howl, the muscles in his throat straining so hard they ached.

~oOo~

Again, he sat up in the bed and watched her sleep. Again, she’d moved away from him early in the night, to sleep on her own at the other side of the bed. He’d been glad of it last night, glad not to have her all clingy and cuddly all fucking night, but now he wasn’t so sure.

He didn’t understand the crazy way everything he’d thought about what he wanted was scrambling all of a sudden. He didn’t understand how he could constantly want to touch her, even after he’d fucked her silly—they’d fucked each other silly—again and again. He didn’t understand the weird, heavy feeling he got when she was scared of him, when she backed away from him.

He didn’t understand.

He lay back down, slid over to her side of the bed, and pulled her close. He felt calmer then.

He didn’t understand that, either.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“You should take it, Cory. All you’re doing is pissing him off, and I don’t even want it. That job is a pain in the ass.”

Bonnie picked at the bear claw on her plate. Cory and Bonnie had taken to having coffee and pastries a couple of times a week, after Nolan got off to the school bus. They took turns hosting; today, Bonnie was sitting at Cory’s little table.

“You’ve been there since the beginning, though. It just feels like he’s giving it to me because we’re…doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking, hon. The word is
fucking
.”

“That’s not what I meant.” When Bonnie gave her an
oh please
look, Cory continued, “Yes, we’re fucking. But I don’t know what to call
why
we’re fucking.”

“Because he’s a big, hot hunk of man meat?”

“Bonnie, come on!”

Her friend pushed her pastry away and leaned forward. “Okay, look. So, yeah, knowing Havoc, he’d never give the job to a woman, except that he’s all into you. But you know wine better than anybody else there. You’ll be better at it than he is. You’ll be better at it than I would be. And Jesus, it’ll be nicer to work there without his nasty-ass attitude and all the comments about whatever. Tits.”

“He really is a caveman, isn’t he?”

“He’s not even that evolved. What came before cavemen? Like, dinosaurs. He’s a brontosaurus or something like that.”

Yeah, he was. But she liked it. A lot. Most of the time, at least. They’d been back from Hemsburg for two weeks, and by all signs, he was all in. He didn’t stay over every night, but most of them. Cory had talked to Nolan as soon as they’d gotten back. She’d been worried. As much as he liked Havoc, his father was the only man Cory had ever been with, and she wasn’t sure how he would take the intimate presence of another man in their lives.