All This Time (36 page)

Chapter
Sixty-Nine

Stabbed
?
My feet carry me, but my mind can’t process what Russ said. Rushing around the
hospital bed kicked over on its side, I drop to my knees and all the breath in
my chest whooshes out when I see Kris behind it lying in a pool of thick, red
blood, a knife wedged deep in her belly under her ribs. Scrambling up to her, I
raise my trembling hand and cautiously push the hair away from her face. Her
lashes flutter faintly several times before her eyelids lift revealing her
signature striking green eyes that shift toward me.

“I
knew you would come,” Kris whispers followed by a gurgled cough that pierces my
heart.

“Ssh.”
Tears slip down my cheeks while I shake my head wordlessly trying to make her
understand that she doesn’t need to talk.

“Sam,
the ER doctor is coming,”
Tac
states leaning over the
edge of the gurney behind us.

Unable
to reply, I bob my head still staring at Kris while holding her arm across my
lap. Needing closer, I stretch out and curl my body against hers with my arm
under my head. I move my fingers through her bangs, tucking them behind her
ears.
Please don’t let go.

“Sam,”
Kris moans softly. Facing each other our eyes lock and understanding drops
between us heavier than a steel beam.

“No,
please…don’t talk Kris,” I stutter and stammer. “He…he said the doctor’s
coming. Don’t give up…okay. I… need you to make it through this.”

“Ssh,
I need to say this to you, Sam.”

My
eyes plead with her to stop this now. I can’t let her tell me goodbye. I want
to shout over to the guys and tell them to drag that fucking doctor over here
now, but I can’t peel my eyes away from hers. The tears come hard as I sigh and
nod my head once.

“I
have loved you from the moment we met. You’re a real bad ass chick, with
fighting skills that scare the hell out of me.” The corners of her lips twist,
but the smile is fleeting because she becomes strangled with coughs. “You don’t
play nice with others.” Cough, cough, cough, “You’re vulgar, stubborn and a
real pain in the booty, but that’s all on the surface,” she gasps trying to
take a deep breath. The corners of her lips tip up again when she settles. “And
maybe a few layers deeper, but,” Cough. “You have the biggest, most loving
heart for everyone that you love. After our talk at Christmas you made me
believe that loving Tate and being,” Cough, cough, cough, cough, shallow
breaths, “being loved is more important than the financial….obligation I poured
my life into. Tell him, Tell Tate that I loved him more than
everything
and
I’m sorry.” I
suck
in a ragged breath when I see her
chest still and eyes slip closed.
No, this isn’t right. God, please don’t
take her.
I wildly scream inside my head.

“Kris?”
My words choke in my throat.

“I’m
here,” Her eyelids drift up then down a few times before she tries focusing on
me again. “Where I’m going…all the ugliness you’ve been so…adamantly trying to
keep me away from won’t be there…kind of ironic, huh?”

“Hush,
please don’t do this. I need you to stay with me, Kris.” My bottom lip quivers.

“You
know in your soul…that finding ways to keep your heart closed off from real
love is a lonely existence.” Wheeze, cough, pause, “I need…for you to promise
me that you’ll go out there and live. He’s out there Sam…waiting for you. You
know this. He…is worth…it all and…so are you.” I’m not going to argue with her
now, but she’s wrong. “I’m not wrong…so stop thinking it. Blues,” Shallow
breath, “is your soul mate.” She smiles through the pain filtering through her
dimming eyes and paling face. “He’s the love of your life and the only man…that
has ever tapped into your hard shell,” I touch my fingertips reverently to her
cold hands wrapping them and squeezing, begging her to hold on, “...reached
into your soul and grabbed…your heart…. all of it belongs to him Sam and you
know it.” Her lips perk up again and a single tear slips from her eyes.
“Maybe…a
piece
of it belongs to me.”

“Yes
Kris. You are more than my best friend,” my words are distorted with my sobs.
“I love you so much.”

“Sisters,”
She nods and the tears well into her dull green eyes, “Sometimes, I feel like
we…were destined to be together. Like, right now. Fate brought us together for
this moment in time. You know?” She cries silently and I cry harder.

I
hear noises behind me and feel the bed move away.
The
doctor
.
“Detective?”
A sweet angelic voice
whispers over my shoulder, but I don’t turn around, I can’t.

“No,”
Kris whispers before glancing skyward. “I only have a few moments left. Don’t
let them take me away from you yet.”

“Let
them help you.” I beg gripping her hand tighter. “Please Kris, please.” I cry
so hard, my chest is squeezing.

She
gurgles and her mouth moves speaking so softly, almost too soft for me to hear
lying beside her, “No, let me help you first…Go home, Sam.” Sniffing and
dragging my hand under my nose, I narrow my eyes on her. “There is life…waiting
for you in Willow. Kiss Gran for me. Grab those twins…love them through their
issues and tell those nasty… your parents to fuck off.” She holds my stare
before asking, “Promise me?”

“Yes,”
I nod my head weakly choking on more sobs, “For you, anything.”

“No…for
you,” she corrects with a whisper. Her eyes shift to the person hovering behind
me, “Angel.”

“Sam,
the doctor’s here,”
Tac
tells me.

Kris’
eyes drift to mine locking, and then her eyelashes flutter softly before
closing for the last time. My heart lurches hard inside my chest and a scream
rips from the pit of my stomach. I place my hand on her cheek, stroking my
thumb over her tear trail and roll my head onto her shoulder. I cry hard,
harder than I’ve ever cried before. An emanating void floods my chest–an abyss
forming a black hole where all things are sucked intensely from my heart and I
collapse into nothing. I feel like I’ve died with her, my best friend.

“Kris?”
Russ, who has been hovering above our head, sobs wrapping one arm around me and
draping the other over his sister.

I
don’t know how long we stay like this, but eventually someone pries me off her
and the floor. Numbly and tucked under Russ’ arm, I stagger outside and sit in
the back of a patrol car. I stare down at the ground hearing different people,
some patients, doctors and even police department personnel, offer their congratulations
to each other on a successful outcome in the hostage situation. As much as I
want to scream at them for being fucking idiots I know that Kris would consider
the kids being safe the success of this incident. Rescuing Kris and Russ was
all that I cared about at the time. Even Blues cared about the littlest
hostages more than I did.

Blues
?
Glancing up, I spot him standing with
Tac
and a few other guys across the parking lot. His eyes,
sober now, are locked on me, and new longing sieves from them, making him
appear kinder. No matter what Kris made me promise, it isn’t written in the
cards for me and Blues. I loved the wrong man and there’s no way I will ever
get over him. It falls on my lot to be alone.

“Samantha
Walker?” An older gentleman dressed in a tan suit asks leaning against the open
door of the patrol car.

“Yeah,”
I answer pulling my attention away from Blues and looking up into severe gray
eyes.

“I’m
sorry for your loss,” he sighs glancing around the area, “This probably isn’t the
best place, but if you’ll give me a few minutes of your time to explain I think
you might be interested in what I have to say.”

Narrowing
my eyes on him, I notice that he is a nice looking gentleman dressed in
tailored clothing and shiny Italian shoes. He smiles and it is sweet, but I
find it offensive after everything I’ve been through. I frown and he notices my
lack of concern for his need to talk.

“It’s
about Dr. A,” he asserts. That piques my interest.

“What
about him?” I growl feeling my hatred from that fucker swelling with each
passing moment.

“I
have an offer for you. It comes from deep within the government, a sort of
rebel division of task.” He smirks smugly, and I twitch an eyebrow. Yeah, I’m
definitely interested now.

“What
do you have to offer me?”

“A
job,” His voice is low and controlled. “I want you on a small task force that
will become a tracking team. I understand that you overheard some details from
the perpetrator before…killing him.”
Details?
Now I look at him completely confused. “He gave your friend some information
about the ghost?”

“Uh,
Ethan Sloane is not my friend and I’m not sure I understand what information
you’re talking about, Mr.…?”

He
smiles. “Call me Max.”

“Max,”
I repeat, “Why me exactly?”

“I
think you probably want the bastard as much I do now. He has avoided justice
for many years, Detective, and I need people on this team that are hungry to
bring him to justice. Mark Hatfield is just one of his many sick and twisted
employees. We’re facing a bleak future if we don’t stop him, stopping the
spread of Ryske.”

“Bleaker?”
I snort before growling angrily, “Is that what you think? How much bleaker do
you think my life can get sir?”

“You
lost someone very special to you because of all this bullshit. I’m afraid that
will happen for me, as well as many others, very soon if we don’t find the
bastard, shut down his pharmaceutical facility and end his tyranny. Please
consider my offer.” He steps back before adding, “I’ll be in touch, Sam.”

Chapter
Seventy

Max
walks away leaving me contemplating his crazy idea, and my betraying eyes once
again drift up to where Blues is standing. I sigh and drop my face into my
hands feeling broken in half.
Fuck!
How am I going to get through this?
There is nothing more that I want in this moment than to crumble into a million
pieces or hide away, but that is just not me. I need to get away for sure, and
I will, but there’s one thing left to do. Spotting Russ talking with Chief
Summers, I stand up and walk over intruding on their conversation.

“Hey,”
My voice cracks, still very much effected from my losses. Russ shifts his body
toward me, grabs and hugs tightly.

“Hey
Sam,” He pulls away from me and places both hands on the sides of my face.
“Thank you!” He pauses looking deeply into my eyes reflecting equal amounts of
sadness as his, “I owe you for saving my life.” I wince as I run my hand
tenderly over the bandage taped to his head. “Chief was just telling me that
one of the traffic units, not allowed to leave his post during the…situation,”
his eyebrows pinch downward, “pulled over Lourdes and promptly arrested her on
the warrants the DA issued this morning.”

“Great,”
I say morosely positive that the Kennedy money will have her out in no time. I
just hope her sons have a place to go when she gets convicted.

He
sighs and the chief attentively watches our exchange, “I know it’s doesn’t make
any of this better, but at least we got her, yeah?”

“Yeah,”
I nod weakly, “Russ, I’m leaving,” I state as calmly as I can while looking
into eyes that match my best friends identically.

“Yeah,
I thought you might.” He nods dropping his hands to his sides. “Sam, call me.
If you ever need anything, please…”

“I
will,” I interrupt. “I want you to do something for me now though.”

He
narrows his eyes at me and I shift mine toward Blues. He nods his head
understanding my silent request to keep him from getting away, and then kisses
my cheek before walking over toward Captain Reebals. Together they approach
Blues.

“Well
done, Detective Walker,” Chief Summers says clasping a hand on my shoulder.
“You made me proud. Canton owes you one for everything you did.” I glance over
at him standing beside me watching Russ with purpose.

“Thank
you sir, but I think Sergeant Daniels is the one who deserves the ‘At-a-boys’
more than me,” He shoots me a puzzled look. “He is an amazing officer and the
best damn sergeant I’ve ever worked under and he would fit in well with your
department,” I suggest flashing my dazzling smile, and he nods knowingly.

“It
must be divine providence working through us. Just offered RD a sergeant’s
position on my staff before you walked over, but the state has been after him
too. We’ll see what the boy decides.” He winks before walking away. I want to
smile, but I can’t even fake one.

Fuck
you destiny
!

Making
my way over to Russ and Captain Reebals, who is in full blown pissed off mode
yelling at Blues, I stare at the man who stole my heart standing only a few
feet away from me. His face is stone, completely void of emotion.

“Decks
backed out on our deal,” I tell them my eyes never leaving Blues, “Because of
him.”

“We
have a signed statement from Mr. Kennedy. It will hold up in court,” Captain
Reebals growls.

I
watch as several local news reporters’ rush toward the front of the ER yelling
for Chief Summers and a faint flicker of relief moves through my soul, soft and
almost unnoticed like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings. Turning my attention
back to the men I smile.

“Great.
Then arrest that piece of shit,” I demand and Captain Reebals smiles happily
before calling over one of his uniformed officers. My eyes lock with Blues’
again and in this moment I feel like justice might prevail.

Pulling
me a few feet away Russ says, “I’ll agree with you that he’s a piece of shit,
Sam, but he helped save me too.” I shake my head not wanting to hear this
bullshit. He places a strong hand on top of my shoulder and narrows his eyes on
me, “It was my fault.” A mixture of pain and guilt floods his heavy eyes.

“What?”

“I
came in through the front of the hospital on my way to the emergency room. Kris
was walking down the back hallway toward me. Mad stormed into the ER with a
knife saying that he needed drugs. He grabbed up the first kid he could reach
and carried her passed the front desk. Kris turned around and saw him. She
screamed for him to let the kid go and that she would help him. Without
thinking, I roared, pulled my gun and rushed toward them. He tossed the little
girl and grabbed Kris around the waist.” Russ’ eyes darken and my body begins to
tremble. His stiff arm sags slightly, but he continues. “He dragged her
backwards into that room and I followed. Some other patients had already run to
hide in there.” He stops and I pull out from under his hold.

“Go
on,” I encourage needing to hear the whole story, but I see the pain taking
over in his features.

“He
said he would kill her,” Russ lowers his voice and his eyes avert to the ground
while he shoves his hands into his front pockets. “He demanded that I give him
my gun and take her place. I did without hesitation, but…” He swallows hard
then falls backward, his ass bumping into the back of a patrol car parked
beside us. “When he asked her where the key to the medicine cabinet was she
told him she didn’t have it. He went demonic and thrust the knife into her
stomach.” He winces and looks at me. “I fought him, but he pointed the gun at
her face and told me to get on my knees. And I did. He hit me with the butt of
the gun causing me to black out.” Grabbing Russ, I wrap my arms around him and
hold him close while he cries for the loss of his sister.

“No!”
Shaking my head, I whisper, “I’m sorry, Russ, but you’re wrong. There’s only
one person to blame for fuckers like Mad Hatter.” Stepping away from him, I
turn to rest my ass against the patrol car too and my attention automatically
drifts back to Blues before I add, “A drug lord.”

The
Captain is still speaking to him, but Blues’ eyes are taking in the scene
between me and Russ. Briefly my eyes flick over to his brother.
Tac
glares at me, but I don’t really understand his look. He
knows what his brother is too. Surely he isn’t pissed off at me for doing my
job. The uniform holding up handcuffs orders Blues to turn around. My gut
churns with disappointment from the events that led us to this moment. Even with
the heavy-heartedness weighing me down a small bit of pride creeps in knowing
that it’s all finally over. Still watching me hard, Blues complies with the
arresting officer and I avert my eyes looking down at the ground. Whatever he’s
thinking I’m sure loving me is the furthest thing from his mind.
Just the
way it should be
. That thought gives me the resolve to let him go and leave
Canton behind.

“I
have to go, Russ,” I whisper smoothing a single tear off my cheek.

“Angel?”
Blues calls a couple of feet away from me now, being escorted by the officer
directly toward the marked unit that I’m leaning against.

Swallowing
hard, my eyes lift slowly as he stops in front of me and I stare into deep
sapphire eyes. One corner of his mouth tips up as he shrugs, apologetically and
I nod once.
I need you Blues
, my heart still cries for him. Sighing
loudly, his body tilts, the way he does just before kissing me. Clearly it’s
not intentionally. It’s almost instinctively, and understandably so. Mine begs,
no, it demands that I follow suit, but I can’t. Just like Angel and Blues, Sam
and Ethan are not meant to be.

Seeing
that I don’t respond physically he straightens his back and states flatly,
“Detective, this is not how this end.” My eyebrows pinch in hard and a shiver
runs through me from his threat.

Through
gritted teeth, I hiss, “Goodbye Mr. Sloane.” Turning around fast, I force my
body toward my car, leaving behind my forbidden love.