Allure of the Wolf (Seraphine Thomas Book 2) (10 page)

Anger flashed in his eyes before he looked away. “Noah’s always more exciting than the normal or reliable.” He cleared his throat and pulled away before I could respond,
floored
at why he was hurt. Did he really think I was
bored
with him? “You going to go home and get cleaned up first?”

“Yeah, I stink.”

“Like sex,” he teased but I saw the pain on his face. “I’ll see you at Vlad’s then.”

“Tristan, wait,” I begged,
hating
to leave the conversation like that.

That fake smile came back. “It’s fine. We’re fine. I’ll catch you later.”

I nodded numbly as I back up towards my car as he jumped in his own and just about peeled out of the spot and then the parking lot.
We’re going to lose him if we’re not careful and we’re tied to him for eternity so that won’t be awkward or anything.

There is not an instruction manual for me either,
my siren sighed in my head.
Just because I can see and feel their deepest desires and fears does not mean I am a mind reader. I am learning and understanding Tristan better. I will help and fix this. Rest—we need it. If we had more rest, we might have seen this sooner.

I actually agreed with her. I was too distracted, being pulled in too many directions. I couldn’t keep going like this.

And Tristan was always standing at my side… I wasn’t sure I could do
any
of it without him. That was all I kept thinking about as I drove home. When I got there, I was going to jump in the shower real quick, but after sitting still long enough for the drive—exhaustion set in. I opted for a short bath to work out my sore muscles, because while we healed crazy fast, I’d still been in a
fight
and then thought sex would be a good idea.

I groaned as I sank into the hot water with some herbal salts for pain and muscle tension. I remembered closing my eyes for a
second
to relax and that was it.

I woke up the next morning in bed. Sitting up slowly, I realized it truly was
morning
and felt the mattress next to me. Not cold, but not warm still either—somewhere in between. I scrambled out of bed and threw on a robe before rushing down the stairs.

“He’s gone,” Riley informed me as I bolted into the kitchen. “Said something about inventory today at the bar before he left. He’s working tonight too.”

“I know,” I sighed, burying my face in my hands. “What happened? I came home to clean up and now just woke.”

“We thought you got a work call but then we saw your team there and figured you blew us off or couldn’t handle that many people again. You wouldn’t answer your phone so Tristan came home to check on you and found you asleep in the tub. You could have drowned, Sera.”

“I wasn’t drinking. I didn’t take anything. I just dozed off,” I argued, adrenaline shooting throughout my body still at the knowledge I’d been so exhausted I’d done that. I most likely wouldn’t have, but I also had never done that before and I didn’t even remember anyone getting me
out
of the tub. “I would have woken up if I’d slipped under.”

“You didn’t wake up the whole time he bathed you or tucked you into bed,” Riley growled, slamming down his coffee mug. “You can’t keep going like this!”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I snapped, spinning on him. “Back off, Riley. I didn’t ask for any of this. I am doing the
best
I can. I am
sorry
I hurt you both and I screwed up last night, but don’t for one
second
act like I’m ignoring the situation. I’m not filing my nails and partying all night. People’s
lives
depend on me. You of all people should understand that, you’re a nurse for fuck’s sake.”

He shook his head and grabbed my arm when I turned away. “I take days off. There are others who—”

“There’s no one else!” I bellowed, shoving him away. “You heard my argument with Havers last night. There’s no one else to do this job yet, Riley. Chief Monroe knows it. The fucking FBI knows it.
Havers
even knows it. They’re picking up funding and training because I
am
the story they all fear—the agent who gets turned doing the job we do because we didn’t have our shit together. I’m the only one from both worlds!

“I’m getting a whole
team
up to speed on how things should be done while having a fucking crash course on being a paranormal and I’m not even a normal one. And now everyone is pushing me to take over the pack. A fucking werewolf
pack
, Riley. I know nothing about being a wolf and people are asking—
demanding
—I lead an entire group. This is serious shit with lives at stake. You can think of someone else to take
any
of the jobs, I am
all
ears
.”

He opened his mouth but then shut it before saying anything. My chest heaved as I tried to get myself in check, waiting for what came next. Then to my surprise, Riley nodded. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I want you to take over the pack, because I don’t think anyone else can handle the job and clean up the mess Engle has made. No one’s strong enough to do it and not leave us in the same bullshit in a month or year. I came to you in the hopes you would.”

“I know.” I moved past him and yanked open the freezer for my espresso grounds. “More stress, more pressure, more to do. Everyone wants more from me while asking me to stop other things. What do I give up? Where do I cut people off? The wolves would say my job. My job would say my personal life. I don’t even know what you guys would say, probably my job.” I slammed the freezer door closed and stared at him, letting him see how serious I was. “But don’t you dare
ever
ask me to give up my job.”

“I won’t,” he whispered, bobbing his head.

“Good, because
I won’t
,” I assured him. “My job is who I am, it’s what I love. It’s a shitstorm and chaos now, but when I get past this and have a well-oiled team, I will be thrilled. I worked my ass off to get where I am, even with the hiccups of becoming a wolf. I’m the youngest division chief the FBI has ever had. All eyes are on me. I’m sorry for last night, but help me, or just hold your breath and wait until I can get my head above the water for a second before you bring me another lecture.”

I turned to measure out the grounds for my iced latte.

Riley growled and spun me around to face him, espresso flying everywhere. “I was going to apologize until that last condescending remark. This isn’t a
lecture
. I don’t have the answers. You were so goddamn exhausted you fell asleep in the
tub
. This is someone who cares for you fucking panicked that you could have drowned or with your dangerous work get
shot
because you’re so tired. I was hurt last night too, but I am
scared
for you
. That’s what this is about!”

I blinked at him a moment before dropping the bag and measuring spoon—and kissed him. Riley gasped as I claimed his lips, my hands fisting his soft light blond hair and dragging his body against mine. His hands pinned me against the counter and practically devoured each other until air became necessary.

“Yelling turn you on?” he panted, his eyes wide as he studied me.

“No,” I chuckled, giving him another peck. “You care enough about me to fight for me—even if it’s with me. I’m sorry. I didn’t see that’s what this was. I thought someone was just harping on me again that I needed to pick up the pace or do it better.”

“No, Sera,” he sighed as he moved away. I bent down and opened the cabinet under the sink, pulling out the dustpan. “God no. You’re handling more than anyone
should have to
. I can’t believe how fast you’re adapting. I’m begging you to let me help before you drown.” And I saw the fear in his eyes that he meant literally, not just figuratively. I swept up a large area around the espresso machine and dumped it out in the garbage before handing it over to him. He’d spilled grounds after all, even if they’d been in my hand.

“I don’t know how. I don’t know
how
you can help me,” I admitted. I measured out my scoops and hit the start button.

“What do you need on the wolf front? I’m a
wolf
after all. I’ve been with the pack for years. Use me. Let me help you,” he begged.

And then I kind of felt like an idiot. That had never even crossed my mind. I nodded. “Yeah, not in an official capacity, but
yeah
, I could use help putting together some pieces. I found out a few things that I think might shed some light on what we’ve been missing and you might be able to make out the Monet we’ve been looking at.”

“Okay, good,” he sighed, tapping the dustpan against the garbage. He kissed my cheek as he stuffed it back under the sink. “I have to get to the hospital, but we’ll talk later, yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Fix things with Tristan, Sera. He was frantic last night. He blames himself for all of this, like if he hadn’t obeyed Vlad’s orders to come after you, none of this shit would have dropped into your life.”

“Why would he put that on
himself
?” My stomach clenched as I glanced over my shoulder at him.

He gave me a sad smile as he pulled away and picked up his to-go mug. “It’s what men do when they love someone and they’re not loved back. It has to be his fault or something he’s done that you don’t love him.”

“What?” I gasped, grabbing onto the counter to steady myself.

Riley did a double take and his hand froze on his keys. “Jesus, you didn’t realize it—did you?” I shook my head. “Sera, he loves you, is
in
love with you.”

“We care for each other but we just
met
,” I wheezed as my heart tried to beat out of my chest. “I mean, days before you and I did. I’m not there, Riley.”

“Sometimes people just know.”

“He’s not sure what he feels for me,” I argued. “I’m his sovereign and his siren and his lover. He says it’s all jumbled—complicated.”

Complicated was one word for it especially since only vampires were supposed to be able to
sovereign
other vampires. Basically it was when a vampire made another one. They gave a piece of themselves to the new vampire, their life force, or whatever it was called, kept the newbie alive.
In general.
I found there were a
lot
of those in the paranormal world.

But like there was a hierarchy with the wolves, there was one with vampires. If a vampire wasn’t powerful enough to be a Master on their own—like Chief Monroe—and just an everyday, normal vampire as Tristan was, they gave up their right to sustain themselves by swearing allegiance to the local Master vampire. It kept order when a corrupt or rogue person could potentially be so powerful. One word from a Master and they had to stand down.

When I made Tristan mine, I’d cut his bond with Vlad and somehow he’d become mine. No, no one seemed to know how that happened or really worked, it was a siren thing, but whatever, the principle was the same as if I were a vampire… Which made things between Tristan and I more complicated than normal lovers.

Riley shrugged as he picked up his keys and bag. “Doesn’t mean he doesn’t know his own heart and who he loves.”

I watched him leave out the front door and jumped when the deadbolt clicked, lost in my own head. Right, what was that about not adding stress to my plate?
That
worked out well.

Now I was actually
thrilled
I was going shooting with Davis that morning.

An hour later, I was firing at zombies, focused, tension leaving my body with each round that left my gun. I emptied one clip, slid it out, and slapped in the next before moving over to the adjacent aisle and obliterating another zombie.

It worked out well we had the range to ourselves. I didn’t really need anyone seeing another meltdown of mine.

On the bright side, Davis was doing
awesome
now that we weren’t shooting people targets.

“Wanna talk, Sera?” she hedged when we stopped to reload our clips. “You never came to the party last night. We were worried.”

“Apparently I fell asleep in the tub,” I grumbled, shaking my head as I pushed the next bullet into the clip so forcefully it pinged right off the spring and landed a few feet away. “Just working out some things.”

She chuckled, bumping my shoulder. “So it would seem. Come on, you know I keep my mouth shut. You’re here helping me on our day off. Unload on me.”

It was a tempting offer and she
did
keep things to herself. But still… “Kinda can’t without seeming like I’m bitching about you,” I admitted sheepishly, my chest tightening.

“Are you going to say—
that Davis is a real disappointment and promoting her is all my stress
?”

“No,” I snorted, rolling my eyes at her. “Nothing like that.”