Allure of the Wolf (Seraphine Thomas Book 2) (13 page)

“Do you really believe that?” he murmured and I nodded, too choked up on his emotions and what I was getting from him to speak. He kissed my neck and pulled away. “Save me a dance?”

“As many as you want,” I swore to him. He asked me what I wanted to drink and I ordered two of what Terry had wanted.

Let me help,
my siren pleaded with me.
I saw more than you did because you were distracted
. At this point I was willing to try anything, and she had more than proven she was better at this stuff than I was, so yeah, I tagged her in.

Tristan brought back two red drinks and handed them to me and I leaned in again.

“You’re off tomorrow, right?” I wondered where my siren was going with this one.

“Yes, why?” He scrunched up his eyebrows but nodded.

“Havers agreed to help me with getting my people field-ready but he’s mostly nervous about the vampires and a few of the shifters. I’d really like to run over some of their files with you and ask your opinion on several things before I fill him in on specifics. I want to make sure I have everything in order before I risk my people in his hands and I trust your judgment more than I ever did his.”

“Sera, he used to be your
boss
,” he mumbled as he glanced down, probably not wanting to see what he thought was the proof of my placating his tantrum or something. “You guys worked together for years.”

I tapped my fingers on the bar and glanced away. “Right, you missed our argument last night. I forgot about that.”

“Are you okay? What argument?” he worried as he reached over and cupped my cheek.

“Yeah, physically, I just finally admitted how hard it was to deal with feeling betrayed by my team and people I trusted. I would never have done that to them. They hurt me and I told him it was strangers who kept me together through all this and I would always pick them first now because they’re who was there for me when I needed help.”

“Your new team.”

“No, not just them. You were a stranger to me too. I know who to trust now.”

He smiled at me, rubbing his thumb against my skin. “I’m glad.” He gave me a soft kiss and rolled his eyes when someone shouted for him again.

I chuckled and moved away, taking the drinks with me. Then I mentally gave my siren a high five. Yeah, she’d handled that well all right.

Terry’s drink choice was
excellent
and we enjoyed them thoroughly before heading out to the dance floor. I was very careful not to dance with anyone but her, being respectful of Tristan.

He
on the other hand got his moment of revenge when he took a break to feed. I watched as some woman who was
throwing
herself at him just about burst with excitement when he nodded and jumped over the bar. Then he moved away from the crowd and pulled her to him so her back was against his chest, his eyes meeting mine as his arm wrapped around the woman. Tristan grabbed her hair, tilting her neck to the side, and sank his fangs into her flesh.

Power flowed over my skin, and I rubbed my arms.
Don’t, he gets this one.

Yes, yes he does,
my siren agreed as she toned it back.

I kept dancing with Terry but did what he wanted and watched him. When he was done, he closed the marks and gave the woman a chaste kiss even as she begged him to take her somewhere private and fuck her all night. I ground my teeth and kept it together.

Tristan moved away from her, licking his lips as he smiled at me before leaping back over the bar and going back to work.

Yeah, I got it. He was wanted, desired. I never doubted that for one second.
I
wanted him.

“Did you enjoy that show?” Vlad asked when the song was over and Terry and I moved off the floor to get another drink.

“No, no I didn’t,” I admitted, my temperature rising even as my throat seemed to close. “Not one fucking
bit
.”

“Would it make you feel better to know he only drinks from their wrists since he’s met you?”

“Why would you tell me that?” I hedged, glancing at him as Terry leaned over and talked the bartender. I looked over my shoulder at Tristan back at the main bar and then to Vlad again. “He obviously wants me to think otherwise. Why spoil his ploy?”

“Because I can see how you feel about Noah is about a tenth of what you feel for Tristan,” Vlad explained as he busied himself, smoothing out his satin shirt. “He cannot through his conflicting emotions with you being his sovereign
and
siren
and
lover. I have known Tristan a very,
very
long time and this is the first I have witnessed him be jealous. Some jealously is healthy. Jealously like
that
with a siren can be ugly and dangerous to their relationship. I do not wish this for you both.”

“Thank you for telling me. You’re a good friend.”

“You did me a great favor by ridding me of Bernard,” he mumbled, still not meeting my eyes. “It hurts me still and I do not like to admit it, but my business and my affairs suffered because of him. He could have been my downfall and I would never have been the wiser. You are not cruel as he was. You will
never
do the same to Tristan. I know you didn’t kill the man for me, but still, you made a friend for life for the help you gave me because I could not have done it myself and it
had
to be done.”

I didn’t have the chance to reply because he was gone by the time I blinked. Wow. That was more than I would ever have thought he would ever have opened up to me.

“What was all that about?” Terry asked as she handed me my drink.

“Nothing,” I mumbled before taking a sip. “Just proof we all have demons we need help with no matter who we are.”

“I’ll toast to that,” she chuckled, clinking her glass with mine.

We went back to dancing after we finished that round, and I found myself no longer making sure I glanced over at Tristan so he saw I was focused on him. Hell, the longer we stayed, the more I wanted to leave. The night was ruined for me. I was willing to apologize, grovel, and make up for what had happened with Noah—but I didn’t like games and
revenge
.

And I was tired of getting hit on. Davis was having fun though, and I’d promised her a girls’ night so I stayed. A while later she started dancing with someone she seemed interested in and I was more than ready for a break so I slowly eased my way towards the edge of the dance floor when a firm, cool body pressed up against me.

One I knew pretty well.

“I told you there were perks to working here,” Tristan murmured in my ear.

“So I saw.” I went to pull away, too tired and upset to play the game he wanted to.

“You
are
jealous.” He spun me around to face him and was actually
smiling
.

“Yes, you won. I was jealous.
Congratulations
,” I admitted, yanking my arm out of his hold.

“You needed to see what I felt—”

“That was
not
the same as what I did.” I turned away, not wanting to do this on the dance floor in front of people. I got about ten feet before he blocked my path and moved me against one of the lilac poles throughout the club that looked like a big icicle to help the decor and hid me from sight of others.

But that too was
freezing
and I shivered when I realized it was real ice at my naked back. The support beams were basically large, lit up cooling units meant to keep constant ice sculptures in the club while decorating at the same time.

“No, you
fucked
Noah,” he growled, his fangs popping out as his eyes went dark. “I had to stand out there with your team and your people while your ex-lover rambled about watching you fuck my
friend
and scream his name while I was
right there
!”

“I’m sorry, that had to be horrible for you but that’s the last time I’m apologizing for it,” I whispered, hanging my head. “You’re not my husband, we didn’t date and decide to move in together. You know what this is. I wasn’t thinking of anything besides helping Noah and
I
need
his
help so him being mad at me would suck right now. I was revved up and it just
happened
. I wasn’t planning it like your little show, so yeah, I’m done apologizing. Mine wasn’t intentional. I don’t hurt people intentionally. I didn’t think you did either.”

“Sera, you have—”

“When you called me
evil
in front of people I kissed Noah to appease my siren.” I raised my head and let him see that tears were in my eyes. “Thirty-eight days, Tristan. That’s how long I’ve been a wolf. It was thirty-eight days ago that I was scratched to shit in a bust and turned into what I am.”

“And a siren. Can’t forget you’re a siren,” he sighed as he yanked his fingers through his hair with one hand but still boxing me in with his body and other arm.

“You say that like
slut
,” I chuckled darkly, wiping under my eyes so the tears came out without screwing up my makeup. “Maybe I am now. But you want to know the funny fucking thing about that? I lost my virginity at
nineteen
because I didn’t want to graduate college and go into the Navy an inexperienced
loser
like I kept hearing people say. I got played. I was stupid and naive and
young
.”

“We’ve all been there,” he hedged, searching my face as if wondering where this was going.

“Yeah, we have, but I’m twenty-eight now. I was twenty-eight when I got involved with Havers,” I explained, bobbing my head. “He made my
grand number
jump to
three
. Three men I’d slept with in twenty-eight years. I’ve been a wolf/siren, whatever, for just over five weeks and slept with three more. So yeah, I’m a huge fucking
slut
. You caught me. I was the absolute best person for this strain of werewolf lycanthropy to hit. I’m so capable of handling
any
of this.”

“Sera, stop, I—”

“Go bite someone else,” I whispered as I felt tears overflow my eyes. “Go fuck someone else. Get your revenge. Whatever you need, Tristan. I get it. We’re not exclusive. We can’t be because of what I am. We’re not dating or ever going to be normal. I’m not your girlfriend. We’re just roommates because I sovereigned you and you want to fuck me but not have me fuck anyone else.”

He was blurry but it almost looked as if all the color drained from his face. I couldn’t smell what he was feeling because there was too much going on in the club and I was so all over the place. “No, that’s
not
what I’m saying.”

“You know, the funny thing about all of this?” I sniffled as I ducked under his arm, wiping my eyes again. “Riley said you were in love with me. I was
so
determined to fix my fuck-up no matter what because in all the chaos around me the only thing I was sure of was that we were an
us
, that I had you at my back and we were solid, whatever we are.”

“I
do
love you,” he whimpered as he grabbed for me, but I stepped out of reach.

“You have a funny way of showing it when I come here
groveling
for accidentally hurting your feelings when I didn’t betray you or cheat. You knew I was going to sleep with Noah and be his moon mate. You said you were fine with it and what my siren needs. The first time since that conversation something happens and you’re punishing me. Yeah, that’s
love
.”

I spun away and darted towards the bathroom as fast as I could on my heels. I saw Davis break away from her dance partner and I waved her off. Let her have fun.

There was a line for the ladies room and I cursed, too far into my meltdown to stop now. I tried to take some deep breaths but my eyes wouldn’t stop burning. When I turned around—deciding to get some fresh air instead—a strong arm wrapped around me from behind and whisked me off into the private employees bathroom.

“You don’t like people seeing you upset,” Tristan mumbled as he set me back on my feet, the door clicking shut behind us. “Especially strangers.”

“No, no I don’t,” I agreed, ducking my head as I moved over to the sink.

“You’re not a slut,” he breathed in my ear as he molded his body to my back, his hands moving around my body to the front of my hips. I tried to pull away when he kissed my neck and I heard him suck in a shaky breath. “
Please
don’t, Sera. Let me explain. I feel like you just broke up with me and I’m losing it. I need to explain.”

Had that been what I’d just done? I thought about it a moment and I kept coming back to the same answer… Basically. Wow. I
really
did
suck at this relationship stuff. I gave the slightest nod as I glanced up and stared at him in the mirror, his cobalt blue eyes fixed on me in the glass.