Almost Matched (Almost Bad Boys) (15 page)

I sense another orgasm building up, but I hold off. I’m not ready to let g, because Colin’s full attention is on me. His mind is not wandering into some dark, lonely place where I have no access. For an instant I deem myself selfish, but I quickly dismiss the absurd thought. My chest constricts, and the sweetness of the moment makes me realize that I love this man. I love everything about him, even his grim secrets, because they are part of who he is.
 

I open my mouth to tell him how I feel, but he beats me to it. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear and buries his face in my hair. His words are unexpected, and I spiral into a splendid orgasm.
 
Colin plunges faster into me, his breath rugged, his hand roaming over my breast. With almost indiscernible grunt he finds his release and stills.
 

I’m panting, and my heart hammers in my chest. Slowly, he lifts his head and gazes at me. He looks vulnerable and almost surprised.
 

“I love you too.” I trace the oval of his beautiful face with my index finger and smile.
 

He hesitates but only for a second, and then he grins at me that dazzling, crooked smile that I adore. “That was mind-blowing,” he admits.
 

“Couldn’t agree more.” I pull his face down and claim his mouth with mine.

THIRTEEN

“Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.”

Seneca

Since our last date—the one with my culinary experimenting—I’ve been noticing that Colin acts absentminded more often. It’s been four days and now, undeniably, there is more internal struggle going on in his head than ever before. Is this something to do with me? Why won’t he say anything? Are we heading toward breakup? Is what we have together too much for him to bear? This reminds me way too much of my past relationships. I start to worry; really
really
worry.

Yesterday we had our first fight. A misunderstanding really. But still, we were fighting. I roll my eyes, thinking of it. The whole conflict could have been easily avoided if any of us tried harder. We started to watch some stupid sci-fi movie at his place. I found it so boring that I stood up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to check my phone. Caroline left me a voicemail message. She just wanted us to go out with Ali and Jena sometime soon. Since I’ve met Colin, I’ve been spending all my time with him, and the girls began to complain how rarely the four of us get together.
 

I called Caroline. I missed her a lot. Jena too. I see Ali everyday at work, and although we don’t have too much time for socializing in the office, it’s still better than nothing. I spent probably over forty minutes on the phone with Caroline, and then texted with Ali and Jena for another half hour or so. When the movie was over, Colin was upset that I was still on the phone. Geez, hold your horses, I’m not your possession, damn it. So from one word to another, and we ended up in a heated fight. I decided to go home to cool off and give him some space to do the same.
 

But today I didn’t hear from Colin at all. We normally talk and text several times each day, so not hearing from him sets me on edge. I check my phone again, but there is nothing from him. I’m getting really frustrated. Soon I will have to start looking for something to punch.
 

After work Ali and Caroline arrive in my apartment to hang out for a bit. Jena had to cancel at the last moment, which makes me sad. I haven’t seen her in over two weeks! Ali finally drowns down her beer and gets up. “Let’s go. I want to go to Blue Fin.”

Caroline says she only had breakfast today, so it doesn’t surprise me how fast she gets out of my apartment. I could use a bite to eat too.

The weather is dry, and we decide to walk. Blue Fin Sports Bar is only three blocks away from my place. It takes us no time to get there.
 

Ali insists on sitting at the bar. “Ash is here.” She points with her chin toward the bar, a smile spreading on her face.
 

She has the biggest crush on Ashton Duncan, the bartender who’s been working in Blue Fin ever since I remember. He’s finishing up at the UW to earn his law degree. Ash has been always super friendly and kind to us, but nothing else. Ali has tried all kinds of special Ali-charm on him with no success.
 

“I’m telling you, he’s secretly gay,” Caroline keeps telling her whenever Ali’s face falls as the result of Ash’s none-the-less (but nothing-more-than-that) brotherly demeanor toward her.
 

‘Bullshit’ is Ali’s standard reply. Caroline shrugs, probably not completely convinced either way, but I agree with Ali. In my opinion, Ash is as straight as they come. But none of us can decipher him; no matter how hard we try.
 

Caroline and I order appletinis, but Ali can’t decide on her choice of a drink.
 

Ash puts some yummy-looking concoction in front of her. “This one is on the house,” he announces, and his timid smile melts our hearts.
 

We hoot in delight.

“Oh, baby girl,” I coo, batting my eyelashes at Ali.
 

She rolls her eyes at me, and then leans boldly across the bar to say something to Ashton. Her boobs perk up and push up and do whatever boobs do when needed. I watch Ash’s reaction, ready to analyze all his facial expressions and body language. His eyes open just a tad wider, but enough for me to notice. He licks his lips. He actually licks his lips! Oh, this is Ali’s day for sure.
 

I elbow Caroline. I have a hard time containing my excitement for Ali. Ash presses down another slice of orange onto the rim of Ali’s glass and tells her about his latest sailing trip with his buddies. All her attention is on him. I don’t even need to say anything to Caroline. She just winks at me, and we unobtrusively stand up and turn to walk toward the ladies room.
 

In the bathroom Caroline and I explode into a heated debate over Ash’s sudden change of heart.
 

“She’s
so
going to score tonight,” I announce while powdering my nose and forehead. There are tiny beads of sweat over my lips. I attack them with Kleenex from the box on the counter. My cell phone dings, announcing an arrival of a text: HE ASKED ME OUT!

“Oh. My. God,” I squeal and show Caroline the text from Ali. “Told ya.” I point my finger at my bestie, as if trying to convince her that she had any doubts. Which, I suspect, she did.
 

Caroline beams. “Good for her. She’s been drooling over that boy for way too long.”
 

“It’s about damn time,” I agree.
 

I’m starting to text Ali back, when the bathroom door opens with a bang against the wall, and Ali storms in, a huge grin on her face.
 

“Woot!” Caroline high-fives Ali.
 

Ali slaps Caroline’s hand and walks around the bathroom, swinging her hips to the sides. She gestures to us a ‘bring it on’, and we hoot and clap in delight as she continues her catwalk, hands on hips, lips comically pursed.
 

I cross my arms under my breasts and grin. In my peripheral vision I see Caroline regarding the round landscape of my chest. I turn my head toward her and notice a wistful look on her sweet face. Instinctively, my arms go down to my sides. Caroline chews on her lip, but smiles a little when our eyes meet. Ali is completely unaware of our brief, wordless boob conversation. Damn, Caroline you can’t be serious about those implants.
 

“So? What’s the plan?” I ask Ali.
 

“He invited me to have sushi with him at the University Village. He’s off tomorrow night,” Ali says excitedly, pulling a red lipstick out of her small clutch. She applies it, and then runs a matching lip pencil around the contour of her lips, perfecting the look.
 

Caroline and Ali talk about the food at the Village Sushi, but my thoughts wander to Colin. Why isn’t he calling or texting me? It’s just not like him. That fight last night is not the reason. I can’t believe it would be. So what’s going on?
 

We go back and order burgers and fries. Caroline and I move to a booth, but Ali stays at the bar and openly flirts with Ash. He seems to be immensely enjoying that. Wow, what a change! I gulp my drink somehow absentmindedly, brooding over Colin, despite Caroline’s chatter. I decide to have a beer.
 

“Mixing?” Caroline lifts her eyebrows at me.
 

I sigh and shrug.

“What’s wrong?” She stops chewing and puts her burger down, looking at me.
 

“I really don’t know. Colin has been acting weird lately. He’s… withdrawn. More than ever.”

“You’re not fighting, are you?” she asks.
 

“Yeah, we had a fight yesterday, but... I don’t know. He never wants to talk much about what bothers him. But it’s as if life around him halts to a stop, and he steps over some invisible threshold. I think it must be very dark where he goes.”

Caroline sighs. “He’s crazy about you, Nat.”

“I know. I just wish he would talk to me.”

A waitress puts my beer glass in front of me. “There you go.”

“Thanks.” I smile and take a long draw of the amber-colored liquid. It tastes wonderful. I turn to Caroline and lift my glass. “Cheers.”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Slow down. You still have to walk back home.”

My cell phone dings, announcing a text message. I immediately pick it up from the table, but my face falls. It’s Clair, my book club friend, asking if she can catch a ride with me to our meeting next week. ‘Sure’ I text her back.
 

I push away my plate, suddenly not able to eat another bite. I finish my beer and get our waitress’s attention. When I order an appletini, Caroline’s eyebrows knit together. She eyes me suspiciously, but I tell her that I’ll be fine. I start to get a buzz, and it helps me lighten up. I’ve been so preoccupied since last night with Colin not calling me, that I welcome this relaxing sensation.
 

That second appletini goes straight into my head. Caroline talks about her mom’s recent health problems. I can’t concentrate on her words. I punch ‘Where r u?’ on my phone and tap Send button. The text leaves for Colin’s phone with a little swoosh sound.

“I need to go pee,” I tell Caroline, trying to sound sober. I stand up, and my head spins a little. Whoa. Now I have to try to
walk
sober too. Crap. I manage, but when I’m in the bathroom, the walls sway around me, and I have to steady myself, grabbing onto the sink.
 

On my way back I glance at Ali. She’s laughing at something Ash says to her while pouring another customer a glass of wine. I’m happy for her. She needs someone better than a sex buddy, no matter what she tells herself.
 

I collapse into my booth seat and check my phone again. No text back. What the hell? I send another message to him, insisting on a phone call. A moment later he calls me.
 

“What took you so long?” I try to keep the accusatory tone from my voice. Instead, I slur terribly.
 

“Natalie? Are you okay? Where are you?” Colin demands.
 

“I’m in the booth, and you’re not.” I pat the seat next to me.
 

Caroline rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m taking you home,” she mouths silently, but I ignore her.

I drop the phone by accident and swear. It clunks to the floor and under the table. I try to reach it, but sway and almost fall off the seat. “Fuck,” I complain.
 

Caroline crawls under the table and retrieves my cell phone. “Seriously, Nat. I haven’t seen you this drunk since your eighteenth birthday. Let’s go home.”

“No!”
 

“Shhh,” she shushes me.
 

I press my phone to my ear and whisper severely, “Colin, are you there?”

“Yeeees,” he sounds suspicious. “Why are you whispering? Where are you?”

“Blue F…” I hiccup. “Sorry.”

“Are you drunk?” Colin’s voice instantaneously becomes anxious.
 

“You need to come here,” I command. Why am I so domineering? Must be the booze.