Authors: Dianne Blacklock
âCheers,' said Georgie, clinking her bottle against his after the waiter had left. She took a sip, trying to ignore the fact that he was watching her with an intensity that was a little unsettling. Now she was the one feeling uncomfortable. She looked out the window across the water. âIt's a beautiful spot. You'll have to thank your friend for the recommendation.'
Liam took a deep breath in and out. âI'm sorry for not calling over the weekend.'
âWe already went through this, on the phone,' Georgie reminded him. âIt's okay.'
âThe thing is, you said the other day that I'd only disappoint you if I didn't callâ'
âI didn't meanâ'
He held up his hand to stop her. âWhat I'm trying to say is that all weekend I kept thinking, I don't want to disappoint her.'
Georgie felt her heart thumping. She felt her blood pulsating through her veins and she felt giddy. It was like cresting the highest peak on a rollercoaster â you know what's ahead of you, ups and downs and thrills and fear and exhilaration. You wish you had never got on the ride, but you hope the ride will never end.
âIt's just that,' Liam went on, âwell, there are things you don't know about me.'
Georgie shrugged. âAnd there are things you don't know about me. We could have fun finding out.'
âI'm sure we could.' He smiled faintly, but the
expression in his eyes was serious. âI just don't know if I'll be able to . . . meet your expectations.'
Georgie considered him thoughtfully. âHow do you know what my expectations are?' she said. âOr even if I have any, for that matter.'
âWhat do you mean?'
âI might prefer not to have any expectations of you, Liam, then I can't be disappointed.'
âEverybody has expectations,' he said wryly.
âMaybe I'm not everybody.'
âI can't argue with that, you're certainly not like anybody I've ever met.' He paused. âAnd I meant that as a compliment.'
âI took it as one,' Georgie smiled. She sipped her drink and placed it back on the table, leaning towards him. âLook, I'll admit, I did feel a little anxious over the weekend, and so did you, and it was all because we had expectations. I wondered if you would ring, you wondered if you should ring. It'd be a relief not to worry about things like that, don't you reckon?'
He considered her. âYou actually think it's possible not to have any expectations in a relationship?'
Georgie thought about it. âWell, let's not call it a relationship in the first place. The word itself is loaded.'
Liam frowned. âSo if it's not a relationship, and there are no expectations, what are we doing here?'
âWhat we are doing here,' said Georgie calmly, âis enjoying each other's company, getting to know each other, without some preordained destination in mind. If people were not so consumed with where they were headed all the time, they might enjoy the
scenery along the way, and they might even find tracks leading to new and interesting places. They could go back to their original path any time they wanted, or they might decide to follow one of those unexplored tracks and find themselves somewhere they never knew existed, and there may be things they never expected to see there, and they may not ever want to leave. Yet they would never have known that track even existed if they had continued single-mindedly along the one path, heading in the one direction.'
He was smiling at her. âI think that's the longest metaphor I've ever heard in my life. I'm impressed.'
âIt wasn't bad, was it?' Georgie agreed. A lot better than her âgame of love' stinker. She took a sip of her drink. It was strange how nothing had changed but at the same time everything had. A few well-placed remarks, a significant birthday, Liam walking into the shop. Georgie felt as though she was at a turning point. This was her chance to reinvent herself. She could be nutty, fickle, old-model Georgie, or she could be confident, live for the moment, new improved Georgie. The old model had got her nowhere. It was time for an upgrade.
âThe thing is, Liam, I'm so glad you rang, and right now, right at this moment, I'm enjoying myself, just sitting here, having a drink with you. I don't want to spoil it by thinking about tomorrow, or next week, or what might happen six months from now. I have a tendency to do that. Maybe this time I'd like to do it differently.'
Georgie met his gaze openly. She actually felt
excited. She genuinely believed she could do this. Live in the moment as each moment presented itself, instead of becoming buried under doubts and demands, missed cues and misunderstanding.
Liam stared down at his beer bottle, scratching at the label with his thumbnail. âI can't fault what you're saying. But I just don't think people can help themselves. They always expect more, more than you can possibly give. And even after you've given yourself completely, it's not enough. That's when you realise that obviously what you had to give was never going to be enough.'
He seemed to be lost in thought. Georgie wondered what he was on about. He looked up at her after a while. âSorry,' he said, rousing.
âOh dear, what happened to you?'
âI guess I have a few battle scars.'
âYeah, I can see them from here.'
He sighed. âThat's why I'm a little . . .'
âBitter?' she suggested.
Liam grinned sheepishly. âI was going to say apprehensive.'
âOh see, the problem with being apprehensive,' said Georgie, âis that you stick to the safe paths.'
âSo we're back to the metaphor?'
âYou said it was a good one.'
âI did.'
Georgie took a sip of her drink. âWell I, for one, am sick of feeling apprehensive.'
âYou too?'
âSure.'
âWho broke your heart?'
She didn't want to talk about her father right now. One day she'd tell him, but not tonight.
âPaul Robertson in grade two,' she replied. âHe was such a worm.'
Liam smiled. âNo one since?'
âNo one I'd take seriously. My brother thinks I'm too fussy. He said I should stop hanging out for Mr Perfect.'
âOh, so that's why you agreed to come out with me tonight?'
Georgie laughed.
âSo, this Mr Perfect,' Liam went on, âwhat's he like?'
âI don't know, he never showed.'
âSo, not so perfect after all?'
âYou're absolutely right,' agreed Georgie. âMr Perfect would be punctual.'
âAnd sensitive? Women like that, don't they?'
âHmm, but the snag's getting a bit old. I mean, he still has to be sensitive, completely in tune with your needs. But he should be strong as well. You know, a “take charge” kind of guy, when the situation calls for it. The rest of the time he should do whatever I tell him.'
Liam grinned. âWhat else?'
âWell, he'd have to be good-looking of course, but beauty being in the eye of the beholder as it is, there's room to move there. A sense of humour, on the other hand, is essential. He'd have to be able to make me laugh. And he'd have to be able to fix leaking taps and hang pictures, that kind of thing.'
âOh?'
âI know it's sexist, but we are talking perfect, aren't we?'
âWe are.'
âSo he'd write me poetry on Valentine's Day,' she went on, âbut he'd also be quite athletic, though he'd never watch a football game when he could be spending time with me. He'd be accomplished in at least one musical instrument, and fluent in a couple of languages. And he'd be a gourmet cook, but always clean up after himself . . .' Georgie paused, frowning. âHe'd be really insufferable, wouldn't he?'
They both laughed.
âSo what about the perfect female?' said Georgie. âThat's easier to define, isn't it?'
âWhy do you say that?'
âBecause it comes down to one thing with blokes. What's that joke, something about the perfect woman arriving naked with a six-pack of beer and turning into a pizza at midnight?'
Liam shook his head. âThat's in very poor taste, Georgie.'
âBut so true!'
âNot for me, it isn't.'
âOkay, give me your wish list,' she said.
âI don't have a list.'
âCome on, just hypothetically,' she urged. âComplete the following sentence, “My perfect woman would be . . .”'
Liam became thoughtful. âHappy,' he said finally.
âThat's it?'
âThat's a lot.'
âDefine “happy”.'
He shrugged. âContent . . . with herself, with her life, happy sharing it with me,' he said simply.
Georgie looked at him. âThat doesn't seem such a lot.'
âYou'd be surprised.'
She wondered what had happened to him. Who had hurt him. And why she had the overwhelming feeling she wanted to make it all better.
âWell, you've made me sound positively greedy,' said Georgie. âI'd like to revise my position.'
Liam smiled. âGo right ahead.'
She took a deep breath. âThe perfect man . . . would only want me to be happy.'
He just stared at her, and she met his gaze unblinking. Slowly his hand moved across the table until his fingers grazed against hers.
âHow would he go about making you happy?' he asked eventually.
âOh, you see, I don't expect a lot.' Georgie turned her hand over and entwined her fingers through his. âIt seems to me he's pretty much on the right track now.'
They were still holding hands when they left the bar and meandered back to the car. It wasn't raining just then, and neither of them seemed to be in any hurry. Liam aimed the remote at his car to unlock it and walked to the passenger side to open the door for her. Georgie stepped around, facing him as he reached for the handle. They looked at each other for a moment, and without saying anything, Liam
brought his arms around her, drawing her close and Georgie dissolved into him, meeting his lips without hesitation. It was as though it had been choreographed, like they had rehearsed it over and over to get it perfect. Liam kissed her tenderly but firmly, there was none of the tentativeness of the other day. Georgie tucked her arms around him, under his jacket, holding him tight as they kept right on kissing, even after it started to rain again. It was only light at first, but before long it was falling steadily and she could feel it soaking into her hair, dripping down the side of her face. Reluctantly, she drew back.
âIt's raining,' she said.
Liam smiled down at her. âSo it is.'
As they drove home Georgie had a debate with herself about whether to ask him up when they got to her place. It didn't necessarily mean they had to have sex, but it was a pretty powerful nudge in that direction. They'd had enough dates, hadn't they? If she counted Liam's second visit to the shop, along with lunch on the beach, then this was their third date. That was acceptable, wasn't it?
And who had made the three-date rule anyway? Georgie was trying to recall if she'd heard it somewhere, or if she'd made it up herself. And if she had made it up herself, she wondered if it had anything at all to do with her tendency not to venture past the second date. Had she made up a stupid rule to give herself an excuse to avoid intimacy? Whoa, more
fodder for some therapist's couch. Where was all this coming from?
She directed Liam to her place, putting a firm muzzle on her inner voice. She was supposed to be living in the moment. There were no rules. If she felt like asking Liam up when they got to her place, then that's what she would do. She would allow the moment to simply assert itself.
âYou can park just over there,' Georgie said.
Liam cut the engine and shifted sideways, unbuckling his seatbelt. âWhich one is yours?' he asked, leaning across her to see out the window.
Georgie pointed up. âIt's on the third floor, second from the back.' Was that a hint? Was she supposed to say, âCome on up, I'll show you'?
He turned his head to look at her and then, without hesitating, without even the slightest hint of awkwardness, he drew close to kiss her again. They really did have this kissing thing down pat. In fact, she realised, bringing her hand up to hook it around his neck, they were pretty good at it. She liked the way he kissed. Kissing compatibility was very important, when you got right down to it. If you didn't have that, you were unlikely to get much further. Georgie had heard dozens of stories from women who had dropped an unsatisfactory kisser after the first date. But Liam was perfect. Not too firm or overpowering, but not inhibited either, or worst of all, sloppy. And not too forceful with the tongue. It was just there, wandering around, getting to know hers. She could imagine that tongue wandering elsewhere . . . Okay, the moment was asserting itself loud and clear.
âDo you want to come up?' Georgie said breathlessly, against his lips.
Liam pulled back, gazing earnestly into her eyes. âI would love to come up.' He kissed her softly, holding her face in his hands. âBut I can't.'
Georgie felt her heart plummet. Suddenly she wanted him more than anything. She didn't know why she'd had even a moment's pause.
âI have to get back to the office,' Liam explained.
âNow? Tonight?'
He nodded. âI left early to meet you. I never leave the office that early. I have a couple of things I need to finish up.'
âSure, of course,' she said, trying unsuccessfully to hide her disappointment.
âI'm sorry,' he said.
Georgie could see the regret in his eyes. She put a finger to his lips. âYou don't have to be sorry. No expectations, remember?'
He smiled at her. âSo you'll still take my calls?'
âOf course,' she said lightly. âOh, but do you mind if we swap mobile numbers?' She really couldn't hang around the flat another weekend. Besides, she had no more drawers to line.