Always and Forever (23 page)

34.

M
att looked out at the blue water, sparkling and looking more movie scene than reality. The sand beneath his toes was almost white, and when he turned back to the resort, everything else was white, too. The seemingly hundreds of sun loungers and umbrellas were placed in rows to face the pool, which he knew from his early morning walk was the perfect place to look out at the ocean.

“Wait up!”

A flash of bright pink caught his eye and Lisa came rushing toward him, past the pool and out onto the sand. Her eyes were bright, smile wide as she landed at his side, breathless but grinning.

“What did I miss?” she asked.

“Blue sky, blue water, white sand, no noise . . .” He laughed. “Same as yesterday, only better.”

“Sounds like bliss.”

Matt felt like a weight had lifted from him, one he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying around for so long, and looking at Lisa only reminded him of how good things were starting to feel.

“I love it here,” Lisa said as she slid her arm around him. “This place has been good for me, for us. A new special place, maybe?”

Matt kissed her cheek. It had been rough acknowledging that they weren’t unbreakable after so many years of all their friends and family teasing them about how loved up they were, how they were the couple everyone wanted to be, but it had been worth it. It was like a more grown-up version of what they’d had instead of the easygoing childhood romance they’d begun with.

“I know this sounds way too ‘romance novel’ to come from me, but I heard a song awhile back that reminded me of you,” Matt said, clearing his throat, knowing it was stupid to be embarrassed about saying something romantic to his wife. “I want you as my beginning, middle and end, Lisa. I honestly mean that.”

She hugged him tight, her face turned up to him, smile wide. “I want that too, Matty. I know it’s going to be a different middle and end than we’d imagined, but I’m starting to be okay with that.”

“Good,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss, arm looped around her as he held her near. “Because I want that, too.”

“Hey, did you talk to your dad when you were home? Talk about how you felt, open up about what you told me the other day?”

“Yup,” Matt said. “I have you to thank for that, because when you pushed me away, I turned to him, and I couldn’t keep it all in any longer.”

She hugged him again. “Good. We need to move forward with everything out in the open. No regrets, no secrets.”

They strolled a bit longer, toes digging into the soft white sand.

“Would you mind if we kept the nursery for a bit longer? I know we’re not going to be using it, but I think I need to spend some time in there. Think about our baby and make peace with that at home, make sure I’ve dealt with it.” Lisa pushed out a loud sigh. “I can still imagine myself sitting there on the armchair, holding a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. I need to deal with that rather than bottle it up.”

“Want to do it together?” Matt asked, knowing that he needed to let a lot of his thoughts and regrets go, too. “I think I could do with spending some time in there, too. We closed the door that day but I think I need to open it again and go in. With you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

They walked a bit longer, in silence, the only sounds the ocean beside them and the birds circling above.

“Come with me,” Matt said, hearing the gruffness of his voice.

“Why?” she asked as she followed him.

“Because I want to stop talking and start dreaming about our future,” he replied. “I fully intend on taking you on a real road trip in the very near future in that shiny red Cadillac of ours.”

Lisa was laughing as he dragged her along by the hand. “Where are you taking me? You know I hate surprises.”

“What are you talking about? You
love
my surprises!” He listened to her groan and ignored her.

The beach was pristine so Matt couldn’t find a stick to etch the words in the sand that he’d wanted to. Instead, he bent down in the damp sand and put three fingers together to trace the letters, starting with his name. Then he spelled out Lisa’s name directly beneath it, before encircling them both in a big heart.

“That’s so beautiful,” she said, tears twinkling in her eyes.

“I hardly ever saw you cry, in all our years together, until that first cancer diagnosis,” Matt said, rubbing his thumb gently across her skin to wipe the tears away. “That’s why I always thought you were unbreakable, so damn strong that you would always be okay. It’s why I struggled so hard with everything that was happening to you, because the only other person I’d ever seen with such strength was my mom.”

“And now I’m a big crybaby all the time,” she said, shaking her head.

“No, you’re not,” Matt told her. “I just hope that from now on you don’t have so much to cry about, that’s all.”

He pulled her close, dropping his mouth over hers. Their lips moved in perfect harmony, the ocean lapping behind them, threatening to wipe out their names in the sand as they embraced. Matt’s hands ran down her body, skimming her hips, landed on her butt and stayed there.

“I’d like to scoop you up and carry you back to our room,” he muttered.

Lisa giggled and slapped her hands on
his
butt. “That sounds good.”

“Race you,” Matt whispered, slapping her butt.

Lisa jogged ahead, looking over her shoulder, smiling as she stayed just far enough in front of him, teasing him. It was the woman he’d always known; the smiling, carefree, constantly happy beach-blonde who’d stolen his heart when he hadn’t even known he had a heart. He’d always loved Lisa, but seeing her suffer from the moment of that diagnosis through to the termination and everything else that came after it had been rough. Trying to be the guy who could hold it together, who was strong enough for both of them—that had been harder than rough: it had almost broken him.

But he had his Lisa back now. His girl. And he was going to make the most of every damn day they had.

“Wait up, beautiful,” he called.

Lisa turned again and stopped, walking backward, laughing at him. Just as he was reaching for her, wanting her, she moved out of his grasp again and he wasn’t about to chase and tackle her when someone would probably see and not realize they were joking around. But Mexico was the perfect place in the world to be, and Lisa was the perfect person to be sharing it with.

“We could always go have some lunch,” she suggested, raising an eyebrow. “I know how you like to fill up before using all your energy.”

She squealed as he made a grab for her, laughing so hard that he couldn’t help but join in.

“Stop,” Lisa said, laughing, trying to push him away. But Matt was relentless. “Matt!” Her feet were bare against the cool porcelain tiles, the backs of her knees suddenly pressed against the soft white sheets of the bed.

He pushed her back instead, standing over her as she fell back onto the bed. She was only wearing a little summer dress, so it didn’t take much for him to shove it up and have half of her bare straight away.

“This is what I’ve been dreaming about,” he said. “My naked wife in Mexico.”

“Oh really?” Lisa said with a laugh.

“Yes, really,” he muttered, leaning over her, then falling forward, just missing crashing into her. “Shit!”

Lisa happily took charge, taking over.

“We need to go easy,” she said, softly kissing Matt’s lips as she bent forward. Lisa sat up slowly and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up. He obliged. “Take this slow.”

“A little over two weeks apart and I’m not interested in slow,” Matt grumbled.

Lisa didn’t let him keep speaking. She traced kisses across his abdomen, sucked and licked so slowly that it made him moan. And then she undid his shorts and pulled them down.

Then she raised her arms as he nudged at her top, slipped out of her dress and pulled it over her head before throwing it away.

“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” he growled.

“I’ve missed you,” she suddenly said, falling down on top of him, arms wrapped around him, skin to skin.

Lisa kissed him as tears fell from her lashes and merged with their lips, salty and full of love. The weeks without him had been so tough, almost impossible, but it was worth it for what they had now.

“I love you, Matty.”

“Good,” he said, hands tracing up and down her spine before slipping beneath the lace of her g-string. “Because we’re Matt and Lisa, and we’ve got to keep on making all the other couples jealous, right?”

She laughed against his mouth, tears long gone.

They were Matt and Lisa. And they were going to make it.

“So tell me,” Matt said, tracing invisible circles across her skin as they lay naked on the bed. It was so warm that they hadn’t bothered pulling the sheet up, their bodies no longer slick with sweat, slowly cooling beneath the overhead fan. “What are we going to do in Mexico? Because I’ve told my guys and your crew at work that we’re not coming home for at least two weeks.”

She moaned when he stopped stroking her skin, curled tighter into him like a cat wanting to be petted. “I’m not even going to argue with you. I want to stay here forever. How about you teach me how to surf?” she asked.

“Finally!” he said. “I’ll go rent the damn boards now!”

Lisa laughed. “And I want to write our names in the sand every day for the next two weeks and drink margaritas every night.”

“I’m loving you even more right now. You’re the perfect woman.”

“You better believe it.” Lisa stretched out, brushing a kiss along his jaw as she changed position. “Because I want us to both learn paddle-boarding, too.”

“You do all that, I’m gonna promise to tell you I love you every day for the rest of our lives.”

“You know, I could get used to this new romantic version of my husband,” she murmured, running her fingers through his hair and stretching her naked body forward so she was brushing against him.

“Dangerous move, baby, very dangerous move,” Matt growled.

She laughed. “Maybe I like dangerous.”

Matt kissed her, softly at first. She pushed into him, kissing him back, as hungry as he was.

“We’re gonna do all those things,” he muttered, mouth pulled away from hers just enough to talk. “Every goddamn thing.”

Lisa didn’t answer, her mouth hungrily searching out his again. What they’d had might not have been perfect, but if this was flawed, then he didn’t give a damn.

EPILOGUE

“Are you sure?” Matt asked, holding Lisa’s hand and studying her face.

She nodded. “Uh-huh. I’ll be fine.”

He doubted it, but he pushed open the door anyway and entered. The noise hit straight away, the barking and whimpering, and the sight of the dogs behind wire broke his heart.

“
Ohmygod
,” Lisa whispered, letting go of him and walking forward, hands to her face. “There’s so many.”

“I know,” Matt said with a grimace. “I know.”

He’d wanted to tell the helpful woman out front of the Haven Humane Society what they were looking for. She could have picked out a dog and brought it through to them, and they wouldn’t have had to see just how many animals were waiting to find a forever home. But Lisa had insisted.

“And we’re only getting one?” Lisa asked, glancing back at him, her eyes full of pleading.

“Baby, you know we can only get one,” Matt said, shoving a hand through his hair. “We find the best dog for us, and then we go.”

“I can’t,” she said, shaking her head.

“Yes, you can,” Matt said firmly, imagining their entire car full of new four-legged friends. Knowing his wife, he wouldn’t put it past her. “This is why I wouldn’t let you come alone.”

“No, I mean I can’t just turn my back on these other dogs. I can’t just pick one dog and go.”

He wasn’t following her, but he didn’t interrupt, just slowly scanned all the sad faces waiting for someone to pick them.

“I’m going to take pics of them all, each dog, and every day I’m going to post one on my Facebook and Instagram and try to find homes for them.”

Matt blew out a sigh of relief. “That sounds sweet.” She had a determined look on her face that made it clear she’d made her mind up. And he didn’t doubt for a second that she’d be able to talk people into wearing her clothes
and
copying her by adopting a rescue dog.

“So, do we even know what we’re looking for? I mean, there’s a nice Labrador down here, and we already know we love that breed.”

“No,” Lisa said, walking ahead, bending to talk to a tiny little fluff-ball that he was seriously praying she hadn’t fallen in love with. “I bet all the purebreds like that find a home, and all the cute little tiny ones, too.”

“So you want . . .” He wasn’t even sure what she was trying to say. “The ugliest one? The biggest one without a pedigree?”

“This one,” Lisa said, dropping to her knees, hands on the wire of the divider.

Matt caught up with her and glanced in, saw exactly why she’d fallen in love. He was scruffy, with big expressive eyebrows and even bigger brown eyes that were focused lovingly on his wife.

“He looks like he needs a bath,” Matt said, bending beside her and looking him over. “And a haircut.”

“He looks like he wants to be loved,” Lisa said quietly. “Along with every other damn dog here. But he’s the one.”

“Okay, he’s the one, then,” Matt agreed, not about to argue now that she’d chosen. The dog might not be beautiful like Blue, but he was big and friendly looking, and he sure beat a poodle.

“You go tell the lady. I’m going to sit here with him, so he doesn’t think we’re not taking him,” Lisa said.

Matt walked back past the other kennels and out through to the front of the adoption center.

“How are you getting on?” the lady asked.

“My wife has fallen in love with the scruffiest dog. He is in kennel thirty-two.”

“That’s Benji. He’s been here for months. Literally walked in off the street himself one day, like he knew where to look for help.” The woman walked over to get a leash, pausing to smile over at Matt. “You know, everyone else keeps walking past him, so he’s gonna be real happy to go home with you.”

“Do you mind if we bring our other dog in?” Matt asked. “Make sure they get along okay?”

“Sure thing. We’ll go into one of the dog visiting rooms.”

Matt pushed the door open and went to his Chevy, letting Blue out and clipping on his leash. Trust Lisa to find the one dog straight away that deserved a home more than the others, the one that had been overlooked by everyone else.

“Come meet your new friend,” Matt told Blue. He laughed. “And you’d better like him because your mom’s already in love.”

“He’s seriously gorgeous,” Lisa mused, sitting back with a glass of water in one hand as she watched the dogs play around the yard. They were sitting outside, the doors to the house all flung open, white drapes billowing out toward them in the soft breeze.

She met Matt’s gaze and he burst out laughing. “He’s not gorgeous, but he’s a cool dog.”

She knew that he wasn’t the most handsome or perfect-looking dog, but his face was so expressive, and there was a sadness in his eyes that told her he’d been through a lot. Just like her. She was scarred and flawed, too. She’d been through hell and survived, just like their new pooch. She’d managed to move on and be happy, which was exactly the life she wanted for this perfectly flawed dog.

“A few months ago, I thought I’d never smile again,” Lisa said. “I couldn’t imagine being happy like this.”

“Me neither,” Matt admitted. “We’re so lucky to still be together, to have been given this chance.”

She smiled. They’d had a shit run of luck, but she knew what he was saying. “Lucky, given the crap hand we’d been dealt,” she said, seeing the look pass over his face, the look that said he’d just figured how bad that sounded.

“Yeah, exactly.”

Lisa pulled Matt down on top of her, lying back on their outdoor sofa and drawing him close, eyes closed as she parted her lips, sighing as he kissed her. Matt traced his fingers up her body, tickled her stomach.

“Woof!”

“Aw hell!” Matt cursed, pushing up from her.

“What?” Lisa mumbled.

Benji had his hackles up, back all prickly as he stared at Matt. Blue was sitting to attention, big tail thumping as he watched what was going on.

“He thinks you were hurting me. How sweet,” Lisa said, standing up and calling out to the dog. “Benji! Come here, buddy.”

He obediently crossed over to her, sitting on her feet and glaring back over at Matt.

“He’s protecting you. Great,” Matt said. “Back to the shelter!”

Lisa bent and put her arms gently around the dog, cradling him. He needed love, and she had a whole lot to give. “It’s okay. You go back and play. I got this,” she told him, pointing over to Blue.

Matt threw a ball and Blue ran to chase it straight away. She pointed for Benji to follow and he did.

“I can’t believe we have two fur babies,” Lisa said, going back over to Matt and slinging an arm around his waist.

“Do you still think about our baby every day?” he asked, kissing the top of her head as she snuggled closer.

“Every day,” she admitted. “But that’s okay.”

“Me too,” Matt said. “I’d love to think we’ll have kids one day, that they’ll be rough and tumbling on the lawn with the dogs and running barefoot through the house, that everything we went through was some kind of bad dream. That I can build the tree house with my own hands and know that little people will be playing pirates in it. But only if you want that to happen.”

“We just have to change our dream,” Lisa said, her heart still close to breaking just thinking about what they’d lost. “We talked about that future for so long. That’s why it hurts so bad, but it was never real. It was just a picture we had of what our family was going to look like, of our biological children. Or what we thought we were supposed to have.”

“So what does our new future look like?” Matt asked, turning his body into hers. “Have you thought about that lately?”

She put both arms around him, looped her fingers into his jeans and leaned back. She was okay with him asking now, had pushed through and come out so much stronger.

“It’s still just you and me for now,” she said, staring up into the brightest blue eyes she’d ever seen, the dark ring around the ocean-blue making them even more mesmerizing. “Spending our days together, happy that we have each other. And one day if we decide we’re ready to adopt, or take up Kelly’s offer of surrogacy, then that’ll be okay too. I just want to see what happens, how we feel.”

“That sounds like a pretty damn good plan,” Matt said, voice gruff.

“Yeah, I reckon,” she said with a smile, standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He turned his face fast and she ended up in a lip-lock with him instead.

“And you’re okay with that?” he asked, tone more serious this time. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “I promise.”

A loud woof echoed out again and Lisa burst out laughing, cheeks hurting as she stared at Benji. He was glaring at Matt like he was about to attack.

“We have to do something about this damn dog!” Matt cursed, obviously deadly serious but managing to make her laugh. “Seriously!”

“He just needs a little time to adjust, that’s all. He’s been through a lot,” she said, straight-faced.

Just like her. Which was why she was prepared to give the poor canine all the time in the world.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But he’s not sleeping on the bed.”

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t get your hopes up there. Of course he’s sleeping on the bed!”

Matt glowered and she laughed so hard tears welled in her eyes. Happy tears that felt so damn good.

“Lisa Williams,” Matt said, turning and holding out his hands for both of hers. Lisa was about to say something, then clamped her mouth shut and placed her hands in his.

“Six years ago I married the love of my life,” Matt said, his smile sweet as he stared into her eyes, his blue irises so bright, so piercing and intense, just like they’d always been. He was a man’s man, the kind of big, burly, sexy-as-hell guy that loved downing beers and watching ball, wielding a hammer during the day and fixing anything that needed tending to. But he also had a softer side to him, a side that not many other people in their life ever got to see, a side that she’d seen a whole lot of lately. To everyone else he was an ex-football player who fixed up houses and had a cute wife on his arm.

“Me too,” she murmured, refusing to blink, not wanting to miss a moment of Matt looking at her like she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

“What’s next?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up.

Lisa gulped, swallowed the emotion and fear that threatened to engulf her. “I don’t even remember our vows!” she hissed.

“Baby, you’ll remember the important ones,” Matt said, the gruff edge to his voice telling her that this wasn’t easy for him either. “Come on, let’s do it together.”

Lisa cleared her throat, held on tighter to Matt. “I promise to love you, Matt. Always and forever.”

“To have and to hold from this day forward,” he said.

“For better or worse, richer or poorer,” she remembered.

“In sickness and in health.” His smile was sweet; his head dipped as he continued to meet her gaze. “Until death do us part.”

The sun made her squint as clouds parted above them. “Is this the bit where you kiss the bride?” she asked.

“Hell yes,” Matt whispered, hand leaving hers to press to the back of her head instead, pulling her forward, possessive and strong as his lips crushed hers. Just like their wedding day, when Matt had kissed the hell out of her in front of everyone gathered when she’d been expecting just a polite, chaste peck on the lips.