Always Been Mine (4 page)

Although, this wasn’t the first time she’d woken up feverish because of Alex, it was by far the worst. It ranked right up there with the morning after she’d caught him that awful night. And here she thought because it’d been so long she was going to breeze through this like nothing. She actually expected to leave the party feeling like a brand new woman, one who’d finally conquered her demons. She frowned, putting the cold Gatorade bottle to her forehead. “I think you and Romero are cute together.”

“No way, Valerie. Don’t even start.”

“Why not?”

Romero wasn’t a bad looking guy at all. Like Alex and his brothers, he’d always worked real hard to stay in great shape. He had to. During his years as a bouncer, he needed to be strong and fit.

He wasn’t nearly as big as Alex but his build
was
impressive. He’d just always been the clown. Back in high school she’d been attracted enough to flirt with him and even let him kiss her once.

“Because he’s annoying and I find his lack of decorum appalling.”

“Decorum?” Valerie sat back down on the sofa. “Isabel, you are too much. You always said you have trouble finding taller men than you. Did you notice he’s much taller than you?”

*

It was almost impossible to concentrate on the payroll with Valerie on his mind again. The whole damn week Alex thought of Valerie constantly and how different it felt to kiss her now. He was still trying to figure out what bothered him more, that she moved on or the fact that he’d been so blown away by seeing her again. He’d figured as much about her moving on. What didn’t make sense was why the hell it troubled him so much.

When he first met her, his freshman year of college, it was supposed to be just for fun. She was still a senior in high school and Angel had just started seeing Sarah. When she mentioned her cousin having a crush on him he was curious. After meeting her it had been just that, fun. Then his grades started plummeting and it almost cost him his scholarship.

In the very beginning, Valerie was all for a physical relationship, no strings attached. And though he didn’t like the idea of her with anyone else, he pretended to go along. He needed to find the time to get some school work done, and still try to get his fill of her on his down time. But he never seemed to be able to. The more he was with her the more he wanted her.

Though their relationship had never been classified as a bona fide exclusive one, the time he’d spent with her was the closest he’d ever come to being in one. For a while she seemed content with their off and on rendezvous, some of which began to last longer and longer. But then he’d have to leave for road games and cram for tests and it was off again. Sometimes he disappeared on her for days without answering her calls. He never told her why. He couldn’t, even though he knew she was thinking the worst.

Then after showing up and catching him with his tutor, it was over. The only time she’d bothered to answer her phone in the entire time since then was a few days after that night. That was only to warn him not to show up unannounced at her place in case
she
had company. She said she didn’t want things getting ugly. Things sure as hell would’ve gotten ugly, and he was furious. But after calming down he knew it was his own fault.

At first he thought it was just like one of the many other times she’d cut him off. But he soon found out she meant it. After the one maddening call she answered, she never once picked up any of his calls or returned any of his texts again. He thought if he gave it some time she’d come around. But after months of not hearing from her he figured she’d moved on. Strangely, all this time he thought he was okay with it.

With everything going on in his life, he had little time to dwell, on his love life. After breaking his ankle pretty bad during one of his college football games, several surgeries later the doctors confirmed the worst. His playing days were over and just like that his scholarship was gone. Alex had fallen into a major self pity, damn-it-all-to-hell, funk.

His parents insisted on paying the rest of the way until he was done. Alex knew how expensive that would be, and as hard a time as he’d been having keeping his grades up, he wasn’t going to waste their money. He dropped most of his classes, promising he’d finish up eventually. He was now down to one online class a semester, and had taken the restaurant on full-time.

With the restaurant doing so well, the family decided it was time to expand. His father had talked about it for years. Since his dad had been smart enough to purchase the property years ago rather than continue leasing, the place was theirs to do what they pleased. So, in the last year, on top of everything else that was going on in his life, Alex took on the major task of overseeing the renovations.

They weren’t just any renovations either. In the past couple of years it had become harder and harder to accommodate large parties without having to reserve a big part if not the entire restaurant. Alex suggested adding some kind of banquet room so they could reserve that for private events without having to shut down the restaurant. He meant a small room off to the side that maybe held forty to fifty people.

He should’ve known better. Like the wedding, his father thought big. A second floor was added with a lavish banquet room that could accommodate up to five hundred people but could also be broken down into smaller rooms for smaller parties. The restaurant was under construction for months.

With everything going on, he hadn’t put much effort into reconnecting with Valerie. Though he had to admit he’d never stopped thinking about her and every now and again still called in vain.

Ironically, as bitter as it was losing his scholarship and having to go to therapy to get his ankle back to at least feeling normal, it served as a distraction.

Then his parents started leaving for weeks at a time to visit his ailing grandfather in Mexico. They left him with the full responsibility of running the restaurant while they were gone. When his grandfather passed, his father took it very hard. He decided it was time to retire and spend more time with the family back in Mexico.

The reigns were passed on to Alex, who was the only one of his brothers not in school full time. He took his responsibility of keeping the family business running as well as it always had very seriously. His older brother Sal was working on his masters, and his younger brother Angel just graduated from college… before him. This was his way of making it up to his parents about school, and he’d be damned if he screw it up.

But now he couldn’t get Valerie out of his head. It didn’t make sense. He’d always known she drove him crazy but he always told himself it was more physical than anything. What he felt at the party was different. Very different. He couldn’t even hang around after she told him about her boyfriend.

Normally, his reaction to any thoughts of her with another man was instinctive carnal rage. This time it was different from the rage he’d felt before, something he never had in the past. Suddenly, he hadn’t been able to bear even looking at her, knowing she belonged to someone else. This time his rage had been accompanied by an unexplained ache. An ache that settled in his heart and hadn’t left since.

He hadn’t gotten much sleep and had been in a hell of mood all week. Today he’d worked a full day at the restaurant, staying as busy as he could. It wasn’t hard. It was non stop all day. Sundays were always that way.

They were closed now. As usual he was working late, avoiding going back to his empty home at all costs. He glanced at his cell phone that sat on the desk and picked it up. Knowing the shower was just around the corner, Alex hadn’t tried calling her in a while. He wondered if maybe after seeing him at the shower she’d pick up.

He stared at it thinking about what he’d say to her. All the other times he’d called her since their falling out he hadn’t given it much thought. Now he was a mess. He dialed and held his breath. As usual the call went to voicemail and Alex sat frozen at the sound of her voice. It was the damnedest thing. Her voicemail hadn’t changed since the last time he called, yet just hearing her voice now made his heart speed up. He hung up without leaving a voicemail acutely aware of the thud in his chest.
What the hell?

This was the second time this week Valerie was running late. It wasn’t like her, but her mind had been so muddled lately. Her phone rang. Thankfully she glanced at the caller I.D. before automatically answering. She froze when she read Bruce Nash. She knew he’d been out for weeks but really prayed she wouldn’t hear from him.

Bruce was a perfect example of what happens when you go out in hopes of forgetting someone. He was the reason Valerie stopped frequenting night clubs and going out, period.

After weeks of wallowing over Alex last year, she’d finally taken the plunge and went out again. She met Bruce at a night club that evening. They exchanged information, and with the encouragement of Isabel, she decided to take him up on his offer of going for coffee.

She mistook his overbearing personality for intensity, something she’d always loved about Alex. But after only a few weeks of seeing Bruce, it became clear that his overbearing personality might actually be detrimental. Alex may have been hard as nails on the outside, but she was one of the few people who knew how soft and wonderful he was on the inside. Never once had she felt threatened by him.

Bruce was different altogether. Something disturbed her about the way his anger seemed to control him. He became a different person and more than once had to apologize for his outbursts.

They’d only gone out for several weeks. Then after he showed up at her place enraged and under the influence of something that appeared to be more than just alcohol, she called it off. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine the nightmare that would ensue. When it was over she’d all but sworn off men.

Valerie waited to see if he’d leave a message. He didn’t. Her insides grew heavy. She could only pray that now that he was out, the nightmare wouldn’t start all over again.

She turned into the parking lot of the building she was going to show. The clients were already standing outside.

Valerie smiled at the two men in suits as she pulled her car in next to theirs. Doing her best to snap out of the sudden plunge in her mood, she smiled brightly at her clients. She got out and apologized for her late arrival. Within minutes she was back to her energetic self showing them the property.

When she returned to her office, Luke, her office manager, was waiting for her at the door. He had a big smile on his face and she had a feeling she knew why.

Valerie had closed a lot of deals since she’d gotten her license, but this was by far the largest. She’d been working on it for months. As soon as she put her things down on her already cluttered desk she did a little dance and hugged Luke.

“God, I’m so glad that’s over. That was such a pain.”

Luke smiled. “But totally worth it. And you know what? You’ll probably get a lot more clients in that range because of it.”

That’s exactly what she was banking on. She’d worked so hard on that one, going back and forth with the sellers and then the lenders. This was her ticket to making a name for herself in the commercial world of real estate. It felt so good when her hard work finally paid off.

“So, are you done for the day?”

Valerie smiled even bigger. “Actually, my clients wanna make a full price offer on the La Jolla building. I was going to write it up now.”

“Impressive, Val. I knew you’d be good the moment I met you.” Luke looked at his watch. “Do it in the morning, though. Let’s go get a drink to celebrate.”

Luke had been suggesting they go have a drink for months now. Valerie had a feeling by the way he looked at her sometimes that it wasn’t just a friendly offer. She’d always made one excuse after another not to go out with him. But it had been weeks since the shower and she’d been in a funk ever since. She finally had something to smile about. What the heck.

“Alright.”

Luke seemed surprised but smiled. “You can leave your car here if you want. We’ll come back and get it.”

Valerie shook her head. “No, that’s okay. We can take two cars. That way I can go straight home from there.” She wanted to be able to leave if the urge suddenly struck her, and she had a feeling it would.

Luke arrived at the restaurant before her and was waiting in the parking lot, leaning against his car. He was a good looking man. Tall, well built, and she’d always liked his hazel eyes. He’d obviously been well trained in management. His charisma and ease when speaking in front of the whole office, was another one of his attractive qualities. The only reason Valerie had never considered taking him up on any of his subtle offers was the same reason she’d put off going out with anyone else until Bruce.
Alex
.

Well, that was in the past. She wasn’t even sure what exactly Luke had in mind, if anything. But Bruce shouldn’t set the example of what it would be like to date after Alex. Not only had Bruce paled in comparison to Alex, she liked to think that dating a man like Bruce was a once in a lifetime mistake. One she’d never make again.