Always Devoted (13 page)

"That's my point exactly.  You don't know how she feels.  Does
she
know how
you
feel?"

Again Linc kept silent.

Jake's relaxed pose was gone as he lowered himself into the chair in front of Linc's desk with a steady stare.  "You're wasting precious time.  I recognize the signs.  I saw how you looked at Emma.  I saw how you responded to her and reacted to her.  I saw what you were willing to do to help her.  I saw that you cared for her more than you've cared for a woman since I've known you."

"You don't know that," Linc protested just for the sake of doing it, not wanting to admit he cared for Emma more than he'd ever cared for
any
woman.

"I've only known you a few years, that's true.  But I've seen your attitude toward women.  Do you think I haven't noticed the women you date?  I'm a private eye!  Emma is different and your feelings toward her seem to be different too.  I know what's it's like to fight against something you really want because you don't think you can get it."

Linc knew a little about Jake's marriage to Sara.  With a tragedy in his life as a cop, he had planned to never have children.  When he and Sara had gotten engaged, she'd agreed to his plan.  But then Sara found out she was pregnant and called off their wedding without telling Jake the truth.  She hadn't wanted to trap him.  Four years later, she told him he had a son.

"I married Sara, thinking I just wanted access to Christopher," Jake continued.  "I thought I'd buried everything I'd ever felt for her.  But feelings like that don't stay buried.  We wasted precious time when we could have been happy.  So don't do the same thing, Linc."

"I'm older than she is," Linc muttered.

Jake narrowed his eyes.  "Oh, that's a
really
good reason not to be happy."

Unsettling emotions bumping around inside of him, Linc stood and paced.  He'd felt like a caged tiger ever since he'd returned from San Diego...ever since he'd said good-bye to Emma, not knowing when or if he'd see her again.  He'd vowed he was going to give her time to figure everything out...to accept what had happened and then move forward.

Finally he put his real fear into words.  "I'm afraid I took advantage of her and she's never going to be able to forgive that.  I shouldn't have started anything let alone—"

He crossed to the window and gazed down at the parking lot, the traffic, the hustle and bustle of his life.  His life had meant something different when he was with Emma.  Not only with Emma but with her and Becky.  Yes, he wanted the opportunity to recapture that.  He wanted a chance to—

"How did you leave it with her?" Jake asked practically.

"I...we—"  Linc swore again.  "She thought she was a one-night stand or that I just wanted an affair."

"And you didn't deny it?"  Jake was looking at him as if he was the stupidest man on earth.

"I didn't know what I wanted."

"And now?"

"And now I'm afraid she'll never trust another man...let alone me."

"I can't believe you admitted you're afraid of something.  Not the great Linc Granger!"

At another time, Linc might have shot back a sarcastic remark.  But right now he knew his arrogance and pride were part of the problem.

"At least let her know you're thinking about her," Jake advised him.

Maybe that would be one step in the right direction.  He'd have to find the others on his own.

#

When the bell over Emma's shop door chimed, she spun toward it, hoping to see Linc.  She'd been swallowed by a hurt daze when she'd returned from San Diego.  It had taken her a little while to realize that some of that hurt was about Linc.  What they'd shared had been spectacular...at least for her.  Only afterward, he'd distanced himself.  And then she'd distanced herself from him for so many reasons, the main one being trying to sort out all that had happened.

So whenever the phone rang or the door chimed, she hoped it was him.  But it never was.  Had he just seen himself as her protector and benefactor?  Had she misconstrued the rest just as she'd misconstrued her marriage?

Linc didn't walk into her shop now, but Gillian Bradley did.  It was near closing time and Emma was glad no one else was in the shop.  She'd sent Olivia home early because it had been a slow day.

Gillian crossed to the table where Emma had been arranging new displays.  "How are you?"

"Better than I was the last time you saw me."

Gillian's face was full of compassion.  "From the vibes I was getting from your sister's jewelry and Tim Levine, I suspected what had happened between Paige and your husband.  But Jake and Linc had to confirm it for you.  I just wanted to let you know I received your note and your donation for the foundation.  How are you and Paige, if you don't mind my asking?"

"We're talking.  That's what's important.  I still love her so much.  And I can forgive what she did."

Gillian appeared to debate with herself for a few moments but then she said, "Paige and Barrett share the blame for what happened.  But Barrett was the one at fault.  He took advantage of an eighteen-year-old who didn't have enough experience to recognize what was happening."  Gillian studied Emma.  "But I don't think you need me to tell you that."

Emma shook her head.  "No, I don't.  I shouldn't have been asleep at the wheel.  I should have realized what was going on, especially when Paige didn't come home as often after that Thanksgiving holiday."

"Give yourself a break.  After the birth of a baby, a woman's life becomes focused around her child.  A supportive husband realizes he can fit into the equation, too.  Nathan and I are even closer since Matthew was born.  But Nathan is one in a million."

"I guess I wonder if Barrett had other affairs...if I was just convenient at times and he took advantage of that." She gave a wry, humorless laugh.  "Yet I guess I wasn't very convenient."

"Does it matter if he had other affairs?"

Now wasn't
that
an interesting question.  Did it matter if a man was unfaithful once or a multitude of times?  She wasn't sure.  "I suppose it doesn't matter."

Gillian stepped away from the new display Emma was arranging to another one.  Wooden boxes were filled with masculine gifts.  "Actually I came by to do more than catch up with you."

"Do you need a gift basket?"  Emma stepped over to the table with her.

"I'm thinking about it."  She fingered a mug with the Lakers' emblem and then a classic gold pen.  "I have this friend."  She stopped.  "Well, actually Nathan, Jake and I have this friend.  From what we understand, he hasn't been himself lately.  He and Nathan went to college together so Nathan knows him really well.  He's been growling at almost everyone in his path, and holing up in his house when he's not working."

"Linc?" Emma asked, hoping beyond hope.

"How did you guess?"  Gillian's smile was sly.  "We're all pretty sure he misses you."

"He hasn't called," she blurted out.

Gillian's voice took on a more serious note.  "I think he might be waiting for you to make the first move.  He knows you have a lot to process.  Not that I'd interfere in a friend's life," Gillian went on with an innocent look.

That made Emma smile.  "Maybe the gift basket should come from
me
."

#

Emma stood at Linc's front door fortified with the knowledge from Gillian that he was here alone.  Emma had never been this nervous.  Her knees were practically shaking.  She'd wanted to look...good.  So she'd bought a new dress, a little more sophisticated than what she usually wore.  It was a teal sheath with a short mandarin collar.  Keeping her jewelry simple but she hoped elegant, she'd worn dangling gold earrings with her upswept hair, a gold chain bracelet, and white strappy high heels.  In her arms she carried a basket with home-made baked goods.  What man didn't like baked goods?

If Gillian was wrong and Linc didn't want her in his life, she could simply give him the basket and run.  Though running would be tough in these shoes.

The doorbell chime rang through the house.  Seconds later, Linc answered the door in denim cut-offs, a black T-shirt and bare feet.  Sexy beard stubble lined his jaw and she wondered if he was going for a new look.

At his astonished expression to find her at his door, she became even more nervous.  "If this is a bad time or you're busy..."

"No, not busy.  I just came in after a walk on the beach.  I took a few days off this week.  I was just—"  He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes, then finished with, "I was just relaxing."

Linc relaxing.  That was a novel thought.  An awkward silence fell between them.

"I brought you a...a...thank-you gift."  She held out the basket to him.

"No thanks necessary."  He studied the basket as if her gratitude wasn't a good thing, but then stepped back.  "Would you like to come in?"

"Sure," she responded, relieved.

He took the basket from her and led her into his living room.  She hadn't been inside his home before.  It was beautiful with its teak floor and sea and earth colors everywhere.  There was a magnificent ocean view through the large picture window.  The house was unassuming but quality through and through.  A large ceiling fan spun between the exposed rafters of the cathedral ceiling.

He set the basket on the coffee table, then turned to her as if he had something on his mind.

Before he could start, though, she plunged in.  "I'm sorry, Linc."

His face remained expressionless.  "Sorry about what?"

"For shutting you out.  After you told me about Paige and Barrett, I closed down and I pushed you away.  If you don't want to see me again, I understand.  It's not as if we've known each other very long.  And I come with a lot of baggage, not to mention a little girl—"

He cut her off by reaching for her and enfolding her into his arms, those strong arms she loved so much.

"You don't have anything to apologize for.  I never should have taken advantage of you like I did."

"Taken advantage?"

"Yeah.  That night in my suite I should have stayed the hell away from you.  You were too vulnerable.  I knew that.  But I just pushed what you needed aside."

"That's not true," she protested with feeling.  "You
gave
me what I needed.  I needed you that night, Linc.  And I'm going to tell you something that might make you want to push me back out the door.  I'd realized that night that I'd fallen in love with you."

Stark silence.  Then he asked in a gravelly voice, "In love with me?"

She started to pull away, not exactly sure what he was feeling, believing her declaration was a total surprise and not something he wanted to hear.

But he caught her, pulled her closer against him and said, "Don't you go anywhere.  Neither of us is going to run from this.  Not any more.  Ever since we got back, I've been stewing about what I should have done and shouldn't have done.  Jake finally made me realize why.  I love you, Emma Henderson.  I know you've been through a lot.  And I'll give you all the time you need.  Becky needs to get to know me.  But I won't have this silence between us again.  In fact, it was going to stop tomorrow."

He gave her a crooked grin.  "I called Maris and made her an accomplice.  Tomorrow while you were at work, she was supposed to let the florist in.  Since your favorite color is pink—she told me it was—you were going to have pink roses from one end of your house to the other.  This afternoon I was just walking the beach, wondering if I was making a mistake, wondering if I should give you more time—"

She wrapped her arms around his neck.  Lacing her fingers in his hair, she nudged his head toward hers.  "Are you going to kiss me?"

"Always," he murmured, a moment before his lips covered hers.

It was a kiss with enough passion to last a lifetime.

Epilogue

The evening candlelight service in the small church Emma attended began with a harpist playing delicate, joyful music.  In her cream satin gown with a wreath of pink sweetheart roses woven into her hair, Emma took Becky's hand and started down the white runner.  Standing at the end of the aisle, tall, broad-shouldered and smiling, in a tuxedo that made him seem even larger than life, Linc waited for her.

The past six months had been a journey of discovery for them both.  In San Diego, she'd wondered about her ability to trust a man again.  But Linc made trusting easy...just as he had from the very beginning.  He was a man whose actions spoke louder than any words.  He was a protector and a defender, and she often had to stand up for what she wanted to do.  She had to stand her ground to keep her independence.  The terrific thing about that was he seemed to like that quality in her!

She was also learning to compromise and found the happiness that came from doing that with Linc was more important than independence.  Loving Linc meant letting him take the lead sometimes, letting him provide for her and Becky what she never could.  On his part, and with kind understanding, Linc was letting her work out her relationship with Paige.

They'd decided to get married this week before Christmas so they could celebrate Christmas together at Linc's house as a family.  Paige was going to stay throughout the holidays, and Emma was hoping they'd find again the bonds they'd once shared.