Always & Forever (19 page)

Lilly handed Zach his phone and grabbed a sheet of paper and pen out of the junk drawer.

Zach spoke to his mother briefly. When he hung up the phone, he busied himself in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes.

His consideration impressed Lilly. He was a guest and free to sit around while she took care of the cleaning. Zach’s willingness to help with domestic chores made Lilly admire him even more.

Perhaps she should have checked with him before she recommitted to dinner Saturday. Things seemed fine between them, but she should have asked.

“Do you still want a date for this weekend?” She sat at the snack bar and scribbled ingredients down on the paper. “I mean, after everything that happened last night?”

Zach threw her a dark look over his shoulder and scrubbed the hamburger pan. “How could you ask me that? I thought we were okay.”

“We are. Just double checking.”

Lilly wished she hadn’t brought up the night before. She peeked at him in between each ingredient going on the page. His face held a stony expression, obviously not happy to revisit the subject. Why would he be? Even though he accepted her past, that didn’t mean he wanted to think about it ever again. She didn’t want him thinking about it either.

Zach finished cleaning the kitchen as she wrote down the last ingredient. He sat on the stool next to her. “Are you ever going to forgive me?” he asked. “I thought we were past last night.”

“Forgive you? Zach, I’m not upset with you. Far from it.” Lilly touched his face with gentle fingers. She stroked her thumb across his lips and down his chin. The feel of his stubble against her fingertips excited her. She wanted to press her cheek against his and lose herself in him. She wanted to forget he looked for something temporary with her. “If anything, I’m surprised you’re willing to forgive me. I’m the one who lied. I’m the one who has a past. Do you really forgive
me
?”

“Shhh.” Zach rested his finger across her lips. “There’s nothing to forgive. I could never be mad at you for what that bastard did wrong.”

He moved his finger, replacing it with his mouth, and the skin tingled throughout her body. She could sense his excitement, sense that he wanted more than kisses. Lilly knew she should pull away if she wasn’t willing to move things to the next stage with him.

She broke off the kiss. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

Zach took her hand in his, stroking his thumb across it. “I trust you, Lilly. Everything can work between us. Can you trust me?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

He leaned into her, pressing his cheek against hers. “It’s okay. I’ll wait for you until you do.”

She melted at his words. Perhaps he wanted more of a relationship than she thought. She wrapped her arms around his neck and covered his mouth with hers. She parted her lips and his tongue invaded her mouth. The kiss seemed to go on forever, and Lilly never wanted it to stop. A deep moan rumbled from his chest, and Zach pulled away.

He stared intently into her eyes, and Lilly imagined he looked at her soul. He cupped her face in his palms and leaned his forehead against hers. “I better leave before I can’t stop myself.” His voice was deep and husky again.

Heat pooled between Lilly’s legs, and she licked her lips. Zach’s desire overpowered her senses, stronger than anything she ever experienced with Charles. He wanted her. It wasn’t love, but it was closer than she’d ever been.

“Please, don’t leave.” She tangled her fingers through his hair.

Zach stood from the stool and pressed himself into the space between her slightly parted legs. His hot lips brushed the sensitive skin below her ear. “Is this really what you want, baby?”

After her painful experience with Charles, intimacy terrified Lilly. Yet, with Zach, everything felt right. Rather than fear him, she wrapped her legs around his hips and rested her head against his chest. His racing heart pounded in rhythm with hers. “I’ve never wanted anything more. And I know you’d never hurt me.”

Perhaps that wasn’t the same thing as trusting him, but it seemed to be enough for Zach. His strong hands slipped underneath her bottom. He lifted her from the stool and secured her firmly against him, as Lilly tightened the grip with her thighs. His jeans hit the sensitive flower of sensation between her legs. Lilly gasped in inarticulate pleasure as the hard edge of his pants found her through the light fabric of her slacks.

“Oh, God, please don’t make that sound or I'm gonna lose it right here.” His breath came out in ragged gasps. “Is the bed down the hall?”

Lilly nodded, not coherent enough to speak in her excitement. She brought her hands to his chest and unbuttoned his shirt, frantic to feel his muscled body. She slipped her hand into the opening and splayed her fingers across his pecs. Through the covering of soft hair, she found his nipple with her fingers and tweaked it gently, testing what would please him.

Zach sucked in a breath, turned her against the hall wall, and supported her with one arm. His other hand fumbled to un-tuck her shirt and buttons snapped off in the process. The blouse fell open to reveal her lacy bra. “You’re so beautiful.” He stroked her with gentle fingers. He took her breast in his mouth, moistening the fabric, and his teeth grazed her hardened nipple.

“Zach...please...the bed.” Fire consumed Lilly. She rocked her hips and a desperate heat built within her. She wanted him to touch her in the intimate place his pants rubbed. Clenching her legs tighter around his hips, she stretched toward his neck.

“This hall is looking pretty damn good to me,” he got out around a groan as she nipped his collarbone.

She flicked the tip of her tongue against his earlobe. “Don’t you want our first time to be special?”

That goaded him into action. Zach firmed his grip on Lilly, holding her securely against him as he lurched down the hall. They almost reached her bedroom door when Lilly’s phone vibrated in her pocket.

Zach jumped as it buzzed under his arm. “What the hell?”

“It’s my phone.”

Zach took another step. “Ignore it.”

He entered the room and tossed her lightly on the bed, smiling down at her. “I’ve dreamt of this moment.” He lay next to her, his hand stroking the muscles of her belly.

“I have, too,” she admitted, slipping her arms around his waist.

In her pocket, Lilly’s phone buzzed again.

“Maybe we should turn that damn thing off,” Zach rumbled against her throat.

Lilly giggled. “I wouldn’t think you’d be so easily distracted.”

His teeth grazed her ear. “I don’t want any interruptions in what will be the best night of our lives.”

Lilly kissed his shoulder. “You win. I’ll turn it off.”

She pulled the phone from her pocket, glancing at the screen. She glimpsed a New York area code before it flashed missed call. New York? Who would be calling from there?

“Come on, turn it off.” Zach grabbed the phone out of her hand. “No distractions, remember?”

The phone buzzed again before Zach hit the power button.

A sick feeling gripped Lilly’s stomach. Something must be wrong. Under normal circumstances, the person would have left a message, not continued to call back. She snatched the phone from Zach’s fingers. “I have to answer it. What if something’s wrong with my father?”

“Why should we care,” Zach asked, but nodded his head. “Go ahead.”

“I’ll be really fast,” she promised, pressing the send button. “Hello?”

Scratchy noises came across the line. “Is this the bitch of a whore who had her fiancé killed?”

A trickle of fear laced her spine. She should have let Zach turn the phone off. “Who is this?”

“I can’t believe you’re already shacked up with another guy when you don’t know what happened to Charles.

“What do you know about that? Charles is dead.” Lilly trembled at the memory of expensive cologne and strong onions the voice provoked.

Zach sat up next to her, a frown on his face. “Who is it?”

Lilly ignored him, concentrating on the words coming through the earpiece. The phone shook in her hand as she struggled to hear the low voice. It sounded so much like the man who attacked her two years ago.

“Is Charles really dead, whore, or do you hope he is? You don’t think Zach really cares about you, do you?” the voice asked. “He’s using you like any other man would. You’re a ruined woman, and you’re only good for one thing. Don’t make the mistake of thinking Zach will ever love you.” The caller laughed, and the menace in it chilled Lilly’s blood. “You’re supposed to be mine, Katherine.” The line went dead.

Lilly shoved the phone back into her pocket and stood up, too stunned to speak.

“Who was that on the phone? You’re shaking.” Zach stood next to her and rubbed his hands along her arms. “Are you okay?”

Lilly shook her head. Was she okay? She didn’t know.

He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her against his chest. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She allowed herself to lean against him for a few seconds, to take comfort in his strength, before pulling away. “You have to leave.”

She turned away from the hurt in his eyes, ignored his stunned expression. The caller was right. She was a ruined woman. Zach seemed to understand about her past, and she wanted to believe he really did. But how could anyone ever love her?

Love was what she wanted, what she craved more than anything. Zach was a guy looking for some simple, no-commitment sex. It wasn’t fair to expect more from him. He hadn’t signed up to take care of her problems.

Lilly led the way to the kitchen. She grabbed the list of ingredients off the counter and handed it to Zach. “Please take this to your mother.”

“Damn it, Lilly. Why won’t you talk to me?” He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

The hurt in his eyes was unbearable. She nearly changed her mind. It would be nice to talk to him about the call. He could hold her and sooth away the fear the voice had provoked.

But no. She couldn’t let herself lean on him. She couldn’t pretend he was her boyfriend, or allow herself to believe he would be there for her. She knew what depending on other people led to—it never ended happily for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. She knew she forced him to leave in an awkward state. She hadn’t meant to lead him on, but she couldn’t complete what she started. “It’s for the best.”

He let go of her face and shook his head. “Just tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”

If only she dared let him stay. “Look, I said I was sorry.” She put her hand on her hip, strengthening her resolve to be firm. “I changed my mind.”

She knew the words deepened the pain her rejection caused him, and she tried not to cry. It would be better this way. She had to believe that. Surely, Zach wouldn’t hurt for long. His mother had picked women better suited for a man in his situation. He could go to one of them, even though that thought crushed Lilly.

She walked across the living room and opened the door. She tried to hold the breaking bits of her heart together, even as she held her torn shirt with her free hand.

Zach walked past her and stepped out the door. He turned back and kissed her, a hard kiss, devoid of any trace of passion. “Call me if you decide you need me...or you want me.”

He stormed to his car. Lilly almost called out to him, almost asked him to come back. It would be so easy to love him, even if he didn’t return the feeling. It would be easy to have him with her, helping her figure out what the call meant. What would be hard was losing him later, when he realized she really was a ruined woman and her past would always cause problems in his life.

Lilly closed the door and slid the deadbolt into place. She wandered through the house to check the locks and pull the blinds closed on the windows.

With Zach gone, the terror of the phone call returned. She’d tamped it down while dealing with Zach, but now she had nothing to distract her. Her hands shook and tears leaked from her eyes. Lilly tried to make sense of it, tried to rationalize away her fear. But she had so many questions.

As far as she knew, Charles didn't have any family, so who would call now, after all this time? If it was the man who killed Charles, did he hope to get money? And where was the caller? He talked as though he could see into her house. Definitely not someone in New York, but someone close by, perhaps using a cell phone from New York.

Lilly thought about the footprints in the flowerbed, remembered the black car watching her. Perhaps he stood out there now, looking in on her, waiting to hurt her.

She raced to the front window and peeked out. No one stood there now. She returned to the couch and sat down, hugging herself. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t call the police—they’d accuse her of lying, just as Detective Spalding had.

A scratching sound drew Lilly’s attention to the sliding door. A dark shadow of a male figure stood on her patio. The door rattled as he tried to open it.

Zach slammed the car into park and stormed up the walkway of his parents’ house. He took a deep breath to calm himself and walked into the front room. His mother sat on the couch, and he handed the grocery list to her.

She accepted the list and narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong, Zach?”