Always His (Crazed Devotion #1) (16 page)

“I got some groveling to do,” I said as I grabbed for the handle of the truck door. “Thanks for the talk, man.”

Randall nodded as I climbed out of his truck, then he drove away with my truck in tow.

Elle was refilling the napkin containers on the tables near the door when I entered the empty bar. She looked back over her shoulder at the sound of the door closing behind me and arched an eyebrow.

“Nicole in the back?” I asked as I put my hands in my pockets and rocked back on the heels of my boots.

“Not sure I should let you talk to her. I’m not so sure you deserve to,” Elle said as she turned to face me and crossed her arms over her chest.

Elle was younger than Liz and Nicole, which also made her younger than me as too. She was always the little kid that wanted to tag along with us when we went down to the lake or just hung out at one another’s houses. She was always so in-your-face, the kind of girl that never gave up. She hadn’t changed—well, she’d gotten a little scarier, maybe.

“I know I screwed up, but I need to see her.” There was no way I would allow her or anyone else to keep me from making this right with Nicole.

“I’d say you did more than just simply screw up,” she said as she took a step toward me. “She gave you another chance. She trusted that you wouldn’t hurt her again. And then you made her and Tori fall for you only to let the past come back to tear you apart again.”

“I know,” I assured her. Fuck, I had gone through this a million times since my phone conversation with Nicole earlier today.

“If you can’t accept Tori, then you need to just back off.”

Her comment surprised me. “What the hell are you talking about?” My stomach was now in knots. “Is that what she thinks? That I can’t accept Tori?”

It was as if something inside me snapped, and the hesitation I’d had entering the bar shifted to determination. I pushed past Elle, a mixture of panic and frustration swarming in my gut as I rounded the counter. When I entered the back room, I found Nicole leaning over a crate of liquor as she organized the bottles from it on the bottom shelf.

“You actually think I can’t accept Tori?” She jumped in surprise and spun around to face me, her hand pressed against her chest. “Because if you think for one second that she hasn’t buried herself so deep in my heart that I sometimes forget she isn’t mine, then you don’t truly know me.”

“I don’t—”

I held up my hand. “I came back here for you. I let go of a dream because the love I’ve felt for you every day I’ve been gone trumped that dream.” I pointed to her. “You are all I want. You and that little girl that stole my heart. Damn it, Nicole, I’m sorry I screwed up all those years ago. It’s something I will always regret. But never, not even for a second, have I not accepted Tori as a part of our future. I love that little girl.”

Tears welled in her eyes as her lower lip trembled. “Then what is it? What’s going on with you?” Her voice was barely a whisper, and it pained me to know I’d put those worries in her mind. “You wouldn’t talk to me last night, and then with everything . . .” She took a shuddering breath.

“I hate that he touched you,” I confessed as I stepped up to her. I placed my hand on her hip and pulled her close. “And the worst part about it is that I led you to him.”

“No,” she said as she looked up at me.

“Yeah,” I replied quickly. “If I hadn’t let you go, then it never would have happened. I thought I was past it. I thought I’d gone through all the levels of emotion when it came to you and him.” I slid my hand around her waist and held her against me securely. “I was hurt, heartbroken even. I was angry to the point that I thought about calling you on multiple occasions to ask you how the hell you could do that.” The tears in her eyes spilled over, and my chest constricted with an unbelievable ache. “But in the end I knew I had no grounds to feel any of those things. Because if I hadn’t let you go, you never would have turned to him.”

I leaned in just enough to place my lips to hers in a gentle kiss before resting my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry I ever let you go.”

Her body shuddered against mine, and I knew in that moment she had broken and all the emotions she’d been trying to control had overtaken her.

“But I promise you,” I whispered as I pulled her in tighter, hugging her body against my chest, “I’ll never make that mistake again. And Tori is a part of that promise. Just because she’s not my blood doesn’t mean I can’t love her like my own daughter. In my eyes, baby, she became mine too the moment you agreed to give me another shot. I love you both so much, and I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise.”

R
yker hovered over me, his hands on either side of me, bracing himself against the mattress. His eyes locked on mine as he lowered his body against me while he continued to slowly move inside me. He cupped the side of my face as his mouth covered mine in a devouring kiss.

“Amazing,” he whispered as he swiveled his hips, and I whimpered.

We wasted no time when we got home from the bar. In fact we hadn’t even made it completely inside my apartment before Ryker pressed his body to mine and whispered against my ear how much he wanted me. Within moments our clothes were shredded and we left a path of them as we moved toward the bedroom. And for hours we gave to each other all we could. We left no part of one another uncherished. In what felt like seconds, he made all my doubt and worry fade and replaced them with happiness, love, and lust. It was a bit overwhelming, but I welcomed that rush.

It had been so long since I’d felt peace. So long since I was able to just treasure the feeling of security. Ryker was my solitude; he had always been. And being back in his arms after he bared his heart, doubts and all, gave me back all I’d been missing over the years.

“I love you so much,” he said in a strained voice. I could tell he was holding on, trying to make the moment last as long as he could. “You’re my dream, baby.” He looked me in the eyes. “You always have been.”

Pressure was building low in my stomach as he continued to rotate his hips, creating the friction I needed to reach my release.

“Let go,” he coaxed. “Come for me.”

My legs tensed as the heels of my feet dug into his ass. Rocking my hips to meet Ryker’s thrusts, I tightened around him, and the orgasm took over as I called out his name. Almost instantly I felt him tremble as he drove into me one last time as he came apart, the weight of his body pressing against mine.

We lay there in silence, trying to catch our breath. Chills covered my arms and legs as the ceiling fan swept air over the thin layer of sweat on my skin. It was after two in the morning, and my exhaustion from today had finally begun to hit me. My body relaxed as Ryker rolled to the side and took me with him. We both lay on our sides, looking at one another, barely able to remain focused.

“What are your plans today?” he asked.

My vision blurred as I tried to stay awake. “I need to pick up Tori from Dad’s. Other than that I’m free. Why?”

“Before we both pass out, I need to ask, can I use your car?” He smiled when I wrinkled my nose in confusion. Then I realized I hadn’t seen his truck in the parking lot last night when we left Lucy’s. It didn’t occur to me to ask how he’d gotten to Arab from Huntsville.

“I got a flat on the way to town last night. Randall has my truck, but he won’t be there until eight. I need to leave here to make it to work long before that,” he explained.

“The keys are on the counter. I can just call my dad and have him drop off Victoria.” I closed my eyes and began to fade, but when his lips touched mine, I opened them once more.

“Will he take you to pick up my truck?” I nodded. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” I whispered. It was becoming harder and harder to stay awake. I was trying, but the emotional roller coaster of the last thirty-six hours was really hitting me.

“I love you,” he whispered, and I couldn’t help but smile. I’d missed hearing him say those words to me. “This feels right, being here with you. I want this every day.”

I wanted so badly to be able to carry on this conversation. To pick it apart and be able to know exactly what he meant by “this.” Was it the sleeping together naked, the hungry sex, or was it the idea of sharing so much more?

But I couldn’t hold out. I couldn’t fight the need for sleep any longer.

“You showing up to get Ryker’s truck leads me to believe the guy pulled his head out of his ass like I suggested.” Randall Crowell was an Arab native like myself. He too loved this town enough to never wanna leave, so he took over his father’s towing and automotive repair shop straight out of high school. He was good guy, a little rough, but a kind soul.

“We had a good talk, and I get now where he’s coming from,” I said. “We’re gonna be all right.”

“Yeah, you will,” he replied. “I never doubted it.”

“Really?” His confidence was interesting. “Why?”

“Because,” he said as he handed me the keys to Ryker’s truck, “nobody else around here ever had a chance with you. Ryker won you over years ago, and I think we all knew it was just a matter of time until he came back to mend the girl he’d broken.”

Did this whole town think of me as a pathetic girl who lost her way or something?

“You put on a brave face, darlin’, but Ryker’s always been the guy who held your heart. You’re his forever. No way fate would be cruel enough to keep you two apart. Hell, it’s you two that give me hope that one day I may find my future too.” Randall winked as he stepped around the counter and led me to the shop.