Always His (Crazed Devotion #1) (2 page)

“You didn’t think I was that bad the night you crawled in bed with me.” This was Tyler’s game. He was always throwing our one night of nothing special in my face.

“That’s not the way I remember it at all. I remember being upset and you continued mixing drinks for me. It’s sure is funny that after about the third one, I remember nothing until I woke up the next morning and looked over to find you. Hell, I even contemplated gnawing off my own leg for fear of waking you if I moved it from beneath your legs.” His smirk had finally fallen from his face. “All I wanted to do was wash that mistake from my memory. Forget I ever believed you actually wanted to be a friend. The only good that ever came of that night was Victoria, and I wish more than anything your sorry ass wasn’t her father. Because that little angel deserves more than what you could ever give her.”

Tyler pushed up from the barstool, and it fell to the ground behind him. The few people that were still lingering around the bar turned to watch as he leaned in, placing his hands on top of the bar. “What do you expect me to be, more like your sweet Ryker?” When Tyler said the name, his nostrils flared with irritation. “Just face it, Nicole, no one will ever be able to be who you want. Everyone that tries will just be competing with him. But you need to remember this.” His cockiness returned, and my heart was racing. The mention of Ryker always got a reaction out of me. “He left you, without looking back. Not so much the perfect man, if you ask me.”

Without thinking I lunged at Tyler and swung my fist, and it connected with his lower lip. A set of strong arms wrapped around me from behind, and I knew it was Greg, the bartender.

“Get out of here, Tyler, before I turn her loose,” he said.

Tyler licked the small amount of blood on his lip before backing away with a smirk. “See you later, Sweet Pea. Give Tori a kiss good night from her daddy.”

I tugged at Greg’s hands, trying to get away, but he only held me tighter. “Slow down, darlin’, that man ain’t worth the time or the energy.”

He was right, I knew that, but it still didn’t tame the need to beat his ass. Tyler Murphy was and would always be a worthless drunk. He played games, and I refused to allow him to play me.

It was after three in the morning when I tiptoed through the front door of my two-bedroom apartment. The place was nothing special, but it was home. I was providing for Tori and me the best I could, and that to me made our tiny place feel even homier.

I smiled as I stepped on a stuffed animal in the center of the floor and it made a giggling sound. I immediately recognized it. Tori played with that soft, pink, little hippo often. It laughed when you pushed on its stomach.

I leaned over and twisted the lamp, and the small amount of light it provided highlighted the living room and kitchen. The entire front of my apartment was really just one room with a small countertop that separated the two. The living room was covered with toys, and tucked safely in the corner was a pink kitchen playset Tori adored. To some my apartment may seem like a wreck, but seeing the items that provided my daughter with happiness only made me happy too.

“Long night?” Liz, my best friend, asked through a big yawn as she walked out of the bedroom, wearing her pajamas and a fuzzy pair of slippers. She had been staying over on the nights I needed a sitter.

“Tyler showed up at the bar” was all I had to say for her to understand.

After Ryker left, Liz was the only friend who had stuck by me. Well, her and her younger sister, Elle. The rest had gone off to college or had gotten married and had their own lives. I fell into a depression no one seemed to want to deal with. Without Liz, I’m not sure I would have made it through that dark time, or the pregnancy. On most days, she’d had to force me to eat, which she gladly did.

“Did you get a chance to hit the prick?” she asked with a hopeful smile. She and I had spent many nights planning my revenge on Tyler for his shitty behavior. Sometimes she scared me with details of the way she wanted to torture him.

“Got one good swing before Greg pulled me off. But it was still satisfying.” I flopped down on the couch and propped my feet on the coffee table. When I looked up at Liz, she was smiling from ear to ear, and I knew she was waiting for more of an explanation. “He brought up Ryker,” I said as I looked down at my hands in my lap. If there was anyone that knew how that would affect me, it would be her.

“He’s such an ass.” Liz walked around the coffee table and sat beside me. “I wish I’d been there to make sure that man never had the chance to reproduce again.” She wrapped her arm around me and hugged me close.

We sat in silence, and my mind wandered to the times Ryker and I spent together. The times he would tell me I was the girl he planned to marry. He always made me feel so safe.

But those dreams and plans disappeared when he left. The calls and letters stopped, and now all I had left were the memories of our times together. And every dream and memory only led to sadness as I thought about how he never returned. And that only broke my heart all over again.

“W
e’re gonna miss your ugly face around here.”

I chuckled as I continued to pack my bags. I’d been with the same men since I was stationed in Germany five years ago. We had seen some shit and even lost a few. After two tours and getting shot in the leg while deployed in Iraq, my time as a Marine was complete. I chose not to reenlist. I served my country, and now I was ready to return home. I knew that wouldn’t be without complications because I’d fucked up in more ways than one, but I wouldn’t walk away without a fight.

“Yeah, well, you’ll always have that picture of me you’ve got hidden under your pillow to remember me by.” I would miss the guys too. Especially Ben and Luke, or Buzz and Thor, as most around here knew them. They had quickly become two of the best friends a guy could ask for. They were my brothers.

“You do know you got a shitstorm waiting for you when you get back to Alabama, right?” Thor said with a chuckle.

The guys had listened to me go on and on about the mistakes I’d made over the years. They’d watched me pick up the phone a million times only to change my mind. They’d also watched me punish myself daily for walking away so easily. Well, it appeared easy; it was actually the hardest thing I ever had to do. But expecting Nicole to wait for me was unfair. I knew she would never leave her father, and I respected that. It was one of the biggest reasons I had to let her go.

“Yeah. I know.” And I did. Nicole had moved on, or so I’d heard. My parents now lived in Birmingham and kept in touch with a few people back home, so they gave me the news. Hearing Tyler Murphy and Nicole had a child together had fucked with my head for a long time. But from what I also had heard, that relationship wasn’t solid, so maybe I still had a chance for redemption.

“But she’s worth the battle,” I added as I pulled the picture of Nicole from the pin board above my bed. It had seen the world with me, and now I was going back to her. “I’ve felt like a part of me was missing every day since I left her.”

“Pussy,” Buzz cough-spoke into his hand, and Thor chuckled.

I ignored his comment because I truly didn’t give a fuck. If going home to beg her for forgiveness made me a pussy, then I would be happy to have that title.

My flight was long and got delayed, so I was exhausted by the time I stepped off the plane at Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport. I spent the entire trip listening to couples fighting and children crying. It felt good to be back on solid ground.

I threw one duffle over my shoulder and held the other in my hand as I sent a text to my father to let him know I had landed. When his response came through, I couldn’t help but smile.

Dad: We’ve been here for two and a half hours. Your mother refused to wait for you to text.

I was not ashamed of being a momma’s boy.

As I rounded the corner, my parents came into view, and I felt like a fucking kid again. No longer was I a twenty-five-year-old Marine, but a twelve-year-old who hadn’t realized just how much he missed his parents.

Being tackle-hugged by a tiny woman weighing no more than a hundred and fifteen pounds almost knocked my six-two frame to the ground.

“My boy is home,” she cried against my chest as I held her tightly.

“Yeah, Momma, I’m home,” I assured her as I continued to hold her close.

“It’s good to have you here, son,” my father said, squeezing my shoulder as he watched the exchange between my mother and I.

It had been almost two years since I’d seen them. Living in Germany didn’t exactly make weekly visits possible. But they came to see me after I explained I couldn’t come home. At first they couldn’t understand why I chose to stay away, but eventually they found it easy to accept.

Nicole deserved a chance at a future, and I knew I’d only be holding her back if I didn’t let her go. I was young, and at the time I had no idea where my future was heading. And it took me getting out in the world and experiencing it to know I had everything I needed back home in Alabama. Now I just hoped that with time I could find my way back into Nicole’s heart.