Always Tried and Proven (21 page)

     Sam shook his head.  “Probably not.  I want the musicians to have all the time they need, to prepare for worship.  There are probably little things here and there you could do, but please don’t get too bogged down with chores.”

      Callie smiled, but she was feeling a little bit stung by Sam’s distance.  It was nothing she could put her finger on, but he seemed to have withdrawn from her.

     He smiled and held a hand to her, and helped her to her feet.  She reached up and put her arms around his neck.  Sam looked down at her with trepidation in his eyes.

     “What’s the matter, Sam?”  she asked bluntly.  “Don’t you love me anymore?”

      He looked totally shocked.  “Callie; why would you say that?”

      “Because you act as though you wish I’d go far away.”

     “No, Callie.
No
.”  he denied strongly.  “Honey, no.  Just give it a little time, all right?  This is… kind of a shock to me.”  He laughed uneasily.  “I mean, yesterday at this time, I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.  I’m
very
glad to see you, honey.  And I’m adjusting very quickly, love, but … I just haven’t caught up with it all yet.  Give me some time to let all this sink in.”

     “You don’t trust me.” She challenged sweetly.  She was looking hurt.

     “Callie, no.  Please don’t see it that way.”  He urged her kindly.  “Just give me a little time, all right?  Everything is going to be fine.  My biggest concern has just been taken care of.”

     Callie looked into his honest eyes, and nodded, pressing her lips together.  “All right.”  She agreed.  She couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t disappointed.

      “I'm afraid that I do have an appointment soon.  Why don’t we go back, and you and Sadie can get busy with plans to get you here, and on board with us.”

       “Sure.” She agreed evenly.

      Sam put an arm around her shoulders as they walked back, but Callie was convinced that she’d ripped it with Sam.  He cared about her soul; he was very happy to see her saved; he wanted her to come with the tent; but she didn’t think he wanted
her
anymore.  Refusing to marry him had torn a big hole in their relationship.  Letting him go to Vermont without contacting him had shaken his confidence in her.

     Hadn’t he been in New York for most of the month, while she ignored his presence?  She sighed.  If only she hadn’t been so stubborn, she could have accepted Jesus that much earlier, and she’d be married to Sam.  She was convinced of it.  Now?  She sighed.  Only time would tell if she could get him back to where they'd left off in New York.

     Callie was pretty close to the mark.  Sam
was
feeling a little bit gun shy.  He felt it necessary to see if Callie’s conversion was going to stick, before he let his heart get into deep waters again with her.  He didn’t trust himself around her; he was very vulnerable, and he’d just finished re-dedicating his life and ministry to the Lord, in the wake of his last encounter with the lady.

     He knew that she was sincere; but he didn’t know if she would truly change, yet.  Not everyone who answered an altar call truly understood what they were saying yes, to.  Discipleship was definitely a different decision than most new converts realized. 

     Part of him was afraid that she’d panic and run out on him.  After all, she was a brand new Christian, and Sam walked in some pretty heavy-duty stuff.  How could he know she’d be able to handle sharing his life, unless he gave it a little time?  He'd been so blind, before, that it scared him. He didn't blame her at all for it; but there it was, just the same.

     When they got to the trailer, Sam squeezed her shoulders, and smiled.  “I’ll see you later, all right?”

     “Sure, Sam.”  She agreed.  She gave him a brief smile, and went into the trailer.  Sam watched the door close, and felt deep misgivings about the way things had gone.  But there was nothing he could do.  He sighed heavily, and walked away.

      Sadie was awake and showered when Callie went into the trailer.  “Hey.”  She greeted Callie exuberantly.  “This place has all the comforts of home.  What do you say you and I take this thing over, and kick Sam out?”  she teased.

      “Yeah.”  Callie agreed lifelessly.

      “What’s up?”  Sadie demanded.

      “Well, I’m coming with the tent.”  She offered lamely.

     “That bad, huh?  I think that’s wonderful!  Callie, I’m so happy!  Why aren’t you?”  Sadie laughed.

     Callie sighed.  “Oh, it’s just Sam.  I thought he’d greet me with open arms, and he seems to wish I’d go away.  One minute he acts as if I’m everything he’s ever wanted, and the next he doesn’t want anything to do with me!  He says he needs a little time.  I showed up so suddenly that he’s still … shocked and amazed, or something like that.”

     “Callie,”  Sadie snorted.  “I’m not denying Sam said some of those things, but he doesn’t mean them.  I can well imagine that you knocked him off his feet when you walked up the center aisle last night.  He’s probably thinking he should let you get Christianity under your belt, before he moves on to the next step.  He sure got hit with a baseball bat the last time, because he got things out of order.  Now, tell me as much as you can remember of the exact words he said.”

     Callie really didn’t feel comfortable doing that, yet she desperately needed to get her head straight about Sam and what was happening.  So, she spilled.

     Sadie absorbed the information thoughtfully, and sighed.  “Well; sounds to me like he’s a little scared.  He wants you to get here and get going in the tent, and then he’ll tackle the relationship.  Kinda makes sense if you think about it that way, Cal.”

     “Uh, huh.”  Callie sneered.  “But that was not his attitude a month ago in New York.”

      “Callie,” Sadie reminded her gently, “since then, you refused to marry him, and cut off all communications.  Sam went through living hell.  In fact, he’s never
stopped
going through living hell because of it.  If he’s telling you he needs a little time to adjust, but he’s glad you’re here, you’ve got to believe him and just hang on.  If it was over, Sam would just tell you.  He’d never string you along, believe me.  He’s heartless with women he’s not romantically interested in when they come on to him.  If he was done with you, you’d
know
it.”

     Callie nodded slowly.  “Well; I’m going to give up my apartment and store all my stuff at Mom’s.  I’ll come with the tent, and I’ll give him his time.  I guess there’s nothing else I can do.  Do you think I should bring my truck, or should I put it in Mom’s barn?”

     Sadie considered, rolling her eyes.  “Put it in the barn.  I don’t think we need it.  Thanks for the offer, though.  Come on outside, and let’s sit in the sun and talk about all these details.  I need to look at my charts, to be sure what we’ve got going.”

     They pulled two lawn chairs together, and Sadie pulled a clipboard and some folders out of her briefcase. 

     “Let’s see.  I sleep in the motor home with Clyde and Jeannie.  They do have one empty bunk over the top, but it’s extremely small and cramped.  It’s pretty darned claustrophobic.  Then there’s Jeremy and Suzie’s trailer.  They’ve got Dwayne and Virgil in their spare bunks.  And I think that Dalton and Sean are going to buy a trailer together, to bunk in.  So that leaves Sam’s trailer and the Clines’ trailer and the Ericksons’ motor home and the Swansons’ motor home.  Rats. They are all full, except for Sam’s.”

     “Why don’t you and she take my trailer, and I’ll bunk with Clyde and Jeannie?” Sam suggested from behind their shoulders.  “And as another option, Sadie, I’ve always got my van.”

     “Sam, I don’t like it.  How can you get alone with the Lord?  You need your time, your space, your rest – and a little comfort.”  Sadie argued.

     ,“That’s never a problem for me.  I have my ways.”  He answered Sadie as though the matter was settled.  He turned his eyes to Callie.  She looked at him, noticing that he didn't quite meet her eyes. 

     “Callie, who’s going to help you move out of your apartment?”

     Callie shrugged.  “Probably my brother, Peter.”

     “Do you need my help?” he offered.

     Callie didn’t know what to say.  “Sam, I would not feel right taking you away from the tent.  You’re needed here.”

     “So are you, and you ducked my question.”  He argued.  He actually looked at her then, but she couldn't read his eyes.  There was such a distance between them, suddenly.

     “Well; Pete and I can do it, but there’s no doubt that some of the heavy stuff taxes me.”  She admitted grudgingly.

     “Then you just let me know when, and I’ll do all I can to be available for you.”  He said kindly.

     “Thanks.”  She answered uneasily.

     Sadie put an arm around Callie as he smiled absently, and walked away.

     “Callie, won’t you sing for us, tonight?”    

   “No.” Callie denied immediately.  “No, Sadie, I think it’s time for me to go home.  I’ve got a lot to do, and a lot to think about.  And I’m not doing any good here, in Sam’s face.  He needs time, and I’m happy to give it to him.  Besides, the sooner I get home, the sooner I can get my business taken care of, and be back here.”

     Sadie buttoned her lip, and studied her friend with worried compassion.  “All right, Callie.  When are you coming back?”

     “I don’t know.  I’ll talk to Mom, Pete, and my landlord, and I’ll give you a call.”

     “Callie.  Everything is going to be fine.  Hang in there.”  Sadie urged.

   Callie gave her a smile that didn’t mask her pain and confusion, and left without further ado.

CHAPTER FIVE

     Sam found Sadie still sitting in the lawn chair when he was done with his appointment.  “So, where’s Callie?” he asked, dropping into the empty chair wearily.

       Sadie looked at him.  ”She’s gone home to take care of business.”

      “Just like that?” he growled incredulously.

      “Yep.  It would seem so.”

     Sam made a sound of disgust, frustration and despair, and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

      “Sam; perhaps you’d better talk to me.”  Sadie suggested gently.

      “What good would that do?”  he scoffed.  “She’s gone!  She just walked out of my life again, without even saying goodbye.”

      Sadie shrugged.  “She’s hurting.  She’s still planning to come with the tent, Sam, and she’s still in love with you.  She just can’t take the distance you’ve put between the two of you, so she went home to cut the misery short.  She seemed to think that you’d asked for time.  She’s giving it to you.  But she’ll be back; she’s ready to commit to the tent.  Maybe by then,
you’ll
be ready to open up to
her
again.”

    Sam shook his head doubtfully.  “Sadie, I don’t know.  Maybe it’s all hopeless.  She’s trying her best to come around, but she doesn’t have a clue what she’s in for, with me.  Frankly, I’m terrified to let her into my heart again.  How can a new Christian, however sincere, step into my world and not get crushed?  Sadie, you know what it’s like.  The pressure, the travel, the demands of ministry, the scheduling, the hassles, the leadership struggles, the finances, the team problems.”  He sighed.

      “Sam, I’ve got just a couple of things to say.  Number one, Callie just laid her whole life down, to come and meet your terms.  And she meant it.  She’s accepted Jesus; she’s given up everything important to her because she loves you.  Number two, she’s an entertainer.  She has worked with people, schedules, backbiting and contract problems.  She’s no shrinking violet.  And number three, if you think it’s up to you whether she gets into your heart or not, you’re  completely deceived.  You never got her out of your heart, and you never will.  Now, why don’t you wait for a couple days, and let her call you?  Then you go help her move, and you do what you told her to do -- give it a little time.”

     Sam raised his eyebrows.  This was bold, even for Sadie.  She had never been so blunt with him.  “And in the meantime, I sit here and go crazy?” he challenged.

     “Why not?  It’s what you’ve asked her to do.  Now, I will schedule you out next week.  I suggest that you go help Callie move.  Meet her mother, whom you will adore.  Get involved in her life.  Drive her back here, and let down your guard.  Nothing has changed since you went for this girl, no holds barred, except that she’s given six hundred percent to meet your needs and lay herself at your feet.  In one month’s time.  I know it was hard on you, but at least she waited until she was sure she could do it the way it had to be done, to be successful.  Don’t be foolish.” She suggested.  She patted his shoulder, and left him sitting there to think it over.

     Two days went by, and Callie hadn’t called.  Sam did not feel easy about it.  He finally decided it wouldn’t hurt to call her, and reach out.  He knew that she was feeling very insecure about him.  He prayed the entire afternoon until he had peace, before he called.

      “Hello?”  Callie answered tiredly.

      “Callie, it’s Sam.”