Always Tried and Proven (30 page)

     Sam just smiled, and prayed for his future brother in law.  Peter had a true awakening that night. 
Imagine!  Him!
  Is all Peter could think.

      After Peter, there were two hundred more who wanted prayer.  Sam was not aware of anything but the job before him.  However, when he got done praying for the last person, he looked around and found himself pretty much alone.  The tent staff had begun work to close up for the night, and the people had almost all gone.  He didn’t see a Wilson anywhere.

     Sam didn’t know what he’d expected, but he was disappointed.  Had she gone home to New York, just like that?   Had she left again, after asking his forgiveness?  Would he ever, ever be able to trust Callie, to count on her?  Would she ever come around?  Could she ever commit fully, and not run away?

     Sam shook his head sorrowfully, and slowly walked to his trailer.  He was tired, and discouraged.  Yes, she’d come.  Yes, God had moved.  Yes, she’d repented.  Yes, she’d done it all again.  But then, she’d just … gone.

     He supposed it was for the best.  She needed time, and Sam needed peace.  But the empty chasm in his heart was still clamoring to be filled, and there was only o0ne way and one person who could fill that space.  Sam blinked back tears and sighed heavily.  After a time, he was able to drift off to sleep.

   After that night, Sam had absolutely no idea what to expect.  He knew very well, however, that the issue of Callie had not been put to rest.  He had a very real expectancy in his heart that Callie would come back, and that she would be his bride.  He knew that it would take a miracle after they left Vermont for him to see her again.  But, it was up to Callie. That much was clear.  All he could do, was wait, and pray.

     It was strange, though.  He kept feeling as though she was close by; so close that he could almost turn his head, and look at her.  He felt as if her eyes were watching him.  He shook his head, wondering if he’d gone over the edge.  Callie was gone.  She was not there!  Yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling of her closeness.  He kept asking the Lord what it meant, but there seemed to be no answers.

     He couldn’t stop thinking of her, the morning that they broke camp and loaded the trucks to head south.  Though he’d been working and sweating all morning, it was Callie who was on his mind; not his work.  He kept thinking that he simply knew for certain that her conversion had been transforming this time.  He was sure it had taken hold!  And so, he prayed.

     That evening, he went to the showers when they stopped to camp, and as he walked, he pulled his tee shirt off over his head.  His shirt was wringing wet, and so were his jeans.  And as he walked, bare from the waist up, he had the strangest sense that someone was staring at him.  He looked over his shoulder, but no one was there.  He decided he was being fanciful, and went on to the showers.  But the strange feeling persisted, that he was being constantly watched.

     The next day, Sam flew home to relax for a few days.  He wasn’t needed on the trip to the next tent site, and he really needed to be alone.  He had business to take care of, and he could easily catch the tent in Raleigh when they were ready to open.

    He found it to be a good decision.  He slept, and prayed, and was more peaceful than he’d been over the past weeks.  He found it very curious that the sense of Callie’s presence did not follow him, when he left the tent.

    While he was home, he got an invitation to go to New Zealand.  It was something he’d been praying about, and it was a great opportunity to go into new territory, so he accepted.  He could still meet the tent in Raleigh, and be with it for the last few days, there.  He got on the phone and lined up some guest speakers for the tent, in his absence.

     And the time in New Zealand was good, but Sam was very lonely. He found himself wanting to tell his friend, the pastor there, about Callie.  But of course, he could not.  He could not say one word about that disaster without giving the wrong impression.    He felt strongly that he was to keep it to himself.

     When Clyde picked Sam up at the airport and drove him back to the tent, Sam was surprised to find that he was glad to be back again.  He loved the tent, with or without Callie.  He had to admit that he loved it a lot more with her, but facts were facts.  She just wasn’t there, and he couldn’t count on her ever being there.  It would take a miracle to bring about that kind of change.

     But, things were not to be so clear.  As Clyde drove him across the field to the tent site, Sam saw a girl with a long, brown braid rolling up the sides to the tent.  He picked his heart up off the floor, and tried to collect himself.  She certainly looked like Callie from the back; however, he’d never known Callie to wear flannel shirts and baseball caps.  Surely, he was mistaken.

     “Who’s that?” he asked Clyde curiously.

     “Who’s what?”  Clyde mumbled.

    “That girl.”  Sam objected, knowing Clyde had to understand.  There was no one else around that he could be talking about.

     “Huh.  I don’t know.  Must be a local volunteer, or something.”  Clyde yawned.  He drove around to park near the the vans and trailers, while Sam stared curiously at the girl’s back, for as long as he could.

     Clyde seemed awfully uneasy, but he couldn’t imagine why.  If the girl was Callie, why would Clyde hide it?  He had to be mistaken.

     But then, he saw the girl hiding in the shadows of the tent that night, still wearing her baseball cap that always kept her face somewhat hidden.  He couldn’t see her face, but her build made him wonder.  Everything about her made him wonder: the line of her jaw, her movements and mannerisms were so like Callie.

     He was very suspicious.  Yet, how could it be?  He tried to dismiss it as wishful thinking.  He almost called the girl out for ministry so he could get a good look at her, but then he thought better of it.  If it was Callie, he didn’t want to humiliate her.  She obviously didn't want her presence to be known, for some reason.  He knew he’d find out soon enough.

     And find out, he did.  There was a stream near the tent site, that Sam found the next morning.  He sat on the bank for some private time, and enjoyed the quiet.  Then, he got up and walked upstream for about a mile, looking at the trees and water, listening to the birds and squirrels.  He heard something else.  It was the sound of a woman’s voice, humming.

     Sam quietly followed the sound, and came upon the girl with the long, brown hair.  She was sitting on the bank, brushing out her very long hair, and singing softly.  She was lovely, in a floral summer top, and shorts.

     Though he’d suspected, the reality hit Sam hard.  Trepidation, gladness and fear all fought for preeminence in his heart.  He just stood there, silently staring.  He found her so lovely; and he discovered that despite his efforts to forget and go on, he still wanted her, desperately.

     She felt his scrutiny and froze, then twisted wildly to find the one who had intruded upon her solitude.  When she saw Sam looking at her, she jumped to her feet with a drawn and very pale face.

     “Hello, Cal.”  He said with a teasing smile.

     “Sam!  How did you find me?”

     “Wasn’t difficult, love.  I was just taking a morning walkabout, as I always do.  Why are you hiding?”

     She blushed profusely, then grew pale.  “I’m … I’m just working, you know, on the tent crew.  That’s all.  I just want to help.”

    Sam sighed.  He didn’t know whether to laugh, or cry.  “Why not just tell me, then?”

     Tears spilled out of Callie’s eyes.  She was wringing her hands.  “I couldn’t!  I mean, I knew if I did it would complicate your life, and then you’d want to put me up in your trailer, and have me singing every night, and I just
can’t
.”

     “I don’t understand, Callie.  What’s wrong with that?”

    “I can’t, Sam.  I don’t deserve all that!  I need to work for the tent.  I need to be just another pair of hands, you know?  I blew my chance.  I don’t deserve that place of honor that you wanted me to have.”

     Sam pondered her words carefully.  He was trying not to react.  He felt a mixture of wonder and frustration.  What was she thinking?  Then he realized:  She
wasn’t
thinking, she knew nothing of the Lord and His grace.  He smiled and looked at her.  “Callie.  Where are you sleeping?”

     “In the cab of Steve’s truck.  You can let the front seat down, and with the club cab, it makes into a pretty decent bed.”

     “Callie, you know that’s not acceptable.  I want you in the trailer tonight.”  He said firmly.

     “No!  Sam, I’m sorry, but I can’t!  I was afraid you’d do this.  Please, don’t.  You need it much more than I do.  You work so hard.  I'll go home, then.  I
won't
take the trailer!”

     Sam sighed, and just stared at her.  “What’s going on, Callie?  Why are you being so difficult about this?  I want you to level with me, now.”

     “Sam, I told you.  I don’t deserve any honor, any privileges, and I won’t take your bed.  The Lord gave me great favor, and I … I spat in His face!  And I spat in yours.  Sam, I am so sorry!  When I came to the tent that last time, I saw you.  I mean, I really
saw
you.  Who you are, in God.  You know?  I saw the truth; and the glory; the power and authority that you carry.  I could feel the grace and the forgiveness and the total sacrifice that you make!  I could feel you giving … literally giving yourself to the people.  To me.” she ended in a little voice.

    Callie swallowed hard, staring intently at her feet.  “Suddenly, I was so ashamed of myself.  I saw myself, with my petty pride and my determination to hurt you, trying to show you I didn’t need you!  I was so ashamed.”

     She shot a look at him to see if he was going to say anything about Gregory, but he was just looking at her, patiently.  It seemed he hadn’t noticed her escort that night, because he wasn’t responding.  Callie heaved a sigh of relief, and thought that just maybe, he really didn’t know.  It certainly seemed to be so.

     Sam’s heart was breaking as he saw the humility of spirit that was being worked in her heart.  It was a true repentance; she was really sorry.

     “Please, Sam.  All I want, is to stay with the tent, and serve.  Let me be a nobody.  Don’t insist that I sleep in your trailer and be the star singer, and all that.  I don’t want that anymore.”

    Sam raised an eyebrow and sighed wearily.  He sat down with his back against a tree, and stared at the flowing stream for a moment while he thought.  Callie waited, a great patience and respect in her demeanor.  She was changed, and it showed in her eyes.  Finally, he looked at her and smiled grimly.

     “Well; I can see that we’ve got a few things to talk about.  First, I want you to know that I understand everything you’ve said.  I really do.  And I respect your wishes.  I’m glad that you want to work in the tent.  I’m glad that you see more about the work we’re doing and the ministry that we have.  I’m happier than I can tell you, to see your heart so given to service, that you desire to serve the Lord and that you’re not seeking any recognition for yourself.  I will not interfere with the work that you want to do in any way.  It’s your choice.  But there are a couple of areas, Callie, that I feel strongly about.”

     “First, I want to ask you to have some compassion on me in one simple thing:  I need to be able to work, and concentrate on my job when I’m here with the tent.  I am going to need to know that you are all right.  I can’t be constantly worrying about you.  Can you understand?”

     Callie blushed and nodded uncertainly.  “Okay.” She agreed.  “What do you want me to do?”

     “Let me make a few arrangements for you that will help me know you’re safe and taken care of.  I would feel this way about any young lady in our care. Basically, I’m asking you to sleep in the trailer.  Even if you were a stranger to me, I would not be pleased to have a single woman sleeping in Steve’s truck.  People walk by, and they will look in.  You can’t dress in it, either, so you either have to wear your nightclothes to the shower room, or else sleep in your clothes.  It’s just not good.”

     “Then, there is the security issue.  Not every man on the grounds is to be trusted.  We have strangers through the camp all hours of the day and night.  There are men who wouldn’t think twice about picking a lock to get to a pretty girl, and it can be done in a flash.  So it’s really not an acceptable situation for a lady.  I get heartburn just thinking about the situations that could develop.  And don’t forget that I am expected to mediate any problems that could come up.  I couldn’t do that very well with my heart hanging out, do you think?”

     She gave him a tortured look.  “I cause you problems just being here, don’t I?  Sam, do you want me to leave?”

    The very idea caused him pain.  “
No
, I don’t want you to leave.  On the contrary;  I just want you to sleep in the trailer.  Will you do that?  For me?  I can put Sadie in there with you, and that will open up her bunk.  So you needn’t feel like you’re doing me out of a bed.”

     Callie slowly nodded.  He was going to have his way, and she couldn’t refuse without seeming argumentative.

    “The other thing is, I’d like to ask you to consider singing.  Callie, the Lord gave you a beautiful voice.  He has uniquely prepared you to minister in song.  Don’t be
unwilling
to use it.  I’m not trying to pressure you to sing every night.  I just want you to be willing, and sensitive to the Lord.  If
He
asks you to sing, be obedient to His prompting.  Don’t rob us, and don’t rob yourself by being a slave to condemnation.  If you go on beating yourself for past mistakes, you won‘t be able to move forward.  It's not about status, Callie; it's about serving, and using the gifts you are given to enrich the lives of others.”