Always Tried and Proven (32 page)

     Callie thought that perhaps, Sadie might just strike her.

   “Didn’t notice?  Didn't notice!  What do you think he is?  Blind, and stupid to boot?  Didn’t notice!  You don’t have a clue what you did to Sam, bringing that oily creep in here, making love to him, do you?  Sam knew it was all for his benefit, but it didn’t make it hurt any less!”

    “You, with your cleavage hanging out, and your short skirt!  What did you expect Sam to do, throw a tantrum for the entire tent to see?  He had two thousand other people to think about that night.  People who had come for a touch from God.  Some people had come across three states that night to be here.  But you thought he should fall apart and fail to minister because you came here with a new boyfriend.  Didn’t notice!  I could slap you silly!”

     “He knew?”  Callie asked in horror.

     “Of course, he knew!  He saw you the minute you came prancing through the door.  You’ve got a lot of nerve, Callie Wilson.  This is not some sick game for your sadistic pleasure!  I can’t even believe he’s letting you stay here!  He told me that oily jerk stuck his tongue so far down your throat he was amazed you didn’t gag. 
He
did, I’ll guarantee you.”

     “But he never gave a hint, never said a thing!  I had hoped, after all, that he … he hadn’t seen Gregory.  And then, he ministered so powerfully that night.”

     “Uh, huh.  And I don’t think he’d survive another night like that, thanks to you.  I’ll make this very clear for you, Callie.  Sam is madly, head over heels in love with you.  I don’t know why!  He’s so far gone that you’ve got him on his knees, bleeding like a stuck pig.  And he can’t protect himself from you because he just can’t seem to resist you.”

    “But I can protect him to some degree, and believe me; I will do all I can!   From now on, honey baby, you’d better leave him alone.  I plan to see that you do, and this entire tent team will back me up.  You can count on it.  You aren’t going to be able to go to the
bathroom
without me watching you.”

     Sadie stepped menacingly close to Callie’s face.  “Why, Callie.  You look so shocked.  You still don’t have a clue, do you?”

     “Sadie, I’m speechless.  I have no idea why you’re behaving this way.  Sam and I just had this little ill-fated romance.  He hardly ever even kissed me.  Chill out.  It’s obviously over.” She lamented.

     “Uh, huh.  Little ill-fated romance.  Maybe that’s all it was to
you
, sweetie, but that’s not what it was to my pastor.  You just about killed him!  He thought he’d found the love of his life, but then you went out to play.  Does that feed your sadistic ego?  When he saw you with that man, I thought he was having a heart attack.  He couldn’t get his legs to hold him up.  He sat down and his face turned gray as a gravy boat.  His hands were shaking.  His whole body was trembling.  It took the entire ministry team the better part of an hour to get him halfway straightened out.  He didn’t think he could even go out front.  He was sick to his stomach.  It was a minor miracle that we were able to pray him through it.  But Sam did it.  He got hold of God and got his eyes off you.  He got hold of God’s promises and walked through that night.”

     Sadie’s eyes were still blazing, but she was a bit mollified by the pallor on Callie’s face, and the horror in her eyes.  “I’ll explain this to you once, Callie Wilson.  Sam is not your man.  He’s God’s man.  And we intend to keep it that way.  And if you can’t find your way to be God’s woman, you will never, ever get your hands on Sam again.  We need Sam and we love him.  And we will
never
let you do that to him again.  Do you understand me?  Every human being in this camp will be with me in this.  When a service is ready to start, the team would appreciate praying for the people who are sincere about receiving what God has for them – not doing damage control because you find some slug to make love to, for Sam's benefit!”

    Callie looked at her with miserable eyes.  “Sadie, I understand.” She said quietly.  “I told Sam, and I’ll tell you.  I’m very sorry for what I did.  It was stupid and childish.  I’m not going to give Sam any more trouble.  Now, I just want to help out with the tent.  I don’t even want to sing anymore.  I’ll stay out of his way.”

    Sadie raised a suspicious eyebrow.  “Really?  So, you just want to hang around for the fun of it?  There are easier ways to get by, honey.  Why the tent?”

      Callie shrugged.  “Because, it means a great deal to me to be here.  I just like to be in the tent. I know it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

     “Yeah, but Sam still loves you.  Don’t you think it’s a little bit hard on him, seeing you every blooming day?”

     Callie sighed, and shook her head.  “You don’t have to believe me, Sadie, but I do love Sam.  I know that I messed up, real bad.  I can’t help hoping that in time, Sam will see that I’ve really changed.  Maybe he’ll give me one more chance.  I don’t know.  Believe me, if I can see that things aren’t going to work out, I’ll go away and never come back.  But I like it here, and I love Sam.  So I have to try.  But it’s up to him.  Don’t worry, I won’t bother him.  Not ever.  It’s up to him.  If he loves me the way you say he does, maybe.  Maybe.”

     “You’re gonna leave him alone?” Sadie growled.

   “Yes. I won’t do more than say hello, or what’s necessary to be respectful.” She promised.  She looked so pathetic and wounded, that Sadie almost believed her.

    “All right, Callie.  But I’m warning you.  We will be watching.  You won’t get by with anything.”

     Callie shook her head slowly.  “You have my promise.”

     Sadie looked at her critically.  “Just be real careful around him, will you?  He’s still raw inside.  Give him a chance to recover without seeing your face every ten minutes.  When he sees you, he sees you with that man.  You know what I mean?”

     Callie covered her eyes and burst into tears.  She simply couldn’t help it.  She turned and started walking down the road, away from Sadie.

     “Callie?  Callie, come back here.”  Sadie insisted.  “You’re too darned upset to go walking off by yourself.  If you get lost, it’ll send Sam into a tizzy.  Come on, now.”

     “I can’t help it.  I don’t want anyone to see me like this.  Especially Sam.  I can’t take any more today, Sadie.  Just leave me alone, I just want to die!”

     “Okay.  Okay, Callie.  I’ll leave you alone, but I’m going to walk with you.  I can’t let you go off by yourself.  Sam would be very upset.”

     Callie nodded, and they walked.  The mood between them mellowed as time passed.

     “So just who was Mr. Tall, dark and handsome the other night?”  Sadie asked curiously.

     Callie shrugged.  “He’s just a guy I know that’s got a serious crush on me.  Sadie, I don’t expect you to believe me, but I’m going to tell you, anyway.  I didn’t think Sam would care.  I figured it was going to make him a little mad.  We had this argument, and he … well, he was so blasted antagonizing!  He told me there would never be anybody else but him for me, and he seemed so … so arrogant!  It just made me want to prove him wrong.  I lost my head and went out to show him he was wrong, that I could have another guy in a snap of my fingers.  I know it was ridiculous.  I really had no idea that seeing me with Gregory would upset him so much.  I wish I could take it back.”

   “Me, too.”  Sadie agreed.  “You know, Callie, it’s obvious that you don’t understand about Sam.  He just doesn’t ‘date women’.  He can’t.  What affects his personal life affects his ministry.  He went so far out on a limb chasing you that it was suicidal.  I can see that you didn’t really understand.  But I was scared to death!”

     “I knew that Sam must be willing to do anything, and risk everything for you.  He just would not do that unless he was too much in love with you to help himself.  And believe me, Sam is
never
arrogant.  When he says something so strongly, it's faith, or a true knowing what is to be, from God.  Sam is the most humble man I've ever known.”

     Sadie’s declaration caused Callie’s tears to flow again.  “Sadie; do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

     Sadie’s smile was sad.  “If I know Samuel, he already has.  Heck; I know he has.  That night when you came with that man, and then you came to the front for prayer; I saw him standing and watching you, and his heart was in his eyes.  I was terrified for him.  I went over and put a hand on his shoulder.  When he turned to look at me, I wanted to cry.  His eyes just broke my heart.  And he said to me, ‘Sadie, I need you to go to Callie.  Ask her if she wants me to pray for her, or if she would rather someone else do it.  I don’t want to assume’.”

     “He was so full of compassion and concern for you, Callie.  He didn’t want to make it awkward for you.  He wanted your moment with God to be
perfect
.  And he didn’t want to intrude, because you had come with someone else.”

     Callie’s heart wrenched with conviction.  She stopped walking, and just wept bitterly.  She was so miserable in that moment that she truly wished she could die.  It was more than she could bear, to hear the truth.  She dropped to her knees at the side of that deserted road, and wept bitterly for a long time.

   “Callie, I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to be so hurtful, but you need to fully understand what it’s like for Sam when you come out to play.  The man is not making it.  You’re slowly destroying him, and you’re going to have to change, if you’re going to stay here.”

     “Oh, if only I could do it again.”  Callie cried.  “I was a fool!  I was afraid of him; I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t want to fall for him.  I didn’t want to love him.  I didn’t want to put up with his devotion to God, and I couldn’t help myself.  When we argued, I just kind of lost all reason.  I didn’t know what else to do! I just wanted to hurt him the way I was hurting.”

     Sadie raised her eyebrows.  “Well, you succeeded.  You hurt him, big time.  Callie, I know that Sam is a lot of man. Especially from where you were standing.”

     Callie groaned.  “I didn’t want to give up my life.  I didn’t want to lose my band.  I didn’t want his religion.  I was desperately attracted to Sam, but it all happened too fast!  When the band left to follow the tent, I was really angry.  I felt as though I’d lost everything.”

     “Then, when I was moving, and Sam and I argued, it was too much.  I had nothing left in my life to hold onto, and Sam was being impossible.  He laughed in my face and told me I belonged to him.  I got so mad I just set out to prove him wrong.  But I was afraid he’d be right.  And he was.  Now, what do I do?”

     “I can’t imagine Sam fighting with anybody.”

     Callie snorted.  “Don’t try it.  He’s not the kind you want to see riled up.”  She advised.  “I made him real mad, and he was not a pleasant customer.  He gave me a tongue-lashing I’ll never forget.  Sometimes I wonder if I’ll even be able to recover.  I still hear the things he said to hurt me, in my head.”

    Sadie looked at her sideways.  “Sam?  I’m sorry, Callie, but something doesn’t add up.  Sam is the gentlest man I know.”

    “Not when he’s mad!  But I don’t blame him.  I drove him to it, I suppose.  I was doing everything I could to force his hand.  I wanted him, and I didn’t want religion.  I wanted him, and I didn’t want marriage.  Not unless he’d give up his religion.  I had no idea what a fine line he was walking.  Baby, did he ever let me know.”

      “Callie, are you sure it’s a good idea for you to be here?”

    “I have to be.  I can’t keep running away from Sam, and I’m done running away from Jesus.  I’m going to work through this, and give it some time.  But if it turns out to be certain there is no chance for Sam and me, I’ll go.  There’s nothing else I can do.”

     Sadie sighed.

     “Sadie, are you … are you in love with him, too?  I really need to understand.”

     Sadie gave Callie a sharp look.  “No.  No, Callie, I’m not.  I’m just very close to him.  When I first met Sam, I thought he was the most perfect human being I’d ever met.  But he had no interest in me at all romantically, and over time it simmered down and fizzled out.  I didn’t fall in love with him, but there was a strong physical attraction on my part.  That’s all.  He never gave me so much as the bat of an eyelash, so we just became very good friends.”

     Callie nodded.  “Thanks.  Will you tell me the truth, Sadie?  Do you think he could ever give me another chance?”

     “Yes.”  Sadie answered tightly.  “I think all you’d have to do would be to show him you’ve changed.  And Callie, if I were
sure
you’d changed, I’d help you.  Sam loves you, and he needs you desperately.  I wish I were more sure of you.”

    Callie gave her a shocked look, and tears started up in her eyes.  “Sadie; thank you for saying that.  I will show him.  I will!  Tell me what you’d do if you were me.”

    “Well, Cal.  I think honestly that I would sing.  Put yourself in front of him again.  Get his eyes on you, and let him see the changes.  But let him make every move, or who knows what he might do.  He’s not over you by a long shot.  But be very careful; he’s tender, and he’s gun shy.  And don’t you
dare
run, if he does make a move.  You have to be ready for him.”

     Callie broke into a nervous sweat just thinking about it.

    Sadie laughed.  “Don’t worry, now.  He’ll be extremely cautious this time, but pretty soon, he’ll come testing the waters.  You’ll not see the Sam that chased you unmercifully in the beginning, but he'll come back.  Just take it one day at a time.”