Always with You (WIth You Trilogy) (17 page)

“What?” He was obviously taken aback. He looked at me as if that was the last thing he expected me to say.

I sighed.
What am I going to say?
This wasn’t anybody’s business but Jason’s and I’d already crossed a line by trying to find his mother.

“Promise not to tell anyone?” I whispered my plea, already knowing it was pointless.

“No,” he frowned. “Spit it out, Jelly.”

I could feel the frustration rolling off him.

“I’m serious, Karl. This isn’t my secret to share. At least promise me you won’t tell anyone unless they really have to know. It’s none of their business,” I implored him.

“I’ll decide that once you tell me,” he growled, clearly at the end of his temper.

I sighed, knowing that was the best I was going to get. “It’s about Jason,” I mumbled.

Karl stiffened and motioned for me to go on.

“I was trying to find his mum,” I continued.

He relaxed a little. I don’t know what he was expecting but clearly it was worse than what I had to say.

“Alright,” he sighed. “This can stay between us for now.”

I nodded my thanks and continued. “Jason’s father is an asshole. He hasn’t seen him in years. His Mum left when he was eight and they haven’t spoken since. I was trying to find her because it obviously really bothers him and I think he deserves an apology, or an explanation
, or at the very least, the truth.”

“Why are
you
looking for her then?” Karl asked.

“Because Jason doesn’t know. He says he’s never looked for her. He acts like it doesn’t bother him but it does. I know it does,” I implored him to understand.

“This is important to you,” he stated, studying my face with a look of intrigue on his own.

I nodded.

“Alright. What have you tried so far?”

“Phonebooks, electoral registers, social media, but nothing so far,” I frowned
dolefully.

“Want me to look into it?”

“You’d do that?” I asked, surprised and grateful at the offer.

“Course,” he nodded. “I could look into some routes you’re unable to explore.”

“Use your kickass military connections?” I teased, only half-joking.

“Something like that,” he grinned.

“Karl, that would mean the world to me,” I gushed, my spirits lifting at the idea of finding her.

“So,” he started, brushing off my thanks. “Doesn’t he have any other family you could ask?”

I shook my head. “I think it’s just him and Ben.”

Karl nodded and took another gulp of coffee.

“If Jason tells you anything else about her, let me know. It might help.”

“Alright,” I said, my hopes lifted slightly. “I’ll see what I can find out.”

Getting more information
wouldn’t be an easy feat. Jason hated talking about anything personal. I didn’t want to push him and I partially understood why he had a hard time opening up but it hurt a bit. It hurt a lot if I was honest with myself. He knew everything about me, even the painful things that I’d never talked about until he came into my life.

Jason and I had been together for almost a year and I still didn’t even know what the tattoo that took up so much of his chest meant to him.
Shouldn’t I know everything about the man I love?
It made me feel like I was letting him down, even though I was trying to give him space so he’d tell me things on his own.

“Fuck me!” Matt declared,
ambling into the kitchen and plonking himself down at the table. “They put some strong shit in the curry up here.”

I cringed and decided to tone them out by making more coffee and some toast for Matt. Of all my brothers, Matt had the dirtiest mouth. I had no idea how he managed to keep it clean at work.

I put more energy into ignoring them once they started discussing size and shape of bathroom ablutions. These were thirty-year-old men, sat cracking jokes about poop. This was usually the twins’ area. I rolled my eyes at them with my back turned.

There was a knock at the front door and Matt broke o
ff their disgusting discussion to open it. Jason followed Matt into the kitchen and my whole body smiled at the sight of him. No man on earth should look as sexy as he did in a pair of stonewash jeans and a plain black t-shirt. It should have been illegal.

“Morning, little squirrel,” he flashed his million-dollar smile at me as he cocked his head.

“Morning,” I smiled back happily, taking in his rugged sexiness in all its glory.

He lifted his chin in greeting to Karl before stalking across the kitchen to scoop me up in
his arms and pressing a tender kiss to the tip of my nose. It wasn’t the sort of kiss I wanted but I suspected that was in deference to my brothers and I appreciated his consideration.

“Your breakfast?” Jason asked, nodding his head towards the toast I’d been making. I loved the way his trussed locks fell over his forehead when he made the gesture.

I shook my head. “No that’s Matt’s. Have you eaten?”

“No. I was hoping we could eat together,” he fake pouted and I kissed his bottom lip gently.

“I haven’t eaten either,” I assured him. “I’ll fix us something.”

“If you haven’t eaten, why are you making Matt breakfast?” Jason frowned, turning to glare in Matt’s direction.

I squeezed my arms around his waist. “You know how they get when you don’t feed them,” I teased. “Besides, they came all the way up here for me. It’s the least I can do.”

“You need to eat too, baby,”
Jason frowned at me, cupping my cheek with his hand.

“I do,” I nodded. “But now we can eat together.”

His face lightened a bit and he smiled at me. I hadn’t missed Karl and Matt rolling their eyes at us behind our backs. They were used to Jason getting uppity about my eating and even more so when he thought my brothers were taking advantage of me. Really though, I had no problems making them breakfast. They were here for me, I wanted to make sure they were taken care of. They’d been taking care of me my whole life.

“So,
” Karl started once Jason and I had cleaned up together and sat at the kitchen table. “The office called about the silver car.”

We were alone in the kitchen, just the four of us, because my roommates hadn’t woken up yet.

“The car was a rental from a small-scale company,” he continued. “It was registered under the name John Smith.”

“John Smith?” Matt scoffed.

“Fake name if ever I’ve heard one,” Karl agreed.

“Don’t
rental places take copies of licenses?” Jason asked.

Karl nodded. “Usually, but like I said, it was a small place.”

“So it could just be a normal guy who happened to rent a car in Leeds?” I asked hopefully. “I mean, it’s a pretty common name.”

“Maybe,” Karl shrugged noncommittally.

I could tell he didn’t believe it.

“What about the his face? Xander got a picture, right?” Matt asked.

“Nothing so far, but it could take a while,” Karl answered.

I wasn’t sure how I was meant to feel. If they couldn’t find anything
, then maybe there was nothing to find. Even Xander had said it might have been nothing.

We sat in silence a while longer. Karl looked deep in thought, Matt looked like he wanted more toast, and Jason looked worried. I hated seeing that look in his face. I didn’t want him to have to worry about me.

“You guys want to go to the gym today?” I asked, hoping for a change of subject.

“Nah,” Karl shook his head with a grin. “We can work out when we get back. What do you want to do?”

I smiled at him appreciatively. They rarely missed a day of working out and it was sweet that they wanted to make sure I was happy.

“Can we go out for lunch?” I asked hopefully. “I can pay,” I added. I didn’t want them to think I expected them to pay for me.

“Sure,” Karl nodded. “Matt can pay,” he added with a grin.

“Why me?” Matt grumbled, he didn’t seem too bothered though.

“Because I kicked your ass on the wall yesterday,” Karl smirked.

“My arse you did!” Matt retorted.

I rolled my eyes whilst they argued back and forth in their usual fighting-for-top-dog style. There was no need to worry, this was their dynamic. I smiled over at Jason instead and looked forward to a day spent with the three of them.

September, 21st September 2013

Craig did not look happy. I couldn’t b
lame him. Twenty-five blows weren’t as bad as thirty but it was still a hell of a lot to take.

A few weeks had passed since the saloon incident and the waters seemed to have calmed. Karl said whoever had been keeping tabs on me seemed to have lost interest but he promised that the task force were keeping an eye on it so I was able to relax a little.

This weekend, Jason and I had come to Derby for Craig’s birthday and I was looking forward to a chance to blow off some steam with my family.

Craig adopted his pre-fight face and took a d
eep breath as he waited for this birthday blows to begin. The others got five each whilst Jake got three and I got two.

I didn’t want to hit him at all but Karl was quite
insistent and I figured it would hurt less if I hit him rather than one of the others.

“Sorry,” I whispered once I’d given him the twenty-fifth and final blow.

“Didn’t hurt,” he grimaced back, sweat beading on his brow.

“Uh huh,” I humoured him with a smirk. “Happy birthday, big brother.”

“Thanks, sis,” he replied, his grimace turning to a grin as he flexed his sore arm in order to give me a hug.

Craig’s birthday had actually been a few days before but we waited until the weekend to celebrate so that everybody would be off work.
He’d been working the early morning shift so even though it was four in the afternoon, he was only just arriving home to receive his birthday beating.

“How’s it feel to be halfway to old?” Jason smirked, handing Craig a cold beer.

Craig looked too grateful for the beer to be offended. His birthday was one of the few days per year that he cut himself some slack and strayed away from his crazy strict diet.

“You tell me, you’re a month closer than I am,” Craig replied after his first sip.

“Which makes me a month wiser,” Jason retorted.

“Pfft,” Craig scoffed. “If you were wiser, you’d take your hands off my sister.”

His threat lacked venom and was betrayed by the humour in his eyes. We both knew he didn’t really mean it but it was like he couldn’t let anyone believe that he was okay with us and had to maintain the overprotective brother façade.

“Nope, I’d have to be very stupid to do that,” Jason laug
hed, pulling me closer into him to make a point.

I had the very distinct feeling that territory was being marked and I had t
o work really hard at not laughing at the caveman-like display. I squeezed Jason’s arm gently and smiled up at him, sending him psychic messages to ease off a little. I didn’t think it was likely, but I still wanted to avoid conflicts between them.

Craig just smirked and shook his head, taking another long sip of his beer and turning to face the twins who were bickering amicably about god knows what.

“I wish I was going with you,” Jason pouted, spinning me around to face him.

“Me too,” I sighed, burying my face in his chest. “But it’s tradition and I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“I know,” he grinned. “You’ve been kicking ass recently. I’m not too worried.”

“I have, right?” I chuckled. I was getting more and more confident with my krav maga and felt secure in the knowledge that I could defend myself if I needed to. I had no intention of going out and picking fights, that wasn’t the point. It just meant I didn’t have to be that scared little girl I’d once been.

“Say hello to Hannah and Ben from me,” I smiled. The fact that they lived so close to my brothers now made it much more enticing for Jason to make the trip down to Derby with me. He could just hop on the train and be with his brother within half an hour.

“I will. H
ave fun with the mob,” he returned, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. He’d subtly moved us into the hallway away from the prying eyes of my brothers.

We took full advantage as Jason gave me a patented goodbye-kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, grazing over the roof of my mouth and eliciting a small giggle from me because it tickled. His teeth nibbled my lower lip and my giggling ceased. Moving his hands under my t-shirt, he pulled me closer, eliminating any space between us. The hardening length of his cock teased
the steadily increasing pulse between my thighs and I groaned against him.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jake’s groan interrupted us. “Get a fucking room. Preferably one miles away.”
He shot us a stony look before slamming the bathroom door behind him.

“Whoops,”
I grinned cheekily, looking up at Jason through my eyelashes.

“He’ll get over it,” Jason shrugged, pulling me back into him.

Our kissing recommenced and I forgot all about Jake as Jason blindly manoeuvred us towards the shoes and coats by the door.

“You’re making it really hard for me to go,” he breathed against my lips.

“I can feel just how hard I’m making it,” I teased, pushing myself against his erection and surprising myself with my boldness.

Jason’s eyes sparkled with surprise before burning with desire.
I could see he was fighting hard with the need to take me in a very carnal way.
I won’t say no
. I was very close to pleading with him to take me up to my room and put that hardness to good use but Jake slammed the bathroom door and huffed as he made his way back into the kitchen.

“I better go before your brothers
explode at me,” he chuckled.

“Yeah,” I sighed dejectedly, pouting
despite my best efforts.

“One more for the road,” he grinned, giving me another goodbye-kiss.

We had to physically pull ourselves away from this one before it got out of hand. I sighed as I watched the door close behind Jason. He shot me a smirk as he left which told me he knew all about the dampness between my legs and was going to enjoy knowing that there was nothing I could do about it until we were reunited later that evening.

“Jelly,” Karl motioned me over once I returned to the kitchen, still sighing in frustration at Jason’s absence.

The twins grinned wickedly in my direction and that was my second heads-up that I was in trouble. The first was the stern tone of voice that Karl was using.

“Yes, sir?” I prompted, coming to a stop in front of him and trying to control the worry clawing at me.
He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt me.

“I know you’re young and in love and it’s fucking adorable,” he said sarcastically. “But this is our house and under our roof you will show some respect, understood?”

“Yes, sir,” I nodded glumly.

“Good,” he relaxed, dropping back out of soldier mode. “Want something to drink?” He held up a bottle of cider and raised his eyebrow at me.

I felt like I was watching a fast paced Ping-Pong match with his rapid change of mood. I wasn’t sure if asking me if I wanted alcohol was a trick question. I scanned his face quickly and he seemed genuine.

“Um, yes please,” I mumbled uncertainly.

He slid the bottle towards me over the surface of the island.

“Thanks,” I smiled more confidently, appreciating the effort he was making not to be too overbearing.

I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured my cider, shuffling past Jake and muttering “tattletale” under my breath.

Jake chuckled and nudged me playfully in the ribs with his elbow.
He smiled and looked up at me with a question in his eyes, eager to know if I really was annoyed at him. I smiled back because I wasn’t really annoyed. Jason and I should have been more careful with our PDA in font of them. When we were home, they were always careful to restrict their overly heavy saliva exchanges to their rooms and I owed them the same courtesy.

The only thing Craig wanted for dinner was KFC. He wasn’t interested
in eating at a nice restaurant, he just wanted the food he didn’t usually allow himself. The twins looked overjoyed at his decision and they ordered way to many bargain buckets for the number of mouths there were to feed but I knew they’d get through it all without a problem.

With Ian away, Karl had taken over the role of Jelly-food-enforcer and he made sure that I got a whole tub of coleslaw to myself along with my veggie wrap. He gave me a look as he passed it over which told me to eat it all. I resisted rolling my eyes because I knew it came from a good place, plus KFC’s coleslaw was delicious.

“My weight’s fine now, you know,” I smiled. “I can feed myself.”

“I’m not worried about you feeding yourself,” Karl smirked. “I’m worried about that lot not letting you.” He pointed to the rest of the family and I had to admit that he had a point. The twins were eyeing my coleslaw hungrily, despite the mountain of chicken wings they each had on their plates.

“They’d have to fight me for it,” I grinned, pulling the tub closer to me. I stuck my tongue out at them for good measure, knowing full well they wouldn’t dare try and wrestle the creamy deliciousness away from me.

“Jelly stuck her tongue out!” Rick declared around a mouthful of chips.

“So?” I frowned. “There’s no rule about sticking out tongues.”

“Should be,” Rick mumbled.

“Nyaw,” I mocked. “Did I offend the big bad fireman by sticking my tongue out?”

“Shut u
p, Jelly,” Rick grumbled whilst the others laughed at him.

I grinned smugly whilst shovelling a large spoonful of coleslaw into my mouth. I was loving the easy back and forth, the relaxed atmosphere, and the grins on all my brothers
’ faces. Those grins broadened massively when I brought out the chocolate fudge cake I’d made for Craig’s birthday.

“Jesus, look at all those candles,” Jake laughed. “You can barely see the cake.”

“Need I point out that you are twenty-one and no longer a teenager?” I goaded Jake. “You’re officially old.”

“Twenty-one isn’t old. Twenty-five is,” he retorted.

“Four more years and I’ll remind your skinny arse of that,” Craig chuckled, mussing up Jake’s overly long hair.

“I’m not skinny,” Jake snapped,
a definite sulk coming on.

“Jake, they only say that to wind you up,” I sighed, feeling bad for him. “They’re going to keep doing it if you pout every time.”

“I do not pout,” he growled, puffing up his chest in what I’m sure he thought was a manly fashion.

Too bad for him that he was the smallest in a group of testosterone driven crazy men.

“My arse you don’t,” Matt laughed. “Angelina Jolie would kill for those things.”

Jake’s chest deflated as the others laughed at him and I smiled across sympathetically.

“It’s the manliest possible pout,” I reassured him.

The teasing banter continued without the usual undercurrents of tension. Even Matt and Craig were being unusually pleasant to each other and I hoped beyond hope that Matt and Karl would cut him some slack on his birthday. As was tradition, Craig would probably be shipped off to destination u
nknown at the end of the night but if he was worried about it, he wasn’t letting it show.

Considering some of the awful things they did to each other on their major birthdays, I
thought this one was the least horrifying. I mean, sure, it would be a massive inconvenience to get home, especially seeing as he’d probably be hung over, but I’d definitely prefer it to being tied up over night, left naked with a stranger, or – god forbid – getting my genitals pierced. My body shuddered involuntarily at the thought of the thirty-year “present.”
I’d never let that happen.

With a good chunk of the family alcohol reserves emptied, we made our way into town. We were back at Ian’s friend Rob’s club. I shuddered at the memory of the knife fight last time I’d been there but, when he saw the look on my face, Karl assured me that Rob had doubled up on security measures since
then.

As before, Rob hooked my brothers up with a table and lots of beer. On the rare occasions I’d tasted beer, I’d definitely not enjoyed it. I didn’t understand how anybody could enjoy it.
I’d rather eat a mouthful of mud again than drink a pint of that
.

“What you after?” Rob asked me, approaching me at the bar.

I’d slipped away from the others to get Craig’s shots and something for me to drink. My brothers could see me from their table otherwise I’m sure they would have followed me. Karl had assigned Danny to Jelly duty but he’d had a few beers so I didn’t have to worry about him being uptight with me.

“Shots for Craig and something for me to drink,” I smiled politely.

He nodded and shifted to stand behind the bar. The place was pretty full and the other bartenders were working quickly, serving the many patrons scrambling over each other to get served. The music was loud but I could just make out what Rob was saying over it.

“What are you having?” He shouted once the shots were served up.

I hesitated as it occurred to me that I’d never actually been in this situation before. I’d never ordered for myself at a bar. I drank so rarely and, when I did, my brothers usually ordered for me and controlled what I drank. I found myself in a unique situation and I was thoroughly humiliated by the fact that I had no idea what I wanted.