Amanda's Amorous Aliens (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (2 page)

“No, that was your mother,” Karriak-Sektannen said with a smile. This was more like the computer personality he’d purchased. As insults went it wasn’t much of one, since computer programs didn’t actually have families, but it broke the boredom of his solo mission.

He scanned the survey results and frowned at what seemed to be an unexpected anomaly.

“What the fuck is that?” he asked the computer in surprise.

“How the fuck would I know?” the computer answered with a computerized snicker.

“‘To’huto the toaster’ has quite a nice ring to it. Don’t you think?”

“Fine, I’ll figure it out. Just don’t go twisting my knobs, yet.”

Karriak-Sektannen laughed as the computer started its analysis on the strange object that had appeared on the current feed of survey images.

“It would appear, sir,” the computer said, using the word “sir” as if it were a swear word, “that it is a very primitive version of a spacefaring craft.”

“Where from?”

“I cannot identify the design, but it does not seem to be an assault vehicle.”

Well that was a little bit of good news, but then again, history was full of examples where something seemingly benign simply wasn’t.

“Track its course.”

“Now why the fuck didn’t I think of that?” To’huto asked sarcastically.

“Sorry, To’h,” Karriak-Sektannen said with another laugh. “I keep forgetting that under all that brainless prattle is an artificial
intelligence
.”

“Up yours, sir,” the computer said, following up with a noise that sounded suspiciously like a fart from one of the mammalian creatures they’d noticed during their study of this planet.

Karriak-Sektannen watched the small craft’s descent toward the planet, a mixture of concern, annoyance, and interest blending in his brain. He had no time for uninvited intruders.

He’d volunteered for this solo mission with the express purpose of being alone when he went through telkobar. It wasn’t unusual for his people to want to be by themselves during such an intensely private experience in their lives, but he’d also had a front-seat view of his brothers’ experiences and had no wish to suffer through such pointless drama. No, he was far better off alone during this time in his life, and he sure as hell didn’t welcome a visitor.

The craft banked sharply as it reached the top of the tree line, and for a breathtaking moment, Karriak-Sektannen thought it might crash into the local foliage. It was almost as if the craft had been on some sort of autopilot, but at the last moment the pilot had noticed the danger. Who the hell was this maniac?

“It would seem that our visitor is unwell,” the computer said in a helpful tone of voice. “Should I launch a dragline?”

Karriak-Sektannen winced at the thought of purposely bringing the craft into his ship, but with its crazy flight path there was a very real possibility of it crashing into the planet’s surface. He was supposed to be studying the local inhabitants in their natural environment, not picking through the pieces of an unidentified wreck.

“Thank you, To’h. Can you tell if the inhabitants are armed?”

“I cannot be certain,” the computer said, “but there seems to be only one major life-form aboard the vessel. It appears to be infested with many microbes and symbiotic life-forms, but without closer study I cannot be certain what they are.”

“Environmental requirements?” Karriak-Sektannen asked as he reached for his stun weapons. He might be on a peaceful exploration, but he’d traveled the galaxy enough to know that even in this time frame the world was a dangerous place.

“The ship appears to have come from an oxygen-rich environment, not dissimilar to this planet’s. I will adjust the cargo bay accordingly.”

“Thank you, To’h.”

“The extra oxygen will shorten your telkobar preparation,” the computer warned.

“I’m aware of that,” Karriak-Sektannen said, grinding his back teeth. He should have had months more to prepare, but with the increased oxygen to his lungs it would hasten things considerably. It was just one more reason to be annoyed at his unexpected, and very unwelcome, visitor. “To’h, as soon as the vessel is aboard, please begin a diagnostic. I would prefer that this tourist leave as soon as possible.”

“Absolutely,” To’huto said as if it were a sentiment they shared.

* * * *

Amanda squinted. Surely she couldn’t be that far off course.

Her eyes watered, her vision returning slowly after that blinding flash of light. Nearly every warning beep, ping, and screech programmed into the computer was going off at the same time. Whatever that flash had been, it appeared to have literally fried every system on the damn craft.

Just something else she was going to have to fix
after
she kicked Hensworth in the ass. She’d known from the beginning that he’d hated the idea of a woman achieving anything in the field of space exploration, but she hadn’t once thought it was enough for him to sabotage her test flight. Hell, Amanda had the approval of The President herself, for fuck’s sake. Hensworth shouldn’t have been able to touch her.

She dragged in a deep breath as she programmed the autopilot to fly in a wide circle so that she could concentrate on fixing the navigational system. It wasn’t an ideal solution—and she sure as hell didn’t want to be “rescued” while going around in circles—but she didn’t have much choice. If she couldn’t identify where she was, then the safest way to deal with this situation was to sit tight and wait for someone to find her. Assuming of course that she hadn’t accidentally flown into enemy airspace and was about to be shot down.

No sooner had the thought flipped through her head when something hit the underside of the craft. It dragged her off her circular flight path, pulling her down toward the ground once more.

Fabulous
.

Could this fucked-up day get any fucking worse?

* * * *

“How long, To’h?” Karriak-Sektannen asked as the cargo doors slid open and the beauty of the planet he’d spent the past few weeks studying came into view.

“Approximately 13.7 seconds.”

Karriak-Sektannen rolled his eyes, but thanked the computer anyway. He had no idea if To’huto meant 13.7 seconds at the end of the sentence or the beginning, but since he could now see the ship in question he didn’t bother to ask.

“Interesting,” To’huto said, actually sounding interested. Maybe Karriak-Sektannen would hold off on asking for a refund. “The spacecraft is made mostly from metals indigenous to this planet.”

“What?” he asked in confusion. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. He’d traveled here to explore the planet before it evolved modern sentient beings. There weren’t even any inhabitable worlds close enough to make mining from this planet commercially viable. “To’h, scan for wormholes.”

“None detected,” To’huto said with what sounded suspiciously like laughter in his “voice.” “But you might be interested in the residual readings of a time fracture that seems to have opened up around the same time as our visitor’s unexpected appearance.”

“It’s a time traveler?”

“It would appear that way,” To’huto said as the craft landed in the cargo bay. “It also appears that our visitor is of the female variety.”

Fuck
. “Female variety of what species, To’h?”

The machine started laughing, the sound almost a perfect imitation of Karriak-Sektannen’s older brother. He ground his teeth together.

“What species, To’h?”

“Human.”

Amanda’s eyes were still trying to adjust after the bright light, because she sure as hell could not be seeing what the fuck she was seeing. It just wasn’t possible.

Even if she’d wandered into enemy territory, surely the spy satellites would have picked up such a large vehicle hovering just above the ground. Amanda couldn’t even figure out how it was towing her toward it.

But toward it her small craft went.

A large piece at the side of the vessel slid open, and she watched helplessly as her little craft was dragged inside. She hastily ran through every “captured by the enemy” scenario she’d ever studied and shuddered at every single one. None of the countries capable of building this type of technology would take kindly to an uninvited visitor.

But it was the man who walked toward her craft that scared the fucking crap out of her.

* * * *

Karriak-Sektannen could already feel the effects of the increased oxygen. Even wearing the most advanced, stretchable material known to his people wasn’t going to be enough. He would need to deal with this quickly and go change into more suitable clothing. He stumbled slightly, grimacing as his toes forced themselves through the ends of his most comfortable shoes.

“To’h, is she conscious?”

“That she is,” the computer said, sounding amused, “and judging by the angry language, not very happy about our invitation.”

“Perfect,” Karriak-Sektannen said, not really certain if he meant it sarcastically or not. A pissed-off houseguest wasn’t something he wanted, needed, or even deserved, but at least if she was annoyed she’d be anxious to go home and leave him in peace.

“She doesn’t seem willing to come out voluntarily,” To’huto announced. “Would you like me to override her electronic locking mechanisms?”

“Please,” Karriak-Sektannen said with a nod, “but don’t damage her ship. I want this human gone as soon as possible.”

“So you don’t want to play with your new friend?” the computer asked in the same teasing tone his brothers would have used.

“No,” he said on a low growl. It didn’t help that one of the side effects of telkobar was an increase in sexual arousal. He’d come on this solo mission fully expecting to have his dick in hand quite often, but with a female on board it was unlikely to be enough. Fuck, he had to get her
gone
before he did something truly stupid.

The occupant of the ship didn’t react as the clear panel above her slid back.

“I thought you said she was human,” Karriak-Sektannen said as he stepped closer to the little spaceship. The being inside didn’t look like a human female. With its large head, strangely reflective eyes, and long, ugly snout, it looked a little like the creature he’d studied on his last survey mission. If his research was correct, that creature turned out to be the ancestor of what humans would later call the elephant seal.

“I believe,” To’huto said, interrupting Karriak-Sektannen’s wayward thoughts, “that the visual distortion is coming from the fact that the human female is wearing both a helmet and an oxygen mask.”

Well, that was kind of a relief. Her appearance would depend on what century the human had traveled from, but as far as Karriak-Sektannen knew they’d remained humanoid in shape for many millennia. With a bit of luck she would have a similar shape to his own.

He shook his head sharply. No, that wouldn’t be luck. That would be torture.

He needed to get this female back to wherever she came from, pronto!

* * * *

The man who approached her was huge. She’d estimated his size at taller than six feet, but as he stepped closer she’d realized he was closer to seven. The truly frightening part was that he was built in proportion. He was tall and muscular and from a distance would have passed for many of the pilots and mechanical engineers she’d worked with over the years, but up close he was gigantic.

He stared at her as he spoke, but he didn’t seem to be addressing her. Rather, he appeared to be talking into some sort of wireless communication. Amanda thought she could hear the replies of a disembodied voice, yet with the helmet on it was hard to discern actual words.

Loath to reveal the fact that she was female, Amanda sat and watched as the man seemed to argue with whomever he was speaking. He stepped closer, reaching out to touch the top of her helmet as if he’d never seen one before.

The disembodied voice started speaking more loudly, the words seeming a little more familiar than they did moments ago. She sat up a little straighter when she thought she’d recognized several words typically used as greetings in Spanish, French, and Chinese.

“Welcome,” the voice finally said after many, many languages she assumed it had been trying. “Please do not be afraid. We mean you no harm.”

“Then why did you abduct me?” she muttered to herself.

“Ah,” the voice said, “English. What dialect do you prefer?”

“Dialect?” She hadn’t really given much thought to the English language having different dialects, but she supposed that different countries would use the same words in different ways.

“More specifically, what dialect from what century?” the voice asked in a helpful tone.

“Century?” she asked weakly as the plots for every low-budget sci-fi movie she’d ever watched flitted through her mind.

“Ah,” the disembodied voice said, “so I take it your little journey through time was not planned?”

“Time?” she asked again, just as weakly. Surely this was some alpha asshole playing games with the poor-little-lady-pretending-to-be-an-astronaut.
Sheesh
. She didn’t recognize the voice or the man standing in front of her, but it seemed the instinct to belittle women was planetwide. “What the fuck do you want? Why did you hijack my ship?”