Amaranth (4 page)

“Well ... his name’s Andrew. And you’re right. It
is
bad. The truth is, he’s been very” -- a lump rose
in my throat -- “verbally abusive.” I compulsively looked down, blowing my
cover, completely committing a liar’s suicide. “I didn’t want to tell you about
it because I’m embarrassed, okay? I can’t believe I even put up with it again.
But I had a good reason for not telling you. I knew you’d try to talk sense
into me. At the time, I wasn’t ready for that. I just wanted to be with him,
jerk or not.”

I looked up as she nodded again, then cocked her head to the
side as she looked down at her feet, kicked a pebble to the side of the road.
“Awfully hot to be wearing a long-sleeved shirt today, isn’t it? A
one-hundred-degree heat index, and you wear a flannel shirt to pick me up this
morning?”

One hot tear slid down my cheek and I nodded, knowing I
didn’t need words to confirm her suspicions.

She stepped closer. “How bad is it? What did he
do
to you? How long has this been going on?”

“A while,” I murmured, another tear rolling down my face. I
couldn’t hold it in anymore.

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me like a rag doll, then
moved her hands down to my elbows and yanked one sleeve all the way up my arm.
I winced.

“We need to call the police,” she babbled, “they need to
see....” She grabbed the other sleeve and yanked it up. “What did that monster
do
to you? I’ll kill him, I swear I will! We need to
go to the police, right
now
. You can’t let him
get away with this.”

She began to shake me again, as if trying to wake me from a
deep sleep, but I pulled away. “Look Audrey, I know. That’s what I need to tell
you. You have to listen to me. I know I let him do this, and I need to go to
the police. But I just realized it yesterday. That I’m strong enough now. He
had me brainwashed for a little while there, but I’ve snapped out of it, I
promise.”

“But how do you know--?”

“He came to my job yesterday. I completely lost it. I know I
have to end this now.” I swallowed, rushing to catch my breath so I could
continue. To my surprise, she waited for me. “I was afraid of what he’d do if
he ever came after me. Once I broke up with him, let alone if I went to the
police. Not to mention what I would even
tell
the police. It doesn’t look good when you
let
someone do this to you for a year and not say anything about it. I enabled him.
It takes two, that’s what they’ll think. I have a lot of odds against me.” I
threw my hands up in the air, exasperated, yet it felt so liberating to let the
truth pour out.

She shook her head. “I get that, Camille. But this happens
to plenty of people, and there are ways out, ways to handle this. Fortunately,
it’s not like you’re married to the guy.”

I breathed out a sigh, wiped my face on my sleeve. “Yeah, I
know. The thing is ... I’ve tried to break up with him before, and until
yesterday, when he came to my job, I hadn’t seen him in over a week.”

“He came to your job? You said you lost it. What made you
change your mind to finally do something about it?”

“I don’t know, really. I was just so disappointed. I guess I
thought he really let me break up with him this time. Then here he shows up at
my job, telling me he’s picking me up next weekend, and I just cracked.” The
humid heat was smothering me; I shrugged off the flannel shirt and rubbed my
upper arms, examining the black and blue marks sprawled across them. “Him
showing his face yesterday was some kind of wakeup call. I just hate that it
happened the day before you came.”

Her eyes sparked with hope. “You weren’t lying when you said
you’ve snapped out of it. Thank God, the real Camille is still in there, I can
tell.” Her eyes appraised me. She gently rubbed one of the bruises. “Do they
hurt badly?”

“They’re okay.”

Her nostrils flared and she closed her eyes, pressed her
fingers against her temples. “We have to turn him in
now
.
Before he shows his face at the house. I can’t be held responsible for what I’d
do to him.”

I put up my hand to stop her from saying anything more.
“He’s more of a threat to you than you’d be to him, Audrey.” I gestured to my
arm. “He’s dangerous when he wants to be.”

And then I explained my plan, the one I rehearsed in my head
on the way to pick her up this morning.

Horror washed over her face. “Absolutely not, I--”

“He won’t come around while you’re here,” I said quickly. “I
don’t think, anyway. We can enjoy these two weeks together, and you can trust
me to call the police after you leave.”

“There is no way in hell I’m going to get on that plane and
leave you here with him, are you crazy...?”

My hope that she would remain calm ended. She started
yelling like she was talking to an inanimate object who couldn’t understand
her. From there, we went around in circles while full darkness fell around us.
With us both exhausted, we came to a compromise: To keep from ruining the next
two weeks, she would let me wait until she left to go to the police.

“But I
cannot
sit here while
you go out with him,” she added. “You cancel the date. If he shows up anyway,
I’ll be here.”

I feared saying no to him would put Audrey in danger,
especially since I had no guarantee the protection spell would work. I said,
“He’s so unpredictable, I doubt the date will even happen. But if I can’t
cancel it, if he shows up--”

“Nope. That’s part of my compromise. Tell him you won’t go
out with him and
stick with it
, and I won’t
bother you the rest of the time I’m here about going to the police. If he shows
up angry, then
I’ll
call the cops. I’ll be a
witness that way. He’ll be turned in, and you’ll have no date to worry about.”

And that was that. She refused to let me go on the date, if
it happened, to protect her. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been
holding. “Agreed.”

“Okay. Let’s get back to the house. It’s so dark out here I
can barely see a thing,” she locked arms with me to walk toward the house, “and
I’m
creeped
out now, talking about this guy. It’s
going to be all right, Cam. Admitting you have a problem is the first step,
remember?” With a tight smile, she nudged me into a walk.

“I think I’m past the first step, aren’t I?” I said. “I’m
about to kick him to the curb and ban him from my life.”

Her face grew serious again. “He’s never going to put his
hands on you again. We’ll make sure of that. You’ll pick up right where you
left off when you moved here. A little banged up, some wounds to heal. No pun
intended. Although I still can’t believe I’m agreeing to wait.”

“It’s not your burden to bear, Audrey,” I said. “It’s my
problem. I got myself into it and I’d like to get myself out of it. Preferably
not while you’re here on vacation.”

“
Please.
My vacation is
hardly priority at the moment. I’m just glad I came when I did. I can’t imagine
if ...” She glanced at me and I nodded to show her I understood.

Another good part of living in the country is being able to
really
see
the night sky. I looked up to a
panorama of winking crystal stars against the inky-black backdrop. Despite her
worries about me, Audrey’s words encouraged me, confirming that yesterday’s
epiphany still applied today. Talking about it with her after making the
decision to rid myself of this toxic relationship for good was the beginning.

I gave her arm a squeeze as we approached my front door.
“Seriously, thank you for doing this. For your help.” I unlocked the door and
held it open, to let her in first. But she didn’t go inside.

“I know you’re completely blind to it,” she said, “but
believe me when I say you don’t need anyone to help you. You don’t know your
own strength, Cam. Truth is, you would’ve made it out of this mess with or
without me here, or anyone else. And that absolutely astounds me.” She winked.
“I admire you, Camille Hart. I always have.”

For what I’d done to deserve an angel like this, I hadn’t
the faintest idea. Tonight, the stars could surely feel my heart radiating in
gratitude. But I also knew that her faith in me alone might not be enough to
protect us both. We headed inside and I excused myself to the bathroom, where
my stash of Hoodoo supplies waited.

I’m sure I looked like a madwoman, speeding into the
bookstore parking lot twenty minutes late, slamming on my brakes while I did a
check in the rearview mirror to make sure I’d brushed my hair well enough.
Audrey and I ended up talking and intermittently watching chick flicks until
almost three this morning. I dashed inside, expecting Carol to sing her typical
morning lecture to me, throwing in a disciplinary tirade as well. Fortunately
the store was pretty empty, with the exception of two teen girls hanging out in
the teenybopper magazine section, pining over the latest celebrity heartthrob,
some
Pattinson
guy. I couldn’t keep up with all of
the new actors. The only one I ever paid any attention to was Johnny
Depp
. But apparently, this
Pattinson
guy was all the rage.

I flew behind the counter to clock in, and to my delight,
Carol looked at me sweetly and said, “How are you feeling this morning,
Camille? Don’t worry about being late this morning, you’re normally very
punctual. Please just try and stay a little late today to pick up the slack,
all right?”

“Um ... sure, okay, no problem,” I replied. Maybe the spell
I tried last night protected me in more ways than one. “I’m doing okay, thanks
for asking. Sorry I’m late.”

“And oh, make sure the new release table is replenished. You
saw how fast they were selling yesterday, my goodness. After that, just work on
organizing the fiction sections, as usual.”

She started to head toward the self-help section, but
stopped, swung around and headed back to the counter. She grabbed a stack of
books and shuffled them across the counter toward me. “
Ooops
, almost forgot. Here are a few returns
you can put back.” Smiling, she adjusted her obnoxious glasses and moseyed on
over to the self-help section, humming some Mary
Poppins
song along the way. It was
way
too early for
that.

I glanced at my watch while I walked from aisle to aisle,
placing books in their proper places. Each time I placed one on a shelf, I
found myself longing for the workday to be over. I didn’t regret the late
night, but my mind and body were. But as long as there was no sign of Andrew,
that was all that mattered today. Holding the last returned book, I went onto
tiptoe for the tallest row on the shelf. My short stature wasn’t cooperating. I
wandered around the rows of books, peeking through them, looking for our
stepladder, but didn’t see it. I did see Gina at the counter. “Gina, seen our
ladder this morning?” I called out.

“Nope, try the back,” she answered, sounding as tired as I
felt.

I headed toward the back of the store, feeling my feet grow
heavier on the way to the last aisle before the stockroom entrance. The lack of
customers and soft elevator music weren’t helping my effort to stay awake.
While I’m in the back, maybe I’ll throw some coffee on. Yes.
Caffeine is
goooood
--

The black flash came into my side vision, moving swiftly
toward the aisle before it. I watched the blur blow past the next few shelves,
on its way toward the front of the store. I spun around, scanned the trail the
blur had left behind while
goosebumps
sprang up on
the back of my neck. In confusion, I wandered past the next three aisles,
peering down each one, searching for the figure in black. I saw nothing.

Biting my lip, I gently pressed one of my bruises, winced.
Definitely awake, absolutely not hallucinating.

A surge of panic hit me as the realization did. Was he here
again? Didn’t the spell have any effect at all? Considering his narcissistic
persona, it wouldn’t surprise me if he dropped in for another visit. Anything
to make himself feel more powerful.

Feeling paranoia deepen, I stormed past each aisle,
investigating each one again. If he
were
here,
I’d confront him. As much as I wanted to avoid any conflict with him until
Audrey left, I couldn’t allow him to just come to my job and spy on me. Plus,
if this round of Hoodoo didn’t work, Vivienne and I were going to have a chat.

I found no one in the rows. The terror started to subside,
my newfound strength replacing it. I figured if he was here, maybe Carol saw
him come in and would have checked on me, remaining loyal to her intrusive
nature.

At the front of the store, the pining teenagers were ready
to purchase their gossip magazines. Whispering and smiling giddily to one
another, they
peeked
at the shelf next to me, near
the front counter where I now stood. I slowly ducked my head around the corner
of the shelf in question to see they’d been staring at a man in black. He
sported a vintage Led Zeppelin t-shirt over gray-washed jeans, worn
combat-style boots on his feet. He stood quietly, flipping through a paperback.
I pulled my head back a little, standing parallel to the side of the shelf wall
to stay out of sight, but kept my gaze on him.
Tall,
dark and handsome. No wonder the teenyboppers can’t stop gawking.
But it
was more than his appearance. There was some sort of unearthly aura around him,
a physical glow that the fluorescent lights above the row couldn’t explain.

It wasn’t Andrew though, and I felt my pulse resume a normal
beat at the realization. I stared at him another minute, trying to make sense
of my fascination with him aside from his obvious good looks. While he scanned
the shelf in front of him, he stopped to skim through a few more pages of his
book. There was something engaging about his sharp, inquisitive movements, so
quiet, so ... ethereal. Sleep deprivation making me more sensitive, possibly.
But the dark figure somehow lit up the old shabby bookstore, illuminating the
worn cherry wood bookshelves and the grotesque green carpet that looked even
more pathetic under the delicate glow. There was also something oddly familiar
about him, but I was certain I’d never forget someone as stunning as he was. He
didn’t
look
like everyone else.