Amber Brown Is Feeling Blue (6 page)

She’s said that twice. I bet my father said that she did plan to do it, to cause trouble. I know she didn’t. I was there.

Shaking her head, she says, “This is so like your father. He always waited ’til the last minute to make arrangements. It made me nuts then. It makes me nuts now. To say the least, it is SO annoying.”

I don’t want them to be mad at each other, to blame each other.

She pats my head. “Oh, honey, what do you want to do for Thanksgiving? Max and I have been talking, and we’ve decided that whatever you want to do, we’ll go along with it. If you want us to cancel the trip, we will. If you want to stay with your father, we’ll try to understand. If you want to
go to Walla Walla, we will try to work that out.”

I don’t know what to do.

Why do I have to make the decision?

She says, “Your father and I have talked. He said that whatever you decide, he’ll go along with…. He’ll be very disappointed and sad, but he’ll go along with it.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

Mom looks at me. “It’s a tough decision, I know. That’s why we’ve all decided to wait until your father comes back. Then you and he can talk … and you and I can talk … and then you and I and your father can all talk together.”

That’s going to be a lot of talking…. I don’t know what’s going to be said, but I do know that I’m the one who’s got to make the decision.

I, Amber Brown, just don’t know what to do.

Brandi’s on her way.

We’re not going to “paint the town red,” but we are going to paint our fingernails all different colors.

We’re going to Kelly Green’s to do this.

I, Amber Brown, think that Kelly Green is terrific. She didn’t even get mad at me when she got back after her “first day of school barf beginning,” when all the kids teased her about turning green and some of the boys sang “Happy Barfday to You.”

I, Amber Brown, think that while Kelly
Green is so nice, I, Amber Brown, was not so nice to her. It was my fault that Hal called her Kelly Greenbarf. Now some of the boys are calling her KGB, for Kelly Greenbarf.

I would feel totally bad and totally guilty about the way she’s being teased about her barfday if I didn’t really have so much on my mind.

I look down at my “Countdown to Dad” book, which I think should have been named “Countdown to Amber Brown’s Nervous Breakdown.”

Only four more days until my dad comes back, and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

The doorbell rings.

“Amber, Brandi’s here,” my mother calls up the steps.

“Come on up,” I yell.

Brandi rushes in. “Are you ready to go to Kelly’s?”

Shaking my head, I sit down on the bed.

“Maybe I shouldn’t go. I have to think about what I’m going to do.”

Brandi sits down on the bed next to me. “Amber Marie Brown, you’ve done nothing but think about what to do. You’re not having fun anymore. You’re not fun anymore. Come on. We’re going to have a great time. Kelly’s bought all sorts of supplies …. polish, rhinestones, sparkles, glitter.”

I look at Brandi. “Brandi Bonnie Colwin, I just don’t know.”

Tossing one of my stuffed animals at me, Brandi says, “Come on, Amber. You’re going with me. You can’t stay home all day and think about your problems.”

“I guess I should go to Kelly’s and think about my problems there.” I grin and toss one of my stuffed animals at Brandi.

“Yes.” Brandi stands up. “Let’s go.”

I sigh and get up. “Oh, all right. Wagons Ho.”

“Wagons Ho” is something that Aunt Pam says when it’s time to go somewhere. Saying that makes me think about the phone talk we had when I called her to beg her to take me for Thanksgiving. Even though she wouldn’t “rescue” me, she said that I should remember that there is no one right or wrong answer to making the choice. She also said that it was a really tough situation to be in.

I’m really glad that she told me that.

“Get your nail polish.” Brandi tugs at my arm. “Kelly is waiting.”

Going over to my dresser, I go into the top drawer, and pull out my one nail polish.

It’s light pink. It’s “Barbie.” It’s all dried out. It was a gift from Tiffani Shroeder for my fifth birthday.

I, Amber Brown, don’t usually wear
makeup unless it is for Halloween or unless it’s for a special occasion, like when I went to a slumber party and we all made ourselves up.

“Yuck. Yuck. Yuckoid. Is that all you have?” Brandi asks.

I grin. “Brenda … the Amber-sitter … to the rescue. Look at what she loaned me.”

I pull a little paper bag out of the bureau and empty the contents.

“Wow. That’s awesome.” Brandi looks through them. “Color Me Cantaloupe. Tangerine. Melon. Candy Apple Red…. Does Brenda put these on her nails, or does she eat them?”

“Silly,” I say, “of course she doesn’t eat them.”

Brandi grins at me. “But they’re all named food colors.”

I grin back. “But they’re liquid. She drinks them.”

“Yag.” Brandi clutches her throat.

We both pretend to drink from the bottles.

Then we pretend to choke.

And then we fall down on the floor.

The phone rings.

I, Amber Brown, used to like it when the phone rang …. especially if it was a call for me.

Now I hate it.

I’m always afraid that it’s my dad or Max …. and that they are going to want to talk to me. They don’t even mention Thanksgiving. They are just so nice that it makes me feel bad, because I know that one of them is going to feel bad when I make my choice.

All of this niceness is driving me crazy.

“Amber, it’s for you,” my mother calls up.

I know that Mom is going to feel bad if I don’t choose her and Max.

“It’s Kelly,” she says.

I let out my breath.

It was almost as if I had stopped breathing for a second …. and that wasn’t because I was choking from pretend-drinking the nail polish.

I pick up the phone.

“Where are you?” Kelly asks, and then giggles. “Well, actually, now I know WHERE you are …. THERE ….. but why aren’t you WHERE you are supposed to be …. HERE?”

I say, “It’s my fault. We’ll be there soon.”

I, Amber Brown, am starting to feel guilty that I made us late for going over to Kelly’s.

I, Amber Brown, am feeling guilty a lot lately.

It should be a nail polish color …. Amber Brown Gilt.

We rush downstairs.

Since we are so late, my mom says, “I’ll drive you over to Kelly’s.”

I know that my mom is being nice to do that.

I also know that she likes to see where I’m going to be when she doesn’t know the people I’m going to visit.

I think that’s a Mom kind of thing to do.

I wonder what my dad’s going to be like when he gets back.

I wonder if he’ll check everything out the way Mom does.

When they were married, Mom always did those things.

I wish I didn’t keep thinking about all of this.

I wish I could just think of the fun that I’m having with Brandi and the fun that I think we’re going to have at Kelly Green’s, unless Kelly is going to do something to get back at me for telling everyone that she barfed.

I, Amber Brown, am turning into a major worrier.

I, Amber Brown, have a lot to worry about.

I, Amber Brown, wonder if Kelly has a nail polish named Kelly Greenbarf.

I, Amber Brown, am going to try to have fun when we get to Kelly’s.