Amelia's Journey (22 page)

Although he had wanted to stay for Amelia, he now questioned that decision. He did want to be with her, but the frowns and scowls from her father didn't indicate any acceptance of Ben on Mr. Carlyle's part. What could he say to the man to help him understand how much he loved Amelia?

His head nodded, and his eyes wanted to close. In that state he saw Amelia in the house he would build. She hung clothes on the line, and a child ran through the sheets flapping in the wind. A basket beside her held a baby sitting up and clapping its hands at the antics of the other child. His chin flopped to his chest, and Bed sat up with a jerk. He blinked his eyes rapidly to ward off sleepiness.

He stood up and shook his head and shoulders. A noise from down the hall caused him to turn around. Amelia and her parents hurried toward him. From the joy in their faces, they must have good news.

Amelia reached him first. “Amanda's sleeping peacefully now. The doctor said Charles could stay with her tonight, and she can go home Tuesday. Isn't that wonderful?”

“Yes, it is. Are you going to stay?”

Mr. Carlyle shook his head. “No, it's time for us to go home and get some sleep. It's well after one, and we will want to come back in the morning.”

Mrs. Carlyle's eyes opened wide as though she'd just thought of something. Amelia gasped. “Oh my, it's New Year's Day, and we missed the coming of the new year.”

Her mother patted Amelia's arm. “That we did, but it doesn't matter now. Amanda is all right, so we can go home.” She glanced at Ben. “I take it you're going with us?”

“Yes, ma'am, if it's not too inconvenient.” Ben swallowed hard. What if Mr. Carlyle objected? It was a long walk in the cold to his grandmother's house, and he didn't relish the idea of doing it in the middle of the night.

Mr. Carlyle retrieved his coat and handed his wife's coat to her. “I think it's the least we can do for your coming and staying so long. We've been up this long, so another fifteen minutes or so won't hurt us.” He pushed his arms into the sleeves of his coat then picked up his hat. “I'll go find Toby and the carriage. Meet me out front.”

With that he hurried down the hall toward the main entrance. Ben helped Mrs. Carlyle with her coat while Amelia tied her cloak around her neck. He escorted the two ladies out to the street just as Toby drove up with the carriage. Mr. Carlyle assisted his wife and Ben lifted Amelia up.

Once they were settled, the carriage began to move, its wheels rattling on the cobblestone streets, disturbing the quiet of the early morning hour. No one said anything, and Ben's mouth became dry as a parched prairie in a drought. He tried to moisten his lips but couldn't even raise enough spit for that. Only his hands were damp as if he'd just washed them.

Mr. Carlyle leaned forward in his seat a bit as the carriage swayed and turned a corner. “Your father tells me that he's making you a partner in the ranch when you turn twenty this year.”

Ben's heart jumped, but his muddled brain righted itself in order to answer. “That's right, sir. I'll get my share just like Gideon and Billy will when their time comes.” Ben rubbed his palms against his thighs and wished for a sip of water.

“I see, and how do you like ranching?”

Mr. Carlyle studied Ben as though he was a specimen in a science lab. He sent a prayer asking for guidance as to what to answer. “I thoroughly enjoy working with my father. Being out on the wide open range gives me the opportunity to see all of God's work in nature.”

“Isn't that dangerous work? I mean, being around so many cows and the danger of a stampede.”

“We don't have many stampedes. In fact, I don't recall but one since I started working with the herds.” The one he did remember was one of the worst things he'd seen in his life. The thundering hooves and the dust that blinded him so he couldn't see anything created a lasting memory. Thankfully his horse had known just what to do and kept Ben from being injured.

“I still say it's dangerous work. How far are you from the town…Sweetwater Springs, isn't it?”

“Yes, sir. It takes us about half an hour to reach church on Sunday mornings. We live on the side of the ranch closest to town.” Why was he asking so many questions? Surely he and Pa had discussed the ranch more than once in their time together. If he was trying to catch Ben unawares and saying something wrong, he'd sure picked a strange time to do it.

“Have you considered coming back here and working with your uncles in carrying on your grandfather's business?”

Ben gulped. Come back to Boston? That had never entered his mind. “No, sir, I have a number of responsibilities on the ranch, and I want to help Pa.”

“I see.” He said nothing for a moment then narrowed his eyes as though he'd made a decision. “Your parents have told us a great deal about the ranch and, as a matter of fact, have invited us to come for a visit in April.”

Amelia stiffened beside him, and her arm brushed against his. Both of them had hoped this would happen but had heard no discussion of it. Pa had been busier than he thought, or maybe it had been Ma. Whoever had done the asking didn't matter, but what Mr. Carlyle planned to do did.

“That's a wonderful idea, Papa. May we go?” Amelia tried to keep the excitement from her voice, but it didn't fool her father.

“Well, your mother and I will have to discuss it. We don't know how Amanda will fare in the coming weeks, so we'll wait and see.”

Not very encouraging, but at least he hadn't dismissed the idea completely. That gave Ben hope that a visit would be forthcoming.

The carriage stopped, and Ben stepped down. “I appreciate the ride home, Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle. I pray Amanda will be better soon and able to go home.”

Mr. Carlyle nodded his head. “Thank you, son. Give our regards to your parents. Tell your father I will let him know about our decision to visit in a month or so.” With that he signaled the driver, and the carriage took off into the night.

Ben shivered despite his heavy coat. Such a strange way to begin a new year, but if it had softened Mr. Carlyle's attitude, every minute had been worth the time. He turned and trudged up the steps, his body weary and cold. Funny, with Amelia beside him, he'd been quite warm, but now alone, he felt the icy air bite into the bare skin of his face as he fumbled with the key in the lock.

One thing for sure, if the Carlyles did come for a visit, he'd have to get busy with those plans for the house so he'd have it ready to show Amelia in the spring.

Chapter 21

O
n Tuesday, Mama and Papa planned to go back to the hospital before noon to help Charles take Amanda home. Monday had passed in a blur after the frantic efforts with Amanda and the long hours at the hospital Sunday night. After wrestling with the bed-sheets and quilts to get warm and settle down, Amelia had finally slept as streaks of gray lightened the sky and brought in the first day of the year.

Amelia had then slept most of the day, exhausted from the emotions and turmoil of her sister's ordeal as well as the sleepless night. Even now, a full day later, she eyed the bed with a notion to crawl back beneath the covers.

The only bright spots had been Amanda's prognosis for full recovery and Ben's presence at the hospital. Her cheeks grew warm when she remembered their conversation and her appearance. What must he think of her in her plain skirt and shirtwaist? And her talk about babies and pregnancies was no topic for an unmarried woman to be speaking of to a man.

Still, her insides warmed because he had cared enough to rush to the hospital to be there with her and to stay until the end. Papa had not said anything else about the carriage ride home or the fact that she and Ben had been close all during the hours at the hospital. Her hopes that he would be less critical of her relationship with Ben dimmed the longer Papa kept silent. However, that also might be a good thing. If Papa's objections were still strong, he would have let that be known either at dinner last evening or today at breakfast.

Amelia sat at her dressing table now brushing her hair and wishing she could say good-bye to Ben today. The train for St. Louis would leave at two this afternoon, and Ben would be on it with his mother and his brothers and sister. She'd miss him dreadfully.

Someone knocked on her bedroom door. Mama's voice followed. “Amelia, may I come in?”

Amelia dropped her brush on the table and hurried to open the door. “Of course, Mama, you're always welcome.”

Mama hugged her and kissed her cheek. “You've been such a blessing these past few days. But there are some things I need to discuss with you.” She grasped Amelia's hand. “Come, let's sit over here by the window.”

Amelia knit her brow. Had Amanda relapsed? Curiosity burned a hole in her soul. Mama looked so serious. She sat down and nodded toward the other chair for Amelia to sit. The sun sent its golden rays through the window but did little for the chill surrounding Amelia's heart.

“What is it, Mama? Did something happen to Amanda?” She sat on the edge of her chair, her hands clasped together to still their shaking.

Mama reached over and covered Amelia's hands with hers. “No, dear, Amanda is fine and still going home today. What I have to discuss concerns what happened to her.”

Amelia's body stiffened. Not quite ready to hear about such things, she caught her breath and said nothing. Couldn't this wait until some other time?

“I know this is a delicate topic, but in light of the fact that you are now of marrying age, you need to be told. Haven't you ever wondered why you have only Amanda for a sister and not several others?”

Her statement brought a smile to Amelia's face. “Yes, I have. I would have enjoyed a larger family.”

Mama bit her lip, and her eyes grew moist. “I would have too. Before Amanda, I lost two babies, just like she did. And you and Amanda were too young to remember, but a baby boy also died at birth when you were two.”

Amelia's heart lurched. Three babies had died, and Mama never said anything about it. How that must have hurt her all these years when her close friends had more children. Her heart ached for her mother and the pain she must have suffered. “I'm so sorry, Mama. I had no idea. Why didn't you ever tell us?”

A cloud formed over her mother's eyes. “I didn't want to talk about it, but of course I did explain it to Amanda before she married Charles, and after what has happened with her, I knew I must tell you too.

“You see, the Harrelson women have always had difficulty in childbirth. Something in our bodies doesn't want us to have babies, and something goes wrong either in the early stages like Amanda, or at birth like your brother.”

A lump formed in Amelia's throat, and no amount of swallowing made it disappear. How hard that must have been for Mama, who was an only child, and now Amelia understood why. “Will Amanda be able to have another baby?”

“The doctor said they could try again, but it would be risky. She'd have to be under the doctor's care as soon as she suspects a baby is on the way.”

Amelia leaned back against the chair. What did this mean for her? Would she have the same trouble as Mama and Amanda? The visions she'd had of children filling her home melted away like the icicles now dripping outside her window. She turned her face toward the warm sun and let the tears now forming spill over and slide down her cheeks.

Mama's hand squeezed hers. “I know this is difficult for you to hear, but since you're so attracted to Benjamin, I had to let you know what to expect. I imagine you will have children, but just not as many as you might have hoped for.”

Amelia and Amanda had learned about the relationship between a husband and wife when they had their sixteenth birthdays, but this information had been withheld. When had Mama planned to tell her? After she became engaged to a young man who expected a large family? Ben. She had to tell him. He had four brothers and sisters. Wouldn't he expect to have a large family himself?

Mama patted her hand then stood. “It's a lot to take in, so I'll leave you alone.” She headed for the door, but paused before she closed it behind her. “Change into something nice, dear. We have a surprise for you after we eat. Lettie said dinner will be ready in half an hour.” With that she was gone.

A surprise? Half an hour to get dressed? She grabbed a handkerchief from her dressing table and dabbed it at the dampness on her cheeks. Surely it couldn't be Philip Barlow coming to call on her. She had half a mind not to change into a nicer dress or put up her hair. If he saw her like this, he might lose interest.

With a sigh, she pushed up from the chair and headed for the wardrobe to select something to wear. After she donned a two-piece green wool garment with a smaller bustle, she decided not to pile all her hair on top of her head. Instead, she brushed it back, leaving just a fringe across the forehead, and secured it with a tortoise shell clasp at the back of her neck. Mama may not approve, but there was no time for anything more elaborate.

All through the meal, curiosity ate at her like a mouse nibbling cheese, but neither Mama nor Papa would answer her questions. Lettie brought in the dessert, and when she set the bowl of custard on the table, she grinned and winked at Amelia. Now what in the world did that mean?

Voices sounded in the hall. Amelia's heart jumped, and she almost choked on a bite of custard. That was Mary Beth's voice. What was she doing here? She pushed back from the table and noticed the smile on Mama's face. What was going on?

She rushed to greet Mary Beth but stopped short when Ben's smiling face greeted her. “What…how…oh, my!”

Mary Beth hugged her. “This is your surprise. I'm taking you with us to say good-bye to the family.”

Amelia whirled around to face her parents. Mama smiled and nodded. “Yes, it's your surprise. Now get your cloak; you don't want to make them late.”