America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 4: Demilitarized Zone (4 page)

The spider commander thought this new
information to be plausible, and retracted his accusations against
the Legion. He did not even bother to send a report to the governor
or to the general staff. This was a local matter than need not
concern them. The spider commander swore vengeance on the New
Memphis Mafioso responsible for this latest outrage. The human
pestilence Mafioso that did this were going to get whacked.

* * * * *

NEWS RELEASE

NEW MEMPHIS: Insurgents set off a truck bomb
today, destroying a brewery belonging to reputed Mafioso kingpin
Rudy “Johnny Walker” Juardo. A note left at a local New Memphis
radio station stated the blast was part of the ongoing insurgency
campaign to hit human pestilence economic targets. This is
newsworthy because it indicates a shift in tactics. The insurgents
are no longer restricting themselves to attacking McDonald’s,
Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Taco Bell. General Kalipetsis called
the attack barbarous, and vowed he would not rest until the
culprits were hanged. Several leads in the case are being pursued,
including saliva DNA collected from the envelope that contained the
note. The DNA is being checked against both the Earth and
Arthropodan databases. Local bar patrons surveyed were in agreement
that no punishment could be too harsh for these evildoers.

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Chapter 5

Officially, the Arthropodan Empire did not
support the insurgency against the Legion. The latest peace treaty
dividing New Colorado included a pact to work together against
terrorism. This was deemed in the interests of the Empire because
some insurgents wanted independence from both Arthropoda and Old
Earth. That did not mean, however, that Arthropoda did not
sympathize with the insurgents in regard to certain border
disputes. For example, New Memphis was a human pestilence enclave
hundreds of miles up river from the DMZ. The Legion had refused to
leave this mixed-species city at the end of the last round of
fighting. To expedite the peace process, the human pestilence was
allowed to keep New Memphis, but Arthropoda considered that
abomination to be temporary at best.

When the Legion submitted a DNA sample from
the letter claiming spider responsibility for the New Memphis
terrorist bombing, Arthropodan Military Intelligence routinely
checked the sample against their database. When the sample matched
a local commander in New Gobi, it caused outrage. When Military
Intelligence realized this commander was related to the Emperor, it
caused alarm. When the governor was told the local commander was
the same incompetent commander he had exiled to the New Gobi
Desert, he was angry. The governor sent his military intelligence
officer to New Gobi to handle the matter personally and
discretely.

The DNA information was not given to the
Legion, and already General Kalipetsis was accusing the governor of
not being cooperative.

To the spider military intelligence officer,
it seemed like New Gobi was getting more than its share of
attention lately. The military buildup there was still
unexplainable. Satellite photos showed extensive Legion
construction projects, and the Highway to Nowhere was almost
complete. Also, the posting of that human pestilence Major
Czerinski was a sure sign of trouble. A recent explosion on the
Arthropodan side of the border, also detected by satellite, was
being dismissed by the local commander as a sewer gas incident.
This was the same commander whose DNA matched the New Memphis
investigation, and his explanation was an obvious lie. The time had
come for the military intelligence officer to see for himself what
the hell was going on in New Gobi. If the local commander needed to
be shot, the military intelligence officer would gladly do that
himself, too.

A dust storm swept through New Gobi. It was
not an uncommon event. However, this dust storm had uncovered
something unusual. A spider patrol brought in five legion
parachutes from just outside the camp perimeter. The implication
was obvious. Perhaps the spider commander had made a mistake about
suspecting New Memphis Mafiosi of bombing his distilling operation.
Maybe it was Czerinski and the Legion after all. Not that he could
do anything about it now. A surprise inspection by the planetary
military intelligence officer was putting all projects on hold. The
commander waited at the airstrip to greet the military intelligence
officer and give him a short tour of Hell (New Gobi). They saluted
and shook claws at the tarmac.

“Welcome to New Gobi,” said the spider
commander. “Stay on the paved surface. Poisonous Gila monsters lurk
under the soft sand. If you step on them, they will grip you in
their jaws and not let go. Death will surely follow.”

“Oh?” said the military intelligence officer,
alarmed and glancing about at the sandy New Gobi Desert that
extended for miles. “We do not have such creatures in the
North.”

“Gila monsters are just one of many things
you have to get used to in New Gobi,” said the commander, enjoying
his little lie. He could smell the discomfort and fear of the
military intelligence officer. “Will you be staying long?”

“I hope not. I am here to talk to you about
why you bombed a brewery in New Memphis. Also, I want an update on
the military situation here in New Gobi. Why is the Legion sending
its First Division to New Gobi?”

“Legion commandos blew up a supply tent. At
first I thought it was a sewer gas explosion. But today we found
the commandos’ parachutes. I believe the matter is connected to a
New Memphis Mafia labor dispute. Rather than attacking the Legion
and risking a military escalation, I hit the Mafia brewery in New
Memphis.”

“You lie poorly,” accused the military
intelligence officer. “You are under arrest for insubordination and
treason.”

The commander drew his pistol and shot the
military intelligence officer and his two aides. He ordered all
three buried in the desert, along with the Legion parachutes. Now
the spider commander could turn his attention to Major Czerinski
and the Legion.

* * * * *

The grand opening of Walmart came off on
schedule. In accordance with Walmart’s DMZ economic plan, the store
opened to customers on both sides of the border. Unlike other
Walmart stores, this one had a Military Demarcation Line (MDL)
painted on the floor through the center of the store. Customers
were instructed not to pass across the MDL without a visa, under
penalty of being shot. Spider border guards patrolled the MDL,
particularly watchful of shoppers straying across the line.

Thousands of tourists were attracted by what
was soon called the Cold War Walmart. Tourists were warned that the
stern spider guards had no sense of humor, and to not harass them.
These were not the Queen’s Foot Guards at Buckingham Palace that
everyone made faces at. Several times Walmart was cleared of
customers when spider guards fired warning shots into the ceiling
because of teenagers giving them the one-fingered salute.

Walmart erected a 328-foot flagpole on the
American side. It flew a large star-swirl-and-stripes Galactic
American flag. Not to be outdone, the spider commander erected a
525-foot flagpole on the Arthropodan side. This huge Arthropodan
flag, an eight-point star on a green background, was a wonder to
behold, weighing 595 pounds. I made inquiries as to whether the
spider flag and pole could withstand a New Gobi dust storm. I was
told yes, but it was doubtful the flag would survive in a
rainstorm. The added weight to the flag caused by moisture would
surely topple the entire structure. I diligently checked weather
reports every day, hoping for rain. In the desert, no such
luck.

I sensed the spider commander continued to be
a bit testy about his still being blown up. Border guards were rude
and anxious to provoke incidents. I scheduled a face-to-face
meeting between the spider commander and myself for next week. I
hoped there would be no incidents between now and then. The skies
were still mostly clear, but I could see a few puffs of moisture
over the distant mountains. I remained hopeful, despite historical
rainfall levels of zero to less than an inch per year.

In spite of tension along the border, Guido
seemed to get along just fine with the lower ranking spider guards.
I suspect he was developing his usual black-market contacts. The
spider team leaders were another matter. The spiders planted a
large fruit tree at Guido’s border crossing, next to the MDL. Guido
did not mind the fruit tree because it provided shade from the
oppressive sun’s heat. But part of the tree extended across the MDL
to the Legion side, obscuring Guido’s view of oncoming traffic. To
solve this minor problem, Guido pruned the tree with makeshift
hedge clippers. As always, Guido’s monitor dragon Spot came along,
happy to follow his master wherever he went.

Immediately a spider team leader confronted
Guido. “Human pestilence, stop that!” demanded the team leader.
“That tree is Imperial property on our side of the MDL.”

“Get lost,” replied Guido. “The branches hang
over the line on our side.”

The team leader drew his pistol and shot
Guido in the head. Fortunately, the bullet glanced off Guido’s
Kevlar helmet. Guido fell unconscious to the ground. Spot
immediately struck the team leader, tearing him apart. Guido’s
partner back at the guard shack, Corporal Williams, ran out to
assist. Blood streamed down Guidos’s face. A spider guard also ran
to the scene. As the spider was about to shoot the monitor dragon,
Corporal Williams fired his assault rifle, killing the guard.
Corporal Williams then dragged Guido by the collar to cover, back
across the checkpoint.

An Arthropodan tank soon responded to a
general alarm, as did a Legion armored car. They both fired
missiles and machine guns before retreating behind buildings,
establishing defensive positions. Both sides called for air
support. Panicked customers at Walmart streamed out both sides of
the store with looted merchandise, adding to the confusion.

My phone rang. As I reached to answer, an
artillery round smashed into my office, burying me in rubble. I was
oblivious to the escalating fighting at the border crossing for the
rest of the afternoon. Captain Lopez and a work crew dug me out
later. Most of the buildings on both sides of the border were
damaged. Only Walmart had gone unscathed. I ordered constantina
wire laid across the shopping aisles dividing the store. Also, I
was informed a Legion helicopter gunship had been shot down and its
crew captured.

“What happened?” I asked, dusting myself off.
“How come it took so long to dig me out? I thought I had been
forgotten about.”

“Corporal Tonelli got into some sort of
confrontation at the border crossing,” explained Captain Lopez,
inspecting the debris. “I will be reviewing the helmet camera
recordings. It is amazing you are still alive. Look at this
place.”

“Believe it,” I said. “Tell the spider
commander I want to move our meeting up to tomorrow. We both have
issues to discuss that cannot wait.”

Then, miraculously, it rained. I set up a
lawn chair in front of my destroyed office building, and watched
the Arthropodan flagpole. I drank a beer as I waited. The rain came
down in torrents. It didn’t take long. I could hear the metal
bending as the gargantuan Arthropodan flag absorbed rainwater. The
additional weight violently snapped the flagpole. It crashed into
the spider side of Walmart, putting a hole in the roof. I raised my
beer in a toast to the rain. Legionnaires cheered.

Even though the shooting had stopped, late
that night, spider commandos came up through a tunnel and blew up
my newly completed swimming pool. The explosion woke me from a
sound sleep. As dawn approached, Legion commandos placed charges
around the trunk of the offending fruit tree at the border
crossing. The resulting explosion toppled the tree onto the spider
side of the DMZ, where it caught fire.
Good riddance!

* * * * *

The conference room was just a side office at
Walmart. The MDL was painted on the floor, dividing the room. The
MDL was also painted across the conference table. Someone even
dutifully drew a small red MDL across an ashtray set at the middle
of the table.

“Are we done shooting at each other?” I
asked. “General Kalipetsis wants to know. I am sure your general
staff does too.”

“For now,” replied the spider commander.

“There was no need for you to blow up my
swimming pool last night,” I said.

“We thought it was a missile silo or a
command and control communications bunker,” explained the spider
commander. “Sorry about that.”

“I’m sorry about your fruit tree,” I said. “I
lost my temper.”

“I am willing to end hostilities if you are,”
said the spider commander. “Video indicates it was caused by some
sort of misunderstanding at the border crossing.”

“Misunderstanding?” I asked. “Your team
leader shot Corporal Tonelli. You have instigated a pattern of
provocation along the border for quite some time. There is no
excuse for your behavior.”

“You started it by blowing up my distillery,”
accused the spider commander. “Do you realize how much revenue I
lost? I have contracts to fill. I was nearly put out of
business!”

“You should have not lied about what you were
doing under that tent,” I said. “I don’t care if you make whiskey
or white lightning. You can make as much as you want. Just tell me
about it first, so I don’t think you are up to something else. I
thought you were digging up fossils.”

“What is wrong with digging up fossils?”
asked the spider commander. “We will do as we please on our side of
the DMZ. You are the most anal human pestilence I have ever
met.”