Amplified (11 page)

I’d told my dad to go to hell. There was no going back from that.

“You were five bucks short,” Veta said as we walked back to the house for band practice.

I dodged a wad of tourists aiming their cameras at the ocean. “Oh—sorry. I’ll pay you back the difference.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “It happens.”

I took a deep breath, letting the salty air coat my lungs. West Cliff Drive was full of life today. The sirenlike call of seagulls blended in with an array of noises—people on bikes, kids with ice cream–coated faces, couples stealing kisses, and dogs trotting alongside their owners, tails wagging. The knot of dread in my stomach made me feel like an alien.

“I guess you want to talk about last night?” Veta asked.

“Sure, if you want.”

She did a double take. “Isn’t that why you’ve been weird all day?”

“No—I figured you’d talk to me when you were ready.”

Her arm bumped into mine. “Then what’s up? Your energy is letting off some seriously bad juju today.”

“If you say so.”

She held her hands up. “Hey, I just call it like I see it.”

I shrugged. “Just stressed about the show on Saturday, I guess.”

“Ah.” She kicked a rock down the sidewalk.

“The water looks pretty today. It’s all glassy out there,” I said, pointing to our left.

Veta didn’t even look. “How come you never talk about your family?”

Heat rushed to my face. Tina had told her about my freak-out. “That was random.”

“Can’t help it.” She made a churning motion with her hand. “Racing thoughts.”

“There’s not much to talk about. My dad’s a cardiologist. Busy a lot.”

“And you don’t get along with him…”

My back stiffened. “I guess your mom told you about my reading?”

“Only because I asked. And she didn’t say much—just that you closed up at the mention of your parents. Which wasn’t a surprise. You did the same thing to me.”

“Me and my dad want different things for my future. It’s all pretty cliché. Whatever.”

“What about your mom?”

“She left when I was five.”

“That makes sense,” she said softly.

“What does that mean?”

“Relax.” She punched my arm. “You have a real masculine energy about you, like you’re almost afraid of your femme side.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t bother to get all prettied up. Sue me.”

“
Not
what I meant. It’s your front, how you handle yourself.” Her lips curved up in a playful smile. “Although, if I had a rack like yours, I’d flaunt it.”

My arms pressed tighter into my sides. “It kills my back.”

She shook her head, still grinning. “Don’t be so afraid of your girl parts.”

We headed up the driveway of the house, not a moment too soon.

When we walked into the studio, Bryn and Sean were bickering about something. Felix, as usual, hovered over his laptop, completely oblivious.

“Dude, she cheated on you,” Bryn said. “Don’t be such a sentimental douche.”

“What’s going on?” Veta grabbed her blue Gibson SG off the wall.

“None of your business,” Sean said, tinkering with his E string.

She scrunched her nose. “You’re still mad? Come on, she deserved it.”

“Is that how it works in your newfound universe of peace and love?” Sean narrowed his eyes. “You can’t punch anyone, but it’s fine to douse them in salmonella.”

Veta’s grin faded, and she bent over to fiddle with her amp. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

I pulled my guitar off the rack and exchanged an uncomfortable smile with Felix.

“Move on, will ya? Amy isn’t even that hot.” Bryn tossed a drumstick at Sean’s head.

Sean ducked, letting it crash into the wall. “Not to you. She has a brain.”

I rammed a guitar cord into my amp input. Bryn apparently had ridiculous expectations. Amy wasn’t supermodel material, but she was pretty in that rebel, pinup girl sort of way. I could only imagine what he thought of me.

“Natalie is bringing her friend by tonight,” Bryn continued. “She’ll make you forget all about Amy—trust me.”

“Not interested,” Sean muttered, his eyes meeting mine for a second.

A ping of gladness hit me, but it didn’t stay long. He was too hung up on Amy to care about other girls.

“I think we should open with ‘Encryption,’” Felix said. I admired his ability to block everyone out.

“Why?” Veta adjusted the height of her mic.

“I made an awesome intro for it last night.” He rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist.

“Quit changing them up,” Bryn said. “There was nothing wrong with the last one.”

“Let’s hear it,” I said.

Felix didn’t waste a second. A deep hum twirled around the room, followed by a drum loop that sounded as if it were playing underwater. A crisper beat kicked in with a staccato bass line, giving the song tension and drive. It made me want to forget everything else.

“Nice,” Sean said, tapping his hand against his leg.

Felix cut the sound, giving Bryn a proud look.

“I love it,” Veta said.

“Think you can nail it this time, Jasmine?” Bryn asked, his blue eyes playful.

I nodded and turned my back to him. It wasn’t like I could forget my sloppy playing during the first tryout.

Felix started his intro again and Veta joined in with breathy vocals. “Lost in pictures. Writhing with conviction. You walk among the phantoms you breed.” It sounded even more amazing than I remembered.

I turned up the reverb and chorus, recalling the arpeggio I’d come up with. There was no Dave watching my every move now. I could do it right this time.

By the chorus, I was in the zone, moving into a distorted riff. I glanced around the studio, taking pleasure in how focused everyone looked. Our timing was near perfect. Sweat formed on the back of my neck, but chills inched up my legs and arms. This was just what I needed.

I used a little EBow at the end, letting the hum of my guitar build into a slow scream. My chest relaxed and warmth tickled my stomach. If Bryn had issues with this, he needed his head checked.

I bit my lip and glanced in Sean’s direction. He studied me like I was a complicated book. All intensity, no hint of a smile. Which could be good or bad. Some books were intoxicating, while others got thrown across the room.

“
That
was better than sex,” Veta announced.

I tore my gaze from Sean’s.

Bryn chuckled. “Speak for yourself.”

Felix gave me a quick smile. “I love what you did.”

“Thanks—I tried to mix it up some.”

“Yeah, that was tight, Jasmine.” Bryn twirled a stick in the air and caught it again. “Now we just need to work on your body.”

“Excuse me?”

“What the hell, Bryn?” Veta asked.

He exhaled a short laugh and held his hands up. “I meant—you gotta loosen up. Try to look like you’re having fun.”

“But I was…”

“She’s still learning the songs,” Sean said.

“What shows did you say you played again?” Bryn asked.

None, I wanted to shout. But I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, waiting, expecting. My throat tensed. “You never asked.”

“I’m asking now.”

Oh God, think. No big venues—that would be too unbelievable. Nothing too small, like a high school talent show. “Well, there’s this yearly art festival in Woodside.” True. “Me and Ja—um, my band played that a couple of times.” Not so true. Bryn looked far from impressed. “And we jammed at this local club, Whiskey Hill, every Friday.” The only
bands
that played there were retired executives doing cover songs.

“Never heard of it,” Bryn said. “They get a decent crowd?”

“It’s not bad.”

“Maybe you can get us a gig there,” Veta said, grinning at Sean. “I bet Aunt Linda and Jamie would
love
to see us.”

Sean snorted a laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“I’ll look into it.” Every lie made the lump in my throat bigger. If I could just rock this show, they’d stop questioning my ability.

We played a song called “Puppet Girl” next, a soft, childlike number. Felix’s keyboard part made me shiver. It sounded like melting bells in a cathedral. My fingers slid up the guitar’s neck, finding a nice middle ground between the synths and Sean’s cloudy bass line.

“Your tongue is stale with lies and you’re dead inside,” Veta sang. “Puppet Girl. It’s time to speak your mind.”

My picking hand tensed at her seething tone. She rocked back and forth with the mic, her eyes shut and brow crinkled.

“Hold up!” Bryn said, ceasing his beat.

Veta shot him an annoyed glance and the rest of us stopped playing.

“Jasmine, are your feet glued to the floor or what?” he asked.

“Uh, no.”

Bryn hopped off the stool and moved behind me, pushing my shoulders down. “Christ, you’re like a Popsicle stick.”

I twisted away, knocking my headstock into Felix’s keyboard. “Sorry!”

Felix frowned and rubbed the corner like it was his own skin.

Veta giggled. “Shall we call you Grace?”

The room suddenly felt 120 degrees. A glance at Sean’s smirk didn’t help matters.

“What’s your problem?” Bryn asked.

For a second, I saw my dad standing in Bryn’s place. The disapproving gaze, the criticism. “I’m tired of you jumping all over me.”

Bryn’s mouth turned down at the corners. “You’re going to bore the audience to death.”

“What would you like me to do—stand on one leg?”

“That would be an improvement,” he retorted.

“We all have to bring energy to the stage, babe,” Veta said. “You’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you just stare at your fret board.”

“Sean doesn’t move around much,” I blurted out. Way to make him hate me even more.

“But he also looks completely at ease,” Veta said. “His passion shows up in his face, his movements.”

Felix chuckled. “Amy called it ‘quiet sexy.’”

I peeked in Sean’s direction. He was looking down at his bass, his cheeks more flushed than usual.

“I think you need to trust yourself a little more,” Veta said. “Let that guard down.”

My fingernails dug into the scratchy material of my jeans. “I’ll work on it.”

Bryn and Veta exchanged a significant look, but they let the issue drop. We got through the next couple of hours without further comment about my presence—or lack thereof. But Felix wasn’t so lucky. Bryn called him out for a high-pitched pad he added to “Acceleration.”

“It’s like that damn mosquito tone,” Bryn said.

Felix rolled his eyes. “You’ve got really sensitive ears for a drummer.”

The argument might’ve continued, but the studio door banged open and two girls walked in. One was a leggy blonde wearing shredded jeans and a cami. The other was a petite but chesty brunette in a white babydoll dress and striped thigh-highs. Both had golden skin and rosy cheeks, like they’d been dancing in the sun all day.

“Ladies,” Bryn said. “You made it.”

“You could’ve mentioned you’d be in the studio, dork,” the blonde said. “We were waiting out front for twenty minutes.”

Bryn laughed it off and introduced the band. Their smiles lingered on Sean, but they barely acknowledged the rest of us.

“Your guitar is gorgeous,” the dark-haired girl said to Sean. “It’s, like,
emerald
green.”

“It’s a bass, but thanks,” he muttered.

Veta batted her eyelashes at me and plastered a dumb grin on her face. I had to bite my tongue to avoid laughing.

“Let’s play ‘Encryption’ for them,” Bryn said. He nodded at the girls. “Tell us what you think.”

“Sure!” they said almost in unison. The brunette whispered something in her friend’s ear. They poked each other and laughed.

I kept my eyes shut through most of the song, but the presence of the girls burned into my skin. My fingers shook, causing me to miss a couple of notes. Still, they were probably too busy checking out Bryn and Sean to notice. The thought was enough to get me through the song without any major screwups.

The girls clapped and hooted when we finished. “You guys are awesome,” the blonde said, making her way over to Bryn.

“How long have you been playing?” the brunette asked Sean.

The rest of us might as well have been invisible.

Veta wrinkled her nose at me as if she’d read my mind. “Looks like practice is over.” She hung up her guitar and shook out her hair. “You ready to split, Felix? I need to eat and change first.”

Felix held up a finger, staring intently at his laptop. “Just one sec.”

I turned off my amp. “Where’re you guys going?”

“Goth night at Club Mercury. It’s eighteen and up, though,” Veta said. “Unless you got a fake.”

My stomach sank. “Yeah, right.”

She shrugged and headed out. “Hurry up, Felix. I know where your keys are.”

Felix took off after her, mumbling bye to me. I watched the door shut behind them. A night out at a club sounded a lot better than sitting in an empty room all night, left alone with today’s events. At least I had the ocean.

The studio was filled with girlie laughter, mostly from Bryn’s date, or whatever he considered her. She’d try to tickle him, and he’d grab her wrists. The other girl sat cross-legged on the floor, talking away to Sean. His eyes flicked to mine and his lips parted, almost like he wanted to say something, but I turned away and hung my guitar on the wall. I didn’t want him to think I cared. Because I didn’t.

“Hey, Jasmine?” Sean called as I reached for the door.

“Yeah?” I tried to sound casual, unconcerned.

“Are we still going to catch that movie?”

“What?”

His eyes widened expectantly. “You said it started at nine thirty, right?”

I glanced between him and the brunette. Her lips stretched into a tight smile. “Uh…yeah.”

“Sorry, I gotta take off,” Sean said to his admirer. “But it was nice to meet you.”

Her face fell as she told us to have fun. I almost felt sorry for her. Sean waited for the door to shut behind us before he spoke.

“Thanks for the rescue.”

“Do you usually need to be rescued from pretty girls?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and shifted his weight. “Not really—no. I just didn’t want to be rude.”