An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) (14 page)

He knelt at her feet to hide his grin, covered her slender legs with new stockings, and tied the ruby-red garter ribbons beneath each knee briskly. When he was done, Matilda swiftly brought her knees together before he could glimpse more than the top of her thighs.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“A little.”

He gestured to the table. “Then sit and pour tea for us both please.”

Matilda fled across the room to where a table had been set for them earlier, and while she poured, William toasted bread. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you. And you?”

He sighed. “The chaise is too short.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He turned while the bread finished toasting and admired his wife’s proportions for a long while. Exquisite, but out-of-bounds. A pity. He carried the first slice to her plate when it was ready, then returned to toast another for himself. “Keeping your virtue intact was my idea, hence the separate sleeping arrangements.”

Matilda frowned as she tugged the sheer chemise a little farther down her legs. “I appreciate that.”

“But we cannot be strangers,” he said as he lifted his gaze slowly up her body. Her corset-bound breasts practically spilled out of the garments. He grew heated as he recalled what lay beneath. “For better or worse, you are my wife, and I can only sleep on that chaise so often before a servant catches me there.”

A deep frown line appeared on her brow. “I would not like to be gossiped about any more than we already are. I could easily return to the chamber upstairs.”

“No. I don’t care for the separation,” he said quickly.

William liked knowing Matilda was far from the servants. He wasn’t at all worried about any gossip they stirred up. If there was talk about his sudden marriage, the scandal would blow over soon enough.

One only had to look at Matilda now, or when she was properly dressed, to see her appeal. He had the luxury of not caring that such a choice was unpopular since it was to be as brief a marriage as possible. He had Rutherford’s support, and that meant his sisters would not suffer any slights during the season. He was content with his and Matilda’s chaste arrangement, especially since the alternative was being followed by Miss Chudleigh. Matilda did not chase him at all.

“I would have you grow used to me touching you, seeing you uncovered like I have this morning. I did not like the way you held the bedsheet to your chest as if I were about to impose on you. I assure you I will not try to steal your virtue, but I would like to dress you each day in place of a maid.”

“You startled me this morning.” She licked her lips. “I had not expected to see you when I woke.”

“You will see me every morning now.” He nodded, deciding to deny himself such a simple pleasure no longer. He would break her of her hesitation eventually, allowing her time to come to terms with his presence and her place in his life. “I will dress you, and we will take breakfast together.”

“And at night?”

“We will share the same bed from tonight. We can discuss our day and fall asleep together, side by side,” he told her, tipping his head to the side as she worried at her lip. “We have done that before, many a night in fact, during my recovery.”

“Except that I did all the talking. You never said a word even when you could.” She pointed her finger at him and then attempted to hide the gesture behind her back. “I only fell asleep near you a few nights by accident.”

“I did not mind. I have missed your reading to me though.” He grinned. “The chaise was acceptable for the first nights of our marriage but no longer. Agreed?”

“Yes, William.”

He smiled widely at hearing his name, but he noted she’d dropped her toast to her plate while they conversed. “Eat. We have errands to run today.”

She picked up her toast again but spoke before taking a bite. “What sort of errands?”

He supposed he’d have to grow used to explaining everything in detail. One of the facets of marriage every man must accept if he wished for a congenial home life. “My grandfather has offered a town carriage for our use this season. I will, of course, order one bespoke, but until that task can be completed, we will make do with one of the Newberry conveyances on loan.”

She paled a little. “If you think that best.”

William leaned his head on his hand, cradling his scarred cheek in his palm. “I expect you to answer me immediately Matilda, but if you agree with everything I say then our conversations will grow dreadfully dull before too long.”

She glanced away, frowning. “Do you really need a town carriage?”

“
We
need one, yes,” he corrected her. “The carriage in question will be on loan from Newberry House and is largely used by my cousin Sally when she is in Town. Since Sally remains at Newberry Park with her new husband, it has been offered to us until we can acquire our own. I have a larger landau, but it is better used for long journeys rather than the tight confines of London’s streets. I never got around to purchasing a smaller carriage for myself. I’ve hardly been ashore long enough to need one before and have most often hailed a hack for short journeys about Town.”

“That is very sensible.”

“I will not allow you to hail a hack,” he said in case she ever entertained the idea. “You will have your own carriage and the protection of our staff whenever you go out.”

“I see.” She swallowed. “You come from a large family.”

“I do.” He smiled. “Does the idea of meeting all of them worry you? Don’t let it. They are not unkind people, but I did choose to live four blocks away from everyone quite deliberately. They are loud and often meddlesome. I am sure you will come to agree with me by the time of our separation.”

“You do not like a fuss,” she whispered, eyes dropping to her lap.

“Obviously. I prefer a quiet life,” he reminded her. He sipped his tea and finished his toast. “If the war has taught me anything, it is to cling to the familiar and value what I have. Peace, routine, and all the comforts my wealth can provide for us. I used to keep dogs as a boy. Do you care for them?”

“I had a black spaniel until I was fourteen,” she confessed. “Blackie. I was terribly unimaginative as a child to name him so.”

Her nose wrinkled, and he studied her warmer expression with approval. “I probably should confess to having been an equally unimaginative child. I had a terrier. I called him Blackie as well.” He frowned, recalling that long-dead pet and his sadness at being told it had been shot by mistake by a guest at Newberry Park. He shook his head. How long ago must that have been?

Matilda gazed at him with sparkling eyes and then leaned forward, at last appearing to forget she was sitting down to breakfast in her unmentionables, to touch his arm. “How clever of us to have picked the same name!”

A little thrill swept through him. That was the first time Matilda had referred to them as a couple, and he liked the sound on her lips. He also liked that she’d reached for him. It was the first time since their marriage. The first time even since he’d left his sick bed.

Since Matilda appeared disinterested in eating, William took her hand and raised her from her chair, then returned her to the center of the room where she could see her reflection well. He collected her new gown, a soft green muslin with yellow flowers embroidered at the neck, sleeves and hem, and buttoned her up in it. Even though the gown was of a modest design, dressing her aroused him enough that his cock swelled inside his breaches.

Only the faintest hitch in Matilda’s breathing suggested she’d noticed his state, but he ignored his condition and her reaction.

They were not going to remain married, and he believed taking liberties would only cause problems for both of them. The complication of a pregnancy would extend the duration of their arrangement. If she birthed a boy, the child would be his heir and their arrangement might have to continue indefinitely.

Matilda wasn’t meant for a life with him. But he wanted to educate her in the ways of his world, and perhaps if their natures aligned the way he hoped, he might tempt her to enjoy what they did together.

When she was stylishly dressed in the manner he preferred, modest chain about her neck and blushing deeply from his attention and compliments, he grinned. “Wife.”

Her answering smile was just a little embarrassed. “Husband.”

He held out his arm. “Let us go inspect this carriage of Sally’s, and if it suits our purpose we can move on to the second task of the day.”

“What might that be?”

“There is a litter of puppies waiting for our inspection in the adjoining mews. They are too young to be taken from their mother today but in a few weeks, if you like, we can bring one home with us. Shall we walk?”

Matilda had kept to the house and the drawing room a little more than he considered healthy. He wanted her seen on his arm. He wanted her to want to spend time with him.

“I would like that,” she agreed, a hesitant smile blooming on her lips.

He paused to add a stylish bonnet to her head, passed her short kid gloves to slip on while he collected his own possessions and a few coins. He escorted her down the staircase and out onto the street, well pleased with how the morning had gone between them.

Dressing her had been both arousing and comforting. He could stand a little more togetherness if she would only agree.

Matilda, however, let out a shaky breath as soon as they were out of sight of home.

He clasped his hands behind his back as they strolled along side by side. “You have nothing to be nervous about.”

“Surely you must regret your grandfather’s interference. You’ve only just recovered, and now you are saddled with a wife. I am afraid I have not been a very good wife to you.”

He wasn’t concerned, but he was curious about her opinion on marriage. “What sort of wife should you be?”

“I don’t know,” she said, clearly worried. “I never imagined marrying a stranger.”

He raised a brow. “Would it surprise you to learn that you know my nature better than anyone? I’m not the sort of man to reveal my habits to just anyone.”

She blushed again. “I do know your nature, but you do not know me.”

“You might not have noticed, but I was attempting to fill in the gaps of my knowledge this morning over breakfast.” He fell silent as they strolled side by side for a while. They kept pace easily enough, and he was pleased he did not have to shorten his strides very much at all to match hers. “Many marriages among the
ton
are hardly ever more than a business arrangement.” He shrugged. “As is ours to a degree, I suppose, but I hope that we might become friends.”

“Friends?”

“Well, yes.” He leaned toward her. “It will be a long and trying affair if you keep avoiding me.”

Her hand rose to her lips guiltily. “I’ve hidden from you this week.”

“I did notice that, but no more. Agreed?”

“Yes, William.”

He took her arm to help her across the street and then decided to keep it, steering her around people and obstacles in their path.

Miss Chudleigh’s carriage was also approaching them. He ignored the woman whose face was pressed to the glass and smiled at Matilda as they carried on at an unhurried pace. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes, of course.”

William stopped once Miss Chudleigh’s carriage was out of sight. “How did you feel after I spanked you last year?”

Her eyes widened in shock. “I… I cried,” she whispered, glancing around to see who was near.

He patted her hand and drew her along the street again. “You did not cry this morning?”

“No. It did not hurt as much.”

Holding back had been quite deliberate. “Did you tell anyone what we did last year?”

She shook her head quickly. “But I think Dawson might have heard us.”

That was what he’d suspected too. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I was sure no one would believe me,” she admitted. “I have not been spanked since I was a little girl.”

He moved her away from a hawker selling pigeon pies, keen to keep their conversation going without distractions. “I enjoyed it, you know. Spanking you then, and this morning too. I find discipline pleasurable.”

A shocked gasp left her pink lips. “You like hurting me?”

He had indeed. The memory of her red bottom had warmed many of his evenings while he’d been away. “What I did to you caused no lasting harm.”

“I felt pain the next day every time I sat down, and this morning.”

He chuckled. “That pleases me.”

She stopped then, slipping from his grip. “Why?”

“Because I am ashamed to say I wanted you to remember me when I went back to my ship. My hand on your skin, my attention on you. I was brought up to believe a gentleman is not supposed to dally with the hired help. You have been my greatest test and greatest failure. There must be a reason for that.” He considered her. It was strange how much he was drawn to her. “Do you remember everything I did last year?”

She blushed again and glanced left and right.

Was she too shy to admit what had occurred after the spanking even now they were married? He leaned close, close enough that his breath would tickle he ear. “I wasn’t the only one aroused by the spanking, was I?”