An Eternity of Dead Sun (An Eternity of Eclipse Novel Book 2) (37 page)

“I am pooped out too,” I confessed to Eclipse, taking the final bite of my protein bar.

Eclipse laughed again, sticking our wrappers into the outer pocket of his backpack before gulping down an entire water bottle.

“Me too,” he admitted. He discarded the empty bottle beside our backpacks and stretched, groaning out loud when he tested out his muscles and realized how sore they were.

We shared miserable glances with one another. Heaving exhausted breaths (and having no more energy to pretend we weren’t in pain) we collapsed onto the rock and allowed the muscles of our bodies to rest. I was calmed by the coolness of the rock on my back. It helped soothe the aches rummaging through my body.

Wind coursed over us, surrounding the bout of contemplative silence we fell into. I reflected upon the day we had and felt a tinge of guilt settle upon me.

“I’m sorry for such a screw-up of a day,” I apologized sadly, noting how worn out he looked. This birthday surprise wasn’t going as seamlessly as I thought it would. Actually, if I had to be honest, I would say that it pretty much sucked. “Phix and Coco told me it was a bad idea to do all this, but I didn’t listen. You must be so miserable.”

A ghost of a smile spread across Eclipse’s lips. His eyes skimmed over the fast moving stream. “I am freezing, I am hungry, the muscles of my body are aching like no other, and I am exhausted as hell, but the last thing I am is miserable.” His smile grew into one of irony. He drew his gaze upwards to the majestic canvas in the Heavens. Countless stars illumed the world above us, keeping us company in the cold night. “One would think that I’d be miserable, trekking around the mountain like an animal and resting out here like one, but the truth is . . . I’m fine.”

My eyes brightened with a ray of hope. “Really?”

“Well, I’m not saying that I’m the happiest Demon in the world, but I feel at peace right now. I can’t complain too much.” He laughed. “I mean, what is it you humans always say?” He paused briefly to recall the right term. “‘It’s the thought that counts,’ right?” I was about to nod when he looked at me with a reflective thought on his face. “Especially considering how upset you were with me.”

I lapsed into a brief silence. I didn’t expect him to bring up our dramatic episode from last night. It felt surreal that a little over twenty-four hours ago, I was determined to kick him out of my life. The mood between us had shifted to a more lighthearted one, but in the fortress of my mind, I could never forget how angry and upset I was. I thought it was just me because I was the human (and the one with all the emotions), so it came as a surprise that Eclipse was bringing this up.

I regarded him curiously. “How upset did you think I was?” I asked, going along with the conversation.

“I know that you still have reservations about me,” he answered, gazing into my eyes, “but we’ll overcome this.”

I laughed incredulously. “And why are you so sure?”

“Because we’re friends,” he replied, as if it was the simplest answer in the world. “Because that’s what friends are supposed to do.”

“I will be very careful with you from now on, Eclipse,” I declared with quiet firmness. I didn’t want him to think that we were starting on a new slate. “I will treat you like a friend, but I won’t trust you like one. The only reason why you’re still here is because I need you to help me. Once we’re done, I’ll more than likely be done with you as well. But for now, I’m careful with you. Everything you say will be taken with a grain of salt.”

He nodded, his expression unreadable. “That’s a good way to deal with me, Gracie.”

My lips twisted with curiosity. “You’re not going to try and convince me otherwise?”

He shook his head, staring at me with smiling eyes. “They say that actions speak louder than words; I will let my actions speak louder than my words. You’re a smart girl, Teacup. Through my actions in the long run, I’m sure you will be able to determine whether or not you should trust me.”

I lightly smiled at the statement. It warmed all the crevices of my heart. It wasn’t poetic, it wasn’t a pretty lie, and it wasn’t meant to be a promise—it was just a statement that held unwavering certainty. For this, I truly respected what he said because I hated promises. It was better for the human heart to live with an optimistic statement rather than a broken promise.

With an unspoken silence of agreement, one where I wordlessly took him up on his offer to judge him based on his actions, Eclipse returned my smile before redirecting his attention back to the skies.

Following his lead, I drew my gaze upwards. I granted myself the serenity of getting lost in the vast sky that shimmered like a dark ocean. The streaming water calmed my senses, the whispers from the woodland creatures brought peace to my exhaustion, and the companionable silence I shared with Eclipse offered nothing but tranquility for me. The day didn’t exactly go as planned, but my aching muscles aside, I was actually having a really nice time.

“I heard your conversation with Father Baek,” Eclipse brought up after a long pause. Though his gaze was fixed above, I knew his attention was unyieldingly on me.

“I know you did,” I replied idly. My eyes were trained on the stars, but just like him, my attention was solely vested on him.

“I didn’t realize you were so religious.”

I heaved a sigh as the breeze rustled through the tree branches, acting as our background music for the night. I should’ve known it would leave an impression on Eclipse’s mind that I not only believed in God, but that I also prayed to him for a good portion of my life.

I gave him a sideway glance; there was a sheen of light humor in my eyes. “Because I’m so sadistic?”

“Because you were so young,” he corrected, momentarily turning sideways to regard me. There was pity in his eyes. “It must’ve been difficult for you growing up, to pray so hard for ten years . . . only to be ignored.” The pity in his eyes mounted. “At least for Demons, our sadism controls our emotions. It keeps us from getting hurt emotionally and it keeps us strong mentally. Yet in your case, as I’ve come to learn, even your sadism isn’t at its full capacity. You really had nothing of substance by your side growing up. In short, it must really suck to be you.” 

I shrugged quietly, redirecting my focus back to the skies.

With anyone else, I would ordinarily squash this conversation before it materialized. With Eclipse, I didn’t find it necessary to put a wall up.

“You made your peace with God’s snobbery and I made peace with God’s shortcomings. And as far as having nothing of substance growing up . . . ” I laughed, looking at him jokingly. “I make do with what I have. In my mind, I have two hands, two legs, and a pretty sizeable brain—I’ll live.”  

He smiled favorably at me, impressed and strangely proud of my answer. Eclipse wasn’t the type who dwelled in the pitfalls that life had thrown at him. He was the type who got up, fought back, and beat it down without mercy. I realized I must’ve gone up a notch in his book simply for not complaining.

“Your survival instincts aren’t so bad after all, Teacup,” he mused with soft approval.

“Do you miss your eldest brother?” I initiated abruptly.

I knew it was a personal question, and ordinarily with our relationship, we tried to keep it on the superficial layer. However, since he was able to get me to open up about my screwed up upbringing, I rationalized it was only fair that he showed me the same courtesy.

It was my turn to get to know him on a deeper level.

“To rule over creation again.”
24
: The Curse

I had doubts that he would actually answer me.

To my surprise, Eclipse gave me the same concession I gave him: honesty.

“A lot,” he answered quietly. A thoughtful expression etched across his face. There was genuine reverence present in his gaze at the thought of his eldest brother. He took a second to recall something and added, “He was the first person I saw when I was born.”

“Really?” I marveled, fascination tingeing my face. I hadn’t expected this interesting detail.

“He was the first to welcome me into the new world,” he confirmed, staring at the sparkling sky. “He was the first, and then it was followed by the rest of my brothers.”

“How did he get captured by the Angels?” I further inquired, sincerely curious as to how such a travesty could occur. Eclipse, even in his dimmed state, was already such a powerful Demon. I couldn’t fathom a Royal Demon—at their full power—being easy prey to conquer.

“I don’t know the exact details,” he replied, his voice sounding distracted. His eyes were fixated on the incandescent moon. “All I know is that he was tricked and overpowered by a very powerful Angel.”

“Have you tried to get him out?”

“I’ve tried plenty of things, but no matter how powerful a Royal Demon may be, we are no match for the Archangels.”

An uneasy sensation sliced through me at the mention of Archangels. It didn’t escape me that, just like the Demons who were after my blood and heart, these powerful entities were a threat to my existence simply because they were trained to execute me without mercy. Other humans may be comforted by their existence, but I was damned by it. In an effort to diffuse my emerging fears, I thrust those morbid thoughts away and asked something else.

“What will you do if you can’t find Genesis’ missing items to defeat the Archangels? From what you’ve told me, you’ll need to find these items if you even want a chance of defeating them. What if you can’t find them?”

“I will find them,” he declared with the utmost resolution. “If I cannot find them right now, then I will figure out a way. An eternity is a long time. I’m sure I’ll find a way.”

“Wait a second.” My brows bunched together when another odd thought assaulted my mind. His previous words about his eldest brother acted as a flashing neon sign to me.

“He was the first person I saw when I was born.”

“You remembered who you first saw?” I spluttered, belatedly processing how peculiar this was. My eyes rounded in wonder. “How is it possible that you remember who you first saw when you were born?”

Eclipse’s lips slid upwards; he was amused with my query.

“The thing you must remember about us Royal Demons is that we do not follow the same life cycle as humans. My father did not believe in giving us lives; he believed in giving us
purposes
in life. We were never given the opportunity to grow up with the world, to have our own views on life. Instead, since the day of our births, we all woke up like this—in this current form. Other Demons age as the centuries pass, but we are the fixtures of this world, the statues that will never erode.”

For an instant, I thought I detected regret in his voice.

His focus roamed over the rocks lying beside us. “We weren’t created to live our own lives, but to carry out the purpose of his creation for us.” Quiet laughter streamed from him. “He dropped the ball with me though.”

“What do you mean?”

“From Gluttony to Sloth and to myself, his powerful yet smaller and more indulgent sins, his powers over us are very scarce. Unlike Pride, Wrath, Envy, and Greed, he did not have as much power to bestow his upbringing unto us. This is the primary reason why Tony is consumed with himself as opposed to being extremely obedient to my father. This is why Sloth couldn’t care less if I attempted to overthrow his monarchy, and why I am so . . . rebellious. His strength was stronger with our eldest brothers, but by the time it reached his younger sons, it was barely enough to keep him alive.”

He shrugged, the amusement in his voice never faltering.

“He basically didn’t have enough authority to ‘discipline’ us before he went away.”

“Lucky for you then,” I murmured, understanding now why Eclipse was able to get away with being rebellious as opposed to being loyal and obedient to his father.

Lucifer was able to impress his discipline over his older sons, thereby ensuring their loyalty to him, but he couldn’t manage such a feat with the remaining three—ergo Eclipse’s propensity to think for himself rather than following his father’s wishes.

“Very lucky for you,” Eclipse retorted fondly, his eyes meeting mine. “Can you imagine what I’d be like if I only listened to my father’s wishes? Can you imagine if instead of doting on you, I tortured you with the hatred he has for your kind?”

I flinched at the possibility of Eclipse harboring any other disposition for me.

“No,” I lied. I could easily imagine him with another crueler personality, but I tried not to. Though he could be better, I liked the personality he had now. I’d rather be doted on than be tortured. As displayed by him at the inn with those Demons, his wrath was not something I wanted to entertain thoughts about.

A faint smile framed the corner of his lips. His gentle expression conveyed that he couldn’t entertain thoughts of hurting me either. “Me too.”

I returned his smile as several birds flew overhead and disappeared into the canopy of trees.

“Do you miss Hell?” I asked after a long while, the peaceful ambiance making me more curious about him.

For as long as we had known one another, we had either been surrounded by people, standing on a building above an entire city of people, or stuck in a rural countryside distracted by the storms of life. This was the first night we were away from civilization, away from the storms, and away from all the distractions. It felt like a safer place to ask my questions.

Eclipse pondered my query.

“I miss my powers,” he finally answered.

I nodded with slight disappointment. I should’ve known he was going to give me a generic answer. I was hoping to get an answer of substance as opposed to one of obviousness.

“I would be able to spoil you more if I wasn’t a Fallen Demon,” he added when he saw the disappointment on my face. I imagined he must’ve taken the hint that I wanted a more significant answer because, even though there was reluctance in the fluctuation of his voice, he continued to elaborate. He turned back to the stream, a sense of regret flowing out of him as he brooded over his own answer. “I feel very . . . incapable right now. I feel like no matter what I do, I can never reach my fullest potential. It is all very limiting. I’ve never felt like this before. I feel so weak, so insignificant, so—”

“Human?”

His bitter smile was confirmation that I was correct.

For a Royal Demon who was used to bending the laws of physics to his will, the physical limitations of a human body were downright consternating to him.

I suppose there was a reason why Eclipse brought up the physical limitations of his current state, but being distracted by the tranquil world I was in, I didn’t think too much of it.

Another long pause flowed between us before Eclipse vocalized something so scandalous that it nearly gave me a heart attack.

“Hug me, Teacup.”

“What?!” I squeaked, sitting up incredulously. I fixed him with a disapproving gaze, my eyes burning with accusation. “Didn’t you just make me a promise?”

“I promised you I wouldn’t make any sexual advances on you, but this is a health related issue.” He pointed at his naked upper body. “I’m freezing here. I ran out without repacking my clothes into my backpack because of you.”

My nostrils flared at his “health related issue” that involved me hugging him. “Is this why you made that comment about feeling like you’re human? Because you’re trying to use it to take advantage of me?”

“No, of course not,” he replied innocently. There was an ethereal glow to him that made him look divine. I resented that even the moon favored his existence. “I really meant it.”

“Hug yourself,” I snapped huffily, moving further to the edge of the rock to put some distance between us. Suddenly, sleeping on the ground next to OinkOink felt safer than sleeping next to this dangerous Demon.

“You have to hug me, Teacup,” he responded just as petulantly. From the grin tugging at his lips, I could tell he was trying hard not to crack up when he saw the horror on my face. He drawled on, his disposition serious. “I’m cold. I’m going to go into hibernation mode if you don’t.”

“Are you serious?” I uttered in escalated horror.

“Yeah,” he plowed on without qualms. “I’m in a fragile state right now. My body already hurts from hiking. If I put anymore stress on it—like make it freeze to death—then it’s going to go into hibernation mode to protect me.”

I cut him a skeptical glance. “I don’t believe you.”

“Don’t hug me for the night then,” he replied, his features pulsing with admonishment, “and we’ll see tomorrow morning if you’ll regret it or not when I go into a coma again. You remember how fun that was for you last time, Gracie? Would you want that to happen while we’re in the middle of the wilderness?”

“Bah!” I finally capitulated, plastering myself over his chest and hugging him to shut him up.

It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t consumed with lust when I did hug him. The heat from his body jumped over me, willing me to let loose and enjoy his body heat while we were outside in the cold. I tried to fight it off, to prevent lust from penetrating my senses. The plan didn’t work because all I could feel were the hard planes of his lean body. It was distracting, to say the least. 

“You’re warm, you liar,” I observed, my arms wrapped around him while my cheek rested on his sternum.

“I’m cold inside,” he informed me in a matter-of-fact tone before hooking his arms around me and wrapping me closer. It was his unspoken way of telling me that I couldn’t take back my hug. I wasn’t going anywhere for the night.

I should’ve reprimanded him for doing this, but I didn’t say anything because it felt nice to sleep on his chest. Although the bathrobe was warm, being this close to him made me feel as though I was cooped up beside a fire. It was dangerous, but it also made me feel safe.

“You have a heart,” I noted absently, listening to the rhythmic beating within his chest.

“I am a living being, Teacup,” he murmured lightheartedly.

I didn’t say anything. I merely continued to lie there while I listened to the drumming of his heart. It was staggering to actually listen to his heartbeat. It may sound silly, but all this time, I still found him to be surreal. It was strange to digest that he wasn’t a fantasy; he was inarguably real.

“You haven’t had your first kiss, have you?” he asked offhandedly, his fingers gingerly gliding through my damp hair.

I smirked, resting my chin on his chest and tilting my eyes at him. “Didn’t we talk about this earlier in the day?”

“You told me that one of your exes broke up with you because you wouldn’t give him more than a peck on the cheek.” He smiled, bringing a finger up and tracing the curvature of my lips. “It made me realize that you’ve never kissed anyone either.” A chuckled flowed from his chest. “It made me wonder if you have a reason for holding out for so long.”

I expelled a breath, briefly looking away to the stream.

“It’s a long story,” I mumbled quietly, not wanting to get into it. This night was already far too sentimental for me. I wasn’t too keen on making myself more vulnerable for the night.

“That’s the beauty of eternity,” Eclipse drawled, catching his hand underneath my chin and tipping my face to meet his. His eyes rippled with gentle persuasiveness. “I’ve got nothing but time.”

There was something in the way he looked at me that melted my defenses. Oddly, lying there with Eclipse in the middle of nowhere, I felt safe opening up and letting some things off my chest. Our relationship was a two-way road. Since he opened up about how he grew up, I had to do the same. It was only fair.

“You know that I grew up alone,” I began pensively, reverting back to a childhood I didn’t want to relive. A lump wedged itself in my throat as I continued to speak. “The big misconception people have with sadistic humans like me is that they think all of us are very indifferent and emotionless people.” I sighed. “Sometimes I wonder about that too. I wonder if I was more disturbed and more sadistic, then perhaps I wouldn’t be so miserable.”

I swallowed tightly, a pit forming in my stomach as I relived one of the most depressing times of my life. I broke eye contact. My chin was on his chest, but my eyes were back on the stream. I could open up, but I couldn’t look directly at him when I was so vulnerable.

As I spoke, I could sense his eyes on me.

“It’s not a nice feeling to grow up knowing that you’re sick in the head and there’s nothing you can do to help yourself. It’s not a nice feeling to beg God for help and to have him ignore you, and it’s not a nice feeling to know that you will never fit in this world. I feel very cursed.”