An Ever Fixéd Mark (23 page)

Lizzie finished her plate almost too quickly
to satisfy her hungry stomach. She put the empty dish aside and
went over to the table to look at it more carefully. It was
probably too late to be something the Fultons might have owned,
which was normally the extent to which Lizzie bothered to care
about antique furniture.

Her eye caught her reflection in the mirror
above it. Her hair was still untidy despite her hasty attempt at a
ponytail. Then she saw the bright red marks inside her left
shoulder. She touched her skin, not irritating the wounds with pain
or reopening them. They couldn’t be mistaken for bug bites and
wouldn’t be hidden under anything without a collar. She let herself
smile again as she thought of her blood flowing through Ben’s veins
and how it made his heart beat. She gave him life. She bit her lip
on the smile as she thought of the endorphin rush and satisfied
grin that remained even as he slept.

She looked away from the reflection back at
the table. The ceramic vase was rather plain, but very likely from
the same period as the table. The white roses inside them were
exquisite. She never noticed that he had fresh flowers in the
apartment, never mind such lovely roses. They weren’t the $5.99
variety Lizzie bought herself at the supermarket. They were perfect
and pure and bloomed into a brilliant layer of white petals. She
lifted one out of the vase and inhaled a breath.

She felt a sudden swirl of exhaustion spin
her brain. She lifted her eyes back to the mirror and shook her
head to regain the balance of her senses. She had a sudden thought
of rain soaking through her clothes, but it vanished quickly as she
saw Ben’s reflection behind her.

She put the rose back in the vase and turned
to him with a broad smile. He looked half awake, but breathed in a
happy expression to respond to hers. “Are you feeling all right?”
he stifled a yawn.

“I feel wonderful,” she didn’t hesitate the
honesty. “I was just hungry.”

“Did you want to get something to eat?” he
looked at the table behind her, almost too briefly Lizzie thought
she was tricking her mind.

“I made some lunch. Do you want…” she
stopped herself from the instinct to offer him some.

“
That’s good. I honestly
never know if I have the right instruments in a
kitchen.”

“It’s not bad for someone who has nothing to
do with food,” Lizzie restrained herself from commenting on his
knives.

“I had some help buying those things.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he shook his head. “I’m pretty
clueless. You like cooking?”

“I do,” she decided to end the awkward
separation of the couch between them by sitting on it. “Andrew and
I have a friendly competition with our cooking. We always try to
outdo one another at our respective parties. We are also one
another’s biggest fans… which was very difficult when I was trying
not to eat.”

Ben sat beside her and rested his arm over
her shoulder. “So when I go to dinner I should say his cooking is
great, but not as great as yours?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lizzie rested her head
against him. “You know we always talk about starting a catering
business.”

“Why don’t you?”

“It’s a lot of work. Not to mention a lot of
money. I have no money. Andrew has a good job and can’t take time
away from it… so we just host parties and cook for our friends for
free.”

“Well, feel free to invite him over here to
cook with you any time you like,” Ben fingered the edge of her
collar. “In fact, I hope you will. I have to go away for a few
weeks in the beginning of August.”

“What?” Lizzie pulled herself up
straight.

“There is a new clinic opening up outside of
Chicago. I agreed to consult on the organization of the donor
screening lab and registry.”

“Oh,” Lizzie tried not to be too obvious
with her letdown. Her birthday was in the beginning of August. She
couldn’t remember if she ever told him that… if birthdays even
mattered to someone who had been through 255 of them.

“I made the offer before we were seeing one
another and completely forgot about it until she called me last
week. I will miss you,” he touched her cheek.

“I will miss you,” Lizzie decided to get her
dirty dish to bring back to the kitchen.

“You can stay here while I’m gone,” Ben
stood up behind her.

“I might,” she turned to get the plate from
the chair.

“Elizabeth,” he called her attention back
and focused his green eyes in the way that made her feel so calm
and right. “Last night was very special.”

Lizzie felt the smile form on her lips and
melt away the peevish irritation about her birthday. “It was
special for me too.”

He cupped his hand along her chin, pulling
her towards him. The green eyes locked upon her intensely. “I love
you.” Lizzie kissed him, still unable to form the response. He
pulled back and smoothed along her hair. “Did you…” his eyes seemed
to gain concentration and looked for something in her. Was he
trying to see what she felt but couldn’t say? “What did you…”

“I felt it, too,” she breathed close to him
and touched his lips gently. “I wish I didn’t have to wait two
months to do it again.”

Ben dropped his eyes, softening the
intensity of his gaze. “We have to. For your safety.”

“I know,” Lizzie agreed even though she
didn’t really understand it. He stepped back and lifted his eyes
again, but the moment was broken. “I should wash my dishes.”

“Yes,” he nodded, even though Lizzie knew he
didn’t understand how important that was.

“Ben, I…” she lingered wondering if the leap
of her articulation would bring that moment back.

“Mm?”

“Thank you for letting me stay here while
you are gone.”

He looked at her and shifted his eyes to the
white roses again so briefly. “You are always welcome, Lizzie.” She
grabbed the plate and took it to the kitchen, not sure why his
pronouncement of Lizzie unnerved her so much.

Chapter
Sixteen

Lizzie dropped a five in the tip box before
going to the bar to wait for her iced latte. Starbucks was bustling
on Monday morning. She appreciated the speed with which they
delivered her portion of caffeine, allowing her spare time to sit
in a vacated plush chair and eat her turkey bacon sandwich.

She knew she was groggy from the humidity
and the lazy hours of her Sunday. But there was no mistaking the
gray haired gentleman in the opposite corner beside a tiny waisted
brunette. Lizzie bit her lip to restrain from going over to where
he sat with his hand on the lap of the frivolous twenty-something.
She took in a sobering breath and tried to concentrate on the
newspaper left by her chair.

“Lizzie Watson,” Professor McCaffrey called
her back from the newspaper.

“Alec,” Lizzie made her smile overt and her
articulation loud.

“You’ve been visiting your boyfriend this
weekend?” he smiled with no shame over the girl clinging to his
elbow.

“I work at Mt. Elm,” Lizzie muttered, not
wanting to admit she was anywhere close to Ben’s apartment, in case
Alec should remember another location in Central Square with which
to affiliate him.

“Yes, you do,” Alec looked at her with no
indication to the brunette.

“I’m Lizzie,” she offered out her hand.

“This is Claire,” Alec still looked at
Lizzie when the young woman didn’t offer a hand in return.

She felt the gaze of his eyes and made sure
her hair was still draped over her shoulder. She wished she went
home to get a better outfit. “Do you have a class?” Lizzie couldn’t
think of anything better to say, unsure how to confront him.

“I’m not teaching this summer,” Alec didn’t
change his intensity.

“Then you must have lots of time to help Meg
with her thesis,” Lizzie hissed, relieved she said it but terrified
for his response.

“Meg’s a bright girl,” Alec answered. “She’s
doing quite well on her own.”

“Does that mean you…” Lizzie looked at
Claire’s vicious bored expression. “Do you know Meg, Claire?”

The brunette rolled her eyes at Lizzie and
then turned a pleading stare towards Alec. “Can you get me a
refill?” Alec handed Claire his reusable mug without looking at
her.

“You haven’t told Meghan about your
boyfriend,” Alec whispered when Claire joined the line.

“What’s there to tell?” Lizzie shrugged,
determined not to show how she really wanted to react.

“I always thought there was more to you than
a frumpy little secretary.”

Lizzie hardened her eyes. “What is that
supposed to mean?”

“It means that you should give me a call
when he loses his taste for you,” Alec said calmly. Lizzie clenched
her jaw, unable to scream in the midst of the hectic morning coffee
crowd. She knew the brunette hadn’t stopped turning her head from
the line.

“Meg doesn’t know about this?” she let
herself spit out when Claire reached the cashier.

“About Claire?” he laughed.

“About Ben,” Lizzie spoke between her
teeth.

“Meghan likes the fantasy too much,” Alec
lowered his voice in a way that made her skin crawl. “She couldn’t
handle the real thing.”

“Is Claire the only one?” Lizzie glared at
him.

“No,” Alec said lightly. “Like I said, when
you and he are done, call me. “

Lizzie didn’t turn her eyes to watch him
meet Claire and walk out the door. She felt an urge to call Ben,
but thought inciting his anger wouldn’t be a wise reaction to
Alec’s swarminess. He was too old and powerless to be a real
threat. Not to Lizzie. About Meg’s heart she wasn’t so sure.

*****

“I like that one of you and Meg best,” Nora
leaned her chin on Lizzie’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I like it, too. I want a copy of this
one,” Lizzie took it off the top of the pile of pictures in her
hands and handed it over to Meg.

“I have to agree. Those dresses do look
pretty fabulous,” Meg laughed.

“That’s a nice one of Ben, Lizzie,” Nora
continued to look over her shoulder.

“Mmm,” Lizzie agreed as Meg took it.

“He always looks so pale,” Meg scowled. “But
he is handsome.”

Lizzie studied Meg’s expression as she
looked at the photograph. Meg was in slightly better spirits, but
still on the cranky side of her romantic mania. She didn’t seem
able to say anything kind without layering it with a jab first. She
told Ben she was going to go home to Jefferson Park, but decided if
Meg continued she was going to his apartment instead.

As if sensing Lizzie’s dissatisfaction, Meg
lifted her eyes and softened. “You’re very lucky, Lizzie.”

Lizzie’s irritation melted away as quickly
as it came, making her feel foolish for begrudging her long time
friend who wasn’t as lucky. She felt badly that she avoided Meg
since encountering Alec in Starbucks. She knew the good friend
would have gone home to Jefferson Park and said something about his
blatant, unapologetic infidelity. But Lizzie was scared to even
mention Professor McCaffrey. Scared to ignite Meg’s moodiness and
even more scared that any mention of him would lend itself to
another conversation about Ben. It wasn’t until she knew Nora would
be there as a buffer that she felt comfortable to be in Meg’s
company again.

“
I am very lucky,” Lizzie
wondered if she should say anything further. Not that she could say
a lot of the things she found endearing about him. That he was once
a doctor or that he invented a medicine or that he decided it was
more important to be with her than stay alone as he had been for
nearly a century. There were so many things to say. “He said he
loved me.”

Nora pulled away from Lizzie’s side and sat
up with a broad grin. “And what did you tell him?”

“I…” Lizzie stopped from confessing that she
let him drink her blood.

“You didn’t,” Meg reverted to cranky and
tossed the picture of Ben on the coffee table. “What the fuck,
Lizzie? He’s a good guy. He’s good to you.”

“It…” she tripped again, unable to tell them
about Oliver and Melissa Benson or Eloise Hutchins. Not that Oliver
really had anything to do with how she felt about Ben. She was
making up excuses for a fear that had nothing to do with vampires.
And yet… there was still something she felt she should know before
she would let herself love him completely. She didn’t know what,
but it seemed to be lurking around the corner.

“Lizzie isn’t as impulsive as you, Meg,”
Nora touched her hand. “Ben isn’t Alec.”

Lizzie straightened her spine, wishing that
Nora hadn’t gone there. She held her breath anticipating the
explosion from Meg. Instead, Meg took in a gasp and left the room.
Lizzie looked at Nora. “Why did you bring him up?’

“Because I am tired of being nice about the
professor. She should feel this so she will leave him for once and
for all,” Nora shook her head. “I know she’s in pain, but it will
be better for her if he is gone from her life. Did you hear how he
shredded her thesis? That bastard was just jealous because she is
the better writer.”

“He shredded her thesis?”

“She didn’t tell you? He held onto it too
long for her to submit it on time for her deadline. When he gave it
back he undermined every one of her opinions. So now she’s not even
touching it, thinking it’s not good enough.”

“When did she tell you this?”

“Last week,” Nora took a sip of wine,
allowing Lizzie to realize she saw Alec more recently with Claire
on his arm. “I don’t think she’s seen him since he gave it back to
her… but…” Nora lifted her glance as Meg came back into the room,
not bothering to hide her red eyes. She had a few tissues in her
hand and blew her nose loudly.

Nora left Lizzie’s side and sat beside Meg.
“Why don’t you just leave him?”

“I want to… I am always so helpless and go
back to him, just when I think I am over him,” Meg let the tears
stream again. “It’s like I am attached to Alec and will forever be
predetermined to love him.”